Marital Psychosis
by AELGP
Summary: Bella is in a complicated marriage with Jake. Their business is going under and she's ready to throw in the towel, until Edward walks into her life. I want him bad but I'm married...what do I do? Lots of Lemons...Edward/Bella/Jake/Jasper/ and many more
1. Chapter 1

**Marital Psychosis

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**A/N Warning: Disturbing, violent, drug and alcohol situations in this chapter as well as a very detailed Lemon. Te He! I must also state that my marriage is absolutely wonderful due to the aspect of my story and in no way shape or form is written from the personal experience of my marriage. **

**The description of the bar is however from personal experience. I managed this bar for five years and as bad as it was, I loved every single minute of it…there was never a dull moment. **

**Anyhow for those of you who have been through similar situations, you have my sympathy. I have witnessed a lot in my young life. A family member of mine went through this sort of situation and it took a lot for her to get out of this kind of relationship. She is the strongest women I know….I love you.**

**Special thanks to:**

**My wonderful amazing Beta Dee, for always taking my stories and making them so much better.**

**You wonderful readers/reviewers out there who continue to support my messed up mind.**

**And of course my wonderful hot ass husband who is always so supportive…Love you.**

**That's it... on with it…..I hope you all love it….Happy reading…April

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**Bella's Point Of View**

Why the hell did Jacob and I buy this fucking hell hole? We had sunk every last fuck'n dollar we had into this place and still it was falling apart and was in dire need of a renovation. Trust me, I thought about burning the shit hole down to the ground just to collect the fuck'n insurance check, but even still the insurance money wouldn't have been enough to make up for the money, fuck cluster we had put ourselves in.

Jacob was my College sweetheart, my childhood friend and we were expected to get married after we graduated, and so we did. After we both graduated, in Business we decided to take the money we received from the wedding to open up a little night club in the little shit hole of a town we grew up in called Forks.

Look at him over there, scrubbing the fuck'n tables down….God I loathed the man. Every time I saw him I wanted to fuck'n puke. Literally, I had no love for this man, and God help me I wanted out of this dead end marriage of ours. Okay, so I sound like a total bitch, but really there was just nothing there anymore. I needed excitement….I needed passion and he was just a boring fuck who couldn't get it up half the time. So don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes.

Jacob was never the romantic type. The only hard on he got was from working on his damn cars. I swear to God if he could have fucked the exhaust pipe, he would have…come to think of it, he probably did.

My father Charlie was a respected police officer…The Chief of police, to be exact and he loved Jacob to death. Ending our marriage would be the death of him. My mother Renee left my father years ago for another man; at least she would understand my desires of wanting out, but still this town was so damn small that everyone was sniffing up your ass and there was no way in hell, I would ever live this down.

When I went to my best friend Rosalie a few days ago seeking out understanding to my situation, she all but told me I was insane.

"Jacob was the most eligible bachelor in our town, before you came and scooped him up….don't be so fuck'n stupid." Were her exact words, with some other bullshit like….nothing is perfect….marriage is hard….you have to work at it…blah…blah…fuck-ety blah….. She ought to know she'd been married to Emmett for ten years.

Call me naïve, but I figured marriage was to be full of love and bliss filled happiness, not drunk fests and beatings. Yes alright the common marriage has its ups and downs but I swear, if I heard one more person cry to me because their husband didn't buy them the two hundred dollar dress they wanted, I was going to take their fuck'n head off.

God I was so damn stupid. I got married when I was just twenty-three years old and now I was thirty in a dead end marriage…in debt….my business going under and of all things Jacob had now, just recently started talking about having children. How could he think that this was a great idea, when we could barely afford to feed ourselves, let alone pay the fuck'n bills?

If people only knew that he beat me behind closed doors, ran around on me with more women than I could count on all of my fingers and toes, then they might understand my side of things. But oh no…Jacob was too good to be true. All the man ever did was snort cocaine up his nose, drink until he was obliterated, and fucked anything that had tits and a cunt.

When we would fuck- and yes I'm calling it fucking; there was no love making in what we did, I would tell him to put on a condom because I didn't want to get pregnant. In truth, I was on the pill but I damn well, was scared of catching some sort of disease. How sad is that?….I had to protect myself from my own husband, he was disgusting. Jacob would beg me for it and I would give in at least once a month just to shut him the fuck up….I faked every damn orgasm, while he grunted like a fuck'n dog in heat, as he pounded into me, until he had satisfied himself….Fuck'n Pig.

The only damn orgasm that I ever had was from my little friend, the silver bullet. The sad truth to my life was that I had only ever been with Jacob, sexually and as far as relationships go, he was definitely the longest. Prior to Jacob, I had only dated a few men and they never lasted any more than a few weeks.

There were times where I watched him sleep and thought about taking his pillow and smothering the shit out of him. I would never do it of course, but the thought always lingered around in my brain. I would stand over the bed and watch as his naked ass snored and picture myself, clutching the corners of the pillow over his face, while his legs kicked violently, until they were immobile. I would even smile menacingly as I pictured my freedom…..yeah I needed help.

Today we caught a break however and Jacob was thrilled as shit. Our little shithole was booked for some rich ass fucker, who had just moved up the ladder. The company was called Cullen and Sons. I had never heard about it before, but then again it was some uppity company in Seattle and I never left this dive, not to mention that I was so far from this class of people it wasn't funny.

When Jacob excitedly revealed the booking to me, telling me that we were about to make a shit load of money, I couldn't understand why the hell people of their statue would want to have their banquet in a place like this. Jacob said that the lucky fucker they were having the party for, loved our place and asked for it personally. Far be it for me to argue the man's taste in decor.

As of late we didn't have many staff. In fact, all we had working for us was Alice, my sister in Law. We knew that we wouldn't be able to handle the usual crowd of drunken, violent, regular customers and the newer uppity class that was going to be attending tonight. We didn't even have a bouncer and this made me nervous as shit, because of our regulars. They didn't like the kind of people this banquette was sure to bring in and I knew that all hell was going to break loose soon enough. Alice assured us that her friend Jessica was a great help and insisted that we let her help, that she wasn't looking to get paid an hourly wage, she would just keep her tips for the evening. She was fuck'n perfect for us considering our current situation, so I quickly jumped on that band wagon.

Our place was so rough and tough that it would have put that movie 'Road house' to shame. The band that played here were friends of Jacob's, they called themselves 'The Covenant.' They mostly played death metal and there was no cage protecting them, like in the movie. If they sucked, the regulars would let them know it, by throwing their beer bottles or glasses at them. One time, Sam, one of our regulars, walked up on stage and pissed on it, just to prove a point. It got so heated that I ended up with a black eye before the police showed up…..like I said, rough and tough.

"Bella, did you hear what I said?" Jacob's disgusting voice yelled out.

I shook my head from side to side."Sorry what was that?"

"Did you get the float ready for tonight?" He breathed down on me, forcing me to hold back the vomit that threatened to spew from my mouth.

I looked down at the register and realized that I was in such a fuck'n daze that I still had a pile of twenties in my hand.

"No, I'll be just a few more minutes," I spit, turning around to face the surface of the bar and started to count out the stack of twenty's.

Jacob was an impatient bastard on most days, but even I couldn't fault him for being nervous, that everything was just right for this evening's affair. He stood there hovering over me like a fuck'n watch dog.

"I'll have it ready." I huffed as his eyes lidded in lust.

"You know I could fuck you right over the bar." He, whispered into my ear.

_Oh please stop…I don't want to spew._

"And what would that accomplish?" I glared at him.

"You know you're a fuck'n cock tease. Bella, you're my wife and you have certain obligations to fulfill." He, shot out.

"Well, why don't you go fuck one of your whores? I'm sure they can look after that for you." I chuckled, pointing at his so called cock.

"I wouldn't have to fuck them, if you would put out once in a while." He stated, matter-of-factly before storming off towards the office.

I slammed down the money and then started to laugh hysterically. Fuck we're fucked up. How the hell did we ever make it this far? Jacob suggested therapy once and I told him, that we were so far gone, that the psychiatric shrink would have probably signed the divorce papers himself. The fucker even laughed along with me and agreed. It was the first time we agreed on anything, but still he wouldn't divorce me and told me that if I even so much as thought about going behind his back, he would ruin me. I wasn't scared of Jacob by no means. Even his beatings didn't terrify me….as sick as it seemed, they showed me some form of affection towards me…if that makes any sense at all? But it was the fact that my own family would be ruined by whatever bullshit Jacob would spread across town about me.

When the doors were finally opened to Izzy's…Yeah a short formation of my name Isabella….that Jacob called me…fuck I hated it. My father called me Bells. Most of the people in town called me Bella, but Jacob had to have his own pet name for me. I guess in some ways, Izzy suited the place and the way I felt about my life. It too was going down the toilet, like my own sad little so called life. Yep, she and I were one and even though I would never tell Jacob, I loved the damn place. The dream I had for her when we opened was still alive in me, but the money situation, was slowly dwindling down the flames I had for her. Story of my life right? The roof was leaking in random places, whenever the tenets upstairs would have a shower or bath, and the blue paint was blistering and peeling from all the water damage. Our blue and yellow nineteen hundred carpeting, was completely ruined and my god the tables and chairs were almost nonexistent, due to all the bar fights that took place. Yet another problem I had this evening.

"Alice, could you please go to the basement and see if we have anymore tables and chairs." I hollered out, greeting the five regulars at the door.

She took off in search of something I knew didn't exist. How the hell was I going to seat two hundred people?

"Jacob!" I screamed, to get no damn reply.

I stormed off towards the office, telling the older gentleman who was now demanding a rye and coke, that I would just be a minute. When I swung the door open, low and behold Jacob had Jessica's legs wrapped around his shoulders, while he ate her out. She screamed of course trying to cover herself up, placing her head in her hands red as a fuck'n tomato.

"Oh no worries sweet heart, by all means continue on. Just don't think he's going to pay for it, because he's a broke motherfucker. When you're done dipping your cock, could you please help me out here!" I screamed, slamming the door and hightailed it towards the bar.

"God, damn men, their all the fuck'n same." I mumbled under my breath as I came to the front of the bar.

"Excuse me Miss." A man's voice irritated me.

"Yeah…Yeah a rye and coke, I fuck'n got it alright! Just give me a few minutes." I yelled as I opened the cash register to count out the float, that I hadn't managed to get together this morning.

"Hum, Miss….I don't think that you understand." The man practically whispered, which pissed me off further. What the hell was wrong with this guy?

I turned around poured the shot of rye, added the coke and slapped it down on the bar, without even looking up at him. "There's you're fuck'n rye and coke…that-ill be five dollars." I huffed out.

"Alright, but I didn't want a rye and coke." He stated.

_Oh no you don't…..He wasn't about to waste my rye, not in my damn bar._

"Listen. you're going to pay for that…" I half turned while I spoke, and when I spotted the man, I nearly fell to my knees to warship, the dirty ass ground on which he stood.

He was tall, at least six foot give or take….he had to have stood at least three feet more than me. I bet he could wrap my legs around his waist and move me up and down on his shaft, without even breaking a sweat. His long bronzy locks wiped out in every direction, they had an 'I just got laid' sway about them and man, I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to run my fingers through his tangled up mane. He was wearing a black dress shirt, black dress pants and a white tie. I noticed that his black leather jacket was lying across the top of my bar…..Did I mention I love me some leather?

I suddenly felt horrible, knowing that his coat would be completely stained. His shoulder's were broad, his lips lusciously pouted, his jaw line looked as though it was carved of stone…but what nearly made me rip off my panties and tell him to fuck me right where we stood, was his damn green eyes. I could have gotten lost in them completely.

My womanhood screamed out for him to touch me….to kiss me with his soft looking lips…oh how I wanted to feel them. I was standing there not saying anything when he smiled…_.oh now he had gone and done it! I was so going to rape this man._ He half smirked, his eyes half closed….the smug little bastard was getting a thrill out of this.

"I'm sorry what do you want?" I huffed out.

I turned around praying to god that I wasn't red faced and bit down on my lower lip chanting…please say me on all fours….please…..please…..I've been a good girl….please…..

"Hum, yes well…I do believe that I booked this place for two hundred people." He eyed me.

_Shit….shit….shit…_

"Right…. you are?" I eyed him, smiling this time.

Fuck, I didn't want to send him over the hills running, we needed his money…..and well after getting a look at him….I needed him in more ways than one.

"Edward….Edward Cullen." He confirmed giving me that god damn smile of his again, as he extended his hand for me to shake.

Was it perverted of me to notice how long and lean his fingers were? How big his palm was, how soft his grip was, when he shook my hand? I walked around the bar, to properly introduce myself, and getting a little look see wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Hello Edward, I'm Bella….I'm the owner of this place. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding there…the rye and coke is on the house." I smiled up at him.

I stole a quick little look and damn, by the look of his tight fitting dress pants, he was indeed well in doubt….Momma just found a brand new toy to play with….silver bullet who?

He shifted uncomfortably, and then smiled taking a seat at the bar. I was momentarily lost for words, he just smiled and sat at the bar, ignoring me all together. What the hell was I doing anyways; I was a married woman for Christ sakes? I walked around to the other side of the bar and continued to count out the float, when the old fucker started hollering again.

"Yeah Jesus, I'll be right there!" I screamed back, heading for the bottle of rye and then retrieved a glass from under the bar.

"Seems like a busy joint!" Edward whispered.

"Sorry you gotta speak up if you expect me to hear you!" I hollered, pointing to the jukebox. I could hear him alright, but I loved me, the sound of his, velvety smooth, orgasmic voice.

His face went all red, and that shit was adorable. I walked out from behind the bar, drink in hand and winked at him. He grinned shyly and that hot ass sexy shit, had my center moistening. I don't know what the hell I was doing, Jacob was in the back fucking Jessica and he could come out at anytime, but hell this man had taken over me in every way possible.

I leaned over the small table, propping my ass into the air and watched Edward out of the corner of my eye, he was getting a good eye full and by the look on his face and his head tilt, he liked what he saw.

I was enjoying making him foam at the mouth, until I heard Jacob's deep voice booming, "You like what you see?" He hollered as I watched Edward turn to him with an embarrassed look on his face. "That's my fuck'n wife man!" He screamed, as he grabbed Edward's collar.

I ran as fast as I could grabbing, Jacob's arm, "This is Edward Cullen!" I screamed.

"I don't give a fuck who he is!" He hollered back.

"He's the Cullen that booked Izzy's tonight!" I huffed as Jacob's tensed up face smoothed out again.

I knew that it sent him into a fit of rage, if another man so much as looked at me, but if money was concerned, he just let that shit go, "I'm sorry man." He straightened out Edward's shirt as Edward smiled and said, "No worries, just a big misunderstanding." Edward stood from the bar and started to head for the front door.

"Smooth move, jack ass!" I huffed as I ran after Edward.

"Wait, I'm sorry Jacob is an asshole." I chuckled trying to catch my breath, damn this man had some long ass legs, and I had to practically run to catch up with him.

"Your husband is just protective, I get it." He smiled.

"No, that man is just my husband on paper," I blurted out as Edward eyed me. "I mean…no he's just an asshole. I hope that his rude behavior doesn't scare you off from having your banquette here." I eyed him hoping that I would see him again, I could give two shits about the money now. I just wanted to see him again.

He gave me a crocked little grin before; he placed his right hand gently to the side of my face. That shit shocked me, but it felt so good, that I closed my eyes on the contact. "No worries Love, I'm the guest of honor, they'll have it where I want it." He whispered as I opened my eyes to look at him. He was smiling as he removed his hand from my face. It was quick and probably nothing to read into but damn did his touch feel good.

"I'm sorry, that was inappropriate of me, but you're a women who should be touched and you seem like you seldom do." He placed his hands as his sides as he looked over me, towards the bar.

I didn't have to have eyes in the back of my head, to know that Jacob was probably watching us and giving Edward the death stare.

"Am I that obvious?" I chuckled.

He smiled one last time and walked right out the front door of Izzy's. Damn, that could have possibly been the father of my children and I just let him walk out the fuck'n door. One touch…one touch that's all it took for me to melt, moisten and want him.

**Edward's Point Of View**

My father Carlisle was stepping down as CEO of Cullen & Sons, and wanted me to take my rightful place at the head of the table, so to speak. I had been waiting for this day for nearly fifteen years. My father was a hard ass and never fed me with a silver spoon. We had lots of money, but if I wanted to run the business one day, I needed to understand how business was handled.

I went to University for five years, studying business and when I graduated my father made me work my way up from the bottom. My brother Jasper on the other hand, wasn't interested in flipping real estate. What we did was take rundown buildings; fixed them up cheep, and sold them for much more than they were worth. Ultimately Jasper thought we were ripping people off and he wanted no part in it. I on the other hand was born for this, I had no kids, no girl friend and at the age of twenty five all that mattered to me, was money. Now I was thirty five, still no wife, kids and no girlfriend to share my money with. All that my life consisted of, was this damn company.

My priorities changed as I got older, I guess I just matured or some shit like that, but all the same. I couldn't just walk out the door and leave my father's company to James. James was an old University buddy of mine, that wanted a job and I gave him one. He had moved up in ranks and was just below me. If I walked out on the old man, James would take my place. Don't get me wrong I knew that James could handle the job. It was just that he was more interested in spending his money at strip clubs and on prostitutes, which in turn would give my father's company a bad rap….not to mention, it was called Cullen & Sons…not Cullen and James.

As my father explained to me, that now was the time for me to take his place, I panicked. I wasn't at all ready to fill his shoes. He went on and on about how mature and business savvy I was and that he knew I would do more for his company, then he could have ever done. I immediately stayed focused on the mature part of his speech when he went on to ask, where I wanted to have the celebration. I remembered a bar in Forks, that would send shivers up and down my father's spine, and make him second guess my maturity level, possibly buying me five more years, of not having to wear the crown.

The man on the phone; Jacob was shocked, that I wanted to have this class of people step foot into his bar, but he was ecstatic when I promised him that we would throw more money into his bar then he would know what to do with. He told me it would cost me eight hundred dollars, to book the whole place and I in turn told him, that I would pay three thousand dollars to hold, only two hundred people and that I didn't want him to close the bar down on my behalf. Giving him some line of how I didn't want him to lose his regular customers. In truth I wanted my father and his colleges to see the rough atmosphere and run for the hills.

Jasper played in this band called 'The Covenant' and was friends with Jacob. I had been in Izzy's just once, to watch Jasper play and once I got a look at the place, I chugged down my beer and ran right out the front door. This place was as rough as they come, in fact the last time I was there this big biker looking fellow, smashed a beer bottle over another man's head. What was more shocking, was that the man stood and shook the bikers hand, thanking him for putting him in his place.

Today I went to Izzy's making sure the arrangements were all taken care of, but what I wasn't expecting was for this place to have such a beauty as Bella. I could tell that she had come from the other side of the tracks, not at all in my league, but I didn't give two shits, if she had money.

Most women would blush and run from me, but not this one. This one had a wicked ass tongue on her and I felt the need to wash it out with my own. Her dirty repulsive behavior had me sweating. I had never come into contact with such a…..a tough bitch before, and god help me I was hard as hell.

Her long mahogany brown hair, with just a hint of red highlights had me wanting to sniff it; I bet she smelled like strawberries. The dark makeup she wore, on some would have looked like a prostitute, but on her, she looked mysterious and forced me to shift awkwardly on my stool. Her chocolate brown eyes were deep, sorrowful and lacked meaning. I knew that she was a women scorn just by one look and that shit was a damn shame, whoever he was, he didn't deserve a beauty of this magnitude. But what sucked me in were those perfect plump, juicy red lips of hers…I bet they would look sexy as hell wrapped around my cock.

"Seems like a busy joint!" I blurted out trying to gain her attention.

"Sorry you gotta speak up, if you expect me to hear you!" She hollered, pointing to the jukebox.

Smooth move, god I was lame. Why couldn't I just get in there take what I wanted and be done with it? Jasper always told me that I took my job everywhere with me, and that I was already an old man.

"Live a little…get into trouble once in a while." He would scold me.

Bella smiled at me and I watched her intently as she propped her ass up into the air, as she finally served the old bastard his rye and coke….I was grinning from ear to ear, taking in the ass, that should have been worshiped by the gods or me….she could scream out god….call me god and I wouldn't mind.

I felt someone grab me by the collar. At first I was getting ready, to tell the large muscular man to fuck off….I thought he was a body guard, until he asked me if I like what I saw and informed me that Bella was his wife. She came to my defense explaining who I was and her husband Jacob removed his hands from my throat.

I felt like a fuck'n idiot, here I was for the first time in years, ready to take a leap of faith, to live a little as my brother had stated and I was hitting on the owners wife. I felt like a complete ass and wished, that he would have punched me in the face just to teach me fucking a lesson.

When Jacob apologized to me, I couldn't believe it, and figured that they must have needed the money really bad, because if I had something as sexy as Bella on my arm, I wouldn't have apologized for my behavior.

I told him something lame like, this was all just a big misunderstanding and took my leave from the bar, before everything got all out of hand…_eyes on the prize Edward; you want your father to change his mind from stepping down. If you blow this place you will be swamped with paper work for the rest of your life._

I was momentarily, chuckling internally, at how lame my life had become, when Bella ran after me. She was so beautiful, rambling on about how her husband was an asshole and she looked desperate to keep me interested in the bar, but what shocked me was when she let it slip that Jacob was only her husband on paper. It was as though she was begging for me to wisp her up into my arms and provide a better life for her. It was sad and I felt sorry for her, but god help me, I wanted to do that for her. I had no god damn idea what this women's sway was over me, but I loved it.

I was shocked at how intellectual she was, talking earlier she was cussing up a storm and now the business aspect in her had come out. She didn't deserve to run a place like this; she should have been running a five star hotel or something like that. I couldn't help myself I placed my hand gently to the side of her face and was well rewarded, with the soft creamy texture of her skin. Fuck this woman was perfect and her husband didn't know what the hell he had.

"No worries Love, I'm the guest of honor, they'll have it where I want it." I whispered.

She closed her eyes as my hand made contact and when she opened them, I smiled and removed my hand from her face.

"I'm sorry that was inappropriate of me, but you're a women who should be touched and you seem like you seldom do." I spewed out from my mouth once again placing myself in the middle of a married couple, praying like hell she would take my hand and leave this place with me.

I placed my hands at my side looking over her shoulder to see her husband glaring at me, as he washed a glass. He was pissed and I knew that by the look in his eyes, that if I didn't soon leave on my own, I would be leaving on a stretcher.

"Am I that obvious?" She chuckled bringing my eyes back to her now flushed face.

That shit was adorable, and I couldn't help but smile. I didn't say anything to her, I just smiled like a fuck'n chump and walked out the front door. The moment I stood beside my silver Aston Martin DBS 2011, I felt like a fuck'n tool. Not only does my attire, my car and everything else about me, not fit in, in this little hick as town, but I was so wrong in my assumption earlier…..Bella wasn't out of my league I was out of hers…..What the hell would a women like that want with some rich asshole like me?

I was about to get into my car, when I watched her run down the front steps. I slammed the door in a fit of lust, praying like hell she would just leap into my arms and ran around the back of the car. She slammed right into my chest and my arms instinctively wrapped around her.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, I'm such a klutz." She blushed, as she pushed against my hold.

I was staring down at her, watching as her forearms rested on my abdomen and her fists balled against me chest. Her shy smile made me lean in…what the hell was I doing? As I leaned in closer she pulled back and held up my coat.

"You forgot your coat." She whispered.

I let go of her immediately, trying my best to straighten out myself, "Thank you." I nodded, clearing out my throat as I took my leather jacket from her.

"No worries." She shrugged and headed back into the bar.

I turned around and practically threw myself into my car, and speed off as she watched me from the doorway of her place.

The entire day, I walked around the office in a complete Bella daze. All I wanted was to see her again. Everyone kept slapping me on the shoulder, congratulating me on my success. It all felt so phony. These people hated me and now they would be working under me…damn suck asses. Even though I had worked for it, I still didn't feel like I deserved it….I would rather run that dive with Bella, then work here where everything was so falsified.

I knew that my father and his colleagues, would be dressed in business attire, not only because we were all heading there once the office was closed but also because this was what they were….business always business.

I on the other hand decided that I was going with a dark pair of denim jeans, my biker boots and a tight red top, paired nicely with my black leather coat, that I noticed Bella loved….Bella I sighed…..I couldn't wait to see her again.

The moment I pulled up to Izzy's I noted all the limos and expensive looking vehicles, alongside all the Harleys….it was amusing…..so out of character for this street. I laughed internally knowing that some of these poor saps, would end up having their hubcaps stolen, by the time they had even taken a sip of whatever expensive drink they had in their hands.

When I walked in, Jaspers band was rocking out, some high pitched wailing, metal song and all my father colleagues were awkwardly trying to listen. Bella had place a bunch of tables together and put a table cloth over them. I assumed she was trying to make the place look, just a little bit classy.

I was amazed at how clean the place looked. Not at all what I had hoped for, but she had went all out for this one. Even though her efforts wouldn't have been noticed by all of my, fellow co-workers, they were noticed by me.

I sucked in a deep breath and walked over to the table where my father stood and shook his hand. He didn't believe in hugs around business associates, he said it made us look weak. I smiled at them all as they congratulated me and then spotted Bella behind the bar, arguing with Jacob. I suddenly felt angry that he would scream at her like that, in front of all these people. It was so heated that we could still hear them over the noise of the band.

As I ventured over to the bar, Bella spotted me and smiled, "Well guest of honor, what can I get for you?" She smiled.

"Um maybe one of those special, Rye and cokes of yours." I smiled back as she nodded and went to get me my drink.

I hated Rye, but not today…today I loved it because it was the farthest bottle on the shelf and when she reached, I got an eye full of ass…_.Yeah I was a sly motherfucker._

"Here yah go!" She hollered, giving me a little wink.

I smiled, placed a twenty on the counter and walked away.

"Hey it's only five, and don't you want your change?" She yelled over the music.

"Nah you keep it." I smiled and walked back over to our table.

The night went over smoothly; in fact my father loved the damn place, so much so that he asked Bella what year it was built in. She answered him telling him that it was built in 1901. My father was ecstatic after she revealed, that she had a picture of the place, when a horse and carriage was the only means of transportation. He went all ape shit and begged her to bring it up, so that he and his colleagues could have a look at it.

When she returned with the old photograph, that she had blown up and framed, she informed us all that it was in fact an old brothel. My father's eyes were sparkling when she continued to state that the door on the far left had its original men's entrance sign, hanging above the door. They all got up wanting to witness such an antique. As we looked up at it she explained that back in those times a woman couldn't come into the men's section, without being escorted by a man.

I listened intently to her history lesson, but it wasn't the knowledge of the place that made smile as she told the tail. It was the fact that I could see in her eyes, how much she loved this place and how devoted she was to it. She had impressed my father so much that he offered to buy it from her. She told him that Izzy's wasn't for sale, just yet and winked at him. The old man even blushed. She asked if she were to sell it, what he thought her dive might go for. He told her at least two hundred thousand and her mouth dropped open. I knew that he was taking her for a ride, given the history lesson and all. Normally I didn't interfere in my father's business, but for some reason, I couldn't stand back and watch as she got taken for a ride.

"In my opinion, I wouldn't take less than one million. If you let me, I could find you a buyer who would likely pay more….when you're ready to sell of course." I smiled as my father gave me a stern look of warning.

"Well Bella my dear, thank you so much for your hospitality. It's getting late, and I'm afraid that office hours come early." My father politely thanked her and started to head for the door, me hot on his heels.

"What the hell was that?" He grunted.

"The poor woman is in some financial debt and you know as much as I do, that this place would easily make us five million, we need to be fare." I huffed back as he eyed me contently.

"You like her?" He asked

"She's married." I confirmed.

"But you like her all the same and she doesn't look like, she's happily married to me." He smiled, nodding his chin in the direction of the bar.

I looked over my shoulder to note Bella, watching me contently.

"What's gotten into you, you normally would scowl at me, for this kind of behavior?" I asked.

"Um what will be will be? You're a smart boy…I raised you remember? She seems like she could take you down a few notches and well son, I just want you to be happy…..Don't misunderstand me….you are to be a gentleman and respect her wishes, even if that means she tells you to get lost…you understand me?" He warned.

"Yes." I smiled.

"Are you coming?" He asked.

"Um no, I think I'll stay a while and help them clean up." I explained clearing out my throat.

My father nodded and reminded me to behave myself. As I walked back towards the bar, Jasper nodded as he tore apart his drum set. I gave him a little chin nod in return and then over heard the heated argument that Bella and Jacob were having. I stood at the bar as he called her a whore, among many other profanities, and clutched my hands onto the counter top.

"Fuck you Jake…you're eating out Jessica in the office, and I'm the fuck'n whore? Fuck you!" She screamed.

As she started to appear before me, Jacob took hold of her arm, pulling her back in front of him, raised his arm and smacked her right across the face. I jumped from my stool and ran around to the other side of the bar as he continued to smack at her. She had fallen to the floor, crouched in a fetal position as she covered her head with her hands, when I caught his arm in mid swing. Jacob turned around and told me to mind my own business, and I told him that I was making it my business. He was furious that I had interfered and before I knew it, my face had received the other end of his powerful blow.

I allowed it; I deserved it, but was happy as shit that he was taking his brute strength out on me, rather than on Bella. Jasper came running and pulled Jacob off of me and told him to go cool off. Of course Jasper gave me hell, telling me that Jacob wasn't the type of man to mess with, and that the least I could have done was fight back….that because I was his brother I made him look like a pansy. I shrugged it off and helped Bella to her feet, asking her if she was alright.

"God damn ass hole!" She screamed heading to the ice machine and place some cubes in an old dirty bar towel.

The bar was now closed, Jacob had stormed off and Jasper's band along with Jasper were now long gone. Bella and I were all alone locked up in Izzy's. I took my jacket off and placed it down onto the bar before taking off my shirt and placing ice cubes in it. Bella eyed me as I removed the dirty rag from her swollen face and replaced it with my t-shirt.

"You shouldn't have something, so dirty on your face." I smiled.

"Wow!" Was her reply.

"What?" I huffed out a smile.

"You're beautiful." She blushed.

I lowered my t-shit from her face looking adoringly, into those chocolate brown eyes of hers. She was stunningly perfect and in spite of all the hicks, yokels, drunks and her asshole of a husband, I had a great evening and I didn't want to do anything to ruin that, but her heavy lidded lust filled eyes had captivated me. I swallowed loudly as I leaned in, my heart was beating rapidly as her mouth slightly parted and she closed her eyes, readying herself for the kiss. However I pussed out, I couldn't do it. I was a gentlemen and as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't…this was wrong so wrong….I needed to get the hell out of here.

"Um right well, I better get going." I turned for the door when she grabbed my arm.

"Look, keep the shirt…I ah…I can't do this…you're a married women…a very attractive married women, but married." I rambled running my fingers through my hair awkwardly as she smiled timidly.

"Mr. Cullen." She started.

"Please…call me Edward." I begged as she nodded a crocked little grin.

"Edward…I just wanted to say thank you for tonight. I mean the business…the offer to sell this dive," She chuckled, waving her free hand in the air, while the other still clutched my ice filled t-shirt to the side of her face, "to protecting me from Jacob." She sighed.

"You're welcome." I smiled, as she went to return my shirt, "No you keep it, a little reminder of me." I grinned, as I watched her smile reach her beautiful brown eyes. "Wow, how beautiful…a genuine smile." I placed my hand over my heart as she slapped at me with her free hand.

"Please, have a drink with me before you go?" She asked as I had to fight back the 'fuck'n right' smile I had going on.

She poured us both a shot of rye and took a seat on the bar stool next to me, tapping her glass from mine, "Here's to meeting new people." She grinned and chugged that shot back like a champ, "To new people." I sang along and downed the drink.

As I fought back the urge to spit it back into my glass…that shit was awful…she rambled on about her marital madness, and as much as I wanted her to just shut the hell up and let me kiss those tender soft lips of hers I just couldn't. I knew that she was just looking for a shoulder to cry on….a lap to dump all her baggage onto. I was shocked to find out that she had taken business as well in College. This intrigued me.

We talked until the sun rose and peered through the window, directly onto my face. "Well, I guess I better get going." I sighed as she nodded and hopped off of her stool.

Walking towards the front door was the toughest part; as much as I knew I had to, I didn't want to leave her side.

"Edward," She called and I turned abruptly around, smacking right into her, "I….um..." She stumbled for the words as she stood up onto her toes and placed a gentle peck to my lips, "I…. god that was so wrong…I've never…I mean Jacob does it all the time…but I never..." She trailed on as I pulled her in tighter and kissed her lips hard, with greed.

She moaned into my mouth as our tongues fought for dominance. I couldn't remember the last time I had a really good lay. I mean, not just a quick poke in the office, or a bad blow in the back seat of my car. An honest to goodness fuck, with someone who I remotely fancied. Clearly I wasn't in my element. This was a women who was an emotional wreak and I didn't want to hurt her further. I had only ever had one rule and that was that I would never sleep with a woman who was married, but my god all my protective barriers were down and long gone, just by one single kiss.

I mean Jacob was a real piece of work, but he was still her husband and I should respect at least that much. But still my tongue wove in and out of her mouth, with a hungry desire. As I broke the kiss, struggling with my own inner demons, she was glowing with giddiness and ready to throw her life away, on me…some damn chump…..I couldn't allow this to go any further, then it had already.

I looked down at her and in that moment I noticed that the top three buttons were undone on her blue silk top, exposing the soft milky skin of her cleavage. Her jeans were tight as hell and the black pumps she wore made her legs look as though they went on for miles. Her attire was simple, yet beautiful and it was obvious that she didn't belong in a place like this, but miserable or not, she was still with that bozo.

"I know this is crazy, but from the moment I saw you, I knew you would be someone I could trust, someone who would understand. Would you help me? Give me one last chance to be single?" She smiled shyly, biting down onto her bottom plump lip.

Her eyes were dark, in longing as she waited for my reply. The question of whether I should or shouldn't was now the last thing on my mind. She stood straight, shoulders back like she was on a mission and walked towards me. Her hand reached out nervously and ran up and down the side of my face. Before I could stop her, or tell her no, she had her lips pressed against mine again. In that instant, the one rule I had lived by was thrown right out the window, and my hand was now trailing through her, long dark locks, and down onto the small of her back.

Her small hands found their way under my leather jacket, running down my chest. She was really beautiful. My moral objections seemed like a distant memory, as she flicked her tongue over my nipple and sucked gently. My hands ghosted along the silkiness of her blouse, until my thumbs glided across her nipples. I smiled as they hardened under my touch. It had really been too long.

I teased her tight flesh and ran my tongue down her neck. She smelled like honey dew with a hint of watermelon and cigarette smoke.

Her hands moved to my belt buckle and the moment my pants hit the floor she was on her knees, pressing her cherry red lips, against my swollen knob. I tried to ignore the fact that her husband, who was just upstairs, could walk in on a moment's notice and crush me with his bare hands.

Her tongue swirled expertly around my cock and I tried not to moan out loud…but she was making it too damn hard. She pushed me deep into her throat, expertly several times before she stood up. Without a word, she grabbed my hand and placed it onto the waist band of her jeans. I grunted lifting her up onto the surface of the bar and ripped them off of her, exposing her black laced panties.

What a sight I had before me, she was absolutely perfect. She placed my hand onto her panties slowly, and the moment I had touched her warm center, I moaned out. She was wetter than I thought she would be, clearly not too concerned about her husband. I let her lead my fingers over her slippery flesh. Her clit was hard under my middle finger.

Bella pressed her face into my neck, kissing and licking as she moaned quietly. I let a finger slip inside her wet pussy and as I pushed deeper inside, she rolled her hips against my palm, rubbing her clit into me. She moaned against my skin, her teeth nipping at my neck as I continued to pleasure her un-forbidden fruit.

Reluctantly, I removed my hand from her panties as she watched me lick my fingers clean, before she turned around onto all fours, on the top of the bar. I stroked myself, spitting into the palm of my hand as she pulled her black panties down, allowing them to fall to the floor.

I pushed her forward a little, enjoying the view, of the firm ass that was in front of me. As she turned to look at me, a smile shone on her face. The same smile that she had given me earlier, the one that light up her face.

"Please, I need this." Her voice was so sweet.

I ran my hand up her thigh, feeling her soft velvety skin, before placing her swollen lips in my hand. As much as I wanted to fuck her like this, so animalistic, I just couldn't. I jumped up onto the bar and placed her gently onto her back. She needed to feel appreciated, appraised for the beauty that she was, not taken like some common whore…she was far from that….and I knew it.

I looked her directly in the eye, as I asked her if she was sure, "Yes…please…..I want you Edward." She whispered.

I nudged the head of my cock gently into her swollen pussy, and moaned contently. She was so warm, wet and tight. As I moved deeper inside her, I thought it was a shame that a girl like this, was married to a barbaric asshole like that. She pushed back slowly onto my cock, muffling her moans with her own hand and soon her body was rocking onto me hard. I held her curvy hips in my hands, trying not to think about anything but her.

I slipped one hand between us and started stroking her clit in small circles. She went wild, thrashing against the bar. We were both struggling to be quiet as she slammed her pelvises back on me, harder and faster, a few stray moans escaping her lips. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer and I didn't want to take the only orgasm, I was sure she had, had in months from her. She lowered her hand over mine, pushing my fingers harder onto her clit. Her body started to shake as I felt her pussy clamp around me. That was all I could handle and went off engulfing her with my seed.

"Oh! Fuck!" I cried out, as her body continued to buck back into me, milking me for everything I had to give, until she was spent. We collapsed on the bar, panting, flushed and sweaty.

After a few moments, Bella jumped down from the bar and got dressed silently. She grabbed the bottle of Rye and poured us a quick shot. I sipped at mine, while she downed hers.

"Thank you." She smiled and as I went to talk, she cut me off, "I'm not a whore. I don't do this sort of thing, and well, it is what it is. Don't worry about calling me, I'm not a booty call and that….that can't happen again…..If Jacob ever found out…." She trailed on while I hoped from the bar, wrapping her in my arms.

"That was fantastic and I would love to do it again. Not because your some booty call, but because…..well damn what do I say here Bella?...Um…Because that was the best lay I've ever had and I think you've just ruined me…..I know that you're married and so I won't pursue you, but here is my card in case you change your mind." I smiled retrieving my business card from my coat pocket.

Once I was dressed, my chest still bare under my leather coat, I turned to her worried expression, "What is it Love?" I smiled softly moving stray hairs from her face.

"No one can know Edward." Her eyes pleaded with me.

"Shh, no one will know Love. I promise you that." I grinned.

She smiled in return and told me that I better get out of here, before Jacob came down, to get the bar set up for the morning customers. I looked to the clock and realized, that it was after nine already. I was late as hell for work and was sure that I was going to get it. Taking a punch in the face from Jacob, for fucking his wife, on his bar, would have probably been easier to deal with, than my father's wrath.

I kissed her one last time passionately, internally wishing that this wouldn't be our last kiss and walked out that door.

She wasn't mine. I didn't even know her, but my one rule had been broken, and for no other reason than because she had asked me to. She had gotten to me, more than anyone ever had.

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** I hope you loved my messed up tail…..and if you did show me the love and hit review…..Until next time…FF….April**


	2. Chapter 2 Fragile & Broken

**Chapter Two**

**Fragile & Broken

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**A/N: Sorry for the wait on the chapter readers! I'm still writing Rise as well.**

**Huge thank you to all those who read and reviewed. It's because of your love, that I have continued on with this story. Hope I don't disappoint.**

**Warning, disturbing behavior, vulgar language as well as a very long and detailed lemon. **

**Huge shout out to my Beta Dee…who is just simply put awesome!**

**Hugs and kisses to all my Twitter family, who pimped MP out ;)**

**And this chapter was inspired by my dear friend KINK! You naughty ass women! Love yeah babe.**

**My fuck-tabulas husband of course! **

**S.M owns all things Twilight…..Happy reading all….April

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**Bella's Point Of View**

I had spent a good part of three weeks, feeling guilty for what I had done to Jacob. I never acted like this before, so fuck'n reckless. Even though Jacob was nothing but a piece of dog shit on a side walk, that had been there for a while, white, decomposing and hard as hell, he was still my husband and the guilt was eating me alive.

A part of me wanted to scream from the roof top, in utter fuck'n bliss, for the fuck-tabulas fuck Edward had given me, whereas the other part of me wanted to crawl in a fuck'n hole and never see the light of day again. But still the remembrance of that night was everywhere I looked.

"Are you going to get your lazy ass out of bed, and make me breakfast." Jacob hollered at me, from the doorway of our bedroom.

I groaned, pulling the blankets over my head, "I said get the fuck up!" He screamed, pulling the blankets off of me.

"Fuck off Jake! I'm tired!" I screamed back, tugging the covers back over myself.

Within a matter of minutes, Jake had grabbed a hold of me and threw me down onto the floor. I jumped up onto my feet quickly and was standing chest to chest with him, starring him down.

"I'm not your fuck'n maid!" I screamed at him, which rewarded me with a slap across the face.

I stood there holding my face as tears pooled in the corners of my eyes.

"That's right, I'm the fuck'n boss around here…..get my fuck'n breakfast on the table in twenty minutes, or you'll receive the back of my left hand next!" He spat, as he stormed off out of the room.

How the hell did my life turn into this? Jake was every girls dream and for whatever reason, he had turned into my worst god damn nightmare. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried. I always started to, but not one single drop ever fell from my eyes. I guess I didn't want to give him the self-satisfaction that he had gotten to me.

I just took what life had dealt me and come to terms with the fact, that this was as good as it was ever going to get for me. I pulled on my jeans from the bedroom floor, threw on a t-shirt and stormed out of the bedroom. The fucker was sitting at the kitchen table, fork in hand waiting for me to place his god damn breakfast in front of him.

I charged over to the kitchen cupboard, grabbed a bowl and a box of fuck'n cheerio's, and slammed them down in front of him. He eyed the fork in his hands and I chuckled as I headed towards the shower….let's see him eat that with a fuck'n fork…lazy asshole probably won't even get up for the spoon.

When I was finished getting ready and walked back into the kitchen, I was rewarded by the sight of milk running down Jacob's muscular chest. The bastard was leaning against the kitchen counter sipping the milk from his bowl….he's a god damn pig.

I pulled on my 'shit kickers,' my steel toe work boots, in a hurry and headed down the small hallway towards the front door.

"Where the hell are you going?" Jacob hollered from the kitchen as my hand had only just now, touched the door handle.

"I have paperwork to do before the bar opens." I hollered back and left the apartment.

The moment I pressed the security code on the pad and turned on the lights, all I saw was Edward and I fucking on top of the bar. I sighed, thinking about how soft his hands were. Jacob's were always so rough from all beatings he placed on our, 'out of hand' customers and of course, his tinkering with his cars.

Those fucking cars, fuck, the god damn garage was covered in pieces of scrap metal if you'd asked me. We would never have the money he needed to fix them up and get them on the road again…..it was a waste of effort and looked like a god damn junk yard, but it damn well kept him out of my hair, long enough so that I could run this fuck'n place.

I took in a large breath and headed towards the bar. The moment I was standing directly behind it all I wanted was, Edward lying on top of it with maraschino cherries in his mouth. I shook my head I was going fucking crazy. How could one man, one night of out of this world sex, make me feel this way? I'll tell yeah, because that mother was fuck'n packing and I've never had an earth shattering, fucking orgasm, like that... in all my life.

I placed my hand into my back jean pocket and pulled out his business card, which had been burning a hole in my pocket ever since he gave it to me. I had no idea why I hadn't thrown it out, this was stupid. If Jake ever found it, all hell would break lose, but still I couldn't fuck'n throw it away.

I stood over the garbage can, card in hand shaking like a fuck'n leave. It was like crack….I didn't want to part with it. It had become my only form of escape from this hell hole, I called my life and yet if I hung onto it, my life would fuck'n change….was I ready for that? For Jake to beat the living shit out of me….to end my marriage for someone who would probably fuck me and leave me?

I don't know what the hell I thought was going to happen. Edward hadn't called which both pissed me the fuck off and hurt me slightly. It was my own fault of course, I told him that we were never going to have…..fucking monsoon gushing, best I've ever fuck'n had fucking ever again. Problem was I couldn't stop thinking about him and his glorious long thick ass cock. I was like a fuck'n dog in heat, a love sick puppy, but my fucking god, he had turned me inside out and upside down literally….I was a complete fucking mess.

"What's that?" Jacob's, deep voice scared the hell out of me.

"Oh this," I held up the card, "That Edward, guy he um…left it here, in case we changed our minds and wanted to sell the joint." I sort of lied…..I was going to hell!

"We'll, we're not selling this place, to that fucker!" He screamed and ripped the card to shreds right before my very eyes.

As the small pieces of paper fell towards the garbage, I wanted to get on my hands and knees and tape that shit together, but Jacob had done me a favor. It was like trying to quit smoking cold turkey. It never worked and within the hour you had smoked an entire pack…..but if you were scared straight, you'd never pick up a cigarette again….now I wanted a smoke.

The day went smoothly, which surprised the hell out of me and often when these miraculous days happened, the night was hell. I ran upstairs to change and grab something to eat. Jake always demanded that I wear something a little more revealing as night had fallen upon us as well as paint myself up like one of his little whores.

As much as he hated men looking at me, he loved money more and when I wore this skanky ass shit, we brought in more doe. Here I was condoning him for fucking his whores but I was letting him turn me into one...all for the sake of a few tips….Fuck he was my pimp.

I shook my head as I applied some red lipstick and headed back downstairs. Living above Izzy's, had its ups and downs. We didn't have to worry about commuting to work every day, literally I crawled out of bed and walked down twenty steps give or take and I was ready for work. The down fall to it was that work was my life and there was never an escape…Never.

The moment I walked in the front door, Jake had Sam by the throat while Jasper held onto Emmett's, big brute arms. I ran to Rosalie who was slapping at Jasper, telling him to let Emmett go and took hold of Emmett as well. He was moving Jasper around, like a fuck'n rag doll.

"What the fuck, is going on?" I screamed.

"Sam here got a little friendly with Rose." Jacob shouted over the hoots and hollers of the on lookers.

"Alright, time for you to go Sam." I eyed him as he stared directly at Emmett.

"I want him Bells just give me ten minutes." Emmett grunted, while spit spewed out of his mouth.

"Fuck you, I'll fuck'n rip your god damn head off!" Sam's red face yelled back as he fought against Jacob's hold.

"I'm so fuck'n tired of this shit! Fuck it you wanna kill each other, take it the fuck outside!" I screamed releasing my hold from Emmett and nodded to Jasper to let him go.

Emmett stormed outside, grunting as his fists clenched at his side. The moment Jacob let Sam go, Sam stood there hesitant starring at the door.

"Well tough guy…..aren't you gunna go get you some?" I huffed pointing at the door.

"Nah, I'm drunk, and shit I better go the fuck home, before I end up in a body bag." He ran his hand along the back of his neck nervously, "I'm sorry Rose…I should learn to keep my hands to myself." He grumbled.

"Damn straight you should. My ass is for my husband. Not for fuck'n disgusting pukes like you!" She screamed pointing her index finger at him. "You see this," She grabbed a nice hand full of her right ass cheek, "In your fuck'n dreams!" She chuckled, heading towards the front door.

As I was heading for the bar, the sound of tables and chairs crashing to the floor, rang through the entire place. I turned around to witness Emmett, throttling Sam.

"You think you can grab my wife's ass, and get away with it?...you fuck'n pussy!" Em screamed out each word with every powerful blow, that connected with Sam's face.

The bar went into utter chaos as blood splattered up the walls and all over my damn carpet. Jacob and Jasper ran to break it up, while I moved tables and chairs out of the way…What we didn't have that many to spare. A few bikers came over to help break it up and before long the cops showed up. Of course Sam was over served which resulted in a large fine for us.

"Great just what we fuck'n need." I huffed, as the cop handed me the small slip of paper.

You'd think being the chief of police's daughter, I would get away with fuck'n murder, but oh no, daddy didn't believe in that shit. I had went to my father for help many times before regarding this god damn place, but he would just shrug and tell me to get my shit together. Get my shit together pft, if he only knew the fuck'n bullshit I had to put up with on a daily basis, the heavy burden that was placed upon my shoulders, than he might have a had different tune to sing.

I never wanted Izzy's to turn into a place like this; I wanted it to become a hot spot, a classy joint, but I should have known better. In the last few years Forks had become nothing but a hell hole. Every second house was a drug dealer and the others were nothing but gangs, prostitutes and bikers. They didn't call it mini Chicago for nothing.

When everything had quieted down and the doors were closed, I counted the till taking in the daily income. I sighed slamming my fists onto the bar, as Jacob came to stand beside me.

"Well, how much did we pull in tonight?" He asked as I turn to him and handed him, the small stack of twenties in my hand.

He counted it out slowly and the recounted it several times, as if more was going to miraculously appear before him…fucking idiot.

"Five hindered dollars…that's it! Five hundred fucking dollars…This won't even cover the god damn hydro bill!" He screamed back.

He threw the bills across the bar in a fit of rage as his body trembled. I ran around the other side of the bar and picked them up, calling him an asshole under my breath.

"What did you say?" He growled at me as I turned, giving him a disgusting look.

"I said you're a fucking asshole! How the hell, is throwing the money all over the place, going to make it better! You're a fuck'n child!" I chuckled at my last statement, shaking my head as I picked up the last few bills.

Suddenly I was being shadowed by Jake. I looked up to see his arms tensed, his jaw tight and his fists clenched. I knew what was coming next, but what I wasn't expecting, was this to be the worst beating yet. He left me on the bar floor, bleeding and in severe pain. He didn't give to shits if he had killed me and for that…. the fucker was going to pay.

I managed to make my way over to the bar and picked up the phone, thinking about calling my father, but slammed the phone back down. My father would just tell me that this was my fault, that I had drove Jake to this point. I couldn't call Rosalie or Emmett, they wouldn't believe me either and considering Alice was Jakes sister, that wasn't going to happen. I needed a place that I could just get away, that Jake wouldn't be able to find me…a place that no one knew about.

I fell to the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs. I needed to get the hell away from Jake, before he killed me or worse, I killed the motherfucker. I had tried to leave him before but he always found me and drug my ass back here. He never allowed me to have any friends. Rosalie and Emmett had been our friends for years, so he allowed that, but only because we had all grown up together.

I wiped my bloody nose on the sleeve of my shirt, when I spotted the small garbage can behind the bar. I crawled on my hands and knees towards it, and dumped the contents on the floor. My hand rummaged through the garbage until I found the small pieces of Edward's business card, that Jake had ripped up. I quickly found enough pieces, that I could make out his phone number.

I put all the garbage back in the pail and placed it back under the counter, before I made my way back over to the phone. The moment I dialed the number, I had second thoughts. He probably wouldn't even be in the office at this hour. I was just about to hang up when I heard his raspy voice on the other end.

"Hello…Cullen and Son's" He answered.

I paused.

"Hello, is anyone there?" He asked again.

His voice was so soft…so very different from Jakes. I could just stand here and listen to him say Hello, all god damn night.

"Hello!" He shouted, making me giggle a little.

"Who is this?" He whispered.

He sounded so tired.

"Edward….It's Bella." I started, hoping like hell that he would remember who I was.

"Bella!" He shot out so excitedly, that I wanted to both slam the phone down on the receiver and strip naked, fondling myself right where I stood, listening to the sound of his smooth velvety voice.

"How are you?" He asked and I could hear the smile in his voice, which forced a smile upon my own.

"Listen Edward, I need some help. I hate to ask, but I need someone outside of my circle. Someone who doesn't know me….do you understand?" I asked as he paused.

"Anything Love." He sounded distressed on the other end, "What do you need?" He asked.

"I need you to come down to Forks and pick me up at the bar. Can you do that?" I asked.

"I'm on my way." He rushed out.

"Wait could you blink your head lights three times, so that I know it's you?" I questioned.

"Sure, I'll be there soon." He whispered before he hung up.

What the fuck was I doing? I shouldn't have called him. Fuck! I was going to bring this goodie two shoes fucker, into to hell with me. This wasn't right. He was a good man and he deserved better than this….than me.

I was about to call him back and tell him not to come, when I noticed lights flashing outside the bar. What the hell? Did he own a race car? I cleared my mind looked at the till and said, "Fuck it!" I grabbed the cash from the drawer and hightailed it towards the side door.

I ran to his car, opened the door, jumped in and told him to hit the motherfucking gas.

"What the fuck happened!" He screamed.

"It's nothing." I turned to face out the window.

He slammed on the breaks and pulled over to the shoulder of the road. "That's not nothing." He huffed out taking my face in his hands.

My eyes closed, while shivers ran up and down my spine. "Did he find out about what we did?" He whispered.

My eyes shot open wide as I took in his agonizing features. "No…this is what happens every time we don't make enough money. It's the worst, but that's life." I shrugged.

"That's not fucking life! I should go back there and kick his ass!" He growled, through clenched teeth.

Was it wrong for my pussy to moisten at his harsh words…the way his tongue rolled along his teeth as he hissed out….the way his lips curled up? Stop it Bella! I scolded myself.

"Edward, you don't know me at all. This is my life. I'll always go back to Jake. At the end of the day, he is my life, as fucked up as it is….and well I don't deserve someone like you…Jake, is as good as it gets for me." I stared out the window.

"Bella look at me." He turned my face in his hands, "You deserve better than this."

"Yeah okay Romeo. Are you for real? Just drive." I chuckled, as he asked me where I was headed.

I hadn't thought about it. I had about eight hundred in my pocket. The five from tonight's profits, along with the float.

"Just drop me off at the hotel up the road." I pointed to a hotel sign that no longer spelled out hotel…it now said ho..e…so fucking fitting.

"No, I wouldn't feel right leaving you in a place like that." He shook his head from side to side, "You'll stay with me at my apartment." He nodded, agreeing with his own statement.

"Sorry honey, but we're not going down that road again. I mean you were a great fuck and all, but like I said, one time, that's all it was." I confirmed as he smiled.

"I'll take the couch and you can have my bed. Just until you figure out what you're going to do. You said yourself, that you needed a place to go, that your husband wouldn't know about and pardon me for saying, but a hotel no more than ten minutes from your bar, seems like the first place I would check." He confirmed looking at the side mirror to move over into the left lane, headed for Seattle.

When we pulled up to the joint, it looked like a god damn plaza. The place even had valley parking. Edward came around and opened my door for me, placing his dress coat over my shoulders. I suddenly felt like that chick from that movie 'Pretty woman.' Here I was in a black spandex mini skirt, black stilettos, a white see through blouse, that exposed my black pushup bra, with blood smeared across it. My hair a mess, and god knows what else. I hadn't even taken a look at myself, but fuck me hard….everyone was eyeing me up like, I was a fuck'n dirty ass tramp. I had never, and I mean never, felt like that in all my life. I wanted to cry and run for the fucking hills.

As we entered into the main lobby, Edward waved and nodded saying hello to a security guard named Felix. Just getting a look at the big bastard made me feel safe. The entire time we were in the elevator, we never said a word to one another. He seemed a little nervous and I couldn't help but smile about it. I made him nervous me…ha that's a fucking joke and a half.

When the doors opened, he waved his hand gesturing for me to enter out of the elevator first. I was shocked as I walked out. The elevator opened right into his living room. The place was huge, clean and so high-tech. He left me alone in his living room for a few minutes and returned with a pair of his jogging pants and a white t-shirt for me to wear, pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

The bathroom could have fit in my entire apartment. Everything was so damn white. So out of character for me. His T.V alone was so far out of my price range, it wasn't even funny. Once I put on his jogging pants, I went to place his shirt over my head and I could smell him. I took in a big whiff and suddenly, turned into that bar whore I was, three weeks ago. I wanted his scent all over me, his thick tongue parading down the back of my throat. His thick hard cock, filling me up completely.

"Bella, are you alright in there?" His sexy ass voice called through the door.

"Yeah, I'll be just a minute. Just getting cleaned up." I shouted back.

I ran over to the mirror and cringed as I took in the sight before me. I was a complete fucking mess, no wonder everyone was staring at me. My hair was a noted mess, my lips busted, blood still lingered under my nose, as well as the massively large shiner I was now sporting, under my right eye. My eye it's self was red from the vessels breaking. Holy, fuck, I looked like something that rolled in off of the street. I splashed some water on my face, washing away the blood, brushed my hair and walked out of the bathroom, hearing the sound of soft music playing.

**Edward's Point Of View**

It had been a long day at the office, going over endless paper work. My plan to force my father to stay in his chair didn't work. He stepped down leaving all the responsibilities to me. The whole night was just a big fucking flop, except for meeting Bella of course. I hadn't seen or heard from her in three damn weeks. I thought about picking up the phone myself and call her, but what was I going to say? Hey it's me, the guy you ruined, fucking on your bar? That didn't seem logical.

I knew she said that we would never do that again, but internally no matter how much I was struggling with screwing a married woman, I wished that she would call, so I could fuck her every which way to Sunday. So you can all understand how fucking happy I was, when I received her phone call. I thought I was fucking dreaming and had to pinch myself, just to make sure. She sounded so scared and sad and that shit, broke my heart.

I speed all the way there, in a hurry to get to her and when I pulled alongside the bar, I flashed my head lights, just like she had instructed of me. When I got a look at her she looked a mess but when we pulled away and I got a good look at her, my heart was fucking breaking. I figured that asshole had done this too her, but I needed hear her say it. When she confirmed that it was her husband, I couldn't help but think that this was my entire fault. I mean, if I wouldn't have taken her…. ravaged her the way I did; she wouldn't have received all these damn bruises, that ruined her gorgeous body.

She laughed at me and told me this was what happened, when they didn't pull in enough money. Internally I wanted to turn around and pumble the fucker for marking her this way. Who the fuck did he think he was, Rambo? He was so fucking tough beating on a woman; I should give him a taste of what it's like.

When she told me that she would always go back to him….that this was her life, my heart broke, shattered, that she was this fucking broken. She wanted to stay in that, god forsaken hotel and I just couldn't allow it. What kind of gentlemen would I be, if I dropped her off at that, flee infested place? Besides I knew that her husband would find her there, and I couldn't live with myself, if I found out later that he had beaten her to no return.

I spoke before I had a chance to think about what I was asking. I told her that she could come back to my place and of course she jumped to the wrong conclusions….maybe not… But in the end, I wasn't taking no for an answer.

As we pulled up I knew that she wasn't at all comfortable with everyone staring at her, so I placed my coat over her small, shaking frame. She looked at me stunted and I couldn't help but realize that she probably was never treated with respect. What a fucking shame.

When we entered my apartment I gave her some of my clothes to put on and showed her where the bathroom was located. I was a nervous wreck. I wanted her in the worst possible way and it was by no means, the right time or place for me to be thinking this way. I just wanted her to feel needed, appreciated, cared for…among many other things. I wanted to hold her in my arms, comfort her; the way she needed….my arms that had longed to embrace her for the last three weeks.

I shook my head, "Grow a pair of balls, Edward." I scolded myself.

She was taking longer than I had anticipated and I became a little concerned. When I knocked at the door, I think I startled her a little. She was breathing heavily and that shit, made my cock hard as hell. When she informed me that she was just washing up, I walked back into the living room and turned on some soft music, internally hoping that it would calm her down and poured us some wine.

After I poured two glasses, I chuckled lightly and grabbed the bottle of Rye from the fridge. I had come from Champaign and Wine, where as she had come from, Rye and Beer. It sounded crazy as hell….I mean stalker crazy, but ever since that night, when I would miss her, I would take a swig of Rye, just so I could let the taste linger around in my mouth. It tasted just as her lips did that night and my god, I wanted to taste them again.

Suddenly she stood before me, looking cute as hell in my clothes. They were so big on her, that she had tied a naught on the waist band of my gray joggers and on the hem line of my, white t-shirt. Her hair was combed and with her makeup washed, her black eye looked so much worse. I cringed and handed her a glass of wine.

"I have some Rye too, if you want something a little stronger. I figured you'd want something to take the edge off." I shrugged as she smiled and walked over to the other side of the island, taking the bottle of Rye in her hands, popping the cap off and took a large swig. She swished it around in her mouth, looking around the room as her legs swung back and forth from the wooden stool.

I couldn't help but smile, as I sipped at my wine and stared at her intently.

"This is a nice place you've got here." She smiled, as she nervously picked at the label on the Rye bottle.

"Thanks." I nodded.

This whole shy conversation bullshit, was going to be the death of me. My cock was hard rubbing against my zipper as I watched her take another sip of Rye. The way her lips glistened as a small amount slipped out, and landed on her lips, had me going completely fucking crazy….and my god, as she let her tongue escape her mouth, licking the droplets off of her perfectly pouted lips, I felt the pre-cum drip from the head of my cock.

I crossed my legs awkwardly, on the other side of the island as she eyed me.

"What's the matter, you gotta piss or something?" She asked as I smirked, "Yeah something like that."

"Well, I'm not gunna rob yeah or shit…you can go for a piss." She huffed out offended.

I felt like a total ass and in that moment, I wanted to tell her that she was giving me a fucking hard on, but I just nodded, like a fucking chump and walked towards the bathroom. The moment I closed the door, I splashed some cold water on my face. What the hell was wrong with me? I never cared about a lay this much before, most god damn women thanked me come morning, calling me for round two, but not this one, this one didn't want me. Maybe that was it….the old wife's tail I mean….I want what I can't have and my god, did I ever want her.

As I went back out into my living room, I was rewarded with the sight of Bella, swaying her hips back and forth, drink in her hand, to some damn song playing on the radio. Her hips rocked left and right, back and forth as her eyes closed and her head tilted back. I don't know what came over me, but god help me, all I wanted was that luscious ass, leaned up against my hard ass rod.

I walked over to her growing a pair in that moment and wrapped my arms around her from behind, swaying with her to the beat of the music. I waited for her to pull back, to slap me but she leaned into my chest, closed her eyes and allowed the embrace to happen. My cock got incredibly harder, as she grinded her ass into me.

I moaned letting go of her and she turned to face me, with a stunned look on her face, "What's the matter?" She asked.

"I can't, I mean, I know you're hurt and I just fucking want you and I can't." I rambled on as she smiled and walked towards me.

"Edward, make me forget. I mean I know that what we're doing is wrong…so very fucking wrong, but I've never felt the way you make me feel….so desirable…so sexy. I need to have you….I want you." She whispered, looking into my eyes, with her hooded in lust eyes.

I didn't even think, all I wanted was her. My hands cupped her face and my mouth came crashing down onto hers, my tongue thrust in and out as my fingers gripped onto the meat of her ass, pulling her hard into my cock.

As my tongue escaped her mouth trap, she sucked on it hard, with everything she had and grounded her hips against my rather, sizeable bulge arguing with my jeans. I have never wanted a hot, nasty fuck, so much, in my life.

I slide one of her thighs between my legs and raised it slightly, as she grinded her cunt against it. Her hands were everywhere on me, my face, my hair, my shoulders, my chest. My nipples were hard as her fingertips discovered them and she pinched them slightly. It was so god damn erotic, I fuck'n loved it.

I grunted picking her up and tossing her onto my couch. She looked at me in shock, but I only had one thing on my mind. I wanted to taste her. I had only gotten a small taste of her from my fingers that night and she was the sweetest thing, I had ever tasted.

I tugged the jogging pants down and tossed them across the room. I stood there eyeing her pussy like it was the last god damn drop of water in a fuck'n desert and I was thirsty as hell. When my eyes left her center and landed on her face, she bit down on her bottom lip, while she placed her fingers in-between her slick folds and parted her lips for me.

She wanted this as bad as I did and I wasn't about to pass on this miraculous cunt. My mouth came crashing down like it owned her pussy, licking, slurping, nibbling, swirling, biting her lips gently…..possessively, flicking against her rigid clit.

My hands lingered down her thighs, onto her calf's, until I had her ankles gripped in my hands and shoved them up higher still. My mouth licked and kissed its way down to her ass, nibbling and biting both cheeks as my tongue, very lightly slide up the crack of her ass. She thrashed above me moaning, helplessly unable to tell me what she wanted, but I didn't need to know. I knew, that whatever I did to her she would appreciate it because, I was simply worshiping her body.

My tongue circled her hole, seeking permission and when she moaned out, "I want you…god I want you." I thrust my tongue inside of her canal. As I tongue fucked her hole, she clawed the shit out of the back of my couch, trying desperately to hold on and not scream.

"Let it out baby!" I growled as her thighs tightened their hold around my head.

"Oh Fuck! Edward! Eat that fuck'n pussy!" She screamed.

As my mouth moved up to her clit, I sucked on the nub, as I slid my index finger in and out of her juicy cunt. Her back arched as my long lean fingers, slid in and out of her pussy and I power sucked at her clit. Before long she came hard, spilling into the palm of my hand,

"Oh Fuck!" She screamed.

We both froze for a moment…me, because my brain had exploded in overwhelming desire and her, because she was panting and completely in fucking shock…yeah I did that shit to her…me…. Edward, fucking Cullen.

Her eyes gleamed at me as I stood with a 'smug as a bastard' smile on my face. She leaned forward to the edge of the couch as her hands moved towards the button on my jeans. I heard the distinct sound of the click of my belt, along with the sharp sound of my zipper being drawn.

She pushed me down onto the couch, as I shifted to the edge, giving her better access, plus I loved to fucking watch. My cock bobbed back and forth, in anticipation to be in that dirty ass potty mouth of hers….I'd like to wash it out, with a thick, full load, of my cum.

I leaned forward and braced my palms against the edge of the couch, while she sucked the absolute hell out of my swollen cock. She stared up at me, watching me watch as my cock slide deeper and deeper into her mouth. My eyes were wide in disbelief as I felt myself slide over her tongue and down the back of her throat….god damn this women could suck a mean cock.

Bella chuckled slightly and the sound vibrated against my shaft, causing my eyes to roll into the back of my head. My hips thrust towards her face forcing my cock to hit the back of her throat as she swallowed, forcing her uvula to tighten its hold around me. I couldn't fucking take it anymore and I shot my entire load down the back of her throat.

She sat on the couch next to me for a while, my pants and boxers were still down and around my ankles, as I tried to get my eyes to fucking focus. When they became non-blurry again I could see the shit-eating grin on Bella's face. I had never been so completely blindsided by an orgasm before.

Finally I blinked a couple of times and whispered out, "wow." She chuckled again, sort of a triumphant sounding chuckle. I looked at her slowly and smiled; "Now you're in trouble." I whispered softly.

I stripped her completely naked, tearing my white shirt from her, exposing those milky, soft plump breasts of hers. I sucked at those beautiful perfect orbs, allowing my tongue to slip out from between my lips, swirling around her nipples as I watched her watch me.

As her hands lingered down to touch my hair, I jumped up quickly and pinned her wrists behind her back, crashing her mouth to mine again.

The sheer wicked arousal of being naked against her body was intoxicating. She grinded her body against me and in that moment she moaned out, "I'm free and hornier then I've ever fucking been." She wanted it nasty, and I wanted it now.

I slid my hands up and down her mid section and placed my mouth against her ear, "Ever had a complete stranger watch you fuck, while jacking off?" I asked as she looked at me strangely.

"Huh?" She tilted her head as she looked up at me.

"There's a guy across from my living room window watching us and he's beating off." I confirmed pointing at the window as she looked over my shoulder.

She froze for a second and then thawed rapidly as she surged to life, "Let's give him one hell of a good show." She grinned.

I sucked in a breath, turned her around and bent her over the arm rest of my white leather couch. She braced herself as I rubbed, my now again, hard as hell cock, against her ass, running it up and down along her walls and thrust hard into her pussy.

Bella wiggled her ass back against me and I growled. Fuck I loved the way her soft smooth ass felt against my pubic hair….the way her tits juggled with every movement and knowing that the guy across the hall, was stroking his cock, while watching me fuck her, was the most erotic thing I had ever fucking done.

"Fuck me!" She moaned loudly, "Fuck my hot ass pussy, pound me!" She screamed as I gripped onto her hips tightly and obliged her waking demand.

Each one of my thrusts came in hard, enough to lift her off of her toes. She pressed back into me taking every inch of me, stroking her walls so deeply.

We screwed like crazy, with no attempt to be quiet. Our bodies slapped together, are breathing was harsh and ragged and neither one of us could stop moaning and grunting.

She kept howling, "Fuck me!" as I released a running stream of compliments about her hot, wet, tight cunt.

Her pussy got hotter, tighter and wetter as I continued to slam my cock deep into her creamy puss. I picked up the pace a little and felt my balls slamming against her clit as I pumped into her with as much force as I could muster. I thrust deeper still, wanting every inch of my cock to impale her hot, horny hole and reached around her until my one hand gripped onto her left nipple hard, the other going right for her clit.

The combined sensations were driving her insane. I withdrew suddenly, flipping her around as I grabbed the backs of her knees and shoved myself hard, thrusting my cock back into her hole.

"Yes!" I breathed, watching as my cock fucked her tight little hole, "Yes! So fucking tight! Spread your pussy lips for me!" I moaned as she reached down and spread herself open for me.

Her eyes were dark and gleaming as she gasped through her mouth, "Fuck me deep!" She cried loudly. I licked my lips, nodded helplessly and worked my hips as fast and hard as I could. It was an orgy of pleasure of pain and I wanted it to go on forever.

"Fuck me so hard I can't stand it!" She bellowed, "Fill my hole with your cum!" she screamed.

Fuck me hard and backwards….I wanted to get down on my knees and marry this fucking women.

"Did you hear me…fuck me hard!" She howled rising her head as she glared at me. It was the single most erotic sight I've ever seen.

I fucked her hole like a machine, my face twisted with ecstasy, sweat pouring, my palms shoved into the back of her knees as my eyes went blank and every god damn nerve ending in my cock, was stimulated by her wet tight ass pussy.

She reached down and rubbed at her own clit, making herself cum again and again, shrieking, "Fuck me! Fuck me!"

I threw back my head and howled like a fucking animal as my cock released, spurt after spurt of hot cream, into her love tunnel. She got her wish and then some as I flooded her with my seed.

Her pussy pulsated and clamed around me as I felt her splash out with my final strokes. We had cummed together and that shit was amazing. She caught me as I pitched forward on top of her. After a while I lifted my head to look at her she was wet from sweat and completely fucking exhausted.

She smiled as I rolled off of her and walked her naked ass body over to the window, smiled, waved and closed the curtain.

She laughed loudly covering her mouth with her small hand. "I've never and I mean never, done anything like that. Do you think we gave the old bastard a heart attack?" She asked.

"I think we gave him the best god damn show of his life." I chuckled along with her, patting the couch cushion beside me.

Her smile faded than, as she approached me and placed the jogging pants back on, along with the white shirt. I was had no idea what to say, she looked upset and I didn't know what the hell I did. I sat up quickly as she headed for the elevator.

"Wait, where are you going?" I rushed out running to her side as the door to the elevator opened.

There was an old couple in the elevator, who gasped as they took in my naked form. I cupped my hands over myself and smiled as they repeatedly pushed the button, to close the elevator doors.

When the doors finally closed, I noticed that Bella was crying. I placed my hand under her chin and looked her in the eye.

"What is it? Please tell me what's wrong?" I whispered out in agony.

"Fuck…I don't fucking cry…never!" She hollered. "Everything is so fucked up, I mean I'm married. I have a shit hole to run and you're….daddy is the CEO of Cullen and Son's." She waved her hand in the air as the other wiped away her fallen tears.

"Um no, my father stepped down and I'm now the CEO of Cullen and Son's." I confirmed.

"Oh fuck even fucking better." She rolled her eyes and shook her head from side to side.

"Tell me what to say here, Bella…Please!" I begged as she looked at me contently.

"I don't know…tell me I'm a whore….call me a slut. I deserve it." She bellowed.

I wrapped her up in my arms tightly whispering, "Never," into her hair. She was so fucking broken, so kicked down and fucked up that I felt the urge to put her back together again, piece by fucking piece. Jacob had ruined her in more ways than one and I knew that she deserved better then that….then the life she had lived.

I begged her to stay the night…the week…telling her that she could stay as long as she wanted…no strings attached. Her eyes were so swollen and puffy, that her black eye now looked a hell of a lot worse. I picked her sobbing broken ass body up into my arms and walked her into my room, placing her gently onto my bed.

As I went to leave she pulled my arm, "Please just cuddle with me tonight." She whispered as I nodded and told her that I would be back in just a second.

I ran to the fridge, grabbed an ice pack and ran back to the bedroom. When I walked in she was sitting in the middle of the bed rocking back and forth, with the side of her face placed gently onto her knees.

I handed her the ice pack and as she lay back onto the bed, I crawled in beside her and wrapped my arms around her tightly. She fit perfectly in my arms and I never wanted to let her go. She was so fragile, so lost and all I wanted was to protect her from the outside world….from her god damn nightmare of a life.

No one, nothing in this world, not even the shit, on my four hundred dollar dress shoes, deserved what this women had went through. I wasn't perfect, but I god damn well, would never hit a women.

As I held Bella in my arms I stared down at her sleeping face and wished that I would have met her first. Things would have been different for her. It was amazing how much she had uprooted my life, in the small amount of time I'd known her. Even if she didn't want me, I decided in that moment that I was going to help her get away from Jake.

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**Well hot damn! I hope that you all loved it! I'm really enjoying writing MP! A little Fluff….Grittiness….fucked up situations…a little something for everyone ;) can't wait to read all of your reviews on this one!...Hope it was worth the wait…I'm still working on some pic's for MP. I hope to have them posted by the time I post chapter three...until next time FF….April**


	3. Chapter 3 When one door closes

**Chapter 3**

**When one door closes another shall open

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**A/N: So it has come to my attention that 'some' of you love my 'hard core' lemons, where others not so much. **

**I have also been advised, that some of the Domestic violent situations are a bit too detailed. **

**I want to state for the record that as Bella goes through her emotional struggles 'highs and lows' so too will the lemons as well as the content of her mannerisms. **

**I want to make myself very clear before I continue on writing this story. No way shape or form do I agree with Domestic violence. **

***This is NOT a story to promote in favor of it, NOR is it one to mock those who have gone through it.* **

**As I stated on the first chapters A/N note I have a family member who has gone through DM and survived it. **

**This story is to promote survivors of DM. To allow those of you who _have not_ witnessed this in your lives, to walk down the journey of those _who_ have. And for those of you who are going through it now, to know that there is help out there, and that you too can find your Edward. **

**I write these A/N notes for a reason… Please read them.**

***Warning, disturbing behavior, vulgar language, and lemon.***

**Special thanks:**

**To all my readers and reviewers out there...THANK YOU! you have all blown me away with your kind words and reviews. It's because of you that I continue to write.**

**My Beta Dee, who is always putting in more then she should. You are the best my friend and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**All my twitter ladies who continue to support me on this story...ashma0407, SexylexiCullen, KinkMyRide, Jo22Twilight, Luv4_RobPattz, janaonwheels, Pixiebella88 and so many more who have continued to show me their support! You guys are fucking awesome. That's right I said Fucking!**

**My husband, who is just simply put, the best thing in my life...I love you.**

**My friends and family...who are my everything...fuck I hope I didn't forget anyone? **

**Let's get on with it….Happy reading…..April

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**Edward's Point Of View**

I woke the next morning to a rather, large, annoying, fucking beeping sound. I stretched, moaned and rolled over. As the beeping continued, I slammed my hand down on my alarm clock a few times and when it didn't stop, I opened my eyes to see, that it was only six in the morning. I had another hour's worth of sleep before I had to get up. I waited for my eyes to adjust and when my brain finally started to function, I realized that the beeping was my fucking fire alarm. I shot out of bed in one hell of a hurry. My foot caught in the god damn blankets, forcing me to crash down hard, onto the floor.

I was momentarily stunned, but managed to slide my naked ass body, across the bedroom floor. When I made it into the living room, I couldn't see one foot in front of me. The smoke was so god damn thick.

After feeling my way through my apartment, I managed to make it to the doorway in the kitchen, where I saw Bella standing on my island, waving a kitchen towel just below the alarm, wearing nothing but my god damn t-shirt…..So fucking sexy.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make you breakfast!" She hollered, over the alarm.

I ran to the windows, opening one by one and then stood on top of the island and pulled the batteries out of the god damn thing. My chest was heaving; my breathing inclined and my hands were shaking like a fucking leaf. As I looked down at her, she smiled shyly up at me, which was something new for her. I jumped off of the island and outreached my hand for her to take.

As she hopped down, her breasts bounced freely and I had to swallow hard, knowing that she wasn't wearing a bra. She chuckled lightly as she went back to her burnt eggs, on the stove.

"What?" I let out a profound breath.

"It's your house." She shrugged, pointing the spatula at me as her eyes lingered lower than what was necessary.

When I looked down at myself I realized that I was still completely nude. "You didn't have a problem with it last night." I corked an eyebrow as her smile faded. I took this as my queue, to go put something on. After I showered and got into my business attire, I walked back into the kitchen, fiddling with my tie.

"Here let me get that." She smiled as she took over for me.

I stared down at her, in complete confusion. She was so raw, so hurt, so fucked up last night, where had all this 'Marry Poppins,' bullshit come from? I was glad to see her with a smile on her face, but what I liked about her was that she had a 'fuck the world' attitude about her and I didn't want to see her lose this side of herself. Trust me, I know how that sounds, but she was strong minded, strong willed and didn't give two shit's, what people thought about her. This alone was what attracted me to her, in the first place.

"Um, you don't have to do all of this." I waved around my now, non-foggy kitchen.

"I know, but I wanted to thank you, for letting me stay here last night." She shrugged and by the sound in her voice, it didn't sound like she had any intention, on staying another night.

We sat down at my kitchen table together for breakfast, which was something very new for me. The only time I ever sat at a table to eat was, Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner at my parent's house. Fast meals had become an everyday norm for me….fast paced was what my life had consisted of, for the last five years.

I looked down at my brunt eggs, smiled and shoveled that shit down, like a fucking trooper, while she picked at hers.

"Um, I have to go into the office today." I started as she continued to play with her food. "Will you be here when I get home?" I asked as she finally looked up from her plate.

"I…ah….think I better get back to my life." She stuttered.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. I was struggling. I wanted her to stay here with me, to go anywhere other than back to her husband, but it was her life, her husband and what the hell was I going to do about that?

We ate the rest of our breakfast in complete silence. When I was finished, I grabbed my suitcase off of the kitchen counter and headed towards the elevator. She didn't even follow me, which oddly enough upset me. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I give two shits, if she wanted to go back to her abusive husband? I got my lay…that should have been enough right? You would think so, but fuck me….I couldn't fucking let her leave.

I turned around, shaking my god damn head and headed back into the kitchen. Bella was hovering over the kitchen sink, staring at the bubbles, in some sort of trance, and her hands were in the dish water, without even moving. I placed my suitcase back down onto the counter and walked over to her, leaning against it.

"Bella, it's not my place to tell you what to do…..but I would like it very much, if you would stay here with me…until you figure everything out." I whispered out, awkwardly intertwining my fingers as I spoke.

"Oh my, fucking God. This is why I can't stay here." She huffed storming out of the kitchen.

My dumb ass followed of course. "What's that supposed to mean?" I shot out.

"You and I are nothing….What we did, that was a fuck and nothing more. I appreciate that you helped me take my mind off of things, for a while…and hell, you were, fucking phenomenal, but when we're done fucking, my problems are still there…problems that aren't going to go away…I have to deal with my shit. I'm not at all in the right state of mind to be running off into the fucking sunset, with someone I just fucking met…..you men, you're all the fucking same!" She rambled as she headed towards my bedroom.

I stormed off after her of course, wanting to put myself through more fucking torture, I guess. I should have just thrown my hands up into the air and told her…fuck it, fuck up your fucking life, but I couldn't.

"Why can't you just accept, that all this was, was a fuck? She shot out at me as she struggled trying to put on her bloodied blouse.

I was so fucking angry, and what came out of my mouth next, was a vomit of hurtful words. "You're right. All we did was fuck, and I don't owe you shit. Go back to your dead beat husband…..I don't give a fuck!" I screamed at her as she slapped me hard across the face and ran right towards the elevator. I grunted, and ran after her.

When I reached her, the elevator doors had already opened. She entered, dangling her high heels in one hand as the other, gave me the finger. I ran towards the doors as they started to close and pinned my arm in-between them, forcing them to re-open. With my hands now placed on either side of the doors, preventing them from closing, I took in her death glare as well as her chest heaving up and down.

"Bella, please come back into the apartment. I didn't mean what I said….I'm a fucking asshole." I begged as she crossed her arms over her chest, shoes in hand.

"Alright, listen…..I understand that you have a husband…..that you're working your shit out. That what we did, was just simply sex. I don't know what you're thinking, but I can tell you, that I'm not looking for a wife….I'm far from boyfriend material...and I'm so far from fucking perfect, it isn't even funny…..But I want to help you. Not because I pity you or I think you can't do it on your own….because hell…..." I sighed.

"I like you, as immature as that may sound and well….shit….I want to help. I would do it for anyone, not just you. Do you understand?" I asked, looking her directly in the eye as she walked back into my living room. I _was_ doing it because it was her, but I knew that this wasn't what she wanted to hear right now.

I grabbed her by her shoulders as her eyes filled with tears. "Bella, will you let me help you?" I asked as she looked up at me.

"Edward, I'm not a charity case and I like you too, probably more than I should, but I can't drag you into my problems….they're mine and mine alone." She pointed at her chest as I nodded in agreement.

"I understand that, but your head is clouded." I tapped my index finger off of my temple.

"Your emotions are all over the place, and all I'm asking, is that you wait for a few days, before you decide to go back to him." I cleared my throat.

"You told me that you were alone, had no one to turn to. That this is why you always went back to Jacob." I confirmed.

"No, I told you I had no one to turn to, but that I _would_ always go back to Jacob, because at the end of the day, he is my husband." She huffed.

"Yes, but if you had someone to help you. Would you leave him?" I asked.

"I don't know if I can." She whispered.

I had never dealt with something like this, I needed a damn professional. I couldn't understand why she couldn't just leave his ass. I understood being scared, never having someone to turn to for help, but now that she was given an out…she refused to fucking take it! Why would anyone want to live like this?

"Alright, Bella." I sighed. "I have to go to work. I'm going to give you the choice here. You can stay or you can leave, but just know, that you can call me anytime….for whatever you need." I eyed her placing my business card into her hand and kissed her on the forehead.

As the elevator doors started to close, I watched as she just stood there staring at my card in her hands. When I reached the lobby I wanted to get back in the fucking elevator, go back up to my apartment and tie her to the fucking bed…so she couldn't leave of course. Having my way with her wouldn't hurt anyone. But I just walked out the front door, got in my car and headed for the office.

"Good morning Mr. Cullen." My receptionist Rosalie Hale greeted.

"Good morning Mrs. Hale. Any phone calls?" I asked.

"None, Sir." She confirmed, and I couldn't help but notice the sad look on her face.

"Rough night?" I asked as she looked to me in shock.

I never mixed outside situations with work, and seldom cared about what went on in my employees lives. As long as it didn't affect the company I didn't give to shits, but today I was on a 'save all the fucking women in the world' conquest. Internally I groaned as I asked the question, wanting nothing more than to take it back.

"Actually yes, my best friend just up and disappeared last night and I have no idea where she is." She rambled on as I nodded.

"Perhaps that's the point. Maybe she doesn't want to be found." I answered, thinking about Bella and praying like hell, that she would still be at my apartment, when I got home.

"I don't think so Sir." She whispered.

"And why is that?" I questioned, signing papers one by one, as she handed them to me.

"Because, normally her and her husband…. get into these fights, and she's home, within an hour or so." She continued.

"I wouldn't worry about it Mrs. Hale. I'm sure she'll show up." I grinned.

"I sure hope so Mr. Cullen…. Bella is like a sister to me." She bowed her head as the whole conversation registered…._what are the fucking odds?_

"Bella?" I asked as she eyed me confused and nodded.

"If you don't mind me asking, what's her last name?" I questioned as she continued to eye me.

"Black." She whispered.

"Uh, no sorry, I've mistaken your friend for someone else. Hope she returns home soon." I rambled, pulling at my tie.

I couldn't, fucking breath. I walked at a fast pace towards my office and when I arrived, I slammed the door and called my apartment. The phone rang several times and when Bella didn't answer, I slammed the phone down, placed my elbows onto my desk and pulled at my fucking hair.

I had to keep telling myself, that Rosalie didn't know, to calm the fuck down, but nothing seemed to work. What if Bella walked in here to see me? What if she called? Rosalie would have a hundred and one fucking questions. Why wouldn't Bella answer the damn phone? Had she left? Fuck me; I was a god damn mess.

I tried calling again and once again, received no answer. "Fuck I should have gotten her cell number!" I growled.

"Good morning to you too!" James chuckled, "Hot piece of ass?" He asked.

"What?" I rolled my eyes at him as my hands slowly unclenched from my hair.

"You just shouted, 'Fuck I should have gotten her cell number'.'" He mimicked me.

"Sorry rough night." I sighed, as he handed me a coffee.

"Well, hell…I'm no expert, but I've never seen you this put off, by a woman before. Better grab this one and run. And what the hell is with the number thing, thought you only gave them yours?" He smiled.

"I did give her mine, but she's…..different." I smiled, followed by a shrug.

"Hot damn, Cullen's finally caught the love bug…..Can I have your little black book?" He batted his eyelashes at me.

"Fuck off!" I laughed, throwing the plastic lid from my coffee, at him.

"What's her name? What does she do? I bet she has tits out to here!" He shot out his questions as I shook my head.

"Ah come on man, share!" He stomped his foot.

"We have a meeting to attend." I smirked and walked past him, out of my office.

He was jumping up and down like a fucking dog, begging for a treat, asking me over and over again to give him all the juicy details. James was now VP of Cullen & Son's. The sad truth to the title was that, this was all he would ever amount to here. My father would never allow him to be CEO, so this was as good as it gets for James.

He was tough, had an amazing sales pitch, and was as conniving as they come. In this business you had to be, or the shark next to you, would eat you for fucking dinner. There were so many other employees that were just waiting, for James to fuck up. They all knew as well as I did, that his obsession with drugs and women, would be the death of him at this company. Even still I had a soft spot for James and I wanted him to get his shit together. I had asked him several times to get help, but he just kept telling me, that it wasn't an addiction; he could give it all up just like that, if he wanted to. I guess I just shrugged it off after a while….what's the old saying? Ah yes, 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.' Yeah, that was how I felt about James and his 'little situation.'

The meeting went longer then what was expected and this made my anxiety worse. I just wanted to get home to Bella. As the meeting ended I was forced to stand alongside James and shake the hand of each one of our business associates. It didn't help that the clock was directly behind each one of them as I they said their goodbyes and thank you's. It was now seven at night; the meeting had swallowed my entire fucking day. When the last person left, I high tailed it down the hall and into my office. James was hot on my tail asking me where the fire was. I told him that I just had something important to attend to once I got home. Of course he smiled, nodded and gave me the thumbs up.

I tried calling again, but once again received no answer. Part of me was relieved. Today could have been so much worse. At least she didn't call or show up at my office, but then the other part of me, the part that internally hoped that she would be there when I got home, felt empty. I just had this gut feeling that she wasn't going to be there when I arrived. I wanted to pass my fucking apartment and go straight for the bar, knowing that that's where she would be, but I had to remind myself that she wasn't mine and if I went there on a rescue mission, all hell would break loose…no I had to be smart about this…..She would call….it would be just a matter of time before he did it again.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen." Felix greeted. I nodded and headed straight for the elevator.

When the doors opened, I sat my suitcase down on my desk, checked the answering machine…no messages and flopped down onto the couch. How could she be this determined to go back to him…Its god damn stupid? I shook my head and turned the T.V on. I was trying damn hard to focus on the news, but Bella just wouldn't stop occupying my brain.

"Fuck this!" I huffed, grabbed me keys and pressed the elevator button. There was no fucking way I was letting her go back to him…..letting him touch her like that again…over my dead body.

As I stood there at the elevator waiting, my right leg was tapping, my finger pressing and re-pressing the button. "Come on!" I screamed at the doors, watching as the numbers changed. When the doors finally opened I heard the sweetest sound, from behind me.

"Where are you going now?" Bella huffed.

I turned around shocked and happy as fuck, that she was standing in the middle of my hallway, wearing nothing but a towel. I ran to her and wrapped her up into my arms as she chuckled.

"I thought you went back." I whispered in her hair.

"Not yet." She whispered back as I pulled back from her and eyed her.

"I have to go back Edward….my things are there and I have to figure out, what to do with the bar. I know he is going to fight me on it, but it's mine too and we need to figure something out." She eyed me.

"You have different options. You can both sell, split the profits, or he can buy you out." I went into my business mode, not at all sure why, but this was what I knew and I could help her with this too.

"I really don't want to sell it. I still want it as my own, but that's where I'm afraid that Jake won't back down." She replied.

I couldn't believe that she still wanted the place. I mean I knew that she had some sort of a hard on for it, but come on…even I knew that this place was in financial trouble and it would take more money then she would ever have, to keep it afloat. If she was smart, she would let Jacob have the god damn place, take her buy out and cut her loses, before it was too late and she lost everything.

"Bella, I know that you love that place, but not only does it come with all the financial trouble, but it's a heavy burden for you to. It also comes with Jacob. If you intend to leave him, Izzy's has to go too." I confirmed what she already knew.

"I have to get dressed. Do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes, just until I get my own?" She asked. I shook my head no and told her, to help herself to anything she needed.

I waited in the hallway for her to return and when she did, she had her mini skirt on and one of my dress shirts.

"How do you plan to go about getting your things?" I asked.

"I'm just going to go down there now. Jake is running the bar right now, so I'll just slip in and out….no big deal. He won't even know that I'm there." She smiled as I once again, shook my head no.

"That's too risky. What if he does see you? How are you going to get to Forks? You should call the police or your father." I spat out.

"My father wouldn't help me and besides if I call the police, they'll inform my dad and then my dad will tell Jake. It's a vicious circle, I have to go alone." She whispered placing her hand onto the side of my face, in an attempt to comfort me, but nothing at all about this, was comforting.

"No, you're not going alone. I'm coming with you." I grunted. "End of story." I said.

To my surprise she didn't even argue with me. I could only assume that she was scared and was happy that she had someone she could confide in.

On the ride back to Forks I told her that Rosalie worked for me, how I came to figure it all out and what she wanted to do about it. She told me that it was simple, Rose just couldn't know. I agreed with her as she went on to tell me how she and Rose grew up together, and that her and her husband Emmett, didn't know about Jacob and the beatings. When Bella had told me that she was alone, had no one to turn to, I just didn't realize how alone she really was.

**Bella's Point Of View **

After Edward, started his bullshit this morning, trying to be my knight in shining armor, I realized that he was right. He was so fucking right, that it hurt. I had never had anyone in my corner before and after he left, I realized that it was time for me to leave Jacob.

It was going to be hard because I knew that Jacob would put on his sweet act, the one where he changes for a little while and then turns back into the barbaric asshole that he is. He had won me back this way so many times before, and like the fucking sucker that I am; it had always worked. Well not this fucking time.

It was time for a change, an over haul and it was time to show him and everyone else that I deserved better. Leave it to a goodie two shoes like Edward to teach me a thing or two about life. It was just that this had all become such a norm to me, that I suppose I had become somewhat numb to it all. It wasn't going to be easy, in fact it was going to be one of the hardest things, I would ever have to do, but if I could endure Jacob's beatings for almost ten years, then I could endure this too.

I had come to this decision, when Edward mentioned that I had told him that I never had anyone to help me, but that if I had him to help, would I leave Jacob. This question had haunted me all day. At first I was scared to leave Jacob. My life had become 'everything Jake' and I wasn't sure what I was going to do 'after Jake'. How my family and friends were going to react and to top it all off, with a nice fucking cherry on top, my bar.

Izzy's was my dream and mine alone and although she was crumbling, she was mine. I knew that Edward didn't understand, why I wanted to keep her. Hell if I was standing on the other side of things, I would tell me too, to drop the dead weight, but I was about to lose all of the hopes and dreams that I had ever had in my life and I wasn't ready to give up Izzy's.

On the way back to Forks, Edward mentioned that Rose worked for him. He was concerned about her finding out, wanting to know what we should do about it. At first I wanted to tell Rose. Tell her how Edward was trying to help me, but then I came to terms with the fact, that I didn't want Jake to know where I was staying. So I just told him that we couldn't tell Rose, thus nothing would happen.

The next thing that I had to figure out was, where I would be staying. I liked Edward a lot and he was doing so much for me, but I couldn't stay with Edward forever. Fuck, the moment he realized that I was nothing but white trailer trash; he would throw my ass to the fucking curb. Not to mention there was no fucking way, he was ever going to introduce me to all his snooty, rich ass friends….I was nothing but a fucking embarrassment.

Someone told me once that the best way to get over someone was to fill the void with someone else. I had never agreed with this statement until now. Edward was taking most of my pain and anxiety away, about leaving Jake, but in the end I was damaged goods and I knew that Edward would wake up one day and say, the hell with you….There was no way I was going to let myself believe otherwise because the inedible was too hard to bare. I was told so many times throughout my life that, I wasn't worthy of someone like Edward and I knew that it was true. Edward was a good, decent and kind, man and I was just a fucked up, trashy mouth, whore, who would never fit in, in Edward's world or deserve someone like him.

As we pulled into Forks, I could see Izzy's lights up on the hill, on the out skirts of town. From way back here, she looked beautiful. I had never seen her from this angle before because Jake never let me walk five fucking blocks alone. I smiled in that moment of looking at my own paradise. That was what Izzy's was to me, set aside Jake and his beatings, as much as I hated Izzy's she owned my heart. I was going to make something of her, make something of myself and no one, was ever going to stop me again.

I instructed Edward to park just two blocks down the road, in front of a child's playground, while I retrieved my things. He was upset with me that I asked him to stay in the car, until I pointed up at my apartment window and told him that, he would be able to see me the entire time. He finally agreed after he argued with me, until he was blue in the face. I just didn't want to take the risk of Jake, possibly walking in on me and having Edward there would be, so much worse.

After telling Edward I wouldn't be any more than twenty minutes, I took off down the street in a small sprint. My heart was racing, the moment I reached the apartment door. My hands were shaking as I fumbled with my keys. "Get a fucking grip, Bella Jesus." I scolded myself.

The moment I heard the distinct sound of the lock turning, I pushed the door open just a crack and when I realized that the whole apartment was in complete darkness, I threw open the door and ran for the bedroom. Once I turned on the bedroom light, I pulled back the curtains and waved to Edward. I watched as he ducked his head down a little and hunched his body forward, so that he could see me better. When he waved back, I ran around to the closet and grabbed a large gym bag, which I always kept packed, for moments like this, ran for the bedroom door and smacked right into Jakes muscular chest.

"You're home baby. I was so worried about you. Are you alright? Where have you been?" His sweet, calm, voice cooed as I tried to pull back from his embrace.

"Jake, I'm not home. I just came to get some of my things." I whispered as he stared down at me.

"Please, I'll be better. I love you, please don't leave me Izzy." He cried.

My heart was breaking. How could he always do that? _No Bella be strong._

"Yeah, fucking right, you always say, that you'll be better….Better at what, your beatings? I don't fucking think so!" I huffed, trying to free myself from his strong embrace.

As I struggled to free myself, Jake lowered his face to mine. My face thrashed back and forth, trying my best to escape his sloppy kiss, but I was too weak. He grabbed my chin in his brute hand with force, crashed his lips to mine and thrust his disgusting tongue down the back of my throat. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop the kiss from happening.

After a few minutes, he realized that I wasn't kissing him back. "Didn't you miss me?" He asked.

"No!" I huffed as he pulled back from me and punched the wall, startling me and forcing me to fall back onto the bed.

Jake smiled and walked over to me and before I knew it, he was hovering over my body.

"Jake, get the fuck off of me!" I screamed.

"You want me…I know you do. Oh Izzy, I've missed you." He grunted kissing my neck as I fought back with all my strength.

I knew in that moment, that if I didn't do something quick, Edward would come up here and that hell that I was afraid of...That hell would reside in my bedroom.

"Jake, you're right, I've missed you so much, but slow down baby…..It's been a while. I want to show you how much I love you." I smiled sweetly, holding back the vomit that threatened to spew from my mouth.

"Who's looking after the bar?" I asked.

"Alice." He confirmed with a smile as I nodded and smiled back.

"Wonderful, a night off, why don't you go and run us a nice hot bath and I'll put on some of that lingerie that you love?" I smiled as I palmed the side of his face.

"Alright, but don't be too long." His brows furrowed as I felt his erection, slip off of my leg.

As I heard the water start, I looked out the window to see Edward standing beside his car. I placed my hand up and used my middle and index finger, making them move back and forth, which looked like legs walking, to notify him that I was coming down stairs. He nodded and got back into his car.

"As I approached the bedroom door, I hollered, "Baby, play some music!"

As the music started to play, I walked slowly across the hall, stepping over the creaks in the floor boards…something I had learned to do so long ago. Turned the door handle, shifted the gym bag on my shoulder and slowly closed the door behind my exit. I turned, took five steps and heard the apartment door open. I froze on the second landing and looked up at Jakes furious eyes and ran for it.

I could hear Jakes heavy feet behind me catching up and even though I had no more strength in my legs, I dug deep and picked up the fucking pace. As I reached the front door, I stumbled and fell to the ground, scrambled to get up and ran around the corner.

I could still hear Jake behind me screaming, "Isabella, get fucking back here!" "You fucking bitch, I'm going to kill you!" His words lit a fire under my ass.

As I approached Edward's car I screamed, "Start the fucking car!" He did and when I got in and we speed off. I ducked so Jake wouldn't know I was in the car. I watched Jake stand in the middle of the street, pulling at his hair and screaming like fucking 'King Kong' out of the review mirror as we drove away, until he was completely out of my sight.

I don't know what it was, relief, despair, grief, failure, or the fact that I was now completely on my own, but the tears didn't stop coming. I curled up into my seat, trying to hold myself together, when I felt Edward's hand reach into mine. I looked down at it and pulled his arm in closer like it was my own personal teddy bear. He pulled me in under his arm and told me that the life I had known, may have ended, but that it was just the beginning of something bigger and better for me. I smiled up at him when he said, "When one door closes another shall open."

When we got back to Edward's apartment, he carried my duffle bag and I suddenly felt saddened that all my things fit into one single gym bag. He placed my belongings down onto his bed, cleared out a few of his dresser drawers for me and ran me a bath. When I followed him into the bathroom, he had poured some bubble bath into his Jacuzzi tub and lit a few candles, as well as turned his iPod on, playing some soft music. _Was this guy for real?_

He left me alone in the bathroom with my own thoughts and as I started to soak, I could hear the rain outside. I closed my eyes and submerged myself completely, enjoying the sounds of the rain drops hitting the tin gutters; it was relaxing. There was something in the air tonight, besides the moisture, which gave me the feeling that today was going to be different. Yesterday had been an absolute disaster, ending in a fight with Jake and then again this morning with Edward.

Edward was the kind of man that I knew I should love. The first moment I laid eyes on him, I knew that he was going to change my life, but I didn't know just how much he would in fact change it. Our first kiss was earth fucking shattering and when we were together, it was as if no one else existed in the world, but there was Jake, my husband who I had dated since my freshmen year in high school.

I thought back to that time; when Jake was the all around typical stud and every girl in fucking school wanted him, but I just had to fucking have him. In the beginning my attraction to Jake was pure sport, but eventually I found myself falling in love with him. He was so sweet, brought me flowers every Friday, when he would pick me up in his father's rundown Chevy truck, and took me to the same restaurant for dinner.

When Jake had asked me to marry him, I knew then that I didn't want to, but I felt like I had been with him for so long, that I owed him that much. Something was missing back then in our relationship, excitement, mystery, understanding….I don't know, but it was enough to make me second guess myself. My father had told me that I just had cold feet, that it was normal and that I would marry Jake and once we had been husband and wife for a while, I would look back on this moment and laugh at how silly I was being…..Well I was fucking looking back now and I should have listened to my gut instincts.

I wanted, safety, understanding, emotional support and of all things love. Was that too much to ask? Edward provided all of these things for me, except the love part of course. He also made me feel, alive, free and slightly guilty for what I had done. He was a constant reminder that I had cheated on Jake, but also a constant reminder that there _was _good men out there.

When my bath water became cold I got out, tied my hair into a pony tail, slipped on my night gown, which just covered my ass and approached the door. Before I had a chance to open the door, Edward knocked on it. When I opened it, his arms were resting on the frame and his head was bowed.

"Are you alright? I heard you crying and well…" He stammered as he looked up at me.

I couldn't believe that he had heard me over the music. I must have been crying harder than I thought. What the hell was wrong with me? I had always been so god damn strong, where had that Bella run off to?

"I'm fine Edward." I smiled as he thrust his arms around me.

He didn't say a word, he just held me in his arms, applying just the right amount of pressure that I needed. I wanted to tell him that he didn't need to comfort me, but as his skin saturated mine, it didn't matter anymore….no words needed to be said.

After a long, silent embrace, Edward took in a large whiff of my hair and released his warm embrace from me. He smiled that crocked sexy ass smile of his that made me weak in the knees and scooped me into his arms effortlessly from the bathroom floor. He carried me into his bedroom and placed me gently onto the bed.

I sat up onto my elbows as he hovered hesitantly above me. I calmly pulled at Edward's dress shirt, unbuttoning each button as I stared directly into his eyes, exposing his tight illuminating skin. I slid my hand under the cotton material and slid his shirt over his shoulders until his chest was bare, tossing it to the side.

He continued to stare, never once breaking our eye connection, which I found to be erotic and something very new for me. I had always closed my eyes, while fucking Jake, because I didn't want to see his disgusting face. This…what Edward and I were sharing was so different….so sensual…so god damn orgasmic.

I reached down and unbuttoned his pants slowly, waiting to see if he was going to stop me, but he just kept staring. I slid them down his muscular lean legs, never taking my eyes from his and lovingly reached for the back of his neck, pulling his face down towards me to steal a much over due kiss from his moistened lips.

As his lips melted into mine, he pressed himself gently on top of me and together we lied back down, lips still attached. When Edward broke our kiss his face hovered only inches from my own and touched my face gently, running his hand down my dampened body, feeling my curves and on the way back up, his hand entered inside my night gown. As he reached my breasts he stopped to pull my nighty over my now untidy hair.

The next few moments seemed like hours as Edward took his time kissing every inch of my exposed skin. As he made his way back up to my supple breasts he took a moment to gaze upon them before forcing his mouth around my right nipple, while massaging the left one with his hand. As I squirmed in pleasure, I ran my fingers through his mane, caressing his head, down to the back of his neck.

Edward slowly migrated down my chest to my stomach and paused, hovering over my now swollen and moist pussy lips. He let a hiss escape his mouth, as his hands gripped my hips, pulling me down closer and lifted my pelvis into the air. Edward then took advantage of my lower half being so close to his face and kissed my inner thighs ever so gently, licking over my plumb lower lips, causing me to shiver slightly from the warmness of his breath.

I couldn't take it any longer and shouted, "Give it to me Edward…Now!"

As I commanded he looked up from his current fixation and climbed his way back up my body, sliding his stiffened member along my thighs, until it had meet with my center. I gasped as his swollen knob met with my wet, tight hole. My muscles tightened around his cock as he penetrated deeper into my canal.

With one leg on the floor for leverage, and his knee on the mattress for support, he slowly plunged into my pussy, causing me to grip onto his muscular back. Edward leaned down and kissed my lips once more, and while I moaned into his mouth he grabbed my left leg and forced it over his shoulder, enabling him to become more immersed into my warm pussy.

As he withdrew from my mouth to look me in the eyes, I stared back at him and caressed the side of his chiseled jaw, pulling him down once more, to embrace me once again in his passionate kissing.

Edward picked up a rhythm of slow and steady thrust, it was phenomenal. I had never experience such passion, such desire, such need in all of my life. He thrust his massive member one more time, sending both of us into a convulsion of ecstasy.

I cummed so hard that my body shook and shivered, as my eyes turned into little slits and rolled to the back of my head. I could feel his cock thicken, pulsate as his seed erupted, coating my walls and filling me up completely. I had never felt so full in all of my life.

Edward collapsed on the bed beside me, exhausted and breathing loudly. Soon I felt the side of his face on my chest, his face rising and falling with every one of my deep breaths. As soon as our breathing had slowed, Edward looked up at me as I smiled widely and he returned it.

After a sustained amount of silence, Edward forced himself into a sitting positioning, his back against the head board of the bed and reached out for my hand. I took it as he pulled me in under his arm, never letting go of his strong hand.

"That's how it should be….how it's meant to be." He whispered as he looked me in the eye.

I gazed into Edward's gleaming green eyes and just nodded in agreement. He smiled and kissed me again on the lips. I felt comfort in his arms, and this... scared the hell out of me. I didn't want to get attached to Edward…I was scared that he would wake up one day and realize that I was the worst mistake he had ever made.

In the short amount of time that I had known Edward, he had taken the hardness that I built and hammered it down like he was a fucking jack hammer. Never in all my life had someone been able to soften me and I hated it. I need to remain strong I needed to get the hell out of here and be that independent women I knew I could be.

I realized in that moment that, that piece of my life that I was missing, resided in Edward and I was too afraid to look beyond what was familiar and safe to me to just go with it. I needed to stop this….whatever the fuck we were doing before it got too out of hand, before he…god help me….told me that he loved me and wanted more. I just couldn't deal with all this shit right now.

Edward was the kind of man that every women should want to marry, but I had already went down that path and look where it got me…broke, on the verge of a divorce, having an affair and completely and emotionally fucked up.

Edward had succeeded on what he set out to do, I was leaving Jake. Now it was my turn to do what I had promised and protect Edward from myself. He had done so much for me that I owed him this much.

I stared up at him as he looked at me adoringly. This….this face right here…this heart….this fucking beautiful man….leaving him would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Harder than Jake and even harder than Izzy's, but it was better to end it all now, rather than having to endure the suffering, that would accompany it later on down the road.

How did I fucking get here? My head was on a constant roller coaster ride and I feared that some day, it would break down at the very top and I would be stuck wallowing in my own self pity for the rest of my miserable fucking life.

The bottom line came down to…I couldn't rely on any man, not Jake, not my dad and defiantly not Edward…..I needed to stand on my own two feet, for once in my fucking life and once I had mastered that….who knows what else I could do.

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**Okay, so this chapter was a little lighter then the first two, but as I said as Bella's emotional roller coaster continues the chapters will go up and down, to simulate her 'highs and lows.' **

**I hope that you all enjoyed it as per usual. **

**One more thing if you're new to my stories, you can find my home page link on my profile. **

**Once you're at my website click on the tab..My story inspired by Twilight and there you will find, Video's pic's and so much more. **

**Recently a fellow Writer/Reader sent me a banner she created to go along with MP, SexyLexiCullen thanks again. **

**Along side her banner is one that I created as well. Hope you enjoy them all.**

**You can also follow me on twitter, for all updates and banter :) parsonsapril **

**Remember to review and share. I look forward to receiving all of your reviews and thoughts…until next time FF…April**


	4. Chapter 4 Friendship

**Chapter 4**

**Friendship

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, violent scenes and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**I'm going to keep this A/N short. What you are about to read my upset you, so when you get to the violent aspect and you're not comfortable with it, I ask that you skip it. The detail is described more as an 'after affect', rather then explaining in detail what is happening, while it is happening.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**I'm sorry for the delay on the chapters. My Beta is attending University and her time is now cut in half. Also I'm still trying to finish up The rise of a new beginning. March has been a bitch for me...The Flu, 2week cold, and my wisdom tooth extraction. I hope to finish up Rise next week and place all my attention on MP. **

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. I'm blown away, by all of you!**

**To my lady's on Twitter, you guys are just phenomenal. **

**My beta and good friend Dee, who makes my stories so much better**

**My husband for never fucking treating me this way. I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my life. **

**That's it…on with it….Happy reading…..April

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**Bella's Point Of View**

When I woke the next morning, I woke up alone in Edward's bed. I turned to the alarm clock and fell out of the bed; it was just past eleven o'clock in the morning. I couldn't remember the last fucking time I had slept in so late.

After wondering around the apartment cleaning up absolutely fucking nothing…Edward kept the place so damn clean…I became board out of my fucking tree.

I was never much for T.V. Izzy's had taken up most of my time, so that was a big fucking no…hell no. Edward had many books, but nothing at all that interested me, so I turned on some music, plunked myself and my cell phone, down onto the couch.

I had been dreading turning this fucking thing on, ever since I left Jake. When my phone chimed to life, I took in a deep breath, preparing myself for all the fucked up messages, I was sure, were going to be waiting for me.

One hundred and fifty three text messages and sixty five voice mail messages, was what awaited me. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I huffed.

As I began suffering through, each threatening text message from Jake, I came across one from my father.

_**Bell's call me. I'm worried. Whatever is going on between you and Jake, you can work it out. Just tell him that you're sorry, kiss and make up. Love you Dad**_**.**

Pft, that's just like my dad, to think our problems were because of me. Jake was perfect in my father's eyes and my father would never take off his rose tinted, fucking glasses.

"Wake up Dad; he beat your fucking baby!" I screamed at the phone, while strangling it with my hands as if it was my father's neck.

I knew that Jake would have called my father. Told him whatever fucking bullshit story, he had concocted, just so my father would talk me into going back home. Well fuck Jake and fuck my father too. They could all go to hell as far as I was concerned. This time…this hour….minute…day…was mine, not theirs and I was going to own this fucking day!

I was scanning through each text and each one making me madder by the fucking second, when I came across one that stopped my heart from fucking beating.

_**Izzy, I know you're pissed at me, but Izzy's caught fire last night and I need you back at the bar to talk with the insurance guy. He'll be here at 3pm. I'm sorry, I love you, Jake. **_

I ran around Edward's apartment, threw on some close and left him a quick note, before I left the apartment. When the elevator doors opened into the main lobby, I spotted that Felix guy, standing by the front door.

"Excuse me, Felix." I smiled as he turned to address me.

"Can I help you ma'am?" He asked politely.

"Yes, could you call me a cab please?" I asked as he nodded and waved down a cab for me. I thanked him as I entered and told the cab driver that I was headed to Forks.

I couldn't, fucking believe that the cab ride had cost me nearly two hundred fucking dollars. After I was finished here and headed back to Seattle my eight hundred dollars, would be a measly four. What the fuck was I going to do for money? How the hell was I going to pay for an apartment? Fuck it, I'll scoop some more from the bar. I guess the insurance check would help out after all.

When I turned around Izzy's looked to be in one piece. There was no damage on the outside; I could only hope that the place wasn't too destroyed on the inside. I took in a deep breath and walked in the front door.

The moment I entered, everything looked to be in one piece, there were even customers sitting at tables, drinking. What the fuck? I had been duped. Jake was smiling wide from behind the bar, but I wasn't fucking smiling. As I turned for the door, I could hear him hollering at me.

"Izzy, wait!" His sickening, fucking voice called after me.

I should have kept going, but I didn't. I just stood there with my back towards him.

"What do you want Jake?" I huffed out angrily.

"I know I lied and I know that you're pissed, but I didn't know how else to get you to come home. Please just talk to me." He whispered out as he placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him.

"Please Izzy, I'm miserable without you. I promise, no more women and I promise I will never lay a hand on you again. You know I love you, right?" He asked as I eyed his tortured face.

"I know that you used to love me Jake. What you did, that's not love and I can't live like that anymore." I whispered as he nodded.

"I'll get help. I'll see a professional…if that's what you want. Do you want me to get on my hands and knees and beg you to come back, because that's what I'll do….Please come home….I love you…I can't live without you…..You're my whole fucking world." He shot out each word with such, honesty and rawness. He was a man striped to the bone and my heart was fucking breaking.

I loved Jake, so very long ago and even though that love had faltered, he still owned a piece of my heart. We had been together forever and as much as I hated the 'new Jake', I still wanted to believe that the 'old Jake' would come back to me some day.

"You still love me, I know you do." He chocked out as his saddened eyes wondered my face.

"I did love you Jake, but I fell out of love with you. You're not the boy I fell in love with. I want that Jake back, and I'm afraid that I will never see him again." I spoke tenderly as he got down on his knees and took my hand into his.

"Please Izzy, come home to me. I'll make you love me all over again. I'll be the husband that you deserve…Please….I can't fucking lose you." He cried as my heart sank, to the bottom of my stomach.

I stared down at his dark brown eyes. They were the eyes that use to be able to stare into the depths of my soul. They were soft, kind, loving and caring. I owed it to myself and to Jake to try one last time.

My family loved him, my friends loved him, I had loved him and perhaps I could learn to love him once more.

"Alright Jake, I'll come home." I whispered as he smiled and kissed me hard.

"Under a few conditions and the first time you fuck even one of those up, I'm gone like that." I snapped my fingers as he nodded.

"What are your conditions?" He smiled and pulled me in under his arm, as we strolled towards the bar.

"No more women. No more hitting. No more drugs. No more controlling. You get professional help and you let me simply live." I named all my conditions off, on each one of my fingers as I said them. "Can you do that Jake?" I asked as he nodded.

"I mean can you really do that? Not like before, say you'll do one thing and then do the opposite?" I eyed him as his eyes narrowed in on mine.

"I promise Izzy. I want us to go back to the way everything was, before the bar. Before we were so stressed out all the time and before well…everything." He spoke from the heart.

"If selling the place will help you be less stressed, we can do that." I looked up at him as he shook his head no.

"You love the place, we can't do that." He spoke softly.

"Okay then, I can look after most of it by myself." I confirmed.

"We'll talk about it later. Come say hello to Alice, she's been worried sick about you." He smiled sweetly as we approached the bar.

"Look whose back." Jacob hollered out to Alice.

"Oh fuck, I've fucking missed you. Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again!" She huffed out slapping me on the arm, with a bar rag.

"I missed you too, but remember who your boss is." I scolded.

"Ha! You have no hired help, you fucking need me. That's why I get away with what I do." She laughed pulling me into an embrace.

I chuckled lightly and pulled on a black apron and went right to work. I caught Jake a couple of times looking at me and smiling. It felt like we were those two high school kids all over again. Steeling quick glances, giggling at nothing and I couldn't remember the last time, Jake had made me feel like this.

When the night had come to an end and the last customer had finally left, my cell started to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the caller Id. Fuck it was Edward. Time had gotten away from me and I had forgotten to call him.

"Everything alright?" Jake asked.

"Yep. Just my dad, I'm going to take it in the office." I told him as he nodded and started counting tonight's profits.

I quickly closed the door behind me and answered the phone.

"Hello." I whispered.

"Bella, Thank fucking god, I was just about to call the police." He franticly spoke.

"Yeah I'm sorry, I lost track of time." I whispered again, watching Jake count out the float in the security monitors.

"It's alright, I'm about three blocks away, grab your shit and meet me by the play structure." He rushed out.

Fuck this wasn't good. "How's the bar?" He asked.

"In one piece." I answered.

"I knew that fucker was tricking you." He hissed out.

"Edward, turn around and go home. I'm going to try and work things out with my husband." I huffed out more angrily then what was necessary, but I needed to get my point across.

"You're going to what?" He asked.

"Listen, I told you what this was. Thank you Edward, for everything, go home." I whispered.

"Come on Bella, you know he's going to do it again. I'm almost there, just get in the fucking car and leave that fucking bastard." He screamed into the phone as I watched Jake in the monitor, approaching the office door.

"I can't Edward. Go home, now!" I whispered back and hung up the phone, just as Jake entered into the office.

"Everything okay, with your Pop's?" Jake asked with a worried expression on his face.

"You know Dad," I shrugged. "He'll get over it." Jake nodded and took my hand in his.

As we wondered around the bar in total darkness, I noticed flashing head lights alongside the bar. Fuck me; this wasn't going to be fucking good.

"Shit baby, I forgot to turn off the office lights. You go ahead up and I'll be right behind you." I smiled as he eyed me.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Five minutes and I'll be up." I smiled sweetly kissing him on the lips.

"Alright, but if you're more than five, I'm coming down to get you." He warned as I looked him in the eye.

"A little trust, you promised." I reminded him as he nodded heading for the front door. As he stood in front of it, with his hand on the door handle he turned slightly and said, "I love you."

"I love you too babe, now go. I'll be up in a few minutes." I chuckled, the best I could as I started for the bar.

When he walked out the door I turned around and ran to the side door. The moment my fucking foot touched the first step, Edward was out of his car and headed towards me. He grabbed my arm roughly and tugged me towards his car.

"Get in the fucking car!" He hissed as I pulled back my arm.

"Now who's being all dramatic and shit?" I yelled out. "I'm not going anywhere with you. Drop my shit off at the front desk of your lobby and I'll come and pick it up tomorrow." I instructed.

"What kind of fucking mind control does this guy have over you…huh?" He yelled out, tapping his index finger off of his temple.

"He doesn't control me Edward. I told you, what we did was just a fuck. I will always come back to my husband. You're better off without me fucking up your life. Find yourself a good woman and forget about me." I begged.

He took a step back from me, eyeing me in disbelief as he huffed out, "If that's not mind control, I don't fucking know, what is. You're brain washed little girl. If you think for one fucking second, that he's going to change, you're sadly fucking mistaking." He spewed out his hateful words as he jumped back into his car, slamming the door, squealed his tires, and drove right out of my life.

I sighed as I watched his tail lights, disappear into the night. I must be going out of my fucking mind. Why had I called up a complete stranger, who I had an affair with to help me with my Jake situation? Now I had hurt him, pissed him the fuck off and not only did I feel bad for what I had done to Jake, but I now had the privilege of knowing I had hurt a good fucking man like Edward. Better now than later on down the road I suppose. It was bound to end horribly and at least this way, he would get over me quickly. Me on the other hand, I wasn't so sure I would get over Edward Cullen.

He had taken this once hard woman and broke her down into a fucking sap. I chuckled shaking my head as I entered back into the bar. Just think what he could have done in just under a month, if I lived with him. It was crazy to think about a life with Edward.

A life with Edward was nothing but a fucking fantasy, a fairytale and there was no, fucking happy endings for Bella Black. The only thing I had to look forward to was, slinging beer and praying like hell that Jake would finally, make good on all his promises.

When I entered into the apartment, Jake was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He looked up as I closed the door and ran to my side, holding onto me as he sobbed about how he didn't think I was coming back and stroked my hair, tenderly. I shushed him and took him by the hand, towing him towards the bedroom.

We had sex that night, and I felt like a total fucking whore. The entire time I kept my eyes closed, picturing Edward. After a few weeks had passed Jake was improving, showing a 'new side' of himself. Things were getting better and I now had hope that we would have that marriage, I had always dreamed about. It finally looked like I was about to get everything I had wished for and some.

Today, the bar was slow, but Sam was drunker then a fucking skunk and I had to throw his ass to the curb. As he entered outside the bar, he fell down hitting his head on the concrete steps and split his head, wide fucking open. I moaned and helped him up, yelling for Jake to call an ambulance. When the ambulance arrived they told me that they were going to have to make a report to the police.

Jake was completely pissed off when the police showed up and told us that we were going to be fined, two thousand dollars, for over serving and this time, our liquor license was going to be suspended, until the judge made his ruling. The police then asked for all the video tapes for the last two months. They needed them for court and I suddenly became very uneasy.

I knew that Jake was going to go over those DVD's, one by fucking one, to make sure there was no, drug dealings caught on camera, and this meant he was about to see Edward and I fucking on the bar.

"I'll do it baby." I eyed him, as he shook his head no and headed for the office.

Twenty minutes had passed before Jake arrived before us. He didn't look mad and internally I hoped that, that night the camera wasn't fucking on.

"There are a few days that are missing, because we tape over them." Jake shrugged as he handed, numerous DVD's over to the officer.

"Alright, hand over the license." The officer instructed and when Jake did so, taking it off of the wall, the officer instructed that everyone had to leave.

A few customers gave the officer the finger, others called him a fucking pig, while other completely ignored him all together and he had to call for back up. When the bar was completely shut down, I told Jasper that we would pay him for the whole night and instructed him to pack up his shit.

Jake wasn't saying anything, so I felt it best not to bring anything up. If I did, I would just look suspicious. As I came around the other side of the bar, I wrapped my arm around Jakes waist.

"It'll be alright baby, you'll see." I smiled as he slammed his fist down onto the counter. His violent action caught me off guard and made me jump, right where I stood.

"Everyone get the fuck out….Now!" Jake screamed, while Alice and Jasper stormed out the side door.

"Baby, it's really not that bad." I tried to calm him rubbing my hand up and down his arm, only for him to snap his arm away from me.

I stood there watching as he locked one door after another and when the last door was locked he looked at me. His eyes were so cold, so empty, that they forced me to stay frozen where I stood.

"After everything that I have done….after trying to change myself for you…you go and fuck that Edward guy!" He huffed as he headed towards the bar.

"Ja..k….e…I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I love you baby, that's why I came back. Can't we please just leave the past in the past?" I asked out nervously.

"You're a fucking whore!" He screamed, wiping his arms across a table and sending the various glasses, and beer bottles to shatter across the front of the bar.

"Jake I'm sorry." I sobbed as he picked up another beer bottle and threw it towards my head. I ducked out of the way as it shattered just above my head. Now I was pissed.

"You have some fucking nerve asshole! You fucked how many women and I'm the fucking whore? Fuck you!" I screamed as I headed for the back door.

I didn't make it too far, before Jake had the back of my hair, tangled in his full-size hand. I pulled and tugged trying to free myself as he drug me back towards the bar.

"Did you enjoy it?" He growled as spit spewed out of his mouth.

"Yes, Edward was the best fuck, I've ever fucking had." I smiled and felt Jake's hand wrap around my throat.

His face turned red as his hold became stronger and I gasped for air. His arm lifted me from the ground and then he threw me down, onto the top of the bar, followed by him on top of me.

"You like being treated like a whore?" He shot out as, his hand tightened around my throat.

I kicked and squirmed below him. As he leaned down to kiss me, I spit in his face, earning me multiple blows to the face. The next thing I know I woke up in a hospital bed. Apparently Jacob had beaten me so badly, that he fractured three of my ribs, broke my nose and one of my ribs broke and punctured into my lung.

The doctor said that he hoped they catch my attacker. Apparently Jake had called an ambulance when my breathing had become shallow and I was non-coherent. He told the police that someone was in the bar when I was closing down alone and attacked me. He told them that he had found me this way.

I don't know what the fuck happened to me. In that moment I was no longer Bella. I was no longer human. I was nothing. I had no feelings, I couldn't even fucking cry because I was so fucking lost and I knew that I deserved this.

The doctors wanted to keep me in the hospital for a day or so for observations. Jake sent me some flowers. The card said that he was sorry and that he was ashamed of himself for what he had done. When I got released he wanted to try again.

As I put the card down onto the table the nurse came in and told me that my husband was here to see me. I smiled and sat up on the bed and told her to send him in. But what walked in wasn't my husband, it was Edward. His arms were full of red roses, but when he turned around from closing the door, his eyes twisted up in pain as the roses fell to the floor and his jaw clenched as he grinded his teeth. I curled up in a fetal position on the small hospital bed, turning to face the wall and pulled, that thin ass blanket, over myself.

"Bella." He started.

"It's alright Edward, you need to go now." I waved him off as I felt his hand tangle into mine.

"Bella, look at me love." He whispered as I turned slowly towards him.

His eyes tightened again as he hissed out, "That's it. I'm going to put one hell, of a fucking beating on this fucking guy!" He screamed.

"No Edward, please. Leave Jake alone. He didn't mean to, it was an accident." I pleaded with him.

"How did you know I was here anyway?" I asked, trying to change to subject.

"Rosalie came into my office this morning, crying and asking me if she could take a personal day. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that her friend Bella was in the hospital. I gave her the day off and cleared my schedule for the rest of the day. I just fucking knew that, that fucker did this to you." He growled under his breath as I looked him in the eye.

"Edward, go home. Please. This doesn't concern you." I eyed him as his face turned hard.

"How can you, just expect me to fucking leave and do nothing?" He spat.

"Because Edward it's none of your fucking business, that's how, now get the fuck out!" I huffed, pointing at the door, eyeing him while he stormed off towards it.

He stopped long enough to pick up the roses and threw them in the trash bin beside the door. "When will you fucking wake up?" He asked over his shoulder.

"When will you?" I asked in return as he stormed out of the door.

**Edward's Point Of View**

When Bella didn't come back with me that night, I spent the rest of the week completely miserable. It was like knowing that I had sent her into her own death. If something ever happened to her, I would feel like a fucking asshole. I should have tried harder, I should have forced her ass to get in the car, but she wasn't mine and this was what she wanted.

I knew it was wrong, so fucking terribly wrong, and I knew that she would end up in the hospital sooner rather than later. The day Rosalie had come into my office, crying like I've never seen anyone cry before; I just fucking knew that something had happened to Bella. When she confirmed my fears and told me that Bella was in the hospital, I gave her the day off and cleared my schedule, with the intent to go down to that hospital and see her for myself.

I knew that she didn't want me, she hadn't called in three weeks and I knew that it was possible that Jake would be there, but I couldn't shake the feelings I was having. What if she was too proud to ask for help? What if she lost my phone number? What if she didn't have the money to get back to my place? How bad was she? Was she in a coma? Was she near death? No I had to go down there, see her and take the fucking risk.

I stopped by a local flower shop and picked up three dozen roses. I didn't know much about Bella….whether or not she even like flowers. What her favorite flower was if she did, so I went safe and bought red roses.

I had lied to the nurse, and told her that I was Bella's husband because I knew, that Jake would have instructed the hospital, to not allow any visitors. I knew his kind, he was a sick motherfucker and I was going to show him what a beating was all about. Sure enough the nurse smiled after I flirted with her a bit and told me that no one else had been in to see Bella, as was instructed by me.

I had prepared myself for a black eye a few bruises, but nothing could prepare me for the, heartbreaking scene before me. Jake had taken this beauty and pounded the shit out of her, like he was a tenderizing, a fucking stake. Her face was swollen so bad it looked like she had been stung by thousands of bee's and black, my god her face was more colors then a fucking rainbow. Her smile faded when I walked in the room and she turned to face the wall, hiding herself from me.

Every fiber in my fucking body wanted to leave that hospital, and rip that fucking bastard apart, but when I saw how ashamed she was of herself, I couldn't leave. When she told me that this was none of my business and to fucking leave, I was furious. Not because she didn't want me to be there, but because this fucking man, had taken everything from this women. It was almost as if he had taken a knife and skinned her down to the fucking bone. There was nothing left of her. She felt like she deserved what he gave her, he had completely brain washed her and I was tired of sitting back and allowing this to happen. If she wasn't going to help herself, I was going to fucking do it for her.

Before I had a chance to think everything over, I was speeding down the roads of Forks. As I pulled alongside the bar, I sat in my car for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. If I went in there, there was no turning back and I figured he would take it out on Bella.

I was tired of thinking. After I was done confronting the bastard, I was calling Chief Swan and telling him what was going on. I knew that Bella said he wouldn't believe her, but what if an 'innocent' bystander told him that he witnessed the beating? Perhaps he would make a report and put a restraining order on Jake. One thing was for sure, if Chief Swan refused to listen, I was going to call the Seattle police. This shit was going to end today.

I unclenched my hands from my steering wheel, adrenaline rushing through my body as I reached the side door to Izzy's. I swung the glass door open in a fit of rage and it shattered as it connected with the hand railing outside, winning me a few glances from some onlookers.

Jake came running and when he spotted me he stopped dead in his tracks. My chest was heaving, my blood pressure rising and as the fucker smirked at me, my head was ready to fucking explode.

"You fucking bastard…you think you're fucking tough, beating on fucking women?" I screamed as his smile faded.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" He huffed back as I noticed his fist clenching at his sides.

"Oh that's right, you're such a fucking pussy, that you can't even own up to it, and tell everyone, that you like beating on your fucking wife!" I screamed.

What came out of Jakes mouth next, both shocked the shit out of me and took me off guard.

"You have some fucking nerve asshole, coming in my fucking bar after you fucked my wife!" He screamed as everyone gasped and looked at me.

Jasper's band had stopped playing and I watched as Jasper came to my aid.

"Jake come on man, I'm sure you're just mistaken." Jasper spoke calmly, looking to me from Jakes side.

"Admit it, you fucked my wife!" He screamed.

"I fucked your wife more than once. Where do you think she went, when she left your fucking ass?" I screamed back as Jake's massive frame, tackled me to the ground.

I felt blow after fucking blow as his fists connected with my face. All I could do was laugh, which forced his blows to come on stronger. There was no way I could beat Jake as the rage filled him completely. Jasper and a big guy named Emmett, which Jake kept hollering at to let him go, pulled him off of me.

When I stood on my own two feet, I told them both to let the fucker go. This time when he came at me, I was no longer caught of guard, I was ready for him.

Jake was momentarily distracted by the shouts and hollers from the rapidly growing crowd. Figures that he would love the catcalls and cheers of encouragement to boost his fucking ego. As the crowd continued to encourage him, my leg swept out in a wide, graceful art, connecting with Jake's ankle, throwing him off balance, without even realizing what had exactly happened.

After Jake had found himself flat on his fucking back, sucking in deep breaths of air, my foot came down hard, only for him to roll out of the way, avoiding a kick to the ribs. I caught a glimpse of him moving sneakily behind me and chose that moment to strike first.

As he lunged forward, with an outstretched leg, I caught his ankle and yanked his feet from beneath him. Jake pitched backwards, arms flailing and smacked his head off of the ground. I leaped on top of him ramming my fist into his fucking face and continued to punch until I was sure that he was down for good. I didn't pause to savor my victory; I just kept hitting him, until Jasper and Emmett pulled me off of Jake's, lifeless body.

I twisted myself from their hold, my shoulders shrugging as I tried to straighten out my jacket. "Fucking touch her again asshole and there's more where that came from!" I hollered kicking him in the ribs as he groaned and rolled around on the floor.

"I think you better leave, before the crowd gets rowdy." Jasper whispered as I turned my focus from him and looked around the bar.

A few of the bikers were punching their fists into their palms and I knew that I was fucking dead if I didn't fucking leave. "Alright" I said as I bent down to Jakes level.

"Look at me!" I hollered as his eyed zeroed in on me, with so much rage. "Look at the face that's going to take your wife from you. If you want to fucking hit anyone, I'll be around you fucking pussy." I spit as I stood and headed for the door.

I tore out of my parking spot and headed straight for the Forks police station. Once I was in there I asked the receptionist to talk to Chief Swan. She told me that he was currently busy and I told her politely that I didn't give two fucking shits, that this concerned his daughter. She nodded and headed into the office behind her.

After a few minutes I watched a tall, dark haired man, with a distinct mustache come waltzing out. "Can I help you?" He asked.

"Chief Swan?" I asked as he nodded.

"I have some information about your daughter's attacker." I confirmed as he handed me a few napkins to wipe the blood from my lip and escorted me into his office.

"Alright take a seat Mr…" He started to address me.

"Mr. Cullen….Edward Cullen." I confirmed as his eyes opened wide in shock.

"The Edward Cullen as in Cullen and Son's?" He asked.

"Yes, the very one." I grumbled.

"Right, well Mr. Cullen, what do you know about the man that attacked my daughter?" He coughed clearing out his throat as he pulled out a tinny black pad and pencil.

"I saw the whole thing." I lied. "It was her husband Jacob Black." I confirmed watching as his eyes squinted and he closed the black book.

"Listen, I think you're mistaken. Jake is a good man and he would never do anything like that. He knows that I would put his ass behind bars if he ever so much as touched my daughter." He informed.

"Good to hear, Chief Swan because that's exactly what he did." I explained as he still continued to stare at me like I was from another fucking planet.

"What happened to your face son?" He asked.

"Complements of your son in law." I smiled wiping the blood away.

"I think you better start from the beginning." He instructed.

I lied and told him that I was at Izzy's that night and when the bar closed I realized that I had forgotten my jacket. I went back and saw through the glass door, that I had broken no more than fifteen minutes ago, Jake beating the living shit out of her. Of course he was skeptical and asked me why Jake's fists had connected with my face. I went on to tell him that I went there to confront Jake and to tell him that I was going to the police and that my fat lip was the result.

"I see." He sighed.

"I want to press assault charges on Jake as well." I confirmed as he eyed me.

"Do you have witnesses to the event?" He asked as I nodded.

"The bar had customers and my brother Jasper plays in the band there called 'The Covenant.' He'll tell you what happened. So what's next, are you going to put a restraining order on Jake for Bella?" I asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"I think I need to speak with my daughter first and get her side of things." He eyed me as my jaw clenched.

"Please, after me confronting him, he's going to give her a worse beating. She won't tell you the truth!" I huffed.

"And why is that Mr. Cullen?" He asked.

"Because, she'll fucking protect him!" I screamed.

"Calm down son." He instructed of me.

"Fine if you won't help me, or help your fucking daughter, I'm going to get the Seattle police department involved." I shot out standing from my chair and exited his office.

The fucking man never even once, ran after me and I fucking knew that he wasn't going to do anything about it. Well that was just fucking fine, Seattle police here I fucking come.

The whole ride back to Seattle, all I kept thinking about was Bella. I had no fucking idea what this fascination I had for her was. I had never had a 'girlfriend.' College had kept me busy, work took every wakening fucking hour, of my day from me and I use to love it, not having to come home and explain to anyone why I had gotten home so late. That was the lifestyle for me. Everything was fast, food, sleep, and life. The women that I slept with, knew the deal, they were just my 'fuck buddies' and they came back for more, because I never disappointed them.

In the last little while I had…I don't know, grew the fuck up and I was lonely. I had all the money in the fucking world, to make me happy, but if I had no one to share it with, what was the fucking point? I had never wanted to have a girlfriend, get married or a fucking family, but God help me, all those things, would be a hell of a lot easier to have then what I wanted. I wanted something that I just couldn't have…I wanted Bella. She was like the rundown buildings I bought and fixed up; turning them into something beautiful, that people wouldn't have thought twice about before and now could value the beauty that was within. Maybe I'm just a sick fuck who like to fix up broken things…I don't know, but what I did know was that, even if she hated me after all of this, I would at least know that I fucking tired. I could live with that right?

The Seattle police were far more help then Chief Swan. They pressed assault charges against Jake after Jasper agreed that, Jake had thrown the first punch. They informed me that they would have to talk to Bella, before they placed a restringing order on Jake, just to make sure that this was what she wanted. I told the Seattle police about the affair and explained that Bella had come and stayed with me for a little while after he had beaten her the first time. They told me that it was sad that these things happen and most of the time the women always go back to their husbands. The officer told me that the only thing I could do now, was to understand that Bella would most likely go back to her husband and to just be a friend for her, when she needed me.

I thanked him and left the police station, feeling like I fucking did absolutely nothing, to help her. When I arrived back home, Felix greeted me with a smile and told me that he let in my lady caller. I looked to him stunned. I wasn't expecting anyone.

"What lady caller?" I asked as his eyes narrowed in on me.

"Um the dark haired lady, that stayed with you a few weeks ago." He confirmed.

I knew that he meant Bella because I hadn't been with any other women, since I had been with her. I ran for the elevator as I heard Felix apologize.

"No Felix," I turned to him, "This one you let in every time. I don't care what hour it is. Do you understand?" I asked as he smiled, sighed and nodded.

I patted him on the shoulder and told him that he had done a good job. When the elevator opened to my apartment, Bella was sleeping on the couch. I walked over to her and placed my hand gently on her face.

"Bella, Love, wake up." I whispered as she shot up and scowled at me.

"Where do you get off Edward?" She screamed at me.

"What?" I rolled my eyes and took a seat in my chair.

"Jake won't let me come fucking home!" She screamed.

I couldn't fucking believe that she was upset about this…well I guess I could, but she shouldn't be…she should be fucking thanking me.

"Did you put the restraining order on him?" I asked as her eyes bulged out of her head.

"No! And what part of mind your fucking business didn't you understand? How could you go to my father and fucking lie? You don't know what happened Edward. I was attacked by some asshole, when I was closing down!" She screamed.

"Yeah your fuck head, of a fucking husband, that's who fucking attacked you. What would you have me do…huh, sit back and watch as he fucking kills you?" I screamed back at her as she crossed her arms over her chest.

I stood from my chair and walked over to my bedroom. I returned with her belongings and threw the in front of the elevator. She stared at me as my chest rapidly moved up and down.

"Unlike your fucking husband, I won't hold you here against your will. If you don't want to be here, there's the fucking door!" I hissed out, pointing at the bag, while she approached me.

"Edward, what happened to your face?" She asked tenderly touching my bottom lip with the pad of her thumb.

I pulled back from her touching. It felt too good and as much as I wanted to fuck her in that moment, show her what a real man was all about, I couldn't. She needed to know how I felt and that I wasn't playing her fucking little games. I grabbed her wrist and gently placed her arm back at her side.

"Bella, you're married and like you said, you have to figure your shit out. You're more than welcome to stay here, until you do. If you don't want to stay here with me, I would gladly rent you a hotel room, until you've made up your mind, but while you're under my roof there will be no more touching. I can't play this little game anymore." I spoke softly as she scowled at me.

"Game, the only one that's playing a fucking game here is you! I told you what this was from the very fucking beginning!" She screamed back.

"I can't be you're fucking comfort blanket anymore. It's too hard on the fucking brain." I tapped at my temple as her chin started to tremble.

I reached out to pull her into an embrace, when she pulled back from me. "No fucking touching!" She huffed.

I sighed and told her that she could have the bed, she refused of course, stubborn fucking women…and planted herself back onto the couch.

"I thought you had to stay in the hospital for a few days?" I asked as I went to my freezer to get her an ice pack.

"When the police showed up, no thanks to you, I signed myself out." She sighed as I handed her the ice pack. "When I went back home, Jake told me to fucking leave and to never come back. I told my father that you were some stalker, had a crush on me and you wouldn't leave me alone." She chuckled. "He asked me if I wanted to put a restraining order on you. I told him no." She eyed me. I nodded.

"Bella, I'm your friend and friends look out for one another. I'm sorry that I've upset you, but I thought I was doing the right thing." I sighed as she nodded.

"So friends then?" She questioned as I looked up at her.

"Friends." I confirmed, shaking her hand.

Friends, could I pull of such a thing? I had never had any female friends, especially ones that I was fucking. Could I be the nice guy, when all I ever was, was a user? I never valued women; they had all become something that just killed the loneliness, boredom for a few hours at a time. I never hurt them, I was always very honest about our arrangement, but that's all it ever was.

Friends, the kind that just sits there and listens, while the other cries on your shoulder, could I do that? Could I look at her as nothing more than that?

Definition of a friend, a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Who gives assistance; patron; supporter. Who is honest, reliable, and not hostile. Someone who is there, come hell or high water. I suppose I was a better friend then I had given myself credit for.

My mother was my father's friend first and with friendship came love, perhaps Bella would leave Jake and learn to love me someday, but until then I would be the greatest friend she would ever have.

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**Alright that's it. I hope you ah, enjoyed the chapter. For those of you who have not seen MP's latest banner made by the very talented RPattzScene check it out on my home page. Remember to review, they light a fire under my ass ;) Until next time FF…..April**


	5. Chapter 5 ECCA Company

**Chapter 5**

**ECCA Company**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, lemon and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

_ **If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**_

**I'm sorry for the delay on the chapters. Simply put life gets in the way. **

**I'm writing the second last chapter for The rise of a new beginning right now, so it may be just a little while before the next MP post. I won't make you all wait too long I promise. When I have completed Rise I will update MP more often. I just owe it to the readers of Rise to complete it soon. They've been waiting so long for this story to end. **

**I thank you all for you understanding, devotion and patience. Love you all **

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my lady's on Twitter, you guys are just phenomenal. **

**My beta and good friend Dee, who makes my stories so much better.**

**Mydaughterbella for taking on the grammar for me….you are the f'n best. I'm learning so much from both of you.**

**My husband, I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my life. **

**That's it…on with it….Happy reading…..April**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

"Mother fucking son of a bitch!" I screamed as I tried to get up from Edward's leather couch. I should have known better and taken him up on his offer to sleep in his bed. The couch made me sink and it was hard as hell to maneuver around with my broken fucking ribs. How had I gotten myself in this predicament? Why couldn't I just take the fucking hand me out and be grateful for what it was? Instead... I chose to suffer in fucking pain.

"Get your fucking big ass up!" I yelled at myself as I grunted and clung to the back of the couch while trying to pull myself up. It didn't take long before I gave up and let myself fall back again.

_Story of my fucking life_.

"For fuck sakes!" I growled.

"Bella, is everything alright?" I heard Edward's sleepy voice walk out into the living room.

If I wouldn't have had to piss so fucking bad I would've told him to shove it, but, I fucking needed him.

"No... I uh... can't get up. Could you help me?" I grumbled out.

I waited patiently for a few minutes as I heard him stumble and knock a few things over in the dark.

"Fucking hell… ouch… fuck!" He shot out one profanity after the other. I couldn't help but laugh as he continued to practically break his fucking neck trying to get to me.

"Edward, you have to stop. I'm going to piss my fucking pants" I chuckled loudly as steady streams of tears fell from my eyes. "Oh fuck... my ribs!" I laughed harder as I clutched my sides.

When Edward made it to me or should I say fell over the back of the couch and flopped down onto my legs... he was holding his knee while giving me a stern look of warning. His annoyance made me laugh even fucking harder.

"Oh fuck that was good. I haven't laughed like that in forever. Um, Edward, I'm sorry but I've pissed on your couch." I snickered and snorted as I watched his nose curl up in disgust.

"You what?" He yelped as he jumped up and looked at his now very wet ass. It was priceless. His ass was completely covered in my piss... Hilarious!

"Oh, just fucking great! Now it looks like I've pissed myself." He huffed wiping his dampened hands on his lap.

"I'm sorry… I uh had to go and well…. it's your fault" I chuckled as he rolled his eyes and helped me up from the couch.

"I don't have to piss anymore." I snorted as he shot me a small crooked little grin. "I'm sorry about the couch Edward. I'll clean it right away." I smiled amiably as he shook his head no.

"I got it. Go and get yourself cleaned up." He chuckled as I nodded and took off for the shower.

I had no damn idea what time it was. I knew that it was early but still I hadn't had one wink of sleep since we had gone to bed. It was hard knowing that it was just a wall that separated us from one another.

Getting into the shower was easier than getting out. I struggled with the small lip, where the door and metal met. Every single time I went to lift my left foot my ribs ached and pinched. I calculated my steps and looked around the shower to see if there was any other way I could go about it, but the end result was still the same… I needed Edward. Fuck I was so tired of needing him. I had never needed anyone in my whole life.

"Edward!" I bellowed giving the fuck up.

A few minutes passed and there was a knock at the door. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I can't get out of the shower." I informed him and rolled my fucking eyes.

Edward came into the bathroom covering his eyes with his left hand. _As fucking if!_ He had seen it all already.

_What's his fucking deal?_

"A little to the right " I grumbled out my annoyance as his arms flailed away until he had connected with the towel rack.

_This was totally fucking ridiculous._

"Edward it's not like you haven't seen it all before." I spewed as he felt his way around the bathroom and ran the towel across my chest.

I shuttered as the towel fell into my arms and his hand gently caressed my breasts. My nipples hardened into firm peeks just pleading with him to graze them one more time.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry Bella… I didn't mean to I um… yeah I'm just going to turn around." He stuttered as he turned to face the door. I suddenly felt like I needed another shower…_.a cold ass one._

"Okay Edward, the towel's on." I mumbled as he turned around and finally took his hand from his eyes.

The small smirk that occupied his face wasn't at all necessary. I wanted to slap it the fuck off and if it was possible, I'd eat the shit out of it, I'd gobble on it all fucking night long, along with other "qualities" the man possessed.

Edward bent down and put my arm around his neck while placing his right arm just under my ass, alomst like creating a little chair for me in his arms. His musky all natural Edward fragrance was lingering around my nose. My mouth was watering and all I wanted was just a little more of his scent.

_Don't judge me. You know you would've __done it too._

I leaned in closer allowing my face near his neck and when my nose gently grazed the soft velvety skin, I inhaled deeply.

"What the hell was that?" Edward chuckled while he pulled his neck off to one side and coyly looked at me.

I couldn't say anything I just sat there starring at him and fucking blushing.

_I shit you not, red as a fucking tomato._

I hated how this man could make me swoon so easily. It wasn't fucking right. I tell you ladies... the man had to have had some kind of pussy switch.

My pussy was now dripping wet and aching with fucking need. I shook my head quickly. I knew I wanted to work things out with Jake but Edward... my god I wanted Edward in the worst possible way- damn my ribs to hell. What made it even more shitty was if I wanted to react on said ache there was nothing I could fucking do about it. That shit oddly enough made me want him that much more.

_I'm so fucked! _

Edward clouded my judgment, raped my mind from all sanity, and fuck it blind... I fucking loved it. As he placed me down gently on the now clean and dry couch he smiled and told me that he was going to shower. I couldn't help but smile back; his sexy ass grin just brought the girly gleam out in me. As he nodded and headed for the bathroom I watched as he peeled the wet jogging pants from his ass. I muffled my chuckle with my hand as Edward shouted, "I heard that _smart ass_!"

I smiled to myself as I leaned back onto the couch and sighed.

_What does Bella want?_

That was the fucking million dollar question and I was fucked if I knew. No matter what I chose each decision was a damn mystery to me and hell handed to me with a nice fucking pretty red bow.

If I chose to go back to Jake I'd be living the same life over and over again - if he'd take me back of course. If I chose Edward he's most likely turn out like Jake later on down the road. They'er all the fucking same so why not stick with what I already knew rather than start something new?

I was so lost in my own cliché of fucked up situations that I couldn't sift through what was real and what wasn't anymore. I had thought about calling my mother Renee and telling her about Edward and Jake. I was hoping she'd have some answers for me but I was scared that I'd let her down. She always told me to try and make my marriage work no matter what and that in the end she was a bad wife and mother because she had given up on our family. She wanted more for me. She didn't want me to follow in her footsteps, but still I couldn't help but wonder what she would think of her precious Jake if I told her the truth. A part of me wanted to believe that my mother would take my side of things. The other part was more cautious because I knew that everything'd be turned around on me and it would all be my fault.

I suppose it was true. I could've been a better wife to Jake… learned how to cook proper meals instead of ordering pizza and eating out of cereal boxes all the damn time... maybe even cleaned the house more and never gotten mixed up with Izzy's.

Izzy's... I loved her so much that I allowed her to ruin my marriage. She was truly the one that I had an affair with. That's when everything started the - beatings… the cheating… the drugs. Jake couldn't take the financial burden of it all and I had placed it all on him... _Me_… I deserved everything that had happened to me. I even _asked for it _if you will_._ At least that was how I felt about it.

I had failed at everything in my life - relationships, marriage, business, friendships, and yes even school. School was the only thing that I had officially accomplished and even that you might as well say that I failed. If it wasn't for Jake tutoring me I would've never finished. I was a complete moron when it came to school and even Jake knew that. He had spent countless nights helping me. We'd be going over and over the material until I would pass out when the sun would finally break through the windows. We were young and had all these dreams about being somebody when we grew up. We thought that we were smarter than everyone else and we fucking new it all.

_How sadly mistaken we were._

I guess I just grew up somewhere along the line and realized that they weren't my dreams - they were Jakes. I was never a dreamer. I was a realist and I suppose I allowed Jake to control my "_dreams_" even back then. He made me believe that Izzy's... school was what I wanted, that we were going to do great things together in business… if that makes any sense at all? And I wanted to believe every word he said. I guess I did in some ways but I was always on the side lines waiting for the ball to drop.

_I was fucked even back then. _

Now that those dreams no longer existed, I still wanted to finish what I had started. I was never a person to just give up on things even if it was the right thing to do_. _Cut your losses and move on_? _ I didn't believe in failure and perhaps that was my problem all along.

I still wanted all the things that I'd set out for... and as much as they seemed nonexistent I still wanted to believe that I'd have all of them someday. I'd always prepared myself for the worst case scenario - never filling my life with fairytale dreams of far off lands and beautiful meadows. Nope... "what if's" and "it is what it is" had simply become me.

Yet here I was placed on this expensive leather couch... perched in this million dollar a year apartment that's owned by a man who's CEO of his own damn company. He could most defiantly pass for fucking prince charming and yet I still prepared myself for the "what if's" and "it is what it is."

What if he woke up and realized I was trailer trash? What if he is just using me to get his fucking rocks off? What if he just got a thrill out of sleeping with married women? What if he loved the drama? What if he had a bet with his colleges that night? What if... what if... what if I fell in love with him and he broke my heart?

What if I didn't allow myself to take a leap of faith and I missed out on the one great thing in my life?

See... the "what if's" are fucking killing me!

"Hey... you hungry?" Edward's cheery voice broke my reverie.

"What?" I mumbled as he came around the couch to address me properly.

"Are you hungry?" He asked again and all I could see was nothing but hotness.

Edward was wearing a pair of fitted black dress pants a white and blue striped dress shirt that complimented his stunning blue/green eyes. My breath was caught in my throat as I took in the small amount of chest hair that danced across his exposed pecks. I was furious as he finished buttoning his cuffs and closed the top two buttons on his dress shirt - hiding the speckle of god like hair from my viewing pleasure.

"Breakfast?" He eyed me as I finally came back from my own Edward lust filled heaven.

"Um... I don't think so" I whispered blushing like fucking crazy.

"Why not?" He asked as I turned and dared to address him one more time.

"I don't have anything nice to wear." I shrugged and he rolled his eyes at me.

"We're just going down to the lobby - not a five star restaurant." He smiled extending his hand for me to take.

I of course took it and immediately wished I hadn't. His touch was soft but warm, and all I could do was think about how his skin felt against mine. I shook my head as he continued to eye me strangely and asked me if I was alright. I told him I was but in truth I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. It was as though he had bewitched me and I had no control over my own mind or body..._ bastard._

When we made it downstairs we were greeted by Felix. I couldn't help but wonder if the damn man ever went the hell home.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen. The usual table?" He asked as Edward smiled and nodded.

We were taken into a small dining area. The tables were draped with red and white table cloths and adorned with a single red cased, jeweled incrusted candle. It was stunningly romantic and I was _so_ not dressed for it.

"Edward, I'm in jogging pants and a Van Halen t-shit" I whispered. I leaned into him trying to cover my messy appearance with his handsome well dressed frame.

"Nonsense... you're the most beautiful woman in the room." He smiled taking my hand in his as I huffed out a "Yeah right."

I'd never been to a place as classy as Edward's downstairs lobby - let alone in a dining setting like this - somehow, I knew that he'd frequented five star restaurants before. The classiest place for me before this was the fucking McDonalds five blocks down the road from Izzy's.

When we stepped into the dining area, I felt like everyone was staring at me and whispering their hateful, shitty words. . I put my head up and decided to not give two shits about what they thought. As I took a few steps towards the table, I shrugged the feeling the fuck off. I was a tough chick; I didn't give two fucking shits what these bitches thought about me. I'm Bella Black; take me or fucking leave me.

As the waiter went to pull my chair out for me, I eyed him and took the other chair across from it. There was no way I was getting used to men pulling out my chairs and opening my fucking doors. This wasn't a place for me and I wasn't about to fall into the trap so many women do - believing that they can have all this shit. This kind of shit was for rich bitches celebrities or snooty ass rich kids that took their hand me outs, and ate from their silver fucking spoons. Nope what I had wasn't worth two fucking cents but it was still all mine.

I sat down and slouched in my chair... draping my one arm over the back, while I allowed my legs to open wide.

_So un-lady like... so fucking me!_

"The usual sir?" The waiter asked as Edward stared at me and nodded telling the waiter to bring two of his usual.

"What's wrong with you?" Edward whispered leaning across the table.

"What? This is me." I quickly shot back.

"No this is Bella with her guard up. I thought she had taken a long vacation?" He asked as his brows furrowed.

"This is the married woman you liked enough to fuck over my bar" I informed him as he shook his head.

"Bella stop being defensive. They're only looking because you're making a spectacle out of yourself" he said then sipped at his coffee.

I was totally embarrassed and I guess the child had come out in me, but what came out next was the two year old side of me having a temper tantrum because I didn't get my damn way.

"Fuck you Edward Cullen! You piece of fucking shit!" I screamed and threw the small silver jug that contained the cream at him.

"You sit here like you're better than me... you _all_ fucking think you're better than me!… Well you can all have your fucking money, sit in your fancy houses, drive your fucking BMW'S... while the world starves… goes unclothed... unsheltered, and walks miles just to get a small drink of water!... You all make me fucking sick. I might not have money but I know the world far better than any of you!" I screamed as I stormed out of the room and headed for the elevator.

I couldn't control the rage that filled me. It came from being hurt and the feeling of not being accepted. I knew I shouldn't have let myself get comfortable.

As the god damn tears started to fall from my eyes, the elevator doors opened and I felt myself being pushed into it.

When the doors closed, my chest was heaving as Edward leaned over me - pinning my back against the wall. His eyes were piercing into mine as his scowl turned soft and his eyes lidded.

"Bella... I... " He started as he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips.

My head tapped lightly off of the wall as Edward's kiss became more dominant. Oh... he was too good at it. I was putty in his capable hands. His mouth molded and melted into mine, forcing my toes to curl and my center to moisten.

My heart was rapidly beating as his hand gently cupped the back of my neck pulling me in closer to deepen the kiss. It was wrong and I had no idea what the fuck I wanted, but I knew at least that I didn't want him to stop.

When the doors opened we stumbled out of the elevator into his apartment.

"Before we get started…" He leaned over me - pressing my back against the elevator doors "I need to know that you want me too." He whispered into my ear and shivers ran up and down my spine. I nodded in agreement.

"Not good enough... I need to hear you say it" He whispered again. This time he took the lobe into his mouth.

"I want you Edward." I moaned into the crock of his neck as he hissed and planted another one of those deathly kisses onto my lips.

His hands felt their way up and around my body and when they made their way to my breasts he pinched my nipples slightly as I squealed in delight.

_That shit felt good and now my pussy's begging to be fucked._

My eyes slowly closed as I let him nip and kiss my neck. His lips pressed against my skin making me wetter and dancing in anticipation for his thick, hard, long cock.

I felt his hand move down towards the waist band of my joggers, underneath the elastic barrier that separated us and grazed my soaking wet thong.

"Mmm... baby you're so wet." He moaned, kissing my collarbone and stroking my upper thigh.

"Oh!" I moaned back taking in a sharp breath as he grazed my thong again.

"Maybe it's because I have a hot, sexy guy about to fuck me - to do whatever he pleases" I cried out.

"Whatever you want and more, Bella." He softly spoke in between kisses.

I looked into his hungry eyes and leaned in for the kiss. He didn't disappoint - it was long, exasperating and exciting. As we kissed Jake passed through my mind. I pulled back and looked into Edward's curious eyes. My lips were still puckered, heart racing, wet beyond belief and was ready to tell him no… we couldn't... then he licked his lips.

All thoughts of Jake disappeared as the thoughts of the pleasure Edward was about to give me took over. I grabbed hold of his collar and pulled him in close as he held me tightly and kissed me passionately.

"_Ouch_, fuck!" I hissed as he gently placed his hands on my ribs.

I wasn't about to have him stop… if we stopped I would have time to think about what we were about to do - and I didn't want to think. I just wanted to feel. I started to wiggle my hands under his shirt trying to get it off, but he wasn't letting me go anywhere.

"Not so fast, Bella. We have to be careful... um... you first." He smiled.

I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights because he laughed and said, "I'm going to get you warmed up first."

He lifted off my shirt and I knew that I had taken the plunge, there was no turning back now. Edward turned me around and hugged me to him with my back to his chest as he began to kiss my neck and rub my shoulders.

_Damn he sure knows how to treat a woman._

I don't know what happened... my ass had a mind of its own and started to rub against the front of his black dress pants and he laughed against my neck.

"There's plenty of time for that. I don't have to be at work for another five hours. Let's get you out of your clothes first." He slyly remarked.

After Edward slowly and sensually helped me out of each particle of clothing, I suddenly realized that I was nervous. Was I going to let him take the lead? Is this going to be another one-night-stand... use me and ditch me? Make love to him or a hard fuck - which would result in pain? If I softly fucked him "made love" to him he would think there was more and perhaps so would I. I suppose I was nervous because he had taken charge.

"Come here Bella... sit down on the chair." He whispered as he greeted me at my side and softly pulled my hair back exposing the tender flesh of my neck for his mouth to claim as his own.

I did as he instructed and sat down on the chair. I sat very still with a straight back - and like I always do when I get nervous, I started chewing on my lip.

"Are you sure?" He asked again.

"Yes Edward" I whispered.

Honestly, I didn't know what else to say. I wanted it of course… _man did I want it_, but I was freaking out inside. I quickly tried to look less awkward. I could feel that my body was aroused, but I was still just as confused. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and decided to stop worrying about everything. I needed to just fucking get into it so I started to pinch my nipples lightly at first then harder because I loved it rough.

As I moaned I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. Oh, I felt _so_ good and he hadn't even touched me yet. I'd never really taken an interest in my nipples before, but this was fucking heavily.

"Wait for me love" Edward whispered falling to his knees.

I was really fucking horny at this point and continued to pinch my nipples. Everywhere was hot and I was ready to start fingering my _fucking_ self at any moment if he didn't start doing something.

"Bella, you're really getting me hard here." Edward growled as I opened my eyes and stared directly into his.

He reached up and took one of my pert breasts into his own hand. He pinched my right nipple and slowly rolled it in between his index finger and thumb. A tiny moan escaped my lips and he growled. _ He fucking growled._

He pinched my nipples hard again but with more aggressiveness this time. He then pushed them towards each other and gave them a sharp tug before he let them go. They bounced back into place and once again I was moaning, but this time I had a quiver in my voice. A wave of heat rolled through me as he kissed my stomach gently and slowly trailed up latching his luscious mouth around my right nipple.

He flicked at the right one with his tongue while the other he twisted with his fingers.

"Oh, Edward... you're fucking amazing… Mmm… keep going…more... " I hummed.

"Fuck, you're making me so wet… look… I'm dripping on your chair." I panted heavily.

Edward flicked his eyes down for only a second and then back up at me. "What should I do about that?" He asked.

"Anything… please!" I struggled to speak as he leaned in close to my ear.

"I want to hear you ask for it… out loud." He hissed.

"I want you in my pussy, Edward, please." I huffed.

"Louder!" He bellowed.

"I want you Edward!" I raised my voice.

He was now really tugging on my tits. They were on fire from the pain, and my cunt was still soaked.

"Oh Edward, fuck me hard and deep! I need you inside of me now!"

"That's my girl." He panted then leaned over and plunged his tongue into my mouth - swirling, tasting and forcing me to be completely and absolutely open to him. Finally he knelt down and removed my thong with his teeth.

"Close your eyes, you'll feel it better." He requested as he sent his hot breath to dance along my folds.

Every nerve in my body was alive as I felt him move closer to me and spread my lips. I was ready; I braced myself for the impact on my clit. I relaxed as he had suggested, closed my eyes, leaned my head back as I felt his wet, thick tongue graze across my bud.

"Fuck, you taste so good." He moaned as I twitched slightly.

He inserted a finger quickly and started finger fucking me, hard, fast and oh so good.

"Look at me now, Bella." He ordered. As I opened my eyes, I was rewarded with the sight of him between my thighs licking his fingers.

"You have the best pussy I've ever tasted." He growled as I pulled at his long mane, forcing him back down onto my pussy.

He was gentle running his hands across my tummy - tickling me softly as he gently sucked on my clit, softly circling it with his tongue. Soon his fingers rubbed my bud as his tongue fucked me. Edward licked my outer, glistening lips…teasing me once more before he kissed my bud for what seemed like forever.

My whole body was shaking. I thrust my chest up, threw my head back and took it. Everywhere he touched felt like heaven, but it was when Edward played with my hair and brushed my cheekbone with his fingers that I felt like a women and not just someone's piece of pussy.

I tried to lean down and kiss him but I yelped out in pain as I bent. He was before me in a matter of seconds placing my arms around his neck and I kissed him passionately. Slowly, he moved his mouth in perfect rhythm with mine - building intensity and using his hands to explore me everywhere. We both sighed and moaned as I continued to run my fingers through his hair.

Edward returned back to my pussy - his desired place - and parted my lips then returned to licking my clit. An electric shock made its way from my pussy to my head. I sharply breathed in trying to ignore the agonizing pinching my ribs are producing as he engulfed my clit into his mouth - sucking, licking and fucking me with his tongue. Before long he filled me up with one, two and then three fingers. I felt a strange pressure in my womb.

"I've never tried this on a woman before" Edward admitted and blushed.

My hips levitated while he continued to produce the greatest amount of pressure. It felt so good... everywhere. My pussy was on fire. His fingers rubbed steadily inside of my pussy and after a few minutes of slurping, sighing and moaning, I felt what he meant. I knew that this orgasm was sure to blow my mind. I clenched my pussy around his fingers as he continued to violently lick everywhere. All my nerve endings lit up and buzzed as I start screaming.

"Oh Fuck!" I let loose as I looked down panting. His chin was covered in my juice.

_So fucking sexy._

"What did you do?" I asked still trying to catch my breath as I looked down at my throbbing pussy. It looked like I had pissed. "What the fuck!" I screamed as I moved away from the spot.

"Calm down love. You just had a really intense orgasm. Congratulations! You've just squirted. God you were delicious." He smiled licking his lips. "Now your… um... fluids... are on every piece of furniture in my house." He flashed me his crocked little grin again.

Edward carefully moved me to the couch and laid me down softly and then began undressing himself. As his cock sprang forth, I was suddenly hungry for him again. I had never and I mean never experienced sex… love making… fucking… screwing... whatever the hell you want to call it, at this sort of level. I was an "Edward Cullen Cock Addict," and I needed help ASAP… was there such a place? If not I needed to provide one for the women in this city…

_ECCA Company. My new business adventure... I'd make millions. _

He slowly rubbed his swollen member along my walls. I closed my eyes and let him slide into me. It was so easy after being so wet. I felt Edward adjust himself on top of me - trying his best not to put any pressure on me.

My pussy started to throb and tighten as he whispered to me to slow down. "Alright, calm down… let's do this right." He sighed while slowly thrusting in and out. "You're so tight Bella… you feel so fucking good."

He moved in and out of me easily just like breathing. That's what this was to me... easy as breathing. We just seemed to know how to move and get what we wanted from each other.

His cock was starting to swell and his knob began hitting my cervix creating such a delicious sensation. Soon after he started to reach his climax. Edward thrust a few more times as I let loose all I had left in me.

"Oh god… Edward!" I screamed.

"Almost there!" He bellowed back as I rode out my wave of what seemed like endless pleasure.

"Oh fuck! Oh fuck! FUCK!" He screamed out filling me completely with his seed.

Edward was perched up on his elbows and panting as I come back from my pleasant fucking trip. I slowly rolled over onto my side as he gently placed himself gently behind me.

As Edward spooned me from behind and kissed my neck, he placed his arm around me and pulled me in close.

"That was amazing." I smiled sleepily.

"Yeah... it was." He answered back seemingly in thought.

"What is it Edward?" I asked as I turned my head slightly to look at him.

His eyes squinted and his lips pouted as he leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the lips.

"That should've been our first time" He answered.

And with that I smiled and closed my eyes - waiting for the day to get started and all that it may bring.

**Edward's Point Of View**

This morning hadn't started off exactly the way I had wanted it to. I had planned to take Bella down to breakfast and well... when I woke to her painful grunting and fell… making her piss herself, I thought for sure she would turn down my offer.

The idea of taking her downstairs for breakfast had come from her idea of life. She basically told me that her life wasn't going to get any better then what it was and she had accepted the way things were. I guess in some ways I wanted to show her that life was what you make it and to make her realize that money didn't buy happiness that we weren't as different from one another as she was lead to believe.

_We all ate eggs and toast for breakfast right? _

Well I was sadly mistaken when she had her "little outburst" in the dining hall.

I had no idea what the hell was wrong with her or why the hell she had her back up and her fucking nails out ready to claw a bitch if she looked at her the wrong way. I knew that there was more to Bella then how she portrayed herself to be. Her display at first both pissed me off and embarrassed me, but when she told all the rich assholes including myself off, I was turned on. That was the intellectual Bella that I knew existed in her. The Bella that loved all things and was passionate about the world – even if her life was shit.

Last night… I had promised her that I'd be her friend – her best friend, but after she ran her fucking smart ass mouth, "friends" was out the door. I wanted her more then I could bear. I had wanted her all along, but I was too stupid to push myself upon her. I was too much of a pussy to give her an option... I just threw in the fucking towel and let her give up on what we could become. I was so tired of playing this cat and mouse game.

_If I got hurt so fucking be it._

I'd never want another woman as much as I wanted her. I was determined to show her how she deserved to be treated and to let her know that I was standing with my arms wide open. All she had to do was walk into them.

I would never hurt her intentionally. I knew that I'd probably piss her off - hurt her feelings even, but I knew that I'd never intentionally hurt her... Not like Jake. Now, that Jake he was an asshole. He needed to get the fuck out of the picture and fast but that wasn't turning out to be an easy task. Bella still believed that she'd go back to him... let me rephrase that statement... that he would take her back. At least she hoped that he'd forgive her for her unfaithfulness and take her back.

As far as I was concerned this guy wasn't a fucking man at all. He was an asshole who got a cheap thrill out of trying to control another human being. Even a fucking dog wouldn't be treated this poorly. Yes... this was a sad situation. If an animal is abused they come and take it away from the owner because it can't speak up for its self. Yet when a woman is abused and is too afraid to speak up society looks the other way.

_How fucking sad is that?_

So who was to blame? The men? The women? Society? Family? Friends… Co-workers maybe?... Myself whatever the hell I was to Bella? I don't know but I did know one thing - once an abuser always an abuser. Jake wasn't going to change his ways. He loved Bella alright... he loved to brain wash her, control her, beat her and make her feel "unworthy" of anything else in her life - like Understanding, acceptance, guidance, beauty, success and most of all love. She felt like she was none of these things because he had brainwashed her.

I saw Bella for who she really was that night in the bar. I was sure that I had seen a side of her that very few rarely had the chance to witness. She is beautiful, honorable, strong, loving, devoted, dedicated and with a little help from me she'll become everything she should be and more. I wasn't ready to give up on Bella Black…_ not yet_.

As I held her in my arms, all I could do was smile - I so badly wanted her there until we were old and gray. I was afraid to take my arms off of her and go to work. I was afraid that she'd run scared again. Making love wasn't wrong... it was right. So right on so many levels that I felt ashamed of the way I had taken her the first time we met. Bella should be treated like the delicate pedal on a rose. She's fragile, beautiful and should be savored in the same way. What was the old saying? Ah yes... "Stop and smell the roses." That was my Bella at least that was how she felt to me.

I had never valued women - never cared if they came back or how they felt. T hey were just one thing and one thing only… _pussy._ Bella had literally made me stop and smell the roses. She was the first woman who caught my attention long enough that I wanted to see where things would go. I cared more for Bella than I cared, to but the feelings I had for her were like no other. I could see myself falling in love with her _someday_ and I hoped that someday she'd learn to love me too.

When Bella had asked me what was bothering me I simply told her the truth... I felt like that this should've been our first time. The other time in my bed was nice but it wasn't as meaningful - honestly, I did everything just for her. I had never done 'everything' just for a woman before. I had always been looked after by them not the other way around.

When I finally peeled myself away from the beauty on my couch I headed for the shower. I wasn't sure what to say to her and when I returned she had her arms wrapped around her naked frame like she was trying to hold herself together.

"Bella, what is it Love?" I asked then took a seat beside her on the couch and wrapped her up into my arms.

"I don't know what to say Edward... I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep messing with your mind... I just... I just... " She sobbed uncontrollably.

"Look at me Bella," I whispered "I'm not going anywhere. When you're ready, I'll be here." I informed letting down my guard and for the first time letting a women make the decisions.

Bella smiled as I placed a gentle kiss on her lips. I wanted to stay here and kiss her pouty lips all damn day but work was calling.

"When I get home I'm going to take you out for dinner." I smiled as I grabbed my suitcase.

"Could we just eat here?" She asked shyly.

"Sure." I nodded kissing her mouth one more time before I left.

When I reached the downstairs lobby I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face. I had never kissed a women "goodbye" and "see you later" before. I had missed out on so much in my life... _so fucking much._ I now understood why men would come into the office day after day and complained about their babies keeping them up all night. How their wife's had bitched at them all day for stupid shit like leaving their shirt and pants on the floor instead of the hamper, and still they were the happiest bastards on the entire planet.

"Well holy hell, who pissed in your corn flakes today?" James asked as I gave Rosalie my briefcase.

"Language... we're in the office." I warned.

"Excuse me sir. Now could you please tell me that this isn't the same damn lady?" He eyed me with a smug little fucking smirk on his face.

"It is." I nodded as Rosalie smiled and congratulated me on my newly found relationship. I wonder if she knew it was her best friend, Bella, how would she feel about "said relationship?"

When we all made it to my office Rosalie, informed me that the mail cart lady had up and quit. I was pissed. It wasn't the most fabulous of jobs but without the mail lady everything in my day was soon to turn to shit. Rosalie then went on to tell me that she had put out an ad this morning and had yet to hear any replies. You would think with the way today's economy was going I'd have hundreds of candidates just begging to work in a place like this.

"Never mind... I think I might have someone for the job. Keep the ad running and set up the interviews just in case my friend doesn't work out." I smiled as she nodded once again and left my office.

I knew that Bella had no money and I also knew that Rosalie would be asking a million and one damn questions, but Bella and I could figure it all out... _Right?_

I mean... if she didn't want the job I was sure that someone would fill the position. I just wanted to give Bella a different opportunity – not a hand me out, because she'd have to learn everything in a fast paced environment and she'd be completely on her own and totally out of her element. I knew she could do it, however, and I knew this would show her a whole new side of what she could become.

It was far from glamorous of course. She'd come from running her own business to pushing a little cart around delivering everyone's little memo's and take everyone's shit all the time. She'd hate it, but I knew that she'd work her way up and who knows maybe someday she'd be my VP instead of James.

_Oh a man can dream can't he?_

Besides, it wouldn't only be good for Bella, it would be good for me as well and it wouldn't hurt to have a little hot number like Bella running around in a skirt delivering my mail.

_Oh god I hope she'll take me up on the offer!_

The whole day was too fucking long. I found myself frustrated at every single board meeting and ready to rip a fuckers head off if he so much as put his hand up one more time to ask a damn stupid motherfucking question.

I was antsy as hell to get home to her. On the way out of the office, Rosalie stopped me

"Mr. Cullen could I talk to you for a minute please?" She asked.

"Make it quick Rosalie I'm in a bit of a hurry." I eyed her putting on my coat.

"Right well... " She straightened out her back, took in a deep breath and slapped me.

"What the fuck was that for?" I hollered back holding the side of my face.

"For fucking up my best friend's marriage. You should be ashamed of yourself... Asshole!" She screamed as she walked away from me.

"Now wait just a fucking minute!" I screamed back as she started to clean out her desk.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What the fuck does it look like? I quit! I can't fucking work for you now!" She huffed back.

"Stop cleaning out your desk and you're not fucking quitting. Rose you're the best receptionist I've ever had… I can't lose you over this. Bella and I are what we are. I care for her more then you think and if I'm lucky enough to have her on my arm, that's where she'll stay." I confirmed as she gave me the death glare.

"Jake beat the living shit out of her… does it all the time in fact and no one is there for her, or believes her… not even you. You're all blinded by the man, but I see him for what he truly is and I'll never allow him to hurt her like that again." I grumbled out the truth as I watched the hardness on her face soften.

"Jake doesn't do that… Bella's just a klutz she falls down all the time. That's what she told me. Her bruises her black eyes… oh, my god, Edward… she covered it all up to protect Jake?" She gasped as the clues finally made full circle in her mind.

"I'll fucking kill him… I'll fucking kill him!" She screamed as she sobbed uncontrollably. "Where is Bella now?" She asked.

"I'm looking after her that's all you need to know. If you need to call her you can call her cell. She has it with her. It's not up to me to tell you what's going on with Bella it's up to her." I eyed Rose as she nodded and thanked me for looking after Bella.

As I drove home I kept thinking about how Bella would take the news of Rosalie knowing about us. I hadn't planned to tell Rose. I wanted Bella to come up with what she wanted to tell her and I'd just to go along for the ride. Perhaps now that job offer'd be easier for Bella to take now that she knew her friend was on her side – at least that's what I hoped would happen.

This was a delicate situation to deal with. I had to propose the job in a very calculative manner. If Bella thought this was a hand me out or that Rosalie was going to rip her a new one she'd never go for it, and that would ruin everything I had planned. I hated being so manipulative with her but in this case I had to be. Bella never knew what was good for her and perhaps if I lied just a little I could push her into a better life. Make her see things in a different light so to speak.

When I arrived back at the apartment I was so fucking nervous. My palms were sweating, my heart racing, and I had a lump in my throat. When the elevator doors opened I was rewarded with such a mouth watering scent.

"Bella!" I hollered only for her to run out of the kitchen and great me with a tender kiss.

I was taken back a bit. I wasn't expecting her to kiss me when I walked in the door. Wished for it, dreamed for it even, but never in a million years did I think I'd actually be greeted by her in such a manor. She pulled back a little faster then I had anticipated. The shock and awe had stunned me so bad that I hadn't had a moment to enjoy it.

"I've cooked dinner." She cooed.

"You cooked?" I eyed her as she nodded.

"Yes, I watched the cooking channel… I never watch television… and they showed how to make a pot roast and all the fixings in a slow cooker. It was so easy and it smells so good in here!" She excitedly shot out.

"I never left the slow cooker I was afraid I'd burn the place down."She smiled tenderly as I nodded and chuckled.

"Bella it smells wonderful." I leaned in slightly to see if she was going to push me away but to my very happy fucking surprise he puckered and leaned in herself.

_Was I fucking dreaming?_ If I was I didn't want to wake the hell up.

We were sitting across from one another enjoying the pot roast when Bella asked me how my day was.

"It was alright until the mail cart lady up and quit on me. I'm so screwed. I need to find a replacement right away and no one has replied to the ad yet." I hinted hoping like hell she'd bite.

"Oh that sucks" she replied..

"Um... well... Bella, I was hoping that perhaps you'd take the job over for me... until she's replaced. It'd help me out a lot if you would." I eyed her as she smiled.

"I'd love to but what will we tell Rose?"

"Well that's the thing Rose knows everything. I got a nice slap from her today seems she thought I had ruined your marriage and well... I set her straight." I explained.

"What do you mean you set her straight?" She pressed.

"Well she now knows about the beatings and she believes you. In fact, she even said that she was going to kill that fucker. She said she was going to call you later." I winced as she gave me her death stare.

"Did you tell her I was here?" She growled at me.

"No... I told her that I was helping you but that was all she needed to know. If you wanted to tell her anything else that was up to you."

I was stunned that Bella was pissed and jumped up from the table. "I'm sorry what was I suppose to say? "Yes I'm a bastard and I made you fuck me?" I continued as she sighed and hunched over the sink.

"Edward I'd just for once like to figure out things for myself before everyone goes and figures things out for me." She whispered as I got up from the table and wrapped her up in my arms.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I just felt that Rose should know the truth. Everyone should know the truth so this never happens to you again. I promise from here on out to let you make up your own mind. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do and that includes the job. If you want to tell Rose that I was full of shit... it's your call." I whispered as she eyed me.

"If I take the job it'll help you out?" She asked as I smiled.

"Yes." I confirmed happy as shit that she had taken the bait.

_Was I a bad man for pushing her into this and once again making all the decisions for her?_

"Well if it will help you out, Edward, it's the least I can do after everything you've done for me. What do I wear? It's not like I have a pencil skirt in my wardrobe." She chuckled.

"Well you don't start until Monday so we have the weekend to gather you some clothing." I smiled as she shook her head no.

"I can't let you buy me clothes when I'm staying here for free and after everything you've done for me." She cringed as her eyes closed.

"Fine... I'll by the clothes and you can pay me back out of your first pay check." I smiled as did she.

I was lying of course. I'd never expect the money back nor did I have any intention on filling the position with anyone else other then with Bella. I could only hope that she'd love it enough to stay on and when some other position came available I'd move her up the ladder. It wasn't the "typical" way of doing things, of course, and I knew that people would talk but I knew that Bella would prove herself and everyone would understand her business savvy as much as I did.

I was looking forward to a weekend alone with Bella. No interruptions. No having to go to work. Just me and her for two whole days and I couldn't wait to get started. The plus side was that when I left for work on Monday she'd be coming with me.

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** Alright that's it. I hope you all, enjoyed the chapter. Remember to review; they light a fire under my ass ;) Until next time FF…..April**


	6. Chapter 6 Side show attraction

**Chapter six**

**Side show attraction**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, detailed lemon and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**I'm sorry for the delay on the chapters. Simply put, life gets in the way. **

**I thank you all for your understanding, devotion and patience. Love you all!**

**This lemon was inspired by roon0 and Mydaughterbella hope you guys love it.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my ladies on Twitter, you guys are just phenomenal. **

**My beta and good friend Dee, who makes my stories so much better.**

**Mydaughterbella for taking on the grammar for me… you are the f'n best. **

**I'm learning so much from both of you.**

**My husband, I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my life. **

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Edward's Point Of View**

I got up way too fucking early this morning and I was way too eager to start my day off with Bella. If she saw me now practically skipping to the fucking kitchen, she'd probably have a fucking melt down.

Bella was far from excited about most things and this… I knew I had to play cool or she wouldn't go for the shopping.

I was a self proclaimed "shopaholic." For a man my age… that wasn't something we tended to share, but man… did I like to spend money.

I couldn't think of a better way to spend it than on Bella.

I'd never spent my money on anyone else in my life. This was sure to be an experience I'd never forget.

It was Saturday morning and ten bells were prominent on the clock. I found myself in my kitchen staring down the clock like it was my arch nemesis. I just wanted her to get the hell up already but I loved that she was so comfortable… that she was able to sleep soundly.

Finally, around eleven, I heard her stir in my bedroom – that's right… she slept in my arms all night – Edward motherfucking Cullen.

I was jumping up and down like a two year old as I heard her feet scuffle down the hall. When she finally made her appearance in the kitchen doorway – rubbing her sleepy little eyes – I wore the biggest shit eating grin on my face.

"Good morning, Love," I cooed. "Ready to shop till you drop?" I asked… smug as a bastard.

Of course she glared at me and headed right for the coffee.

"A morning person… fantastic," she mumbled.

"That's right… I am." I grinned while wrapping my arms around her waist.

This girl was going to be hard one to break, but I knew that if anyone could do it… I could.

She giggled as I continued to kiss all down her neck… rocking my hips back and forth as she desperately tried to sip at her coffee.

"Edward, come on… if you keep this up then I'll never get my ass ready," she chuckled lightly.

"Well, maybe we'll just stay in all day." I whispered in her ear and watched as her eyes disappeared into the back of her head.

"Oh, God." She muffled – squirming out from under my arms.

As she was leaving the kitchen, she turned to me and rolled her eyes but she couldn't hide the smile that was prominent on her face.

Once again I was left alone in my kitchen – antsy as hell, waiting on her.

After an hour, she reappeared and we were off.

"I have so many places I want to take you." I grinned and took her hand in mine.

"Listen, Edward." She started and to my surprise… withdrew her hand. "If I have to pay you back then we're going to a place that I can afford." She eyed me as I nodded.

Once we were in the car, I asked her where she wanted to go. She told me there was a little place back in Forks that she loved called The Sally Ann. It sounded quaint enough for me… and if that's where Bella wanted to go then that's where I was taking her.

As we waited on the valet parking attendant to bring my baby around, I tried for her hand again only to be rejected once more.

_What the hell is going on here? Why is she refusing to hold my hand in public? _

I tried to shove it off like it was nothing… but for fuck sakes… I just couldn't. I waited until we were in the car and had taken off before I brought it up.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong, Edward." She smiled so god damn phony like.

"Why, don't you want me to hold your hand then?" I pressed.

The features on her face scrunched up as if she was in pain – her fingers intertwining as she struggled with what was on her mind.

"Just say it… please," I whispered out in agony.

"It's not that I don't want to Edward… It's just that I'm still a married woman and I don't want someone I know seeing us together… ya know?" She eyed me.

"No, I don't know. I thought you and Jacob were done… that you were moving on… with… oh fuck, never mind." I huffed.

The rest of the car ride was silent. I struggled with what I wanted to say to her… how I wanted to explain things to her... but no matter what, I just sat there quietly. I had every intention on this day being a good one and if that meant I had to shut my mouth until we got home then that's what I was going to do.

Once we hit the little shit hole of a town, I asked her where the shop was. She told me to go down three more blocks, make a left, and it would be there on my right. I nodded and followed her directions.

When we made it there and parked outside the store I couldn't believe that this was where she wanted to go. This was not "The Sally Ann." This was "The Salvation Army."

"You wanted to come to a thrift store?" I eyed her in disbelief.

"This is all I can afford… besides there are some great clothes in there… I love vintage." She chuckled getting out of the car.

She knew this was not a place I would've ever stepped foot in… it was totally out of my elements and I felt like a total douchebag… I was dressed in Armani – so not what you wear in a place like this.

What the hell was wrong with her? How could she possibly think that bringing me here was a great idea? I mean come on! This town was full of bikers and rough looking individuals. If I didn't stand out before, I definitely stood the fuck out now.

I wanted to wait in the car but I didn't want Bella to be left unattended to either. After all, Jake could show up at any moment. I took a deep breath and bit the big one – I entered the damn place and tried my damndest to hide my face.

Have you ever worn a pair of sunglasses and felt like no one knew who you were? Like you were in some sort of disguise? That's what I wanted mine to do for me, but damn it all to hell – it never works.

"Bella!" I heard this woman shout out.

When she engulfed Bella into her arms and her head landed on Bella's shoulder, I was able to make out who she was.

"Edward." Rosalie acknowledged me.

"Rosalie." I gave her a slight nod back.

"What are you guys doing here?" Rose spoke to us both but eyed me while she asked the question.

I knew what was on her mind…_ What the fuck are you guys doing here? Jake could show up and all hell would break loose. _

I knew it was fucked up for me to internally wish that he_ would_ show up, but that's what I was hoping for. I didn't know that Bella wanted to come to a little second hand shop but when she mentioned Forks, I had to admit, I was curious to see if we'd run into the bastard. I guess I wanted to show him that I'd made good on my promise – I'd taken his wife from him.

"We're shopping for work clothes," Bella explained.

"I see, well, come with me… there's a new shipment that just arrived out back." Rosalie explained waving us to follow her.

As we walked towards a door at the other end of the shop, I placed my hand onto the small of Bella's back and escorted her towards it. To my surprise she didn't shuffle or move from my touch.

"Why does Rosalie have special privileges?" I whispered down at Bella, while she laughed at me.

"You really don't know your employees at all – do you Edward?" She cockily remarked.

"Rose and Em, own this place." She smiled. I nodded.

When we were in the back room, Rosalie and Bella had a field day. It was like girls gone wild. I sat there observing and I couldn't understand how women could have this much fun in someone else's garbage.

I sat back and observed them trying on different hats and old fashioned dresses… just goofing off in general. This was definitely a place for Bella… not that she wasn't worthy of what I wanted to provide for her, just that she was happy and comfortable here.

I loved that the small things in life brought her happiness and I couldn't help but wonder what the big things would bring her. She was the type of girl who'd always survived or found her way around a situation and even though she didn't have to worry about the money... she still did.

I couldn't help but wonder if she would've ever been satisfied with money. I think in some weird way she took more pride in what she had because she'd worked hard for it… struggled. I'd wanted to help her and stop all her struggles but maybe that wasn't what she needed… maybe she just needed someone to understand her independence and take her knowledge at face value.

I don't try to pretend that I know what Bella needs… I mean I knew for sure that she didn't need that bastard but hell, I don't even know what I need half the time. For now, she was happy without Jake and I knew that I had something to do with that.

After she managed to find a few things, we headed for the cash register and low and behold I saw one of the worst possible things I could've ever seen.

"What the fuck is this asshole doing here?" Emmett shot out.

"I was just about to ask the same question" I murmured under my breath.

"Em, this is my boss Mr. Cullen. Edward, this is my husband Emmett." Rose introduced us while we both looked at each other dumbfounded.

"You know each other?" Bella asked.

"You could say that," Emmett growled.

There wasn't much more said amongst the four of us after the initial introduction. Rose wrapped up Bella's things and told us that the grand total was two hundred dollars and thirty-three cents.

"Mastercard? Edward we're not the Hilton… cash," Rose huffed out.

I eyed Bella first who was red faced and chuckling and then looked to Rose's annoyed features.

"Right… where's the closest bank?" I asked while Rose pointed directly across the street.

"Will you be alright here… if I run across the street?" I asked Bella.

"What the fuck man… do you think we're going to kidnap her ass?" Emmett rolled his eyes at me.

_Ignore his shit, ignore his shit. _I chanted to myself.

"Will you?" I pressed.

"Yes, Edward, I'm with friends… I'll be perfectly safe – for all of what… ten minutes?" She mocked me.

I nodded and headed out of the store. I didn't give two shits if I looked like an overly protective ass. I just wanted her to feel comfortable and if she wasn't then I would've gladly brought her ass a whole five feet across the road with me.

When I arrived at the bank, I kept watching through the big windows. I don't know what I expected to happen but when I saw Jake walk into The Salvation Army my skin started to crawl.

I tapped the counter impatiently and when the lady finally gave me my money, I walked the hell out and practically ran across the street.

When my hand connected with the door handle I suddenly thought about what Bella would want me to do. I didn't want to upset her by no means but I didn't want to leave her all alone in that place with him. I mean, I knew that Rose was on Bella's side now but I wasn't sure if Emmett was and I knew that Rose and Bella were no match for Jake.

I was momentarily in a trance while trying to figure out what to do… or being a chump, whichever you would've liked to call me when I saw Jake and Bella arguing and headed in my direction.

I quickly looked around and noticed a small alley next to the store. I wanted to give her the space she needed in order to deal with her so called "husband," but still be nearby just in case things got out of hand. I don't know…it was the best I could come up with in the short amount of time I was given.

I made it to the alley going undetected and just sat back and watched.

"Izzy, please come home." Jake begged Bella. It took everything in me not to make my presence known.

"Jake, I need some time. I just don't know what I want anymore," she answered honestly.

I was forced to stand there and watch as Jake leaned in, wrapped his arms around her and bent his knees so he was at eye level when he spoke to her.

"Izzy, I'm not going to lie, what you did… fucked me up, but I had some time to think about things and I messed up too. We've been together for a long time and I want our marriage to work. We can do it. You just have to give me a chance." The smug bastard was really putting it on thick.

Bella started to tear and I was just about to intervene… not wanting him to play her once again then she spoke up… starting with my name. I don't know if it was curiosity or just downright pride but I just wanted to know where I fit into this situation.

"Edward and I have had more than one night together, Jake – if we're being honest with one another right now. I need you to know that because I'm not sure who I want." She whispered but it was loud enough to allow me to hear and put a permanent grin on my face.

"You're going to throw it all away on some man that's probably using you for show? Come on Izzy… he'll never want you like that. You're just a side show attraction for all his friends and colleagues. You're so far from his class of people it's not even funny." Jake chuckled and I wanted to rip his god damn face off.

"Maybe so, Jake, but I'm starting over. My life is mine again and only time will tell whether or not you'll be a part of it. Please I just want to figure out things on my own… can you do that? Can you give me the space I need?" She asked while he hung his head in shame.

For the first time since I'd met the piece of shit, he looked sincere… I actually saw how lost he was without her. He was no longer in control and it was eating him up inside.

"Alright Izzy, I'll give you all the time you need. Just remember that I love you and I'll always be waiting." He sulked then put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

Bella waited until he was out of sight before her breakdown. She fell to her knees on the pavement and held her face in her hands. I gave her a moment to collect herself. As much as I wanted to just go in there and rescue "the damsel in distress," I knew that wasn't what she needed.

I knew Bella well enough… I guess… to know that she was a private person and she hated when anyone saw her cry.

When people started to stare at her from every store in the area, I slowly walked over to her placing my hand onto her shoulder. When she turned to look at me the sadness, sorrow and emptiness in her eyes broke my heart.

"Come on now love, get in the car and I'll get your things." I smiled extending my hand for her to take.

She shook it off and placed her hands on the ground to help herself up. Most people would've been hurt by her refusal and perhaps I would've too but in that moment I knew… she was _just_ a lost soul, _not _a lost cause. She needed time and I was going to give her that.

Once I was done paying for the clothes, Rose made me promise that I'd have Bella call her later when she'd calmed down enough. I agreed but that I wouldn't force Bella to call. Rose wasn't mad. She understood that I'd do my best to protect Bella but I wouldn't try to control her like Jake had.

**Bella's Point of View**

Was Jake right? Was I just Edward's "side show attraction?"

Jake's words hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'd always felt at home with Jake even though that life came with physical and mental abuse. I'd always known that I was a small town girl and I'd never amount to much, but I'd started to believe that I could have more than what I had. Now, I wasn't sure about where I stood in Edward's life.

I wanted to desperately believe that Edward was "the guy." That he'd change my life and I could be happier, but now, I wasn't so sure and I was mad at myself for allowing this to happen. I'd never and I mean never allowed someone to change me so quickly and perhaps I wasn't as strong as I'd lead people to believe… including myself. For the first time in my life I felt… lost.

Lost because even through my life was nothing but shit at least I knew what it was. Now I had no clue _who_ I was, where I was going, and with whom I'd be sharing it with. I wanted my old Jake back. The husband that went out of his way to put a smile on my face – but he'd died a long time ago. All that I was left with was a shell of a man that I'd loved long ago.

Edward, on the other hand, was more than any woman could ask for. He was kind, caring, considerate and most of all loving. How could I go wrong? But I feared the idea of finally being completely happy and having that happiness taken away or him leaving me and I'd be all alone again.

I hated the idea of failure and not only was my marriage failing but what if Edward and I failed also? I never wanted to be alone like my father. Being alone scared the hell out of me. This new job _was_ a new start for me, but let's be honest, I'd never truly ever done any god damn thing on my own and I was scared shitless. If I took the risk and everything crashed and burned I'd be stranded with no place to live – no husband or boyfriend to come home to… no job… friends or family.

So what it came down to was… could I handle it if it all crashed and burned?

No… I knew I couldn't.

"Edward, what do you want from me?" I whispered out.

I saw him out of the corner of my eye turn to look at me then back out the front window.

"If I'm being honest Bella, I'm not sure," he answered.

"That's what I was afraid of," I whispered.

To my surprise Edward pulled to the shoulder of the road. He was silent for a few minutes and I just sat there as well saying nothing.

"Bella, what Jake said… it's not true. I've never went after a married woman before and I sure as hell never kept a woman around as long as you before." He rushed out.

"I see… well um… I can stay with Rose." I choked on my own voice.

"Listen to me… I told you… I've never wanted a relationship… never cared for one. With you it's different. I don't know what it is that we're doing but I'd like to see where it goes. I mean, I like you… a lot and I know that you're still figuring out what it is that you want and I hope that whatever that is… that you choose what's best for Bella… not what anyone else expects from you. Now I'm not going to lie, I hope that what's best for you is _me_ because I feel that whatever this is… I don't know… it's just right." He mumbled out.

I smiled, nodded and saidnnothing more.

It was exactly what I wanted to hear in that moment. I didn't want him to say that he was in love with me because I knew that he'd be lying and I didn't want him to say that he could see us married with kids with a white picket fence. I just wanted him to be honest with me about where he stood… not make up some phony ass bullshit story so I'd choose him instead of Jake.

Edward asked me if I wanted to do some more clothes shopping or just head home. I knew that he meant his house but I had to admit that I liked the sound of it. I told him that I just wanted to go home and that I was sure I'd gotten enough at the Sally Ann to hold me over until I got my first pay.

When we got back to the apartment, Felix greeted us and informed us that the apartment building had a small fire and that all the occupants were going to have to stay at The Plaza down the road for the night due to the smoke.

Edward was furious but took the key from Felix's gigantic hand and helped me back into the car.

"Goddamnit, I pay top dollar for this god damn place and I can't even fucking live in it!" He yelled while he squealed the tires out of the parking lot.

"Calm down there, big guy." I giggled. "You're starting to get a potty mouth like me – makes for bad business." I eyed him and he chuckled.

"I just don't want you to be uncomfortable." He waved around the car like it was full of people.

"Edward, we sleep in the same bed together… we're fucking… I don't think I'll be uncomfortable." We both smiled.

When we pulled up, the place was very nice. I'd thought Edward's place was the nicest I'd ever seen - how sadly mistaken I was. I was still very underdressed for this place… in my joggers and Edward's white t-shirt but if he could handle walking into the Sally Ann for me in Armani than I could handle this. It's called give and take, right?

When we checked in and made it to our room, I was lost for words. It was beautiful. Not at all what I was expecting, but let's be honest here, Edward does everything extravagantly.

When we walked in there was a king size bed, with a white comforter and matching pillow shams. There were red roses in a vase on top of a marble dresser, a large walk-in closet, and the biggest bathroom I think I'd ever seen – complete with a Jacuzzi tub. I was so going to take a bath later.

"Wow, Edward, the bathtub is bigger than yours." I said excitedly.

"It better be for the price of it." He chuckled.

I turned to look at him dumbfounded.

"What do you mean? I thought the owner of the building was paying for the hotel? What does price have to do with anything?" I asked.

"We weren't staying in a tiny shit hole of a place. I thought if we had to stay in a hotel we should at least be comfortable." He smiled.

The rest of the day Edward and I took it easy in the hotel watching television. We didn't say much to each other after that.

A few hours had passed when Edward mentioned to me that he had to take off for a little while. I nodded but didn't say much. It wasn't like Edward to leave me alone unless he had to go to work, but it was Saturday and we were supposed to spend the day together.

He gave me a kiss goodbye and told me that he wouldn't be long. I nodded again… I guess I was a little saddened by him leaving.

Just before he left, he asked me to call Rose. He said she wanted to talk but if I wasn't up to it that I could just relax and he'd be back soon.

Once he was gone, I jumped on the bed. Well, more like belly flopped with my cell phone in hand and called Rose.

"Bella… how are you?" She whispered.

"I'm great Rose… really."

"Just a sec… I'm just going into the backroom.

I waited listening on the other end while she explained where the dress shirts were to some customer and then hollered at Em to look after the store for a few minutes.

"Alright, now spill," she ordered.

"Spill what?" I chuckled.

"You know what Bella! Come on… what the hell are you going to do?" She sounded frantic and I knew that this could only mean one thing.

"Rose, I'm not sure if Jake's what I want anymore," I whispered.

"You can't go back to Jake Bella… not now… not after everything he's done to you. Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you." She sobbed a little. It shocked me.

"I don't know Rose. Did you tell Em… about Jake?" I asked.

"No, I never said anything… but I have to tell you something." she started.

"What is it Rose?" I pressed.

"Em was there at Izzy's when Edward and Jake got into the fight over you. He held Jake back and well… he knows that you had an affair with Edward and now he doesn't think too much of Eddie boy." She explained.

"Well he wouldn't think too much of Jake if he knew what he did to me. I guess, Rose, I really just don't care if Em likes my choices. In fact, I really don't care if anyone likes my choices. They're mine and it's my life." I stated and for the first time in my life I was proud of myself – I'd stood up for myself.

"There's one more thing… Em called Jake and told him that you and Edward were here. Jake might have been sweet to you when you were talking to him but he told Em that he was going to kick the shit out of Edward when he got here. I swear, I thought the shit was going to hit the fan and I was going to have to call the police."

"Jake is not what he pretends to be, Rose, and that's why I'm not sure if I want to be with him anymore. I mean, he tells me all the time that he's going to change but that change is never good. It's always worse and I deserve better." I explained.

"You're right… and by better do you mean Edward?" She asked.

"I don't know, maybe. I like Edward a lot and we're taking things slow. He's great Rose and I could see myself as Mrs. Cullen." I chuckled.

"Bella, just remember that you're still Mrs. Black right now and I think that you might be getting a little ahead of yourself… I mean… this out of love what I'm about to say. You're not even close to his type of woman, and I just don't think he has the right intentions. If you don't want to go back to Jake, I completely support you, but I think you should be careful with Edward too. I've seen a lot working for him and let's just say he doesn't stay with the same woman for very long."

"I know that Rose. He told me he never wanted a relationship before. In fact, he's never had one – he used women. I'm the first that's been around for this long, and he cares for me as I do him. I don't know where this is going and I'd be lying if I said that I'm not terrified, but there's something going on here that I can't walk away from just yet… and Rose, I owe it to myself to see where it's going."

"I get it… you love him." She said.

"Love? I would hardly say I love the guy… like? Sure, but love? Come on?" I huffed.

"Bella, I've known you for years… you fall hard. You're not as tough as you pretend to be. I remember when you use to talk about Jake like this. I just want you to be happy no matter what choice you make."

We said our goodbyes and Rose left me with a lot to think about. Did I love Edward? I don't know. I knew I cared a lot for him and that I was fucking him up in more ways than one. I knew I didn't love Jake anymore and I was probably just in love with the idea of love and marriage. With Edward, everything seemed so different… so easy… perhaps I was in love.

Rose thought that Edward was the most boring person that she'd ever known – like an accountant at a very stuffy firm. It was true that he was conservative and reserved but he was also a little bit of a bad boy and I loved that about him.

Rose had told me that Edward was of course nice to look at but that she couldn't understand what had attracted me to someone with such a bland personality. I'd always been the type of girl that was the life of the party. Edward seemed to be boring to Rose and perhaps to others also, but it was only because they had no idea about _my_ Edward. I knew for a fact that he wasn't always boring… like in the bedroom – he rocked my world. He made me feel things that I'd never felt with Jake.

I knew that Rose wasn't trying to get me to ditch Edward and go back to Jake. She just wanted me to put all my cards on the table so to speak.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard Edward enter the room.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked then kissed me on the cheek.

It was strange how just by him being in the room put a rather large smile on my face.

"I was just talking with Rose," I said as I watched him stuff food into the small refrigerator.

"Oh… and how did that go?"

"Well, she thinks that you're too goody-two-shoes for me." I giggled. "But I happen to think that you're a very bad, bad boy Mr. Cullen." I grinned and ran my hand down his arm.

"Is that so… well perhaps I should just take you right here… right now… instead of what I wanted to do with you." He pulled me into his arms and crashed his lips against mine.

I pulled back breathless then asked him what he had planned for us.

"Here." He handed me a box. "I wanted to take you somewhere but you needed something… a little more appropriate for it." He smiled. and handed me a beer then sipped at his.

I placed the beer on the marble dresser, eyed him then opened the box. Inside was a red silk dress. It was tailored to the knee with a small slit on the left side and haltered at the top. It was stunning.

"Oh… shoes to match." Edward smiled handing me yet another box.

Inside was a small pair of strapped shoes… with six inch heels. The whole outfit was extravagant.

"Where the hell are we going… some damn ball?" I asked as he stood there starring at me longingly.

"Oh god, we are… I can't Edward… I mean I've never… I'm not going to be comfortable… I…" He pressed his finger to my lips and looked at me in the eyes.

"It's for work… a gathering of sorts. I don't usually take a date but I thought I'd just introduce you as a new employee so you can meet some of the people you'll be working with. I'd love to introduce you as my girlfriend, but because of the situation… I want you to be comfortable and honestly I haven't earned the right to call you that… yet." He smiled as his hand softly caressed the side of my cheek.

I'd never been to anything formal, nor had I worn something this extravagant, but I knew that if Edward and I were going to give this… whatever it is a go… I needed to _try_ to fit in – in his world.

I was scared and excited all at the same time. Edward chuckled when I ran off to the bathroom to get ready. My make up wasn't exactly the kind that you'd consider to be elegant but I had some light pink blush and eye shadow. I huffed realizing that I'd have to make due. I wasn't sure what to do with my hair. I had no curling iron or anything so I just left it down.

When I returned to the bedroom, Edward was in a black tux. My breath caught the moment that I got a look at him.

"Wow you look stunning!" He said then moved his index finger around in a circle - he wanted the whole view of me.

I giggled lightly and turned like a ballerina. It was the prettiest I'd ever felt.

When we made it to Cullen & Son's, I became nervous. Edward hadn't mentioned this whole thing to me – neither had Rose. Something just didn't sit right with me.

"Mr. Cullen." The parking guy addressed Edward.

Edward nodded, gave him the car keys, and extended his arm for me to take. I took it –most likely blushing like a little school girl. I felt like a princess in that moment and even if it all went sour… I'd remember that moment forever.

When we walked in, there were a lot of people dancing, drinking, and having a good time. For a second, we went undetected… just a second, then all eyes were on us. It was surreal and I really didn't like it.

Rose wasn't there and I found that kind of strange.

"Edward, where's Rose?" I whispered into his shoulder.

"This isn't a gathering for all employees – just board members."

"Than what the hell am I doing here? I mean I'm just a mail cart lady…" I huffed feeling completely out of sorts.

"I just… I don't know… I guess you're my date. I knew if I told you… you'd never agree to this gathering." He said nonchalantly.

"Why Mr. Cullen… what will the board think of you bringing the new hire to the party?" I chuckled, "You've been a very naughty boy." I snickered.

"Well, let's just say I don't give a fuck. I own the place and I'll hire and date who the hell ever I want." He replied back while grabbing a hand full of my right ass cheek. That alone pushed his newly found bad boy image to whole new heights.

It wasn't long before I saw another handsome face that I recognized.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again. To what do we owe the honor of your presence?" Carlisle asked then hugged me

Before I had a chance to answer, Edward told his father that I was a new hire and that he'd brought me along to meet some of the board members. The look that Edward and Carlisle shared told me that Carlisle suspected a little bit more but he nodded, smiled and welcomed me aboard.

After meeting a few more members, Edward introduced me to a man named James. James was fairly good looking in his own right. He had long blond hair, a muscular build, and the bluest eyes I think I'd ever seen – apart from Edward's of course.

It wasn't long after our introduction that James asked me for a dance. I looked to Edward and he smiled so I agreed – not wanting to be rude.

While we were waltzing James asked me how much.

"How much for what?" I asked him.

"Well you've got to be a prostitute for Edward to keep coming back, so I wouldn't mind a go… how much?" He asked again.

I pulled back from him, "Alright, this dance is over. I'm not a prostitute. I give it a way for free." I smirked. "Too bad you're such an asshole… I might have given you a go." I grinned then left him alone on the dance floor.

Edward had no idea why I was smirking, but to tell you the truth I was embarrassed and I was just trying to keep it together.

"Do you want a drink, Bella?" Edward asked.

"Edward if you don't mind… I'd like to go home." I eyed him.

He didn't even ask me what was wrong or why I wanted to leave. He just nodded and said he had to say goodbye to his father. I was relieved that he didn't ask and more relieved that he never left my side. I was afraid that James would come on to me again and I wasn't sure how to deal with that.

The small amount of time that we'd said our goodbyes to Carlisle, James never took his eyes off of me. He stared at me like I was already undressed and he was fucking me. I had to get the hell out of there fast.

On the car ride home, I told Edward what James had said. I just didn't want it to be some awkward secret that'd come back later and bite me in the ass. He was pissed and promised to deal with James first thing Monday morning. He also assured me that this wouldn't happen at work but if it did, he wanted to be informed right away. Somehow, I knew that he'd handle it for me and even kick James' ass if necessary. That made me smile.

He went on to say that he didn't want this to ruin our night and that he was glad that I was still in high spirits.

Despite the rather rude remark, I was still in a good mood and I didn't want the evening to end. I'm not going to be cliché and say I felt like Cinderella at some damn ball, but it was way out there for me and I loved every second of it.

I reassured Edward that I'd heard far worse at the bar… that I could handle James. Truth be told, I was a little out of my element. If I was in my own clothing, I would've been able to handle that prick far better then what I had.

I just wanted to get home and get out of that dress… as pretty as it was and as sexy as it made me feel… it was also uncomfortable and I just wanted my sweats.

When we arrived back at the hotel, I went straight for the bathroom and that Jacuzzi. Edward told me that he had another surprise for me and that he hoped I liked it. I was curious so I opted for the shower instead of the bath. I could always take one later.

When I was finally finished I made my way to the small kitchen just off of the bedroom. Edward was in nothing but an apron. When he turned around, he asked me if I had a good time despite James's rude remarks. I told him it was great even though James would've been considered more my type – by Rose.

"Well, we didn't get a chance to eat and I was saving dessert for when we got home. I think I've come up with some very inventive ideas for this evening." He smiled.

"What do you have for us?" I asked smirking.

"Well, I call them chocolate cock and banana slit." He smiled but blushed a little.

I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly. It had to be my horny brain misinterpreting what he'd said. I mean, damn, he was standing there in just an apron making my mind wonder about things much more interesting than dessert.

He then suggested that I take the little pink box on the bed and change into something a little more comfortable. I was a total ditz. I looked down at my joggers and I couldn't understand what would be more comfortable.

It was the way he raised one eyebrow at me when he made the suggestion that made me realize that he was talking sexy. I took the pink box and headed for the bedroom. When I opened it I gasped. It wasn't some over the top lingerie. It was a very simple but short, black satin night gown.

With him in only his apron and me in my sexy new night gown I was sure that this would be one hell of a sexy ass night.

When I came out of the bathroom in my night gown, he told me that the first desert was ready and had me sit down,but the chair was turned away from the table. He then walked around in front of me and removed his apron – successfully presenting me with my chocolate covered cock.

I hadn't misheard what he'd said, he was standing before me with an erection covered in chocolate sauce and a smile.

"Bon appetite, I hope you like my desert." He smiled.

I stared at him wide-eyed, smiling, and licking my lips. "Bad boy Cullen." I moaned as I leaned in for my desert.

I didn't want to get any of the chocolate in my hair, so I pulled it to one side and held it in place as I licked the chocolate of his hard cock. I started by using long licks with my tongue – running from his balls to the tip. He shivered and I slowed down my licking to tease him just a bit more.

He was in heaven.

I swirled my tongue around the tip occasionally dipping my tongue into the opening to make sure I got all the chocolate from there as well. After I'd licked most of the chocolate off, I took his whole stiff cock into my mouth… well as much as I could… the man was huge! Then I started sliding my lips up and down his thick shaft.

Edward tangled his hands in my hair as he pushed into my mouth – showing me exactly how much he liked what I was doing and that he wanted more.

Soon, he was fucking my mouth more then I was sucking him off. It didn't take long before he exploded in my mouth. Edward's cum was always sweet but tonight he tasted just like a milk chocolate drop.

"Did you like my desert?" He asked a little winded.

"It was delectable… especially the creamy center." I grinned and wiped the side of my lips.

_Waste not want not._

"It's time to have your other desert but its best served in the bedroom. You go ahead and I'll be there in just a minute," he hummed in my ear.

Of course I complied since I was really interested in finding out what a banana slit was… honestly, as long as it included a couple of orgasms for me I'd be happy with _whatever_ this dessert was.

After a minute, he came in with a tray that had chocolate syrup, caramel, a can of whip cream, maraschino cherries and a banana.

"I hope you didn't wear any panties because if you did… you'd better take them off. I wouldn't want them to get all sticky." He smirked.

I lifted the nighty and showed him that I didn't have any panties on and that I'd just shaved before the party – leaving me with a smooth bare pussy. He licked his lips and instructed me to lay back and open my legs for him.

_This desert is getting very interesting_.

Edward started drizzling the banana with chocolate and slid it between my slick folds… He then added some caramel –topping it off with a large spray of whip cream all over my pussy – adding a cherry for good measure.

"Sorry, Bella, this desert is more for me to eat than for you. I hope you don't mind." He moaned and leaned in.

He started to eat my banana slit, first licking up some of the whip cream from my pussy lips then he took the cherry into his teeth and brought it up to me with a kiss.

"I know how much you love cherries." He whispered then kissed my lips tenderly at first and then licked them delicately. Then he went back to the whip cream – licking and sucking.

It felt ridiculously amazing. My juices were starting to mix with the chocolate on the banana.

When he'd finished licking up the whip cream he started on the caramel and then started to eat the banana, pulling it from my lips with his teeth – nibbling away as his lips brushed my clit.

He finished the banana then started to lick the chocolate off of my pussy with his tongue. I was so close to an orgasm, but he seemed to be enjoying keeping me on the edge and he wouldn't increase the speed or pressure so I could have it.

I really wanted to cum and I was beginning to think he wasn't going to let me. I sat up thinking I'd just start to finger myself to orgasm but I noticed that he was hard again.

I got up and pushed him onto the bed. I straddled him and started riding his glorious cock. With all that foreplay it was only a few minutes and I was gasping and cumming all over the place.

After I recovered, I noticed he was still hard inside me. I almost left him that way for making me wait so damn long for my orgasm but then decided since he did make me such a nice dessert… he didn't deserve to be punished that way.

Instead, I started moving up and down – nice and slow. I was going to draw this out for him as long as he had with his slow banana eating. I slide up slowly then slammed down quickly – sliding up so only the tip of his cock was in me then swirled my pussy around the nub.

After he started to tense from the intense pleasure of my quick movements, I started moving slowly up and down on his shaft all over again. Edward isn't that patient when it comes to his cock and after a few rounds of me teasing him he grabbed hold of my hips and started bucking in and out of me.

Just as I started to feel the first twinge of my looming orgasm, he did an extra hard thrust upwards and came inside me.

"Oh… Fuck, Bella" He bellowed out.

That was enough for me and I joined him.

"Oh god, Edward!" I shrieked.

It was such an incredible orgasm that I think I blacked out for a moment. When I opened my eyes again I was laying down next him and his glistening body.

"Good desert?" He asked.

"The best I've ever had," I whispered.

He smiled and told me that he'd have to make it again for me sometime.

It wasn't long after that when we calmed down.

"Ready for that bath?" He asked.

"You bet!" I shouted in excitement.

No matter what I was to Edward… Side show attraction, poor little helpless girl, fucked up woman, or trailer park trash – I knew that for me, there was no turning back. Edward had rocked my world in more ways than I could count and I wasn't about to give up the best fuck I'd ever had.

Saturday had started out as a bust then became better only to turn sour then became all kinds of sweet. I even realized just how much I truly cared for him.

All I could do now was pray like hell that he wouldn't break my heart.

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**Alright that's it. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. FYI The Salvation Army is a thrift store in Canada and some of the United States. Remember to review; they light a fire under my ass ;) Until next time FF… April**


	7. Chapter 7 Fresh starts

**Chapter 7**

**Fresh starts**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, ****VERY**** long & detailed lemon and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**This lemon was inspired by roon0, mydaughterbella, Twi_lightLady, robinsff, niccib23 and probably more that I'm forgetting. These women love their lemons and I hope you guys love it.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my ladies on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal. **

**My beta and good friend Dee, who makes my stories so much better.**

**Mydaughterbella for taking on the grammar for me… you're the best. **

**I'm learning so much from both of you.**

**My husband, I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my life. **

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

All goddamn night I dreamed about Edward's chocolate covered cock. I'd have it for every meal if my ass wouldn't get any bigger.

So far, Sunday had started off relatively simple – eating breakfast and watching TV –something I never did until I met Edward.

Edward was changing a lot of things about me lately and I couldn't help but feel like I was losing a small piece of myself. I knew that most of my life deserved to be put out on the curb – like Tuesday's garbage, but there were things that I just didn't want to give up.

Edward never forced the changes on me of course. I think I may have done them to impress him or be somebody that was up to his standards. Edward liked me before all these changes so why the hell was I changing now?

_Fucked if I know._

I got up from the couch without saying anything and headed for the bathroom. Edward eyed me strangely but never said a word. I don't know why I never liked Television - perhaps there was nothing on it but devastation and disaster. My life was already full of that bullshit and I suppose I didn't want to add more to it.

When I got in the shower, I let the hot water trickle down my back. I seriously needed a massage to work out all the kinks but the shower would _have_ to do for now. Soon, I found myself digging my fingernails into the ceramic tile. I was miserable and I had no fucking idea why.

Edward was showing me a world that I believed never existed, and yet I still wasn't happy? I knew what the culprit was but I just didn't want to deal with it at all.

_Why can't I just live in my fantasy world with Edward? Why can't I just let him wisp me off into the sunset? What the fuck is wrong with me? _

Before long, I found myself sitting on the floor of the tub – wrapping my arms around myself as I sobbed. What I was doing wasn't right. It was downright unforgivable. I was a horrible person.

I'd went from being miserably married – but married all the same… to cheating and leaving my husband for my lover. This morning I'd went from not wanting Edward to change me to wanting to forget that I had problems. I just let him hold me so I'd forget about them and just be content in his arms.

My life had went from complicated to a complex, fucked up, dark twisted flop. How was I going to prove to myself that I could have all of this? How was I going to be someone else and start over? I knew that people did this all the time. Their school sucked, relationship sucked, family sucked so… they moved out of town. They tried a new school, ended said relationship and went on the hunt to find someone new - start completely over.

The problem was I'd never started over before. My life had always been… my life. I'd never had falsified dreams or even just dreams in general.

"Bella," Edward bellowed from the doorway, but I couldn't answer him.

"Bella!" His voice got higher and still I couldn't answer him.

The next few seconds happened relatively fast. Edward pulled back the shower curtain to find me in a fetal position on the tub floor. He scooped me up into his arms and placed me down on the bed then wrapped his arms around me until I stopped crying.

"What is it Bella?" he asked, pulling back a strand of my wet hair and tucking it behind my ear.

I wasn't quite sure what the hell was wrong with me to even start this conversation. I was completely and utterly fucked up. How could I explain any of this to anyone if I didn't understand it myself?

"Bella, you can tell me what's on your mind," Edward pressed.

"I just… I don't know… I just don't know why I can't allow myself to be happy," I blabbered on.

"Happy… do I not make you happy?" He asked the one question that I'd hoped he wouldn't.

"I'm content with you… and I know that you bring happiness into my life but I'm still not there yet."

"I see."

"It's not that you don't treat me well, Edward. It's just that I'm fucked I guess… I've got so much to deal with and yet I deal with nothing. It's just all getting to me." I stated, not quite sure how to explain things to him.

"What does Bella need?" He asked.

How the fuck was I supposed to answer that question when I didn't even know what the fuck I needed? Did he not just hear what I said?

"I don't know, Edward." I stated a little annoyed.

Edward never said much after that - nothing… not even "kiss my ass" or a "fuck you"… nothing. I felt bad like I'd hurt his feelings and I just didn't' know how to fix it. I'd tried to be as honest as I could with him – afraid that something like this might happen and yet here we sit – unmoving and quiet.

Where do we go from here? It seemed like a relatively stupid question but still I'd never had this sort of conversation with Jake. We'd always just argued and after a few hours we'd went about our day like nothing had happened – I'd never dealt with shit.

I watched Edward from the little kitchen lay back on the bed. He looked generally content and at peace. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd be like that someday – without being so uptight all the time? Oh how I wanted that.

"Edward, I think I'm just lonely," I whispered.

He propped himself up onto his elbows to address me but his expression shouted out confusion.

"Lonely? I can't be home all the time, Bella. I'm sorry for that, but once you start working with me you won't be lonely anymore… you'll see." He smiled.

"It's not that Edward, It's the fact that I have no friends or family around and well… as much as I fucking hate their bullshit… I love them none the less." I eyed him.

"What do you want to do?" He asked.

"I was thinking I'd phone my dad… maybe tell him what's going on."

Edward's smile reached his eyes then, and I was strangely taken back by that. Why the hell would he be so happy about this? My dad was sure to give me one hell of a tongue lashing.

"I think that's a great idea. I'll go with you if you like." He smiled and sat up on the bed.

"No… thanks, but I think I need to do this on my own… ya know?" I shyly looked up from the ground at him.

"I'll drive you there. I've got to make a few stops in Forks. Then you can call me when you're ready to leave." He got up from the bed to put his shoes on.

I was momentarily shocked and my feet felt like they were cemented into the ground. I'd wanted to tell my father for such a long time about Jake but I always feared that he wouldn't believe me. Well, I guess I knew he wouldn't, but it was time – if I'd planned to move forward with Edward.

_What the fuck am I saying? _

I don't know if I'm moving on from Jake or moving on with Edward. I wasn't even sure if I was ready to move on at all – period. I couldn't understand why Edward thought this situation was easy – just be with him and poof everything is all wonderful? I had shit to deal with and it wasn't going to be an overnight change.

My mind for the last few weeks has been all over the damn place and I could feel myself falling into depression… perhaps I was already there but was never aware of the fucking thing.

When we got in the car to go, Edward seemed like a little kid anticipating Santa Clause.

"What's with you?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I know this'll be tough for you but I think it's time your father knows the truth. He's so blinded by what's right in front of his eyes, and I guess… I hope that he'll step up and plant that asshole in jail where he belongs." He whispered at first and then his voice got just a little bit louder.

I watched as a very evil little grin became prominent on his face as his eyes squinted up like he was focused on some damn prize. Edward was getting a cheap thrill out of my father possibly shooting Jake.

_Is it fucked for me to enjoy the thought as well?_

As we passed the "Welcome to Forks" sign, my heart had now left my chest and was beating rapidly in my throat. I wasn't at all sure how to start this conversation with my father nor was I sure how he'd react, but it had to be done.

As much as I was scared, I was also anxious to get this out.

I gave Edward the directions on how to get to my father's house but asked if he'd drop me off just a few blocks down the road. He never questioned my plea he just did as I asked – as per usual.

Sometimes I wished he'd say "hell no," but this time, I was glad he didn't argue with me. Today was going to be a hard day as it was, and I didn't need it to be worse by arguing with Edward.

Edward dropped me off a few blocks down from my father's house and instructed me to call him "no matter what" when I was ready to go. I nodded and watched as his car left me standing there on the sidewalk. A part of me wanted to run after him – flailing my arms until he stopped. I wanted to runaway and never look back on this place but I knew that this place – no matter how bad – held a piece of my heart.

I wasn't even sure if my father would be home. Normally on Sundays he goes fishing with Jakes dad, Billy Black. That was the other thing that was going to be hard… Billy. He was like a father to me. A father that I'd always wished I had. Charlie was my dad but he never truly paid much attention to me. I was just simply in the room and that was it.

Billy had even explained my period to me and the changes of womanhood – the importance of love and sex and how I should dress if I wanted respect from a man. He was a great father and I wondered how the hell Jake had turned out the way he had –having a father like Billy.

As the small little white house came into view, I found myself dragging my feet along the cement – I was stalling. I stopped dead in my tracks, looked at the house, and took a deep breath before walking up the driveway.

When I arrived at the front door I heard the music of Toby Keith coming from the backyard. I smiled then – Dad and his country music. As I approached the backyard my dad was laying back in his lawn chair. The radio was beside him on a beer box and he had a beer in his hand.

He heard me approach.

"Bella!" He shot out excitedly as he placed his beer down and engulfed me in a hug.

"Hey dad, what are you up to?"

"Just taking in some sun," he chuckled. "Want a sandwich?" I smiled and nodded.

When we entered the house, things got a little quiet. My father, being a police officer, could sniff out trouble a mile away… but oddly enough he never sniffed out Jake. I think it was just because Jake meant so much to my dad, and to be fair to my dad… not only did Jake pretend to be someone else all these years but he was good at manipulating everyone – including my father.

I knew that this news was going to break my father's heart but he needed to understand why I did the things I did – why I'd left Jake and why I'd never told him about it.

"What's going on Bells?" He asked across the kitchen table.

"Dad I left Jake." I said. I stopped to see how he took that first.

"For that Edward guy?" He eyed me.

"No, I mean maybe… Jake and I just aren't working anymore." I sighed.

"Marriage is hard work… you've got to work at it," he said.

"Like you and Mom did?" The words spewed out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them.

_Great! Now he's looks sad._

"I would've worked things out with your mother if she would've given me the chance." He spoke looking out the window.

"Dad she left you for another man. You deserve better." I placed my hand on his while he looked me in the eyes.

"Yes, and so does Jake." His eyes narrowed in on me, and even though I knew what he meant, the words stung.

"Listen, I have to tell you something - something that I've been keeping secret for so many years. Can you listen to me? I mean _really_ listen to what I have to say?" I asked as he continued to stare – unmoving.

"Dad, I'm not leaving Jake because I fell out of love with him and in love with someone else. My actions are not the same as Mom's. I know this is hard to understand right now but please know that I love you and I can no longer put up with Jake's mess."

"How can you say that you're _not_ acting like your mother, Bella? You're acting like a little tramp! You married a man for better or worse and you don't just toss everything aside so you can get fucked!" He screamed at me and stood up from the table.

Tears started to well in my eyes. How could my father think I was a tramp? Didn't he know me at all? I guess not. I knew that I didn't give him many options because I'd hidden the truth from him all along, but this… this was just cruel.

I stood from the table calm and collected before I spoke the next words that came out of my mouth. It was now or never, and I was so tired of it all.

"Well daddy, the son you never had beats your little girl! He has beaten me on many occasions, tells me how to dress, how to live! He cheats with anything that has a pussy and constantly shoves that white powder up his nose – which has resulted in our financial troubles!" I spewed and watched as the anger reached his face.

"You don't have to believe me because simply put "Father…" I don't give a _damn_ what you think. I've met someone extraordinary who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. I don't know where Edward and I are going but I'm willing to find out." I yelled and headed for the door.

As my hand reached the door handle I felt my father's large hand cup my shoulder with brute strength and spin me around so I was facing him. The rage that filled his eyes was unmistakable and when his left hand connected with the side of my face… I knew that our so called "father/daughter" relationship was over. I'd hurt him in the worst possible way. I'd embarrassed him just as my mother had, and he'd never believe me or forgive me for what I'd done to him.

I stood there staring up at the man that I no longer knew. Perhaps I never knew him and couldn't help but feel that I _wasn't_ losing much. I nodded, turned and walked out the front door – back into the warm sun.

As I walked down the street, this strange smile reached my face. I had no idea why I was smiling or why the hell this situation had made me happy?

Perhaps for the first time in my life I really was free – free from all the restrictions of my past and free to start a new.

I hadn't made it far from my father's house before I had this urge to see Edward. He made everything so much better.

"Bella, are you ready?" He answered his phone.

"Yep… could you meet me at Izzy's? There's just one more thing I need to take care of before we go back to Seattle."

"No, I don't want you going in there alone. Let me come with you?" He begged.

I thought about it for a second and then said, "What the hell. I'm just a block from my dad's come and get me."

Edward was thrilled that I wasn't pushing him away or trying to put myself in more danger.

_His words_.

A part of me kept asking why I was being so stupid and then the other part was smiling ready to give everyone the show they'd been waiting for.

When Edward pulled up, I was sitting under the shade of a big oak tree on one of my father's neighbor's property.

I watched as he parked the car, got out, and sat down beside me.

He noticed the red handprint that I wore on my right cheek and rubbed the pad of his thumb across it as he swallowed hard and tucked my head into his chest.

We didn't say anything to one another for a while. Instead, we just sat there while I let him hold me the way no one else had ever held me before. I'd dreamed of this feeling my whole life… the feeling of being wanted… needed, and every time Edward wrapped me in his arms I melted away – forgetting about the fucked up world that I lived in. All that existed was the strength of his embrace, the softness of his skin and the fragrance that only he wore.

Once I'd had my fill, I stood up from the ground, wiped my ass off and reached out my hand for him to take. He smiled up at me, took my hand and pulled me hard into his chest for one last embrace before we headed for the car.

I knew what had to be done next. I had to "officially" leave Jake.

**Edward's point of view**

I wasn't sure what had taken place between Bella and her father. She'd never mentioned anything to me, but I knew that it wasn't a good conversation due to the red hand print that was apparent on her face.

I'd wanted to go back to her father's and tell him how much of a dead beat he was and a piss poor excuse for a father, but I also didn't want to interfere in her personal life – I'd medaled enough.

When she told me that she wanted to go to Izzy's, I panicked. I definitely didn't want her to go there on her own. I was glad she didn't fight me on the issue.

I guess we were making progress. I'd compromised, she'd compromised. Maybe we'd work out after all… who knows.

As we parked outside of Izzy's, I wasn't sure if she wanted me to accompany her inside or if she wanted me to wait in the car. I'd hoped she wanted me by her side because if she didn't I was going to be peeking through the windows.

We sat there silently in the car for what felt like an eternity until Bella sighed and reached for the door handle. For a split second my heart was racing. I wanted to reach out and grab her by the arm and beg her not to go in but I didn't.

When she finally was standing on the pavement, she looked back at me and asked me if I was coming. I smiled, shut the car off, locked the doors and stood beside her on the other side of the car. What shocked me the most was when she looked down, bit her bottom lip then took my hand into hers.

I realized in that moment what she'd come here to do. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy as shit that she'd chosen me over Jake, but there was this part of me that was scared for her. Everything she'd dreaded saying and doing, she was about to do, but she wasn't going to do this alone. I was going to be right by her side and so help me god if he touches her… I'll kill the motherfucker.

She stopped just in front of the door and ran her hand down the handle… caressing it as if it was her long lost love.

"I'd had so many plans for this place. It's a shame that it's come to this and so sad that I've wasted so many years wanting so much from her," she whispered

"It's not over Bella. You can still have her if you want her. You could buy Jake out and have her all to yourself." I stated not quite sure why I said it, but I knew that even though I thought this place was a god damn burden… she loved it.

"No, Edward, I know what I have to do. Although I'd seen so much potential in Izzy's I also can't stand the fact that it's named after a nick name that I loathe and there are no good memories here – just broken promises and heartache. It's time to move on." She sighed.

I stood there for a moment eyeing the place trying my damnedest to figure out what she'd seen in it. It was old and the history I knew excited her, but my God… the money that it would take to fix it up was ridiculous… and for what… for the bikers, drug dealers and the fucked up people in this town to ruin it the moment it was a classy place?

She sucked in a deep breath, closed her eyes and pulled the door open – dragging me behind her.

When we entered, it was dark and gloomy – kind of how the atmosphere felt in that moment. People stared us down like we were the plague as we walked towards the bar.

Jake had his back to us leaning against the bar talking to some blonde that was behind it. The young girl was giggling at something he was saying and then there was Alice standing next to her. Her eyes bulged out of their sockets as we got closer.

Jake must have noticed the strange reaction on Alice's face because his head turned in her direction before he turned to look at us from over his shoulder.

He was no longer smiling.

I was smiling.

"Jake, can we talk in the office?" She asked.

We were standing no more than a foot in front of him when she'd asked the question.

"Sure." He eyed me.

As we started to walk in behind the bar, Jake stopped dead in his tracks.

"What the fuck is he doing?" He bellowed then pointed his fingers in my direction.

"This involves him as much as is does you. I'd like to talk to you both," she stated.

"He's not coming into my fucking office. If you want to talk to me Izzy then we'll talk, but not him… no fucking way!" He screamed and gathered the attention of the whole five customers in the bar.

"It's him and me or nothing!" She huffed back.

"Is that how it is?" He chuckled.

"Yes."

"So you're with him now?"

We both looked to Bella in that moment. I was fuming and wanted to rip his fucking head off for making her blush. She was so embarrassed by his actions. He was so far from a fucking man it wasn't even funny.

"If you'd rather everyone out here know our business, then I'll be glad to let them all know what a fucking asshole you are." She seethed through her teeth.

Jacob didn't like what Bella was asking of him but he also didn't want everyone in the bar to know what he'd done – including the new hot blonde number behind the bar. He gritted his teeth, turned, and headed towards the office.

Alice stared at Bella like she wanted to say something to her but never did. Instead, she glared at me like this was all my fault. I'd gladly take the blame if it lightened the blow on Bella. It was the least that I could do. Everything that was happening to her was my fault. I should've kept my hands to myself that night but I just couldn't. And now, I'd have her to myself… the way I'd intended it to be… but at what cost?

When we walked into the office, Jake slammed the door and the yelling began.

"Where the fuck do you get off… bringing that fucking asshole in here Izzy? Do you think this little of me? Don't I deserve better than this?" Jake screamed.

Bella took in a deep breath to calm herself but the rage was imminent in her eyes.

"Didn't I deserve better Jake? Didn't I deserve a husband that was faithful and loved me more than life it's self? Cherished me the way that I deserved? You've done a lot of things to me Jake that I just can't forgive. I came here today to tell you that I can no longer go on with this marriage. I want a divorce." She said calmly.

"Well Izzy, I'm not going to give you one! For what? So you can be with him?" He screamed again pointing at me.

If he pointed at me one more fucking time I was going to break his goddamn fingers.

"Edward and I are what we are. We're figuring out things as we go along. I don't know where we're going or if we'll make it but I care about him and it has nothing to do with me wanting a divorce." Her voice was shaky now and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I'd be here for however long she'd want me.

"What the fuck ever, Izzy, you've wanted money… always wanted money and you're just using him. You'll be back. I know you will." He smiled then reached out and ran his hand down Bella's cheek.

I couldn't help myself. I reached out and ripped his hand from her face then stood between them.

"Don't touch her… she's not yours to touch anymore." I growled as he laughed.

"Wake up douche. She just wants your money. She doesn't love you." He chuckled again.

"What's the matter Jake? Afraid that I can provide all the things for her that you never could? Afraid that I can show her what love really is… what it's like to have a real man in the bedroom?" I grinned back in his face and sent him over the top.

Jake pressed his chest to mine and glared me down while I smiled in his god damn face. We were like two bulls – steam was coming from our noses. Bella got between us then.

"Jake, I don't love you anymore and you don't love me. We might have loved one another a long time ago but that love is tainted now. Let's just cut our losses and move on. You always found someone else. You were never faithful to me, and that alone should show you that you never cared for me. If you did, you wouldn't have done that." Bella started to sob.

Jake took it the wrong way thinking that she still cared for him and leaned in to touch her again. I placed Bella behind me.

"Get out of my fucking way, Cullen!" He screamed.

I shook my head no while Bella pulled my arm. I wanted to stay there. I wanted to smack the fucker around but it was apparent that this wasn't what Bella wanted.

"We're not done here, Cullen!" He screamed as we headed back out into the bar.

"My lawyers will be in touch Mr. Black, and you're right… we're far from done. The next time I see you touch her… I'll break your fucking hands so that you'll never be able to touch another woman as long as you fucking live." I grinned as I whispered into his ear.

When we made it to Alice's side, she tugged at Bella's arm.

"Please Izzy, don't do this. You and my brother will work this all out. Just give him a chance. You loved him once and you love him still. Don't walk away from him," she whispered.

Bella never said anything. She just stared at her sister-in-law and then back at Jake. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes as she took Alice's hand off of her forearm.

"What will your father think?" Alice yelled as we headed towards the front door.

Bella stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and headed back towards Alice – leaving me in the middle of the bar.

"I'm so fucking tired of this shit!" Bella screamed. This time she gained everyone's attention in the place including my brother's band who stopped playing.

"My father already knows about everything! I told him today!" She yelled – this time gaining Jake's shocked expression, "And he can go to hell along with that motherfucker!"

"Jake is a fucking whore master, likes his fucking coke way too fucking much, and loves to beat the shit out of women. Where the fuck did I get all the fucking black eyes from Alice? Huh? Why was I in the hospital? It sure as fuck wasn't because of some attacker! It was that motherfucker right there!" Bella screamed at the top of her lungs as she pointed at Jake. "You can all go fuck yourselves!" She chuckled then her face turned crimson red as she turned, smiled, and headed right back to me.

When she was in front of me I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head as I stared at Jake, Alice and the blonde woman who was now shocked as hell. I smiled at Jake while I kissed her hair again and pulled her in that much tighter then let a small moan escape my lips. It was immature, I know, and my male ego had taken over in that moment but I couldn't resist pissing him off.

As we made it to my car, Bella was still tucked under my arms.

Jasper ran up behind us.

"Edward!" He hollered.

When he reached us he was out of breath.

"Edward, I just wanted to tell you that whatever this is that you're doing with Bella… I support you both. I love Bella like she's my sister and I hope that you both find happiness." He rushed out.

"Thank you Jazz." I nodded.

"But you have to be careful. There are things about Jake that both of you don't know. He hangs around some very bad people and I just don't want to see either of you get hurt." He eyed me.

"Thank you" I said again eyeing him.

I knew what Jazz was telling me. We'd warned each other for years… when we needed Felix.

Felix wasn't just my doorman he was also my family's personal bodyguard. We'd used him from time to time but nothing more than seeing who was coming in and out of our residence.

When I took over my father's business, I'd received a few death threats and had Felix watch the door at my apartment. No one knew that Felix worked for me… the old doorman suddenly up and quit and Felix was there to pick up the job. The owner of the apartment pays him good money. It's legit, but I also pay him for his time. He's doing well so don't feel sorry for Felix… he's good at what he does. Now I'd have to tell him about Jake.

_What the fuck is one more guy?_

I had no idea where the death threats had come from but I knew it wasn't Jake because they came well before Jake even knew that Bella and I were together. But now, I'd have to explain Felix's relationship to Bella. I knew I didn't have to but I wanted her to know in case she was ever home alone and Jake showed up. She'd know that she could call on Felix.

When we arrived back at the hotel, I called Felix and asked him if we could come back to the apartment yet. He said no. They were still fixing up the damages and the fire department was doing an investigation. We'd likely have to stay at the hotel for the week. I wasn't at all happy about that.

"Felix, I need you here at the hotel. I'll explain when you get here. Is there any way you can take the week off from the apartment and be here?" I asked.

"No worries, boss, I've got some vacation time. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up.

When I told Bella about Felix, she wasn't at all surprised that I'd have someone like that around me. She said that she assumed something was up because even doormen get some time off. I smiled and kissed her softly telling her that everything was going to be alright.

She was so tired. I laid her back on the bed and tucked her into my arms. When she finally fell asleep, I pulled the blankets around her small frame, kissed her forehead, and heard a knock at the door.

I walked quickly, looked out the peep hole to see Felix, then stepped outside into the hall – lightly closing the door behind me.

"What's going on boss?" Felix asked.

I told him everything from Bella and I having a one nightstand to Jake beating her all the time and Jasper's warning. He nodded then asked me for a picture of Jake. I went back into the hotel room and rummaged through Bella's belongings. No picture. Not even her wallet held a wedding picture of them. I sighed not knowing where to go from there when I saw her cell phone sitting on the counter.

I picked it up and scanned through it. I smiled when I saw a picture of Rosalie, Alice and Bella huddled together – holding up their beers and sticking out their tongues. She looked so happy. I kept going through them and then finally found a picture of her and Jake. He had his arm wrapped around her with a large white smile on his face. He looked like the happiest fucker in the world but Bella wasn't smiling. In fact, she was looking away in a different direction wearing a black eye that even makeup couldn't cover up.

"Here he is." I waved the phone at Felix, disgusted at the picture, and looked back to Bella. I found myself walking back over to her and laying back down beside her and pushed a few fallen strands of hair behind her ear.

"Okay boss, I won't forget his face. I'll be right outside the door." Felix whispered and placed the cell back down on the small kitchen counter then saw himself out.

I never took my eyes off of Bella's sound and peaceful face the entire night. When morning came and she finally opened her eyes to look at me, she smiled.

"Good morning beautiful," I yawned out my smile.

"Did you sleep at all?" She asked.

"I got a few winks." I grinned.

"Edward, you have to work today. You should've slept." She scolded.

"I've got a meeting today… I'll sleep then." I chuckled then yawned again.

"Work… oh, fuck Edward, we're going to be late!" She yelled then tossed back the blankets and ran for the shower.

I chuckled lightly as I watched her run to the bathroom a tussled mess. It wasn't long before my eyes started to feel heavy and I decided that I would rest my eyes for just a few minutes. The next thing I knew, Bella is yelling… scaring the fucking shit out of me.

"What… what the fuck is it?" I hollered sitting up quickly on the bed.

"Edward, we're late… oh fuck I can't be late on my first day." She cried.

I stood up and looked at the clock, it was ten o'clock in the morning we were two hours late.

"Bella, my meeting starts at one and I hired you remember? I'm your boss so you don't have to worry about being late." I grinned giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Still Edward, I don't want people thinking that I have special privileges because I'm… um… dating the boss." She giggled, finally making me smile.

As I started to head towards the bathroom, what she'd said finally hit me. I turned around and pulled her into my arms.

"So it's official, we're dating?" I asked.

"If you want to label it… then yes, I suppose we are. Now go get ready." She scolded me again.

I eyed her, removed myself from her probably naked frame under that white cotton hotel housecoat…_ trust me it was very hard to do_… and walked into the shower. When I was finished, I was looking down fiddling with my fucking tie. Fuck, I hate those things.

"Here, let me help." Bella offered.

"You don't have to make excuses to touch me." I laughed looking up for the first time.

She took my god damn breath away. She was wearing a black pencil skirt, black panty hose and white blouse, which showed just the right amount of cleavage. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with a few strands that fell loosely around her ears with long silver dangly earrings and six inch high heels.

She bit her bottom lip and ran her hands up my chest as her fingers ran up and down my tie. I couldn't help but think about those fingers of hers stroking my cock. A small growl escaped my lips in anticipation of her skirt around her hips. She eyed me for a few minutes then took a step back.

"Alright, all done, Edward. We should get going." She smirked then grabbed her small black purse off of the kitchen counter.

She knew what she was doing to me and if we didn't get going we'd be taking the day off because I'd be fucking her tight little pussy all god damn day. I groaned, grabbed my suitcase and walked with her to the door.

"Do I look alright?" She asked taking a step back so that I could get a good look at her.

I swallowed hard and told her that she looked _too_ good. She slapped at my arm and rolled her eyes at me.

Felix held the door opened for us and when he got a look at Bella, his eyes became as big as saucers. I gave him a stern warning and the smile left his fucking face. I felt like a total asshole… someone like Jake in that moment.

"I'm sorry Felix. I don't know what's gotten into me today," I apologized.

"No worries, boss, I understand completely." He grinned even wider.

Felix drove us to the office and when we arrived and got into the elevator, I noticed that Bella was fiddling with her skirt.

"Everything alright?"

"I should've worn something a little less revealing. Noone here is wearing a skirt. It's all dress pants and I just don't feel like I'm dressed appropriately." She awkwardly shifted in her clothes.

"Listen," I tuned to her. "You look wonderful. I'd like to take you right here in the elevator." I grinned down at her and kissed the little nook where her neck and shoulder met.

She chuckled at first and then melted into my touch. When the doors opened, she shyly looked down and softly pushed me away. Rosalie met me at the elevator with my coffee –something she did every morning when the front desk notified her that I'd arrived. She coughed letting me know that she was there and when I looked up to her she was blushing along with Bella.

"Good morning Rosalie." I whispered with a smile.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen." She smiled back.

"This is the new hire, Bella… Bella, Rosalie." I introduced the two - giving the phony introductions.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," Rose greeted.

"It's nice to meet you too, Rosalie." Bella giggled.

"I expect you to show Mrs. Black the ropes." I told Rosalie. I hated calling her that but people were looking.

"I will, Mr. Cullen." She smiled and I left them.

When I got into my office, I opened the blinds – something I never do. Before long, James was knocking at my door. I hadn't forgotten what Bella'd told me he'd done at the party.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

I nodded and told him to shut the door.

"James, Bella is working here now and I expect you to treat her with respect… at all times. You will _not_ carry on the way you did at the party. Do I make myself clear?" I eyed him.

"Crystal." He whispered.

"Good, now I'm late and I have some things to get ready before this meeting so if you don't mind." I waved him off.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't know that she was that important to you." He apologized before he headed out of my office.

"It doesn't matter what she is to me. As of today, she's an employee here and I will _not _allow this behavior to take place. Do I have to remind you of sexual harassment in the workplace?" I asked. He knew damn well what I was talking about.

James had hit on the receptionist before Rosalie and landed this company a rather large lawsuit. My father, of course, loving James, took pity on him and gave him a second chance with only a warning.

"No, I got it. See you at one." He mumbled heading out of my office.

I tried to get to work but I couldn't help but watch Bella push her little cart around –smiling as she delivered the other employees their mail. The men were drooling and I couldn't blame them. She was polite as she introduced herself to them and apologized for being late. The men didn't care. They were just happy that I'd replaced the old busted up lady with a shiny new one.

I continued to stare at her –watching as she'd lean over the cart and _fuck me_… she had a large slit down the back of her skirt just below her ass. This time, an envelope fell to the floor and when she bent over, her ass was directly in front of my window. She wasn't wearing pantyhose at all. She was wearing black stockings and a garter belt

I'd admired how sexy she looked in her little get up – how it looked on her gorgeous body and that god damn sexy ass walk of hers all morning.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed the porn magazine that I had in the top drawer of my desk. I stuffed it in my pants and headed for the bathroom.

_Don't judge me. I needed her bad and I couldn't do a fucking thing about it._

When I was in the bathroom stall, teasing my cock and thinking about Bella – really getting into it, I suddenly realized that I was late for the meeting. I'd lost track of time.

As I bolted, I nearly collided with Bella.

I started to blurt out a hurried apology about being late for a meeting – fucking choking on my own words when she gazed down at my crotch and licked her lips.

I realized that I still had a partial hard on from my bathroom masturbation but I kept my cool… barely. She quickly straightened herself out of my arms and replied to my apology with a raised eyebrow and a cheerful "No problem."

I apologized again. That time a little embarrassed of my actions, and rushed back to my desk where I quickly stashed the magazine. I grabbed my notebook and headed for the meeting.

As I walked down the hall, I caught the back of Bella swaying her hips. She turned slightly as she heard me approach. She gave me a small little grin and I noticed that her tits bounced as she walked. I found myself staring at her swaying ass and sexy body.

Luckily, the meeting started late and I got there just as the doors were closing. It went on for a couple of hours and was boring as hell. My mind wondered back to Bella and I smiled. Did she really notice my hard on? I sighed and tried to focus on the meeting. It finally ended at three.

Back at my desk, I sat down with the intention of resuming working on the latest building we were trying to snag, but I just couldn't. My mind was back on Bella.

"Mr. Cullen," Rosalie answered the phone.

"Yes, could you send Bella in here please? I haven't received my mail yet today." I lied sticking the stack of envelopes into the top drawer alongside my dirty magazine.

"Sure thing, Mr. Cullen." Rose said with a little bit of a giggle in her voice.

It wasn't long after that when Bella knocked at my door.

"Please come in." I smiled and stood up to greet her.

"I brought your mail, Mr. Cullen. I left it right there on your desk." She practically cried.

"Please have a seat." I pointed to the chair, shut the door, and started working on the blinds.

People were whispering and eyeing my windows but when I gave them all the death stare, they went back to work.

"Edward, I really did bring your mail in here," she stated looking for the damn envelope when I locked the door.

I came up behind her and grinded my cock into her ass while I nibbled on her neck. Her hands cupped the side of the desk to hold herself from sliding on top of it from my hard thrust.

She laughed and said, "I think I know what this is about." She paused waiting for my reply but I was speechless and my lips were otherwise engaged. Her voice was confident and a bit sultry.

I felt a wave of excitement and an awaking in my groin. She pressed her back into my shoulder and I turned her around. Her thigh pressed against mine. My cock hardened to whole new heights. She was smiling when she pushed me down into my chair and stood next to where I was sitting. My eyes were at her chest level and she made no attempt to move.

I wined on about being tired and over worked. It barely made sense and sounded ridiculously lame but that's all I had at the moment. She laughed wholeheartedly, squeezed my shoulders, and pushed slightly against me. I felt her thigh against mine again and this time her breast brushed lightly against my chest.

She slowly lowered her eyes down to my crotch and back up. My cock was hardening and I'm sure that it was visible through my pants. She sat next to some papers on my desk cross legged then gave me a sly look.

"I noticed your hard on earlier when you left the bathroom, Edward. Being curious and nosy of what was sticking out of the back of your pants… I came into your office and noticed the porn. I took it into the bathroom with me and I read it through. I liked it, Edward, you have good taste."

I nervously looked down and thanked her.

_Had she masturbated in the bathroom like me?_

"I couldn't help myself. You just looked so fucking good today." I stood pressing myself into her core and kissing her neck.

"I was hoping you'd say that," she breathed out.

Slowly, she uncrossed her legs and spread them apart then placed her feet so they were flat on the desk near her ass. Her skirt was now above her hips.

"I want you to jerk off for me, Edward. Right now… in here. I want to see you play with your cock." She tugged at her skirt bringing it higher up on her hips.

I saw the crotch of her red, silky thongs. She seductively ran her fingertips up and down her panties just over her wet pussy.

"Do you have a lot of cum for me, Edward?" She rasped out.

My throat went dry. My cock ached and I had trouble talking. She kept stroking her pussy through her panties.

"Did you cum in the men's room thinking of me?" She whispered.

"Oh…" I couldn't speak. She was rocking my fucking world.

She started massaging her pussy with her flat palm and fingers.

"Did you pump cum out of your cock today, Edward?" She asked again.

"No." I choked.

Bella started pushing her fingers into her pussy as far as her panties would let them go. She moved her hips rhythmically to meet the pressure from her hand.

"So the last time was when you were with me?" she asked.

I couldn't speak. My cock was hard as hell. "Yes." I groaned wanting nothing more than to touch her.

She smiled, "Good. So you have lots for me?" She continued playing with her pussy as her hand and hips moved a bit faster and harder.

She didn't say anything for a minute or two. She just continued to pleasure herself and never stopped staring at me.

"Take your pants off." She ordered in a sultry, throaty whisper. "I told you. I want you to jerk off for me. C'mon Edward… your cock is hard and I can see it throbbing. You know you want to jack off for me. Why else did you call me in here? Just take off your pants so I can see your hard thick cock." She growled.

I groaned and started taking off my shoes.

"That's it, Edward."

I managed to get out of my shoes, stand up. I letting my pants drop and stepped out of them. I watched as she bit down on her bottom lip when my cock sprang forth.

"Oh… so good, Edward." She cooed in adoration. "I want you to stroke it for me."

I started to reach for my very prominent hard cock when she stopped me.

"I want you to do it the way I ask you." She smiled. I nodded.

_This woman was going to be my death._

"Now, do as I say. Put your hard cock close to my pussy… here… closer… that's it. Now lick your thumb and index finger. Get them wet… that's it. Good. Lick the area between them… like this."

She showed me by licking her own hand. "Good… now make a ring with your thumb and index finger… circle the head right under the rim… do not touch the shaft… just the head… good that's it… now jack your head off lightly, up and down from the rim to the tip and back… yeah that's it… back and forth, back and forth… good. Keep your fingers wet. Lick them when you need to."

I started jacking off the way that she instructed me to. The sensations were intense, and I had to keep resisting the urge to squeeze my shaft. It made me moan and thrust my hips.

"Very good, Edward. I love watching you stand there in front of me… jerking off like this." She kept playing with herself as she gazed intently into my eyes. This was really turning me on!

After a while, she continued, "Now keep watching me. Don't take your eyes off me." She got off the desktop and turned around so that her ass was pointing at me. Her skirt had dropped back down to her knees again. She turned a bit so that she could see me over her shoulder.

"Look at my ass, Edward." She wiggled it – taunting me further. "Do you want to see it?"

I was starting to pant a little bit as the pleasure my cock was experiencing became more intense. "Yes... uh huh… I do!" I growled through clenched teeth.

"I thought so. Keep jerking off for me… that's it. Your dick is so nice and hard… I bet it'd feel good inside me. Can you feel the cum boiling in your balls?"

"Yes." I panted.

"Watch my ass." She slowly started raising her skirt. Her leering smile and her teasing, luxurious motions made me even more turned on.

My cock was rigid and throbbing. My stroking was getting more and more intense. I was beginning to pant more deeply and my hips thrust harder and faster. Finally, her skirt was up to her waist revealing her round, full ass. She started playing with the elastic waistband of her panties as she slowly teased them off of her.

After many teasing and agonizing minutes of torture she had her panties down and pulled them all the way off. She slid both her hands between her folds. She pulled her ass cheeks apart and gave herself a slight tap on the rump.

My cock was throbbing and I was furiously thrusting my hips. I was sweating and groaning as I jerked off for her.

"Alright, Edward, enough teasing do it like you'd do it at home." She begged.

I stopped the teasing motions, took my hard shaft into the palm of my hand and started jacking off. She started running her fingers up and down through her folds – inserting two of them into her hole every time she passed it.

"My pussy's so wet, Edward, I wish you could feel just how wet it is for you." She moaned.

My cock twitched. I started jerking off faster. She bent over a little more and wiggled a little closer to me so that her hole was an inch or two from my cock. I was jerking furiously and I could tell my explosion was just a few strokes away when she cried out "Stop!"

I froze in mid-stroke. "Don't cum yet, Edward." I stopped and sighed heavily. My cock was throbbing. She sat on the desk facing me with her legs hanging over the edge. I was breathing heavy but the arousal I felt was a strange mixture of sexual excitement, fear, and something new and unfamiliar. The intense feelings I was experiencing weren't only in my cock but all through my body.

I suddenly became aware of a deep yearning for more of her… I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anything.

"Your stroking turned me on so fucking much. I want you to smell my arousal between my legs, Edward."

I got on my knees and reached for my cock but she instructed me not to touch it. She tangled her hand in my hair and shoved her pussy in my face. I took deep breaths of her through my nose. Each one smelled so sweet. Each whiff caused hot burning spasms in my cock.

She stood and turned me so that I was now sitting on the desk. She lifted one leg and then the other – inserting herself slowly onto my throbbing member. She sat there unmoving feeling my cock throb inside of her.

She leaned in and kissed my lips softly at first and then with such force that I tugged her hair and pulled her down closer to me. I arched my hips and moaned as the pleasure flowed through me. Soon she started to caress and stroke at her own breasts as she rotated her ass which caused my cock to harden still.

She was a beautiful and sexy woman. I found myself unable to close my eyes. I sat there watching her facial expressions – her biting on her lips as she tried to keep her moans isolated all while she rode my cock brilliantly.

"Oh Edward, I want to cum so bad." She whimpered.

I spun us around knocking all the various papers and knickknacks onto the floor –thrusting into her hard… so hard that her ass was bouncing on the desk making slapping noises which excited me even more.

A realization dawned on me that I was totally out of control. I'd never been even remotely as wild with anyone else other than Bella. I could see the power she held over me and I got scared. The effect she had on me didn't stop me or slow me down, but rather, the fear made me even more aroused.

I felt my cum rising and burning in white, hot waves of intense pleasure. It pulsated in the very tip of my cock every time her muscles squeezed around me. Bella let loose then her cum oozed and dripped down my cock. It turned me on even more.

"Oh, Edward!" She cried as I placed my hand over her mouth to muffle her screams.

I was bucking furiously and couldn't stop… grunting with each spasm. Soon, my cock was covered with her cum… oozing more and more down my shaft. Every time I grunted, she panted in rhythm along with me.

I kept thrusting bringing her orgasm to whole new heights. Her panting became wordless. All she managed to get out were things like "Ah" and "Oh" and "Yeah" with each of my thrusts. Her voice was a seductive, throaty whisper as her eyes disappeared into the back of her head.

I felt my cum burning to be released. I stilled myself and let my own cock muscles do the work for me. With one twitch, small squirts spilled into her canal. My moaning became muffled from biting down on Bella's tit. I stayed still until I'd sent ever single drop of my seed down her love tunnel.

I lay on top of her for a few minutes. I kissed her tender lips and then helped her from the desk. Her hair was a mess and I knew that I couldn't let her walk out there looking like that. She smiled at me – staggering like a drunken person across my office.

I watched as she tried to piece herself back together.

She started to sob then and walked towards my office door then opened it.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Cullen, I'll try to do better tomorrow." She cried.

I couldn't help but smile at her rather good display of being a very bad mail cart lady. _That she was indeed_. Fuck! That thought had me wanting to bend her over my desk all over again.

Although I felt spent and satisfied from my orgasm, I was beginning to feel pleasurable sensations again in my cock. Damn, I knew working together would be a good thing, but I never knew just how good it would be.

Bella was all mine… in every sense of the word. She'd finally allowed herself to be free from everyone and finally let herself just live. And if this was the sort of life I'd be living with her… I'd never let her leave the house again. I had enough money. James could run the office. Fuck, I just wanted her. Nothing else mattered except her.

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**Alright so that's it. **

**Rec time. There have been a few new stories that I've been reading and just love.**

"**My Heart's Redemption" by My Daughter Bella **

**www (dot) fanfiction(dot)net/s/6794147/1/My_Hearts_Redemption **

"**Beautiful Sorrow" by ToTheDreaming www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6886175/1/Beautiful_Sorrow**

"**Outside the box By" SexylexiCullen **

**www(dot) fanfiction(dot)net/s/6938579/3/**

* * *

**These chapters are taking me a little while and I apologize for that. I know how many of you love this story and I hope that when I produce the chapters they were well worth the wait. Also, remember, if you're on Twitter, I do most of my updates on there so follow my crazy banter parsonsapril**

**For those of you who are not aware… this story had started out as a one shot and by popular demand became a series. I have no clue as to where these characters are going… I just write and the end will be just as much as a surprise to me as it will be to all of you. Thank you all again so much for your support. Remember to review. I always love to know what you're all thinking... April**

**_Last but hardly not least… MP has been nominated for best realistic lemon and Best Jacob at www (dot) avantgardeawards (dot) com voting starts May 22nd –June 4_****_th_**

**_You can check out nominees and nominate your favorite fan fiction stories on my homepage. The links are provided on my site…( tab) my story inspired by twilight_**

**_If you want to see MP make it to round two go and nominate now! lmao_**


	8. Chapter 8 Near to Perfect

**Chapter 8**

**Near to Perfect**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, disturbing and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**There is a D.V. part near the end of this story. It's very small but if you're not comfortable with this part in my story I ask that you skip it once you get there. You'll understand what happened so please don't be afraid to skip it. **

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my ladies on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal. **

**My beta's and good friend's Dee and Mydaughterbella… you guys are awesome.**

_**Note from mydaughterbella: Readers, sorry for this slow update. It's all my fault. A few things got in my way of reading and editing and caused this delay. Please forgive my tardiness. *smiles***_

**My husband, I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my life. **

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

**Edward's Point of View**

Bella and I have worked together for the past four days and it's been quite the sexual journey. I never knew that she was this much of a freak in the sex department… well I guess I did. She got off on that stranger watching us through the window in my apartment. But all the same… she's taken me in the janitorial closet, my office, even the men's washroom.

I was completely spent and loved every single fucking minute of it.

Today after work we'd be heading back to my apartment and I was excited to "officially" give Bella her own key. We'd been living together but this would make our relationship "official." I was happier than I've ever been in my life and it was all due to my brown-eyed beauty.

"Well, it's nice to see you smile." My father's voice brought me out of my reprieve.

I stumbled to straighten myself up in my chair and take my feet off my desk.

"Hi dad, what brings you to the office?" I asked, walking towards him and engulfing him in a hug.

He pulled back slightly – his arm still cupped in-between my shoulder blades while his face held a smug looking smile.

"Well, do I have to have a reason to visit my son?"

"Of course not." I grinned.

I walked around the other side of my desk and pulled out the large leather chair.

"For old time sake?" I smiled as did he.

"I love seeing you in that chair." I stood back smiling and crossed my arms over my chest as my father ran his hands up and down the leather arm rests.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it but from what I hear… you're doing a better job than me." He smiled and then looked out my windows to spot Bella and her mail cart.

"The mail cart lady, Edward. Couldn't you have given her a decent job?" He shook his head as he chuckled lightly.

I grinned alongside him.

"Well, she wouldn't have taken anything else… she's stubborn." I glared at her through the window… childlike.

Once I saw her frustrated face while trying to figure out where a red envelope was to go, I laughed. I'd sent her a thinking of you card and addressed it to my beautiful brown-eyed beauty. I guess I thought I was being all romantic and shit, but I've never had a romantic bone in my body. I should take some pointers from my father.

I opened the door.

"Bella, could you come in here for a minute," I asked as she smirked a little. She thought I wanted her pussy again… how cute – right my father is in my office.

"Couldn't wait five minutes could you?" She grinned running her hand down my chest… totally unaware of my father's presence.

"Um… Bella, you remember my father?" I held her hands together and watched as her face turned red and then just got redder.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, it's so nice to see you again."

"Oh please dear, call me Carlisle." He smiled and shook her hand.

"I came here today to tell you that your mother would like it if you'd come to the house tomorrow for dinner." He eyed me.

"Sure." I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.

I hadn't been to my family home since Christmas and I knew that this invitation was just a way for them to medal in mine and Bella's relationship… maybe not. Huh.

"Oh… bring Bella with you." He smiled as he walked out of my office.

_And there it is – meddlers._

"Edward, do you think I should go? I mean I can stay at the apartment." Bella whispered.

"Yes, I think you should go." I smiled and wanted so badly to kiss her but people were watching.

We spent the rest of the day apart from one another. I had several meetings to attend to but all I ever thought about was my desk and how I wanted her to dominate me over and over again.

I shuddered.

"Mr. Cullen." James cleared his throat at an attempt to gain my attention.

"Yes, um… sorry. Where were we?" I asked clearing out my throat which resulted in a few whispers.

"We were talking about the Stones estate. They want a million twenty for the property. I think we should snag it. It's easily worth four or five mill." James stated.

"Yes, it will be once it's fixed up, but I can't help but look over the costs that it'll take to fix the property. By the time we've fixed it up, it'll cost us around two million which leaves us with a possible gain of one point five… maybe two mill… doesn't seem logical." I sighed.

"But it's high in demand, Edward; the Denali's want this property bad!" James boomed out.

The Denali's were our competition and whenever they knew we wanted something… they wanted it first. Well, with this one they _couldn't _have. There was no comparison. Our company had better sales and we dealt with our customers on a friendly basis… not all business.

"Offer the Stones five hundred thousand and that's all I'm offering," I stated.

"Edward, they're not going to take five hundred for their home… it's been in their family for nine generations," James countered.

"With the way the world economy is plummeting, they'll be lucky to get any better." I eyed him. I was getting a little pissed off that he was going against me.

"Edward, please it really won't be that much to fix up and I think that you're making a big mistake here." James's face got all flushed.

"So you're saying that your cost projections are wrong?" I questioned.

"No… I just… "

"Just nothing… do you think this is how we get a head in this company? The Stone family is broke. If you're as good as I think you are you'll have them thanking you for the offer. Make me proud." I winked at him.

I knew it was harsh. The property alone would make me an easy two million dollars, but this was business and if they wanted to see their home maintained then coming with us was the way to do it and they knew it. Denali would just bulldoze the place down and make the property into another high-end mall. I on the other hand would do minor changes to the property… perhaps make it into a little restaurant, but keep it all in tact none the less.

Bella and I had our routine down now, she'd leave at the end of her shift and I'd wait around for thirty minutes before I'd meet her at my car. She now had a key of course. I'd never let her wait in the dark parking lot by herself.

I was eager to see her after the day I had.

When I reached the car she had a worried expression on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I think people know, Edward."

"Know what?"

"That we're dating!" She puffed out her cheeks.

"So what? It's just office gossip. Next week they'll have something else to talk about." I assured her.

"What'll happen if they all knew we were "a couple?"" she asked using air quotes.

"Nothing, love. I promise. You worry too much. I'm the boss remember?" I tapped my temple.

"Then why all the sneaking around?"

I turned in my seat to face her.

"Bella." I took her chin in my hands so that she was looking at me. "I never told anyone because I thought this was the way you wanted things at work. If I had it my way the whole damn company would know then maybe all the damn men would stop trying to eye fuck you." We both smiled.

"First thing Monday morning, I'll send a memo to everyone that I'm fucking the mail cart lady." I chuckled – winning me a slap and a giggle.

"Oh… thanks for the card." She smiled waving it in the air.

"You figured it out did you?"

"Well, Rose told me." She blushed.

"That Rose. She'll ruin all my surprises… duly noted." I pretended to mark off some imaginary check list.

When we pulled up to the apartment, I was happy as shit that I'd be able to spend the night in my own bed, but I suddenly became a little nervous about what Bella might say or do when I gave her her own key.

Felix greeted us at the door. Of course he was back on the clock and had taken my little moment from me. It wasn't like I could actually give her a key to the elevator so I was intending to give her a key to the downstairs lobby.

When we entered into my apartment, Bella flopped herself down onto my couch with her feet hanging over the edge.

I chuckled lightly at how at home she was here with me and took this opportunity to give her the key.

I sat down next to her and placed her head on my lap. As she stared up at me, I dangled the key just above her head.

"What's this?"

"I just thought that if you were living with me… I'd like to make it official." I smiled nervously.

She jumped up and quickly snatched the dangling key from my hand like she was starving for food.

"I take it you're happy?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She eyed me happily.

"I just want you to know that this key doesn't come with restraints or expectations. As long as you're living with me, I want you to help yourself to everything. What's mine is yours." I explained.

"Edward, is this your way of making some sort of commitment to me?" She asked… I cringed.

"Commitment is a very strong word, Bella. I guess I just wanted you to know that whatever this is that we're doing… I too would like to see where it's going." I used her own words to try and make this an easy transition for her.

"Well, commitment or not… I love it. It's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me and this place is the most at home I've felt my whole life." She smiled and it made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I'm so pussy whipped.

After she took the key, I noticed that she was grabbing her side. I couldn't believe that after everything that we'd been through that I'd forgotten about her ribs.

"Are they still sore?" I asked.

"No, they're not that bad." She gave me a phony ass smile which told me otherwise.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I was so excited to have you working with me that I totally forgot. I'll find a replacement until you're feeling well enough to go back to work."

"No, please don't do that. Really, I've been working with them for a week now and I'm doing just fine."

I could tell that she was in some serious pain. I knew she was just trying to cover it up with that beautiful smile, but this time it wasn't working. I'd been so distracted lately that I hadn't noticed the pain on her face – until now.

"Really, it's alright love. You'll get vacation pay until you're well enough to come back."

"Edward, I've only been working for a week. I won't be able to get vacation pay." She eyed me.

"Yes, you will." I assured her with a smile.

As much as I wanted her at work with me, I wanted her to be well and healthy much, much more.

I was nervous to take Bella to my parent's home. It would be the first time I'd ever brought a woman home and I wasn't sure what my father had told my mother – if he'd told my mother that Bella was a married woman or not. I knew that if my mother had known she wouldn't approve and I wasn't sure how she would make Bella feel about it. I needed my mother to understand what was going on before we went over for dinner.

I excused myself and made that phone call.

"Edward, my dear boy!"

"Hi mom."

"Don't tell me you're calling to cancel. I won't take "no" for an answer. It's been far too long since I've seen your beautiful face." She was putting the pity trip on real thick.

"No mom, I was just wondering if Dad told you I would be having a lady friend accompany me to dinner tomorrow?"

"Um, yes, he did indeed… Bella right?"

"Yes."

"Well, she must be important for you to bring her home to meet your mother and father."

_She was medaling again._

"Mom, you know very well that Dad knows about Bella, and I know that it was you who wanted me to bring Bella to dinner."

"It's just not like you, Edward, to keep a young lady that you're so smitten with from your mother. Is there something wrong with her?" I couldn't believe she would jump to that conclusion.

"No, Mother, there's nothing wrong with Bella." I huffed.

"Well then, tell me why haven't you brought her by then?"

"Well, our relationship is very new and it's complicated. I just didn't want you to meet her until I knew for sure that we were going somewhere."

"Your father says she's lovely." I could hear the smile in her voice as she tried to change the depressing path this conversation was about to take.

"Yes, Mom, she's lovely and I'm sure you'll _love_ her as much as I do."

"You love her? Oh, Edward, that's wonderful."

_Oh fuck that came out of nowhere!_

"What I meant to say was that I'm sure that you will _like _her as much as I do." I tried desperately to take it back but it was too late.

"You said "love," Edward. Those words have never escaped your lips." She giggled.

"Mom… mom… MOM!" I shouted over her ramblings to try and gain her attention.

"Oh, I understand dear. You haven't told her how you feel yet? Your secret is safe with me, but darling, don't wait too long to tell her. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

I looked at the phone as it went dead. She hadn't even given me a chance to say goodbye let alone explain how things were.

O_h, fuck, I hope she doesn't tell Bella that I said I loved he… it would ruin everything._

I'd tried to call back several times to cancel – make some sort of an excuse as to why we couldn't attend dinner, but my mother was smarter than that. She never answered the damn phone.

The next day my stomach was a knotted mess and for the first time since Jake had put Bella in the hospital, I really watched as she moved around.

How had I missed the side holding… the clutching onto the furniture… the curled up lips as she fought back the urge to cry out?

"Bella, I think we should go to a doctor." I stated – internally grateful that I had a legitimate excuse as to why we couldn't attend dinner.

"Edward, you're just trying to get out of seeing your parent's. If you don't want me to meet them I understand but one way or another you're going to dinner… with or without me… so _you_ choose." She gave me a stern look of warning.

I swear all the women in my life were out to get me.

"Can you even walk?" I shouted. I was really more frustrated about my situation then hers.

"Yes!" She yelled back.

I palmed my face and apologized.

Bella left me in the living room as she went to get ready. I felt like a total asshole. I hadn't even taken her ribs into consideration when I was fucking her every which way to Sunday.

I was lost in my thoughts when she returned to me in a baby blue sundress that came down just at her knees and a pair of flip flops.

"Do you think this is okay or should I change into something more "dinner?"" She asked squinting.

I chuckled slightly as she cringed at the thought of having to wear something "over the top" as she would have put it.

"No, love, you look wonderful and it's just going to be a simple barbeque. You're dressed perfectly." I smiled and kissed the top of her forehead as she appraised my attire.

"You're wearing dress pants and a tie. How's what I'm wearing appropriate? I'm going to change."

"No. I'll change. I'm over dressed." I smiled. I really didn't want her to spend another hour getting ready.

I changed into some long green cargo shorts and a plain black t-shirt. When I came back out she was smiling.

"What?"

"It's just nice to see you so laid back." She smiled then took my hand in hers.

The drive to my parent's house wasn't a long one but I could feel the anticipation from Bella. It could feel the negative electricity coursing through the damn seats.

"It's alright love. Everything'll be fine. Don't worry" I smiled as she fidgeted with the hem of her dress.

As the house came into view I watched as her eyes bulged and a large smile grew on her face.

"This is where you grew up?"

"Yes… this is home." I smiled.

"More like the fucking white house!" She screeched and again looked down at her dress.

"Really, Bella, it's just a house… with furniture, walls, paint, and a foundation. It's nothing any different than any other house."

"Pft! I beg to differ." She sarcastically shot out.

I'd always been a bit of an outcast with my friends because I'd always had just a little bit more than they had. I hated the feeling and I was never a "spoiled rich kid." I had nice things but ultimately they weren't mine… they were my parent's.

Everything I had I'd worked for and nothing was handed to me. I know to some it seems a ridicules thing to say considering I've taken over my father's company, but I started out lower then mail cart lady and what I had – I'd put in my fare share of blood, sweet, and tears.

**Bella's Point Of View**

I couldn't believe the fucking size of this place. My whole bar would easily fit in the fuck'n driveway. What the hell was I thinking coming to dinner? I should've stayed the hell at the apartment.

I had nervously stumbled out of the car in my awed state of mind and embarrassed myself further when I spotted Carlisle and Edward's beautiful mother. She was wearing a light purple pencil skirt with a matching three button down blazer as she stood beside one of the white marble pillars. She looked like Jackie-O in front of the fucking White House.

Edward smiled, waved, and took my hand into his as he escorted me towards his beautiful parent's and their stunning home.

"Dad… Mom… this is Bella. Bella, this is my mother, Esme Cullen."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." I introduced myself shaking her hand.

I waited for her to say something like… oh, please dear call me Esme, but she didn't. All she did was look over my attire. Edward coughed a little grabbing his mother's attention.

"Oh, yes, right this way." She waved us in.

This wasn't right. She didn't like me. I could tell. I just wanted to fucking find a hole and crawl the hell into it.

Dinner didn't go over as smoothly as I'd hoped it would. Mrs. Cullen kept asking me what I'd taken in school and when I told her that I'd taken business like her son, I'd thought she would've loved the idea that we had something in common but all she heard was Community College. I'd always felt like trailer trash, but here in the presence of Edward's mother, I felt like a prostitute who was trying to take her baby's virtue or some shit like that.

I was starting to feel very uncomfortable so I excused myself. As I was wondering around the halls trying my damnedest to find the washroom, I overheard Edward and his mother talking in the hallway.

"Edward, she's so not in our league."

"Oh. My. God, Mom. I can't believe you just said that. Bella is a kind and caring woman and this… is exactly why I didn't want to bring her here." He grunted.

"No, Edward. You didn't want to bring her here because you were embarrassed of her yourself." She shot back.

I had to take a seat on the stairs.

"You're right I was embarrassed to bring her here." I heard him sigh out.

That was all I could take. I stood and headed up the stairs. I'd never felt more stupid than I did in that moment. I'd never be someone that Edward deserved and I'd known it from the very beginning. Why the hell had I put myself through all of this? Why had I made myself believe that I deserved him? It was quite clear that I would never belong with Edward.

I was beer and he was champagne.

I pulled out my cell phone and called the only person in this world that I'd ever relied on.

"Hello."

"Billy, its Bella. Could you do me a favor?" I sobbed into the phone.

"What's going on Bells?" He sounded panicked.

"I'd like it if you'd come and pick me up. Could you do that?" I asked.

"Yes, of course. Give me the directions and I'll be right there."

My plan was to wait in the bathroom until I'd seen Billy's beat up orange truck pull into the driveway but a loud knock at the door startled me.

"Bella, its Edward. Is everything alright?"

I took in a deep breath, wiped away my teared filled eyes, and opened the door.

"What's wrong?" He reached for me and I walked passed him then ran down the stairs.

I was greeted by his mother and father at the bottom eyeing us both. I stopped just before Edward's mother.

"I may be a lot of things, Mrs. Cullen, but I would never treat a person the way you've treated me. Money doesn't make you classy." I huffed out. "Thank you. Mr. Cullen, for inviting me to your home. Unlike your wife… I have class."

"This is hardly the way a lady should carry on," Mrs. Cullen countered.

"You, ma'am, I'd hardly call a lady. I'd rather be trailer trash then be a rich, snooty bitch like you!" I hollered. I turned to see Edward's stunned face then headed right out the front door.

When I did I was glad to see that Billy was there waiting for me. I sprinted to the truck and when I got in the car, Edward was at the doorway of his home with a shocked expression on his face.

As we started to pull down the driveway I heard Edward calling my name. When I looked out the side mirror Edward was chasing after the truck.

"Do you want me to pull over so you can talk to him?" Billy asked.

"No, please just keep driving." I whispered.

I watched Edward… the only man that I believed I would ever truly love disappear behind me. When we were on the road headed for Forks it was as if none of what I'd been through with Edward had happened.

I wasn't sure where to go. Billy offered to let me stay with him until I'd figured out things on my own, but I knew that it'd only be a matter of time before Jake showed up. I made Billy promise me that he wouldn't tell Jake that I'd left Edward. It was all such a fucked up situation. Here I was turning to my father-in-law for help. I'd left his son for another man for crying out loud.

"Bella, I don't know what's going on with you and Jake and I can't help if you don't tell me." Billy pressed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Billy." I sighed looking out the window.

"Oh, come on. Tell me. Maybe I can help."

"Billy, I'd really rather not get into this right now."

"Alright, Bells, but remember… no matter what, I'll always be here for you. Jake or no Jake." I smiled then.

"Thanks for that, Billy."

"Anytime."

Billy dropped me off at my father's and of course my father was waiting in the doorway for me with a beer in his hands. I never said a word to him as I passed him and entered the house. I went right up to my bedroom and flopped down on the bed.

I'd made a mess out of everything.

I cried until the sun set and then cried some more. My heart was breaking and I knew without a doubt that I loved Edward. I sighed as I lay on my back starring at my ceiling.

All I kept thinking about was even if Edward's mother didn't like me… even if I would've never fit into his lifestyle… I would've stayed with him. It was his words that cut like a knife… deep and shallow.

"You're right I was embarrassed to bring her here."

Edward was embarrassed of me. I'd suspected it long ago but I honestly thought that I could change – become someone who was more worthy of him. I wasn't even worthy of my deadbeat husband.

I chuckled lightly at the thought of how sad that sounded. If someone were to have been watching me they would've admitted me into a mental institution.

I'd lost everything. I'd given up Jake for Edward and for what? To come home to my asshole of a father who'd just point at me later and tell me "I told you so?"

My life was one big comic story. Maybe I did need that mental institution after all.

My phone had rang several times and I didn't have to read the caller ID to know who it was. I couldn't deal with him or his family right now. I was too damn hurt about it all. All I wanted… well, at least hoped for was that Mrs. Cullen would've been like Carlisle and given her son and I a chance, but who could blame her? I was the Anti-Christ coming to steal away her precious baby boy. Hell, if I saw me coming to my house with my son I'd strangle the bitch with my bare hands too. At least she loved her son enough to care… right? I don't know!

The night was long with endless amounts of phone calls. My father yelled at me around three am and told me to shut my god damn phone off or he'd break it. I felt like I was back in high school being here and God help me… I wanted to go in there and smother my father while he slept.

When the first rays of sun finally broke through the window I got up and headed downstairs. I bypassed the kitchen and headed right out the front door.

Billy lived on the reservation and I desperately needed to talk to him. If I told him everything that was going on he'd have answers for me. At least he'd be the only one that would be honest with me.

I called Billy without even realizing that it was only six in the morning. He wasn't shocked that I'd called him this early but he was shocked that I'd called this soon. He met me down at a local dinner for coffee. I wasn't sure how to tell him about his son or what had happened with Edward. I wasn't even sure if it was fair to dump all of this onto his lap and break his heart. In some ways I knew that I was being selfish. After everything Billy had done for me in my life, I knew he'd see this as failing Jake and me – he'd failed as a father. At least I thought that's how he'd see things.

Billy sat quietly across from me in our booth. Both of us was unsure as to how to start the conversation. He looked worried. I think I traced the wrinkles in his forehead five or six times before he spoke.

"Bells your eyes are so red. You look so tired."

"Jezz, thanks for telling me I look like shit." I snorted.

"You're always beautiful, Bells. You know that. You're just look played out."

"You're right Billy. I'm very "played out." I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore." I wallowed in my own self pity.

"You're a smart girl, Bells, you'll figure it out. You always do." He smiled and placed his hand tenderly on mine.

Billy always gave me that comfort my father should've given me. The kind where you felt safe in their arms… protected… loved. The kind that no matter what you did in your life he'd always support your decisions… no matter what… you were still his daughter.

I sighed knowing damn well that this was going to hurt Billy more than it had hurt me.

"Billy, do you know why I left Jake? I mean did Jake ever tell you why I left him?" I shyly looked down at my coffee and then out the window as I took a small sip.

"Jake told me about Edward." He cleared his throat.

I smiled slightly. "I figured he would keep out the rest."

When I finally looked up at Billy, his eyes were squinted up in confusion.

"Billy, Jake and I have had many problems and it's rather hard to explain it all so I'm going to start from the beginning."

He just sat there staring at me.

"I loved Jake with my whole heart. I married my best friend. But somewhere in the middle my best friend didn't love me as much as I thought he did and perhaps we were both just too young to understand what love really was. Maybe we rushed into things… I don't know." I rambled.

"After a few months of marriage I caught Jake cheating on me. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with in my life. I felt lost… broken… like I'd failed at my marriage. I felt like it was my fault. I spent the next six months in the solitude of my mind. I put on fake smiles for our family and pretended that everything was wonderful. Inside, I was screaming out. I wanted to die or worse… kill him." I paused as I looked at his stunned face.

"I'd thrown Jake out at first but he came back telling me that he'd made a mistake and that he loved me and not her. He wanted to work things out with me but it was too hard. I vowed for better or worse so we talked and I did my best to come around and learn how to trust him again."

"Bella, you should've come to me… told someone… anyone. No one should have to go through this alone."

"Billy, it took me a year to move on from that dreadful day – the day that I no longer looked at my life as all lollypops and bubble gum. I'll never forget her name… Rebecca." I seethed through my teeth.

"But that wasn't the last of the women. Jake had a new one every month… then week… hell then days. When I finally had enough of his women and went to leave him, he beat me straight. From that day, the beatings never stopped and I don't know if it was fear or stupidity, but I never felt like I could leave."

"He did what?"

"He beat me. When I became distant and isolated in my shell of a body he then turned to drugs. At first it was marijuana every now and then, then he turned to acid, perc's and now he's into cocaine – which is costly and has resulted in a large financial burden."

Billy's face was red.

"I came last in everything in his life. His drugs, women, and cars all came before me. I learned to deal with the way things were and believed that I was trapped – there was no way out for me… until Edward."

A tear fell from Billy's eyes and I placed my hand on his.

"Billy, what your son has become is not a result of how you raised him. I know that you're a good man and your son is who he is because he made his own choices in life." I smiled.

"Now, Edward… what happened there?" He asked.

"Edward's family is very rich and I'm trash." I chuckled.

"That's bullshit Bella and you damn well know it."

"Is it Billy? Edward and I are far from perfect. Hell, we're not even a good match. Our relationship is like fire and ice." I sighed.

"Listen to me dear and listen good." His stern voice shot out. "Nothing in this world is perfect – not a god damn thing is. All we can hope for is near to perfect because even prince charming has flaws. You're the one who put Edward on the pedestal… not him… and therefore when something bad happens his pedestal comes crashing down. It's not his fault that you see him as perfect and without flaws." He eyed me.

"Near to perfect… is what I had with Jake, Billy? Look how that turned out." I huffed.

"No what you had with Jake was a train wreak and my son will have to deal with the cost of his actions. He will never find another woman like you as long as he lives and here my dear is where he will suffer for the rest of his life."

"He lost the best thing in his life… something like that right." I laughed.

"Yes that's exactly right. I don't know what you plan to do, Bells, but whatever you decide, please make sure that it's what you want. If you don't want either, I could set you up with one of the boys on the reservation." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

The conversation went better than I thought it would go and I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Billy confronted Jake with everything.

It was strange how this man believed everything I told him and never once questioned anything when my own father had practically disowned me.

Once Billy dropped me off back at my father's Jake was sitting on the front step with his head in his hands. Billy offered to tell Jake to fuck off but I told him it was okay. I figured my father called… of course he did.

Jake jumped up the moment he heard the truck door slam. I waved goodbye to Billy and walked passed Jake into the house. He followed behind me and I never stopped him. I don't know why I never stopped him but I didn't.

I was standing at the kitchen sink –pouring myself a glass of water when Jake came behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Izzy, I'm so happy you're home." He whispered into my hair.

I stood there frozen, unable to move, unable to answer him because even though I hated him… I still held a piece of him in my heart and I so badly needed strong warm arms around me. I needed to feel wanted.

He spun me around slowly so I was facing him and when he did we just stared into each other's eyes. His eyes were different – a soft shade of brown, warm and inviting… the way that I'd always longed for them to stare at me. His face lingered lower towards mine. I watched as his head tilted off to one side. His eyes were closed, lips apart, and before I knew it, my lips were melting into his.

I should have pushed him off – told him to go to hell, but I couldn't. I kissed Jake back with just as much force as he put into the kiss. I tangled my hands in his hair, lifted my legs over his hips and allowed him to carry me to my bedroom.

Our clothes had become a knotted mess on the floor. Our bodies were tangled around one another and even when I felt his cock enter me I didn't stop it.

When everything was said and done, Jake held me in his arms. I felt like a whore. I felt like I'd cheated on Edward. When I started to cry, Jake leaned up to look at me. His smile had left.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked.

I laughed.

"Jake that's all you ever do is hurt me. What we just did was wrong. It just felt so wrong. I don't love you anymore. I'm just upset with Edward. I shouldn't have allowed this to happen." I sniffled.

"But you wanted it Izzy… I know you did."

"Yes, Jake, I wanted it. I wanted to forget about everything for just a few minutes, but in those minutes I lost myself. I love Edward and I can never take this back. What we just did consider this your goodbye present." I sighed and flung his arms off of me then started to get dressed.

"You're a fucking tease!" He screamed.

"Tease, did I not just fuck you?" I rolled my eyes at him as I pulled my shirt down over my head.

"Izzy, I want you to come home. I need you to come home. The judge closed down Izzy's for six months, and we have a shit load of fines that I can't pay because I can't work. I don't know what to do. You always figure something out."

"Is that your argument for me to come home? Oh, fuck, man. You're far more fucked up then I thought you were." I laughed.

"You're going to go back to him… aren't you?" He screamed.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Jake." I answered him honestly.

"Like fuck I'm going to let that happen!" He hollered.

Jake had me by the neck before I had a chance to even react to what was happening. He smashed my head into the mirrored door on my closet as he continued to squeeze.

"If I can't fucking have you… no one can!" He screamed as his grip got tighter.

I gasped for air and violently kicked. I scratched at his hand until I'd taken my last breath.

It wasn't long after I thought I was going to die that I saw someone rip Jake from me and throw him onto the bed. My lifeless body fell to the ground as I desperately tried to allow the air to refill my lungs. Everything was so blurry that I couldn't make out who was punching Jake.

"Edward." I choked out.

"Shh, baby, it's alright now." I heard a man's voice before my eyes closed.

When I woke I was in the hospital and Edward was at my bedside.

"Edward, thank you." I rasped out.

"It wasn't me, Bella. It was your father."

I thought I'd heard him wrong.

"My father?"

"Yes, he called Jake to tell him that you were home. He left to give you two some time to talk and when he got home he heard some yelling going on and walked in on Jake chocking you. He beat Jake to a pulp and had him arrested. He's in jail right now."

I couldn't say anything. A part of me was happy that my father finally witnessed what I'd been telling him, but the other part of me was angry that he had to see it to believe it.

"Your dad called me and told me what happened. He said you were asking for me."

"I was."

"Bella, I'm sorry about my mother. I don't care what she thinks." He started.

"Edward, it wasn't that your mother didn't like me… it was that you were embarrassed to bring me home to her." I whispered.

"What? That's not true!" He sternly shot out.

"I heard you Edward. You don't have to lie. It's alright. I completely understand. I'd be embarrassed to bring me home too. I'll go my way and you can go yours. I appreciate everything you've done for me." I placed a brave ass smile on my face even though the words were killing me.

"Bella, I told my mother that I was embarrassed to bring you home too… not of you… of my parents. I was embarrassed for you to meet my mother." He looked at me with a large smile on his face.

I felt completely stupid. I'd slept with Edward because I wanted one night of being accepted and I slept with Jake because I wanted to forget about Edward. I wanted to take everything back. I wanted to have met Edward first and married him. I wanted to go back to that dinner and listen to more of that conversation. I wanted to ask him what he meant but I couldn't. The damage had already been done.

"Edward, I have to tell you something." I started.

"Shh, I have to tell you something too." He placed his finger over my lips.

"Bella, I've never known what a relationship is. I've never cared about a woman the way I care about you. I've never went a day thinking about nothing but one single woman. My life was empty before I met you… miserable and lacked meaning. I've been so scared to tell you how I truly feel because it's all so new and I'm afraid that you'll break my heart."

I bowed my head in shame.

"Edward, please I'm really sorry for…"

"Stop. I need to get this out before it's too late."

I nodded.

"My mother got something out of me that I wasn't even sure existed and before she acted so badly she told me to tell you how I felt before it was too late. Bella I can't let it be too late." He whispered.

"You can tell me anything." I whispered picking his chin up in my hand.

"Bella, I love you."

I gasped and stupidly dropped his chin then placed my hands over my mouth. I'd wanted him to tell me that he loved me. I'd dreamed about it, but I never thought the words would ever come out of his mouth.

"Well?" He eyed me with a tortured expression on his face.

"Well what?" I asked.

"What was it you had to tell me?"

I stared at him blankly and made the decision that I wasn't going to tell him about Jake. This would be my secret to bear and I just wanted to move on from this nightmare and finally be where I wanted to be all along.

What Edward didn't know wouldn't hurt him… right?

"Just that… I love you too, Edward." I eyed him and watched as the large smile reached his face.

He jumped up from his stool and wrapped me into his arms and kissed me all over until we heard a cough at the door.

I was smiling until Edward pulled back and I saw my father standing in the doorway of my hospital room.

"Glad to see that you're alright." He cleared his throat. "Jake is in custody for now but if you don't come down to the station and make a statement… he'll be out come morning." His cop side came out.

"Alright, Dad, I'll be down as soon as the doctor lets me leave." I nodded and with that he looked to Edward, smiled, and left the room.

I knew to most it would seem like a very harsh reaction after what my father just witnessed and to most they would expect him to at least apologize for not believing me, but to me. That smile to Edward was worth more than words. It let me know that he now understood why I loved Edward and that he approved of him.

I loved Edward. I really did, and wouldn't you know it… he loved my ass too – all the trailer park bits of it.

When the doctor gave me the go-a-head, Edward and I headed for the police station. I wasn't at all shocked to find Billy there. Regardless of what he thought of his son in that moment, he was still his son, and he would be there for him no matter what. I wouldn't have expected any less of him.

I could only imagine how hard this must have been on Billy. As his eyes met with mine, he looked ashamed of himself. His only son had beaten his best friend's daughter.

I gave Billy a big hug and told him that everything was going to be fine. Charlie would come around. He nodded and told me to get in there and give my statement.

Edward followed me of course. He wasn't leaving me alone again. Once we were in the room they asked me when the hitting had started and how long it had been going on. They wanted to know what had happened to my ribs and what had happened the night before. I told them the truth with the exception of Jake and me sleeping together, of course.

I watched as my father's face turned from anger to hurt to betrayal and lastly to disgust within the hour it took me to tell my tale. He just kept repeating himself over and over again.

"I didn't know… I didn't know."

I guess Edward finally had enough of my father's ranting.

"You didn't know? With all due respect, Chief Swan, I came here and made a report. Bella told you what was going on and you didn't believe either one of us. Oh you knew alright. You just didn't want to believe that your golden boy over there had done wrong by you. Who wanted to be his wife more… you or Bella?" He chuckled out the last part.

As my father lunged for Edward, Officer Stevens got between them.

"You watch your fucking mouth little boy. You may be a rich motherfucker, but I own this fucking house!"

"See Bella, it's not just my family who's judgmental. My mother thinks you're trailer trash and your father thinks I'm a rich man who likes to fuck my mother. We need to get our asses on Jerry Springer ASAP." He chuckled.

I couldn't help but chuckle just a little bit.

When we walked out into the main lobby, Billy was there with a worried expression on his face.

"Everything alright Bells?"

"Everything is just fine." I smiled pulling Edward into my side.

"I see you figured out that problem of yours." He smiled.

I looked up to Edward's confused face. "Yep, it's near to perfect."

Billy smiled back at me. "Glad to hear it."

Despite everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, I was happy. Edward had told me he loved me and everyone knew about Jake. I no longer had to hide and I could finally be with Edward without all this drama.

The only thing now was… could I keep this secret from Edward? I didn't know, but I knew that if I wanted us to work I couldn't tell him.

I wanted it to all be in the past… starting over fresh. And that's what I intended to do.

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**Alright so that's it. **

**Rec time**

**Prom night Trouble by Deonne **

**www (dot) fanfiction (dot) ****net/s/6574775/1/**** Prom_night_Trouble**

**Wine & Dine By TWILIFE2011 **

**www**** (dot) fanfiction(dot)net/s/6916232/1/Wine_Dine**

**Outside in by pixie-belle88**

**www(dot)**** fanfiction(dot)net/s/6859473/1/Outside_In**

* * *

**MP has been nominated for best realistic lemon and Best Jacob at **

**www (dot) avantgardeawards (dot) com **

**voting starts May 22nd –June 4th**

***Don't forget to vote all your favorite fanfiction writers. I have so many fellow friends and fav authors that are also in this award. Good luck to you all!***

**Until next time FF, remember to review ;) they're much appreciated.**


	9. Chapter 9 Mind games

**Chapter 9**

**Mind games**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, disturbing and repulsive behavior. As well as a small lemon. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**Sorry for the delay on the chapters people. I'm trying my hardest to get through them, but with life things tend to get in the way. **

**I don't want to rush them as I fear that I will make a mess out of them. **

**I want to first and far most thank you all for your patience with me… your continued support… reviews and votes as well as there are more people adding MP as their favorite story every day. **

**It blows my mind continuously on how much you all seem to love my messed up tail. The only thing I can do is say thank you over and over again… so thank you.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my ladies on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal. **

**My beta's and good friend's Dee and Mydaughterbella… you guys are awesome.**

**My husband, I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my life.**

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

A few days had passed before I started to overly think about what had happened between Jake and me. That was one of my damn problems –I over analyze everything. What I did with Jake wasn't right and I damn well knew it. I didn't care about Jake's damn feelings of course. He never thought of mine all those times he fucked around on me, beat me, or shoved that shit up his fucking nose… so why the hell should I?

Had Jake's hideous ways washed over me and sunk deep beneath my own skin? They had to because there had to be a reason why I'd done what I did to Edward. There just had to be… oh right… It's me. I'm so fucked up that I constantly fuck up everything that's right and good in my fucking miserable life and my damn overbearing conscious won't let me forget about it or pretend like it never fucking happened. Oh, no… she's right there shaking her god damn finger at me with her brows furrowed and her eyes piercing into the depths of my soul. I'm going to hell and I so deserve to be there.

It wasn't long before a few days had turned into a few weeks of me shutting down and not talking to Edward. He didn't understand what was going on with me and of course he thought it was him.

_Did I mention how good and pure this beautiful fucking man is_?

I didn't have the heart to break his nor did I want to but I knew that I couldn't continue with this relationship –hiding this shit from him. Would he run? He'd be pissed. That I was sure of, but would he toss me out? Leave me? I certainly deserved it but I couldn't bear it.

Edward had become so much to me in the short amount of time that I'd known him… more than I ever thought possible. My mind was despondently fucked up and I wasn't even sure I understood why I did what I did. How the hell could I explain it to him?

For the most part, I knew that I wanted to feel the warmth of a man's arms – the need and desire from a man at a time where I felt the most unwanted. The words that Edward spoke at his parents' home had shattered me more than I ever thought possible. More than my own father –never caring if I was home at a decent hour or if I was safe or if I'd eaten… more than Jake cheating… his dope, and yes more than his damn beatings.

His beatings I came accustomed to. My lifestyle with him I'd come to know and as sick as it seems it all became a part of me… a part of my world. Edward had changed all of that –In my stupid and childish misunderstanding I ran into the arms of the one man I loathed more than my own father –my unruly husband, Jake.

How could I have been so damn stupid? How could I take it all back? How could I make things right? And how the hell was I going to be able to explain this all to Edward?

Yep, I needed to be admitted into some damn nut house –placed into some white straight jacket and tossed into a padded room where my meals are all feed to me… where I could never hurt him again. That's what I deserved… I knew it.

Edward came home from work to find me perched on his leather couch holding my knees to my chest and staring off into some unknown world. I hadn't even heard him come in.

"Bella… Bella," he whispered taking my chin into the tips of his fingers and turning me.

I smiled shyly at him, but even I knew it was a sad, sad display of a smile.

_God damn Bella surly you can do better than that. _I scolded myself.

"Bella, will you please tell me what's wrong? You've been like this for days now. I'm starting to worry about you. Please, love, talk to me."

His god damn green eyes were twinkling as they filled slightly with his worrisome tears. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my life. How could I look him in the face and tell him that I'd slept with Jake after I ran out on him? How could I do that?

I dropped my hand from his face and looked shamefully at the ground while I heard him grunt in anger… frustration… I don't know, but whatever the noise was it caught my attention.

_God he's sexy even when he's mad._

"That's it… I don't know what the hell to do!" He yelled out forcing me to jump in my spot and cover my ears –some stupid reaction I gained from the years of being yelled at by Jacob Black.

"Bella, please… talk to me? It's been two weeks. I can't take the silence anymore!"

I shivered as his harsh voice got louder.

"Love, please. Tell me how to fix this. Tell me what to do?" He begged –his voice coming down to a whisper as he fell to his knees before me placing his head in my lap.

_Oh if he only knew…_

"Edward, it's not you. You've done nothing wrong to me. It's what I've done." I whispered and just like that it was lingering in the air.

He looked up at me his eyes creasing in concern –emerald green in agony. His lips turning into a straight hard line as he went into deep thought.

_Yes, Edward, the woman you love is nothing more than the common whore that I warned you about on several occasions. You need to toss me out with your trash. Do it now, Edward, before it's too late… before I hurt you any further._

"What have you done, Bella?" He eyes me.

Such an easy question to ask but as it lingers it becomes such a hard and terrifying question to answer… like a frustrating math problem that you will never figure out, but come hell or high water your're determined to understand it.

I began to vibrate as the unknown engulfed me.

"Edward, I'm no good for you… no good for anyone. Listen to me when I tell you that you need to let me go."

I eyed him as he continued to stare at me in uncertainty. I saw the frustration, confusion and fear imminent on his face. He was aware that whatever it is that I was about to say wasn't good. I sighed slightly as he sits there immobile in his own wonder.

"Edward, all I ever do is hurt you. I don't want to but I'm afraid that this is all I will ever do to you. I love you so much and I don't want to hurt you but I keep doing it. I'm like the plague." I sighed watching as a small smile washed over his lips.

_Oh Edward that smile is beautiful, but I'm about to crack it like a common thief in the night and that valuable million dollar smile will never be again. Tuck it away in your safe and never let me near it. _

I watched intently as his smile never left his face. He slowly took a seat beside me, taking my hand into his. For a moment, I just sat there staring at our intertwined fingers and wondered what the hell this man sees in me. Surly he can do much better than the likes of me.

"Bella, I've done so many horrible things in my past. I'm far from a descent and kind man. It humors me that _you_ think this way of me yet it's terrifying at the same time. I can't for the life of me begin to understand why you love me, but I'm grateful to have that love."

"Edward I..."

He placed his hand in the air successfully stopping me from exposing the truth… such a frustrating action.

"I've never taken advantage of a woman. All of them knew the deal, but I still used them for my needs and never cared about their feelings. I know now that it was a shameful display of being a man and I can't take my actions back. Their sad faces haunt me in my dreams. They were all so sad when I tossed them away."

_Yes, Edward, you need to do the same with me. I'm the garbage that should have been tossed to the side from day one. _

His eyes close as he reminisced about all his one-night stands. How could he possibly think that he was a horrible man for having sex with these women? They knew what they were getting themselves into. He never lied to them. God, a one night stand with Edward probably made their entire lives. I know I'll never forget the first night on my bar.

"You were honest with them all Edward. They knew what they were getting themselves into. Don't feel bad for them." I whispered as he looked up at me.

"Don't you see what a beautiful, intelligent woman you are? How much I need and want you? Don't you see how much I love you?"

His eyes are so full of longing –searching for understanding that I just couldn't give him. No one had ever loved me the way Edward does… no one. It's scary as hell and ironically desired. I couldn't understand for the life of me how we could've both fallen in love with one another in such a short amount of time... but that's the truth.

"Edward. When I left you… when I went home…"

"I know… I hurt you."

"Please let me get this out before I no longer have the strength." He nodded.

"I was so lost… felt so unwanted… so undesired. I was fucked up and I believed in my heart that you and I were over. I should've waited. I should've talked to you but instead I acted on pure emotions and I did something that I can never take back." I paused as he eyed me in concern.

I turned my face from him… unable to look at him in my own shame.

"I slept with Jake." I whispered out while my eyes closed.

I sat there waiting for the silence to disperse but it continued to linger in the air… minutes, hours? I don't know. To me it felt like days holding my breath.

"I see," was the only words that I heard come out of his mouth.

This was it. My worst fear was happening and I had no right to stop him from tossing me aside.

"Do you want to be with Jake?" His words stinging like a thousand bees.

I turned slowly to look him in the eye. His face was sorrowful, lost and broken. I'd forced this anguish on his beautiful face.

"No."

Before I could say anymore he stood up and left me alone in his living room. My stomach was doing back flips and my heart was sinking further into my chest. I didn't dare bother him or ask him what he was thinking in fear that he'd breakdown and finally do what I'd been asking him to do all along –throw me out. The sitting and waiting for him to return was unbearable. I needed to know what he was thinking. It felt like torture sitting there not knowing where his thoughts lied.

I have no damn idea how fucking long I sat here. The sun had settled behind the clouds after a beautiful display of red's and orange finally settled in for the night. I sat still on the couch in complete darkness just waiting for him to return to me. I knew that most women would up and leave –not wait on him to return, but I owed him some sort of explanation and whatever he decided to do with it was his choice. I was at his command.

It was nearly ten o'clock when I finally heard some shuffling coming from behind me. I didn't dare look up to meet his gaze. I knew that it would be too much for me to bear.

"Bella, I've rented a suite for you to stay in. I'll show you where it is," he whispered into the dark shadows.

My heart had broken but in those few words it shattered and turned to stone. I knew that I deserved to be tossed aside and now he had finally wised up to the reality of who I am. I couldn't fault him on it but it still hurt.

"You don't have to do that Edward. I'll go home to my father," I whispered back at him. The words caught in my throat as they escaped my lips.

_Get it together, Bella! What the fuck happened to that hard ass bitch? We need her to get through this._

"Listen to me, Bella. I think that we've rushed things just a little bit and I'd like to continue to see you but I think that we should take things a little bit slower," he grumbled.

"I can't move backwards. I don't function that way, Edward. I'm sorry… I'm sorry for hurting you… for doing what Jake has done to me so many damn times. I know far too well what that hurt feels like and still I did it to you." I shook my head back and forth in disbelief.

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe we took things a little too fast. How do we even know that we truly love one another. Don't you think it's a little too soon for love? I mean, come on, Edward, you said yourself you've never loved a woman before. How do you know that you love me? Myself, well, I haven't loved someone in a very long time. Perhaps we just have a fascination with one another." I eyed him –praying to god that he couldn't see through my lies. It'd be easier this way.

His eyes were cold, making me shudder uncontrollably. I looked away gathering my things and decided that if I was going to cut all ties with Edward I needed to make the move immediately. I couldn't bear to stay around and hurt him over and over again. It was far too hard and totally not what I wanted.

When I reached the elevator, I pressed the button a few times… in one hell of a hurry. I couldn't turn around to look at him because if I did I would be that clay in his hands –cold and wet just ready for him to mold me into whatever his heart desired. I wanted to be what he wanted me to be, but it just wasn't in my nature. I could never be the woman he deserved. It would take too many damn years for me to be even five percent of what he needed… time wasted and lost… something he could never get back.

A sudden realization washed over me as the elevator doors opened… this would be the last time I would ever have the chance to say anything to Edward.

Tears started to prickle in the corner of my eyes as I contemplated whether or not I wanted to say them. In that moment I knew that I couldn't leave things this way. I couldn't leave with him not knowing that I _did_ love him. He had to know that someone had loved him. I needed him to know that I loved him.

I took a large breath as I placed my hand on the frame of the elevator stopping it from closing.

"I need you to know, Edward, that I'm grateful for everything you've done for me in the last few weeks. I need you to know that you gave me the most comfort and love that I've felt in a very long time. You helped me escape a dark and twisted place in my life and I _do_ love you. Thank you for teaching me how to love again." I sighed and took a step into the elevator.

I hadn't made it far when I felt his hand grasp my arm and tug me back –allowing the doors to close. My face was buried into his chest –tears steadily streaming down my face as he stroked my back in soothing circles.

"I'm so sorry, Edward, for everything. I truly am. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I'd met you first. I wish I'd fallen in love with you first. I hate myself for what I've done!" I bellowed starting yet another round of tears –soaking his dress shirt.

It dawned on me that he hadn't said a word or addressed my comments –my truth. I'd been doing all the damn talking and crying uncontrollably. What was it about this man that forced me to come completely undone? I never cried until I met him… not once. Now that's all I seem to be doing all the time.

I knew I needed to look at him. I needed to see his face to show me some sort of indication that he understood me… that he might somehow learn to forgive me and my unforgivable actions.

My head slowly started to lift. My eyes stayed closed even though my face was looking at him.

"Look at me, Bella." Edward's soft spoken words came out in a hushed whisper.

Slowly my eyes fluttered until I was staring at the creases of worry on his face. His eyes had softened his brows formed a V shape and his lips were straight –no indication of a smile or an "I understand." Even in his own torment he was a beautiful specimen to behold.

I couldn't stop staring at him.

"You do love me don't you?" He asked –his eyes wondering my face, seeking the truth.

"Yes, Edward. I love you more than I know how… if that makes any sense at all."

His eyes light up in intensity instantly. His smile now a dominant feature on his face –charming and seductive. He was sparkling with happiness. I studied his features, drawing a sharp intake of breath as his eyes never moved from my own.

For a few more minutes, we stared at each other and just simply smiled. I didn't care if I looked as love struck as I felt. I was captivated by him.

Reality hit me though –the realization that I had cheated on my husband with Edward and cheated on Edward with my husband. I was no better than Jake. I closed my eyes taking in the sting of my own thoughts. I was so conflicted but I knew that my marriage had been over for a long damn time. All I had left to do was sign the divorce papers and make it official, but that didn't make a difference. I'd wanted to fuck someone else. It wasn't like Jake fucked me, and in one captivated night, Edward had stole my heart and claimed it as his own. He owned me now and there was no turning back.

I struggled to keep the thoughts of Jake from my head. He was ruining a special moment and the fucker wasn't even in the same city.

"You ok?" He asked bringing me back into his loving embrace.

I looked deep into his eyes and saw the love he had for me.

"Yes, Edward. I'm happier then I've been in a very long time." I smiled.

He took my hand and pressed it to his lips.

Suddenly, he was laughing and pulling me into his arms –crushing his body against mine and whispered into my ear. "I do love you, Bella." With one swift move he placed my hand over his heart and stared at me contently. "You've owned this for a very long time."

I took in a deep breath, resting my head against his chest and listened to his heart beat. It was an enchanting rhythm a strong and lovable heart. Slowly, I squirmed out of his arms as the realization of his words sunk in… _I've rented you a suite._

"Where do you think you're going?" He grunted, grabbing my arms and pulling me back towards him.

Suddenly, I was caught off guard by him grabbing my hair and pulling my head towards his face. His lips lingered in the air like some forbidden fruit –moist and so delicious –taunting me to lick them. He let out a groan as his lips come crashing against my own in such a primal, passionate way.

I was caught off guard by his aggressiveness but quickly recovered and returned the kiss with a raw intensity that I hadn't felt in years. His lips are soft yet hard, sweet yet sensual… earth shattering Edward. His hands tugged at my hair making me moan out in pleasure, and before I knew it we were bouncing off of end tables, walls and other various furniture standing in our way of finding the bedroom.

Pushing me towards the bed, his hands ripped off my tank top and instantly reached for my breasts.

"I need to claim you as my own… remove Jake completely." He growled. His demeanor changing into something primal and territorial… rougher than I had expected.

"What do you mean?" I asked breathless from the kiss and wondering how he could go from sweet to sour in just seconds.

"Shut up! I know you want this as much as I do! You told me once how you liked it rough… now you're gonna get it!" He warned.

My jaw dropped and my heart beat faster. I wasn't sure if he was role playing or what the hell he was trying to do but I was turned on at the thought of him fucking me without caring whether or not I said yes. My fighter instinct kicked in though and I went to slap him. He grabbed my arm and pushed me back onto the bed.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. "What are you doing?"

He grabbed my legs and pulled off my pants as I struggled to kick him. He forced my legs open holding my thighs apart and pushed his face into my pussy, sucking my clit and swirling his tongue inside of me. My breath was ragged and I fought to maintain some control but completely lost it when he inserted two of his very long fingers inside of me. I gasped loudly and yelled out "Fuck!" numerous times.

Edward began to rub his thumb furiously on my clit while he finger fucked me to the brink of a mind blowing orgasm before he pulled out his fingers and forced them into my own mouth.

As fucked up as this sex was, it was primal… needed and much overdue. We needed one another and he needed to prove to himself that I was his. If this was the only way I could show him that I was completely and utterly unmistakably his then so be it.

I jumped from the bed in a fit of passion and quickly unzipped his pants then pulled them down –allowing his girth to spring forth. He growled and yanked me up –pulling me to the other side of the bed and forcefully pressed my body against the mattress so that my head was off to one side.

"Take it!" He snarled, shoving his cock into my mouth. My eyes watered and I gagged as the tip hit the back of my throat.

I fought the urge not to bite down knowing that if I did, it would only make matters worse. His moans were over the top. "Squeeze my balls too!" He grunted.

He knew what I liked… what exactly it took to make me cum. I grasped his shaft and moved my lips to his balls, stroking his cock and urging him to cum as he fucked my throat. I could feel his cock pulsate as it got ready to explode and I found my chance to get away. I took the role playing one step further.

"Tease!" He yelled and lunged across the bed grabbing my ankle.

He pushed my body into the mattress and grabbed my waist. "Now you're going to get it!" His voice was menacing and he was panting, frustrated, and I knew what was going to happen next.

Edward climbed up behind me and forced his cock into my incredibly wet pussy. I gasped loudly as I pushed back against him following his rhythm. I reached up, knowing as soon as I touched my clit I would cum all over his hard thick cock.

"Oh fuck, Edward, I'm coming! Harder!" I yelled as I shoved my face into the pillow… hoping my screams of pleasure wouldn't be heard by the neighbors. He groaned and thrusted faster until I felt hot jets of cum shoot down my canal.

I was shaking. My pussy was quivering as I lay there desperately trying to catch my breath. He collapsed on top of me feeling so warm and the weight of his body was comforting and protective despite the rough sex we had both just enjoyed.

Softly, he brushed my hair from my face, kissed my cheek, and whispered "I love you."

My breathing slowed back down to almost normal and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his cock against my ass. I swear I could come again if I touched myself.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." I turned slightly to look him in the eyes.

"I get it. You needed me. I needed you. We needed one another," I whispered.

"Did I hurt you? Oh, God, tell me I didn't hurt you." He sat up quickly palming his face.

"Shh… it's fine," I whispered. "It's what we both wanted."

His hands left his face and reached out to touch mine –caressing my face. I sighed. I was blissfully content and more than happy to do anything he wanted.

"I'll be right back," he said as he rolled off of me.

I turned over onto my side and admired his perfectly sculpted ass. I really wanted to reach out and grab at him but I smiled and watched him head towards the shower. He peeked around the corner, smiled at me, and invited me to join him.

I smirked and said, "I think I just need a minute."

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm going to just lay here and enjoy the afterglow," I said giggling.

"If you change your mind…" he said, walking into the bathroom.

**Edward's Point Of View**

Standing under the hot spray of my shower, I felt ashamed of the way I had treated Bella. I was beyond frustrated with her… I was pissed that she'd allowed that sick bastard to touch her. How could she do that? How could she not only hurt me but belittle herself in that way?

I couldn't understand for the life of me why she'd confided in _him_. Why she'd turned to _him_? She said that she doesn't go backwards that she doesn't function that way, but that's what she did. We'd worked so hard. I'd worked so hard to get her away from that asshole and in one stupid misunderstanding she ran back into his arms… back to his bed. She'd gone backwards. How could I ever trust her again?

My heart was breaking… that I was sure of. I wasn't even sure that I could look at her the same way but I loved her. This I knew to be true… the only truth that I'd known for such a long time… something that wasn't phony or a role that we played, but still it was all too much for me to wrap my head around.

She'd defied me along with herself. She wasn't mine to begin with and I'd taken her from another, but she wasn't Jakes to begin with. She was free for the taking –at least that's how I saw it.

I want things to work out between Bella and me. I truly do but I'm not sure I can get over this. I look at her face and I see the beauty that is her, but I also see that fucker touching her perfect skin… kissing her luscious mouth… my mouth… my skin… It's enough to make me puke.

I was Edward motherfucking Cullen. Women don't play me. I played them. I don't get it. How could this women unravel me like this? How could she take every single thing that I've come to know as normal and turn it into the apocalypse?

Everyone warned me about her… including herself, but I just didn't listen. I saw more to Bella then meets the eyes… something deep inside her that I knew was far more than what was on the exterior, but still could I get over this? Could I walk around and pretend that nothing happened? No, I couldn't and I knew it.

I'm the type of man that believes that everything I have is mine, and ironically my parents never taught me to share. Then there was what just went on in the bedroom. I don't know what came over me. I was like a lion staking claim to his lioness. What the fuck? I'd never acted this way in all my life, but that fucker had taken the one thing in this world that I wanted more than anything.

I know it's a strange scenario considering I'd done the exact same thing to Jake mere weeks before but I never viewed Bella as his and now that I viewed her as mine… I guess in some wired fucked up way I deserved what I got.

Was this how our relationship was going to be –miserable, fucked up, painful, twisted? I never wanted a relationship but now that I have one I don't want it to be like this. I know that a relationship has its ups and downs or so I'm told, but really this is just too damn much for any one person to go through.

I think I was right to rent the suite for Bella. It wasn't that I wanted to end our relationship; I just wanted to protect her and myself. Not one of us said slow down or thought things through. I'm a man who always thinks about the worst case scenario –prepared for the outcome, but not with Bella. With her, I just relished in the happiness that she gave me. Now as I look back… was it all really happiness or was it all in my head?

So much drama. Edward Cullen doesn't do drama yet I jumped in feet first.

All of this is fucking with my head. I'd rather my company perish then go through this shit.

As the water in my shower turned cold, I came to the realization that I was out of my elements here. I didn't want to lose the one good thing that had come into my life nor did I want to continuously feel this way. The hard part now was to explain this to Bella in a way that wouldn't send her running for the hills.

She was a fragile woman and took things very literally. I needed to be careful of my wording.

After I dried off and returned to my bedroom I found her sprawled out across my bed looking so angelic. Her peaceful, sound, sleeping face was heart-warming. I made the decision right there and then that I'd talk about this with her over breakfast. Tonight I just wanted to hold her in my arms and pretend that nothing happened. I just wanted to be happy for the next eight hours.

When morning came, I got dressed and made my way into the kitchen where I found her making a pot of coffee and pouring us a bowl of cereal.

"I really need to learn how to cook." She smiled.

Her crooked smile made my cock ache out to be inside her. I loved this woman more than life it's self, but in order for this to work I needed to make her understand.

"Really, I don't mind. I like cereal." I smiled back at her wanting to slap myself in the forehead for being completely fucking lame.

When Bella finally took a seat next to me I found the courage to start the one conversation that I knew would go one of two ways.

"Bella, I'd still like you to stay in the suite that I've rented for you."

I couldn't look up from my bowel of Shreddies which were turning soggy the longer they sat there.

_Hmm… things that we do to occupy our brains._

"Like I said last night, Edward, it's not necessary. I can go and stay with my father for a while." Her words were sour and cold.

When I looked up at her, her features were pained. I knew that she thought this was over and she was hurting as much as I was. Her eyes never moved from her floating Shreddies which told me that she too was trying to be brave and get through this conversation too.

"No, I'd like it if you'd stay in the suite that I rented. I don't know how you feel about our relationship but for me I don't intend on giving up that easy. Like I said last night, I think that we might have taken things a little fast."

"Edward, you don't have to do this. I understand that I fucked up and I can't take back what I did. Please don't feel obligated. Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I'm a big girl I can handle the truth."

Truth… could she really handle the truth of the situation?

"Bella, you want the truth then here it is. I'm no better than Jake. I've ruined a marriage, ruined your life and Jakes life all because I'm a selfish man who fell in love with a woman who wasn't mine for the taking. If I didn't feel so strongly that you were over Jake and loved me I would've never pursued you. Then again, maybe I would've… I don't know. What I do know is what you did has fucked up my head. I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"I know, Edward. I'm truly sorry," she whispered.

"I believe that you're sorry, Bella, I really do, but this isn't something that I can forget over night. I can't just go on pretending that shit didn't happen. I deal with it. This is the best way I know how."

I watched as her eyes turned red and puffy as the tears started to trickle down her cheeks and across her lips.

"This is the best way that I know how to deal with this shit and still keep you." I whispered watching as her head whipped around and her eyes locked onto mine.

"Keep me?" She squeaked.

"Bella, people are people. We make mistakes. You and I have a lot to work out but even with all of this I don't want to lose the one good thing in my life. I just want to take things a little slower. I'd like to court you, take you out on a date, feed you, treat you like a girlfriend. I want to get to know you better and you to know me. In all honesty we don't know that much about one another other then I run a company, my mother's a bitch, your husband's a douchebag, and your father's an asshole. I want us to take things a little slower. I want you to figure out what it is that you want. Whether that's me or Jake or neither one of us. I want to give you the chance to make up your own mind. Do you understand?" I eyed her as she nodded her head.

"Good, now please don't misunderstand me. If you do this again, I will end this relationship. I'm a man in love, Bella, but I'm not a fool."

She looked at me dumb-founded and I'm sure that she'd never had someone give her a break before. I wanted to be as honest with her as I could without upsetting her and making her think that I no longer wanted her. I hope that I did that justice. I think I did.

With a tear stained face, she leaped across the island at me into my lap. Her arms wound tightly around my neck as she cried into my shoulder. I sat there stroking her hair and realized in that moment that my life would never be complete if she wasn't a part of it.

For the first time in my life, I left my self open –allowed myself to become vulnerable. As much as it scared the hell out of me, losing her was far worse than any pain I was feeling. Her face slowly moved from my shoulder to look at me and when I could see her beautiful face I smiled and kissed her softly on the lips. Her eyes were stunningly sparkling. Yes, it was coming from her tears but they were tears of happiness –happiness that I'd given her.

I smiled and said my goodbyes and told her that I'd show her the suite after dinner. She agreed and smiled.

When I made it down to the lobby, Felix greeted me.

"Mr. Cullen, we need to have a word." His eyes pierced into mine indicating that whatever it was wouldn't be good.

I softly grumbled, nodded, and we made our way to my car. Once there, he informed me that Jacob had attempted to enter the building last night. Things got a little heated between him and Felix. Felix went on to tell me that he had to get a little rough with Jake and that the police were called.

I smiled up at him. Even though this was something I was dreading I was thrilled that he was back in jail. I couldn't understand for the life of me how the hell he had managed to get himself out of his metal confinements for the evening.

"That's good to hear Felix. Bella won't be attending work for another week or so. During that time, I want you to keep a watchful eye on her. Don't let him anywhere near her." I eyed him in warning as he nodded and closed the car door.

Once my driver started the car and we were making our way down the highway, I realized that I was grinding my teeth. I had never in my life allowed someone to take this kind of hold over me and I'm not talking about Bella.

Jake had my eyes seeing red, my teeth turning to powder, and my balls in a vice. The rage inside of me was hard to contain.

"Do you know any good hit men, Perkins?" I asked the driver.

"Sir?" I had to laugh when his concerned eyes looked at me through the review mirror.

"Nothing, Perkins. I've just got a lot on my mind."

I smiled slightly knowing damn well that I didn't have the balls to hire some damn hit man, but the thought of it gave me a slight bit of happiness.

_I'm fucked I know._

I couldn't fault Jake and his actions. God, I should've done the same damn thing. I should've gone to her father's and chased after her. Maybe, just maybe all this shit wouldn't be happening.

Jake, however, needed to get a fucking clue. I understood that Bella fucked him and probably fucked up his head, but she came back to me. She'll always come back to me. She's mine. He has to see that right?

Oh, fuck, I don't know. My mind was going a million miles a minute.

_How the fuck am I going to function today?_

When I made it to the office, I found myself very sluggish –not wanting to be there at all. Rosalie greeted me, of course, bringing me my daily dose of caffeine.

"God, Cullen, you look like shit." Her eyes wondered over my sloppy attire. I hadn't even realized that my tie was still hanging loosely around my neck and my dress shirt wasn't tucked in.

"Thanks for the overreaction, Rosalie, but I pay you to fetch my coffee and answer my phones not to be my personal stylist." I huffed back.

"Well, good morning to you to sir. What would, sir, like me to do today?" She batted her damn eyelashes at me.

"Fuck, Rose, I'm sorry alright! I didn't mean any of that shit. It's just been a long night."

Rosalie didn't even hesitate. "What the hell did you do to Bella?"

"Rosalie, this is hardly the place for this conversation and just so you know I didn't do anything to Bella." I whispered grabbing her by the arm and towing her behind me into my office.

Once the door was closed tightly, I turned to address her and suddenly wanted to re-open my god damn door. Rosalie loved her friend this I could tell without a doubt, but she wasn't on the mark when it came to the situation.

"Tell me Edward. What the fuck did you do? She's hasn't been to work or returned any of my damn calls so don't you fucking patronize me by telling me nothing's wrong. You tell me right fucking now!"

I couldn't help but smile. Before I learned that Rose and Bella were friends, I never really knew that much about Rosalie. She was just a woman who answered my phone calls, took messages, reminded me of appointments, and yes, brought me my morning coffee.

Ever since Bella and I started, it seemed like Rose came with the relationship –among many other damn people. Rose, however, I welcomed… even her very rude display just now.

"I'm god damn well waiting!" She shouted tapping her tiny foot off of my green carpet.

"Rose, Bella and I are just going through some things. It's nothing we can't work out. As you know this relationship shit is rather new to me, and Bella is trying to deal with a lot of new things as well."

"And?"

"And what?" I let out an exasperated breath as I placed my briefcase down onto the top of my desk.

"What else is going on? I know that there's more." She eyed me and came around my desk to help me with my tie.

"Rose there's nothing more to tell." I smiled as she chocked me with my own tie.

"You listen to me, Edward Cullen, Bella is a good girl and I won't let you fuck with her!" She warned pointing her little manicured finger at me.

Me fuck with her? How the hell could she think that I'd be the one to mess with her fucking mind? Break her heart? Clearly it was Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake! Oh, for fuck sakes! For just one god damn minute of my god damn day I'd like to not think about that fucking puke.

Bella had fucked around on me. Yeah, she fucked her husband, but all the same… where was my cavalry? For once in my god damn life I'd like to not be told off by a fucking woman.

"You don't know what you're talking about Rose," I grunted.

Suddenly I felt the sting of Rosalie's palm across my face. When I turned to face her, her face was blood red and she was ready to strike again. She was like a fucking cobra!

"What the fuck did you do that for?"

"You fucked someone else! I know you did! You always treat your women like shit! You're a fucking asshole!" She screamed slapping me yet again.

By the third time she went to slap me I grabbed her wrist.

"The first time I was caught off guard. The second I allowed because I deserved it. I have treated all those women horribly, but not Bella. The third will cost you your job so I suggest you put that shit in your pocket and mind your fucking business." I huffed.

"Fuck you, Edward. You tell me right fucking now who you fucked around with. I'll kill the bitch!"

And just like that, Rosalie Hale was on top of me slapping the shit out of me. Now I'm no fucking Jacob but I couldn't allow that shit to go down. Embarrass me in my office? In my own fucking company? I don't fucking think so. I managed to restrain Rose by rolling around on top of her.

"You listen to me. It's because you're such a good friend to Bella that I'm letting you get away with this. In the future, mind your own fucking business and keep your damn hands off of me. I didn't fucking do anything to Bella. She left me and slept with Jake then came back to me. Do you see now why I'm such a fucking mess? Huh? Do you?" I grumbled down at her shocked face as she nodded.

"I'm going to get up now and in the future you will learn that this is a business and that other bullshit stays the fuck out of my office." I warned.

When Rose got to her feet and straightened out her skirt she looked me directly in the eye and said, "Mr. Cullen, I do apologize for my actions. However, what you need to know about me is that I don't need this fucking job and Bella will always come first with me. If at anytime I feel that you've hurt her I won't hesitate to do that again. You have a meeting at ten o'clock, sir, with the Stone family regarding their estate." She smiled and closed the god damn door behind her.

I had to give it to her. She was one feisty little blonde. How the fuck did her burley bastard of a husband ever put up with her as long as he has? I was glad though that she'd be watching me… keeping six's so to speak. I needed to be on my toes and it gave me contentment that she was looking out for Bella.

When I made it to the meeting with James and the Stone family, I was shocked to find that three god damn generations of Stones were in my boardroom. This wasn't exactly what I was used to but I understood the reasoning for it. They wanted more than five hundred thousand dollars for the estate and I knew that they deserved it, but I needed to stay strong on my decision.

"Mr. Stone, I understand the history that comes with your property as well as I understand the love and memories that come along with it. I don't wish to turn your home into a mini mall or a complex. I only wish to restore it to its natural beauty and perhaps make it into a bed in breakfast or a high-end restaurant. I also understand that you and your family believe that it's worth a hell of a lot more if I may be so bold, but the building itself should be torn down. I don't want to do that of course, and because I don't, restorations of the property with cost me a few million. I hope that you understand my reasoning. If you wish however to go with the Denali's for cost value I wouldn't hold it against you. What I'm offering you here is an opportunity to maintain your family's home as is."

"We completely understand, Mr. Cullen, however, the Denali's are offering us five million dollars for our property. We need the money you understand?" He smiled and shook my hand. I understood of course in this economy all everyone thought about was money. That's all we all needed right now.

"Listen, Mr. Stone, I've got one more offer to put out there for you and your family –one that I'm only going to make once. If you choice to pass please rest a sure that I won't make it a second time."

His dark eyes pierced through mine. He was a smart man and knew how to play me… this I could see so I had to make him a sweeter deal; One I knew he just couldn't refuse.

"I will offer you no more than the five hundred thousand dollars on the estate as we agreed on, however, I'm willing to make the upstairs your private quarters so that you and your family may still live in the house as well as make it known that in my death the property goes back to the Stone family. The downstairs will be turned into a restaurant, and you and your family will work for me."

"It's a deal, Mr. Cullen. Where do we sign?"

I smiled and shook his hand then buzzed Rosalie to bring in the papers.

When the meeting was completed I turned to the clock and it was only three o'clock. I wanted to get home to Bella and… ah hell, I've landed the big deal. No more meetings for the day… I'm going home early.

Rosalie told me that she was going to be calling Bella and I made it known to her that I hoped she would. Bella needed all the friends she could get. I smiled and got into the elevator.

When I got home, Bella was dancing around my living room vacuuming. I chuckled slightly as she swung her hips to Bon Jovi using the vacuum as her partner. Slowly and silently I walked over to the plug and unplugged the vacuum. At first, she looked at it mortified like she'd broken it and then she started kicking the shit out of it.

I was chuckling as I walked over to her and turned down the music. The moment she saw me she flushed on sight.

"Why are you cleaning my house? You're supposed to be resting. I do have a maid you know?" I eyed her as she eyed me back in disbelief.

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to do all damn day when you're gone?

"Resting." I warned her. "Come, I want to take you to your suite." I reached out for her hand and reluctantly she placed her tiny hand into mine.

"You're only two doors down from me." I pressed the buttons on the elevator and within seconds they were opened again.

She walked in looking around with a strange look on her face. "What?"

"What? What the hell do I need all this shit for?"

I looked around. It wasn't that extravagant if you'd ask me. There was a large green swayed couch and a thirty-six inch flat screen above a fire place. Her kitchen was the same set up as mine. One bedroom with one king size bed and a very small walk-in closet compared to mine. Her bath room had a slay tub, a toilet, and a fucking sink. I had no idea what the hell she expected… a damn outhouse and a tent?

"Bella, really this is only temporary. I'd like you to live here for a while. Sleep here and we'll go out… see one another as we agreed upon."

"Okay," she whispered as I placed her chin in my hands.

"I do love you, Bella, all of you, but I need to know that you love me and only me."

"But I do, Edward; I do love you and only you."

"I think you want to believe that, but you have a lot going on up here." I tapped her temple slightly with my index finger.

"Figure this shit out first then we'll move back in together." I smiled kissing her softly then left her in her new apartment.

Her sad eyes haunted me that night as I lay alone in my bed longing for her touch. This was right. We needed some distance. It'll work out in the end, right? I just hope I didn't fuck things up royally with her.

All I want is her… all of her –not just some small broken part of her that thinks I can make her life better. I want her to want me… desire me, and I never want to hear that man's name come off of her lips ever again.

This was it… the end or start of something that we'd started and no matter how much I knew it was right… it just felt so damn wrong on so many levels.

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**So that's it. Remember to leave me a review and let me know what your thoughts are on the chapter. Do you think that Edward reacted the right way or do you think that he should've been a little more upset or less upset? I want to hear your thoughts so take a minute and let me know what you think. **

**I will try for the most part to update sooner. For those of you who don't know I've recently found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I are very excited, we're 14 weeks along. This is our first pregnancy. We had so many complications on even being able to get pregnant so after three years of trying we've received a miracle. **

**On a personal note besides all the doctor's appointments we have several complications. So this is what keeps me extra busy. When it comes to the point that I need something to take my mind off of things I tend to write. **

**For those of you on Twitter that have been my support system through all the ups and downs of my situation… I want to thank you for always being there for me and lending your words of wisdom to help see me through a very scary time for me…. I love you all.**


	10. Chapter 10 Discarded guest

**Chapter 10**

**Discarded guest**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, disturbing and repulsive behavior as well as a lemon. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**I just want to mention that MP has made it to the second round for the Avant Garde Awards in both categories. Special thanks to all of you who voted for MP. If you want to see MP win please go and vote for Marital Psychosis for best realistic lemon and best Jacob at www(dot)avantgardeawards(dot)com.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my ladies and many followers on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal. **

**My beta's and good friend's Dee and Mydaughterbella… you guys are awesome.**

**My husband, who rocks my entire world… **

**My wonderful family and friends **

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

After Edward dumped me off in my new apartment –like a puppy on the side of a road that he no longer wanted –I stared at the elevator doors for a while stupidly believing that they'd open and he'd scoop me up into his arms and wisp me back into his apartment.

What fucked up fantasy was I living in?

My knees gave way and as I fell to the ground my hands cupped my face. I feared that my own hands were all the touching I was ever going to feel from now on. How could Edward touch me again after what I did? I thought our little sexcapades in the bedroom had fixed everything –make up sex some would call it, but I guess it didn't.

I had this plan that I'd clean his house… attempt to make something nice for dinner while I wore something seductive. We'd talk over dinner… do what he had requested of me –date, dinner, and get to know one another. Then he'd see that he needed me… wanted me to stay, but that's not what happened. Instead, I didn't get a chance to finish what I started because he came home early –to kick my ass out most likely.

_Oh Bella, you're a stupid little girl. _

Edward said that he hadn't given up on us, but to me his action spoke louder than words… he'd already given up.

Slowly and surely I managed to contain myself and get up from my knees. This wasn't a time to wallow in my own self pity. Edward had said that he wasn't giving up and as much as I disagreed with his statement I had to stay strong and believe that what he said was the truth. I needed him to see that we were meant to be… were we? I don't know but what I do know is that I wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet.

As I turned around slowly to take in my new living arrangements, I realized that as over the top as it was, it wasn't as bad as my first reaction. It could've been a lot worse and I was sure that Edward tried to find something more "me" to help make this transition a little bit easier on me. What I mean by more me is less of the high end fancy pansy shit.

The place still smelled of money but I was sure that this was as low as it came in this place. For this I was grateful that at least he took my feeling into consideration. I decided to take another look around and get familiar with my new surroundings.

The tile floor in the living room was woven with gray and blue swirls mimicking what marble would look like. I smiled slightly that the tile was a knock off of the real thing and instantly became more comfortable. The living room itself was just off of the elevator and was an open concept just like Edwards. The couch was made of hunter green swayed. It sat directly across from a brick fire place and above that sat a very large flat screen TV. I have no idea of sizes but it was probably thirty inches or more. On either side of the couch sat two black glass end tables that contained two white vases of yellow daffodils.

My hand reached out and ran along the fabric on the back of the couch as I made my way across the living room towards the kitchen. To my very happy surprise it was set up exactly like Edwards. The small island in the middle of the room… the counter off to the left… the only difference was that it was wood counter tops instead of marble. Large windows adorned the right wall and just below sat a very small wooden kitchen table –which sat four.

Satisfied with my new kitchen I made my way back through the living room and down a small corridor. The first door on the right was my new bedroom –one in which I was sure Edward would never stay in. The bed itself was ridiculously large. A king size bed for a single person seemed to me a bit much but it was beautiful. It was black cast iron with a leaf pattern woven through the bars in the center like a vine. The bed had a dark hunter green comforter with matching pillow shames and again the black glass end tables on either side of the bed containing the white vases of yellow daffodils. I briefly looked around for a dresser and remembered that I had a walk-in closet. When I opened the closet doors I couldn't believe the amount of clothes that were in there. Edward had someone buy me clothes and this I wasn't at all comfortable with.

After I slammed the closet doors shut, I made my way down the hall and to the left was a small but very beautiful bathroom. A slay bathtub sat directly in the middle of the bathroom giving me an old time feel –which I loved. A small white porcelain sink and toilet sat side by side along the left wall and a small stand up shower occupied the right corner of the room. It was nothing special to most people but to me it was heaven. I could see myself in that tub full of bubbles getting lost in some book. That bedroom was a whole other story. I had no damn idea how I was going to be able to sleep in that bed all alone.

I waited for Edward to return but minutes turned into hours and before I knew it I'd fallen asleep on the couch.

_I was woken by the light peering in through the windows. I suddenly felt very sick… Edward hadn't come back last night to see me… was it all over?_

_I sat up quickly and placed my head in my hands –sobbing uncontrollably. I'd made a mess of everything… I had no one to blame but myself. I cried until I had no more tears to shed and when I mustered enough strength to get out of bed, I noticed that I was undressed. _

_Panic ran through me for a second, wondering who the hell had undressed me and placed me into bed. Then I figured Edward must have come back to find me sprawled out on the couch. Out of nowhere, a smile now occupied my face in the realization that he did come back to check in on me. _

_When I flung the sheets back I realized that I wasn't in my own bed I was in Edward's. I wrapped my arms around myself and hugged myself hard, smiling in complete and utter bliss. _

_I looked around the room and spotted Edward's gray t-shirt and quickly threw it on then darted down the hall and into the kitchen where I found Edward cooking breakfast._

"_Good morning!" I smiled and when he turned to face me my face fell._

"_Good morning, Izzy." Jake's sinister face was smiling at me._

"_Jacob, what are you doing here?" I choked out._

"_What? You're not happy to see me?"_

"_No… you shouldn't be here" I whispered._

_I watched contently as Jacob put the spatula down and slowly walked towards me. I noted his hand gliding across the marble counter top and shuddered when his palm connected with the handle of a very large butcher's knife. _

"_You thought you could just up and leave me? Who the hell do you think you are?" He chuckled out placing the cold metal blade at my throat._

"_Jake, listen, I'm nobody. Put the knife down and we'll talk ok? I made a mistake. I love you." My voice came out very unconvincing._

_My heart picked up the pace and was practically beating out of my chest when I felt the cold pointed tip of the knife work its way down my left arm and in between my breasts. I wanted to cry out for help but my voice caught in my throat. _

_Suddenly, Jake backed up and pointed to the counter where there laid a hand gun. My eyes left the black metal and roamed his eyes seeking understandaning and when they shot wide open, Jacob's smile grew. _

"_That's right, Izzy, when I send you into the next world I won't be far behind you."_

_I watched as he took a few steps towards me. His hand gripped the knife as I watched his knuckles turn white. I started to run but every step was impossible. I was running in the same spot. I cried out for help as loud as I could but no words came out of my mouth. I dug in and ran harder but no matter how hard I ran I never moved. _

_Suddenly, Jake grabbed my throat and threw me against the wall. "Edward, you're first," Jacob snarled. My head whipped violently around the room for Edward and when I saw him he smiled brilliantly. Edward walked over to the kitchen counter gracefully and grabbed another knife. _

"_Edward, please help me." I begged._

"_Edward, please help me," he mimicked me._

"_Please, Edward, I love you," I cried out._

"_You love me? You love me? You've sure got a funny way of showing it, Bella," he hissed back._

_Out of nowhere, Edward lunged forward and I felt the sting of the knife penetrate deep within my heart. I cried out as I watched Edward and Jacob laugh hysterically giving each other high fives. Then I felt another sting as Jacob sunk his knife deep within my heart. I cried out again as Edward bent down to my level._

"_Now you know what it's like to have your heart broken," he whispered,_

_My breathing had become shallow when I heard the first shot –my foggy eyes allowing me to watch as Jacob's lifeless body fell to the floor. I smiled in relief that the world had been rid of this vial man but then I watched as Edward lifted the gun to his own head. _

"_No, Edward, stop! You don't need to do this!" I cried out as I watched as tears streamed down his cheeks._

_I knew that Edward was better than this. He'd turned to Jacob because of what I'd done to him. If he killed himself, the world would miss out on all that was Edward. I felt the sudden loss far too quickly when I heard the gun click. _

"_Edward, please… don't do this… please!" I begged as I watched his head tilt back and the gun went off._

"No! EDWARD!" I screamed waking up –soaked in my own sweat.

When I woke, it was still dark and I was all alone on the couch. I was desperately trying to catch my breath when I heard dishes shattering in the kitchen. I jumped off the couch and ran for the elevator. I turned to look back at the kitchen doorway to spot a tall dark figure. My fists started to pound the elevator doors when the figure walked towards me.

"Please, don't hurt me!" I cried out.

"Bella, it's me… Edward." He stopped just beside the couch and turned on a small table lamp… lighting up his beautiful features.

I ran to him as fast as I could. The impact knocked him back a few steps.

"I came here to take you out to dinner and you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you so I thought I'd make you dinner instead then you yelled out my name and I dropped the plates… tell me, love, what's wrong?"

"I had a horrible dream." I whispered as he held me tighter.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget about it." I shivered involuntarily.

I knew what my dream symbolized I wasn't stupid. I'd broken both their hearts and now it was my turn to have mine broken. It was broken and I'd never known how much love could hurt. However, as much as it hurt to have my heart broken it felt somehow good to know that I'd fallen in love in the first place –to allow it to be broken. It was bitter sweet.

I wiped my tears, smiled at him, took his hand into mine and walked back into the kitchen where he'd made one hell of a mess.

After dinner, we sat on the couch where he held me for a while until he told me that he was heading back to his apartment.

"Edward, could you just stay a little while? I'd like to talk to you." I whispered as he took his seat next to me.

"I do love you… and I don't want to lose you. Your conditions are that we start over… get to know one another right?"

"Yes. I just think you need some time to figure out what you want."

"I know what I want, Edward, and that's you. I've wanted you all along. I made a stupid mistake one that I can't take back and as much as it may sound like an excuse to you, I truly acted on pure emotion. I did what I did because I felt alone and I've never been alone before…"

"What? I don't understand?" He pressed his fingers onto the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"When my mother left, I turned to Jake. I never wanted to be alone, Edward. My mother had abandoned us, my father never gave two shits, and Jake was all I had. Jake filled that void and helped make me continue on. I never left Jake in fear that I'd be alone and then I found you. Do you see a pattern here? This is the most alone that I've ever felt and I need to put this fear to rest."

"What are you asking me?" He turned slightly looking tortured.

I felt my mouth go dry. The lump in my throat got bigger and my head screamed at me _not_ to say it, but my heart warned me that this was something I needed to do in order to leave all my baggage behind me.

"I've got more problems then you'll care to deal with Edward… this I swear to you. I've always pretended to be someone I'm not and I need you to understand that what I'm about to say is going to benefit us both. You'll have your wish and I will work out whatever is going on inside here and here." I pointed to me head and heart.

"Alright, Bella, you have my attention."

"I don't want to live here."

"Bella, I don't think we should live together." He sighed.

"I don't want to live with you either… not now anyways."

"You're not going back to your father's," He grunted.

"Just hear me out, Edward. I'm not going to go back to my father's. I'm going to quit working for your company and I'm going to find my own apartment and job. I want to stand on my own two feet. I want to know what it's like to be independent… to look after myself."

"Bella, you've been looking after yourself ever since you were a little girl. Let me look after you now." His features were so pained that it killed me a little inside.

"Edward, I may have grown up quickly, but I've always had someone to look after me. If you want to take things slowly… get to know one another… me working for you isn't going to work let alone you paying for this apartment."

"Alright. I'll find you a new job and a new place to live."

Why don't men understand women? I just wanted to give him what he asked for and figure some shit out for myself in the process.

"No, I need to do this on my own. I'll stay here until I get things in order and I'll work for you until you find a replacement but I don't want you to be involved in my decisions. I'll let you know where I'm going to be living and then you can come and pick me up and take me out on a real date." I smiled.

"You're leaving me." He bowed his head. "You can come and live with me. Don't work for me. I don't care. Just don't leave me." He whispered.

"Edward, I'm not leaving you. I'm doing this to make us better… to give you what you asked for. You wanted me to figure my shit out. I can't do that here. I'm too clouded by you… you intoxicate me." I smiled as did he.

Finally, thank all the heavens he was smiling.

My body leaned in slowly contemplating whether or not I should, but as our noses touched and our eyes met all contemplating went out the window.

Edward leaned in slowly and cupped my chin in his strong hand as he ran the pad of his thumb across my trembling lips. His hand charmingly moved to touch my cheek as I looked into his green hooded eyes.

He kissed me hungrily and I responded to him. I'd never wanted anything more in my life then his kiss or his touch.

I leaned over him and ran my hand up and down his thigh until I firmly caressed his cock through his pants. His cock instantly responded to my touch… growing harder by the second. I pulled down his zipper freeing his girth from its confines. Edward moaned slightly as my hand squeezed it gently and stroked it slowly up and down.

I leaned down lower allowing my chin to drag down his chest while my eyes stared at his until the hood of his cock was softly grazing my lips. I kissed it first and gently started to lick it. I heard him let another groan escape his lips and felt his hands in my hair.

After a few minutes of pleasuring him, he tugged at my hair, signaling that I needed to stop. I pulled back slightly feeling the considerable sting of being rejected when he stood, picked me up in his arms, and carried me into my new bedroom. Edward undressed quickly and turned towards me.

When he reached me, I ran my finger tips over his defined chest –feeling every ridge, crease and firmness that his chest had to offer me. His body would always amaze me. Edward pulled my hand away and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. I moaned intently as I watched two of my fingers get lost in his moist, warm, plump mouth.

His hand roughly yet softly maneuvered its way up and down my blouse, over my breasts and when I felt both hands grabbing my hips pulling me hard into his girth. My center ached for him to be inside of me.

As I started to unbutton my blouse, Edward's hand stopped me and replaced my hands with his own. One by one, agonizingly slow, he removed each button until the material fell loosely at my sides.

"You look stunning." He smiled standing back admiring the view before him.

"Edward, please." I begged.

A small husky moan penetrated deep within my ear drums forcing my hips to jolt into the air. Soon I felt his hands graze the waist band of my jeans. His fingers interlocking on my button and the stiff jean material slid down my legs.

My body ached out for his touch and as if he could read my mind his lips were softly caressing my cleavage. He forced my breast to fall from their confines. They spilled over the top of my pink lace bra. I felt has his hands squeeze my breasts, and as he felt their fullness in his hands, I felt my body tingle in longing for more. He leaned down further and took my right nipple into his mouth. The feeling forced me to whimper against him. He sucked on it hungrily before taking the other into his mouth like he was a man on death row and my breast were his last meal.

I moaned harder and held his head against my breast. He pulled away from me and kissed his way to my mouth and back down. He kissed every inch of my body as I whimpered under his weight. His hands and lips lovingly caressed my thighs until they were fully apart.

Edward's fingers hooked around the straps of my underwear and soon I was bare before him. His lips went back to kissing until they'd reached the crease where my pussy and thigh met . I sat up onto my elbows to watch this beautiful man between my legs. He smiled up at me. His tongue swirled around my outer lips and teased me beyond belief. He blew lightly on my pussy. His lips were moist and in the shape of an "O"… _sexy as hell_. I moved my hips as I tried to get him to suck me, but he just smiled and went back to his torture of delicate licks.

When his expert tongue finally started to lick my pussy, I squealed in delight… feeling his smile on my lips… and then slowly he pushed a finger inside me as he continued to suck on my clit, forcing my hips to buck.

Up and down, back and forth, in and out, he manipulated my pussy until my juices spilled out of me and I moaned out in ecstasy. He smiled, wiped at his mouth and fell onto his back on the bed. I jumped up ready for more and climbed over him. I straddled his hips, grabbed his cock in my hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

I positioned him at my entrance and moaned out as I pushed down and felt his hard, thick cock penetrate my tight, wet pussy. As I started to move my hips up and down, back and forth, he moaned out my name, "Bella," and grabbed my hips tightly as he thrusted up into me.

Soon we switched and he was now over me with his hands on my breasts again. He pushed his dick deep inside of me. We were both going to reach our climaxes soon. I could feel it… and then suddenly I screamed as I reached mine. My scream's of pleasure sent him over the brink of no return. As his warm cum jetted up inside me, I felt whole, warm, and loved. We were both worn out by the experience.

"That felt great," He whispered. "It almost felt like the first and last time that it would happen."

I smiled and snuggled into his arms. It was true through. It was going to be the last time… for a while at least. This would be for our own good; we needed to take a break from one another.

After a while, he drifted to sleep, and I watched him sadly knowing that I'd had him in the bed that I thought I would never and now… now I was going to leave him for a while.

I slowly crept out of bed and found my cell phone on the coffee table then made my way to the kitchen. I needed to make the call before I lost my nerve.

"Good evening… Carlisle Cullen." Carlisle sounded like I had woken him. I suddenly felt bad because I had no idea of the time.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, its Bella… did I wake you?"

"No dear, what's wrong? Is everything alright with Edward?"

"Oh, yes, sir… I was just calling to see if I could still take you up in your offer."

"You'll have to refresh my memory dear I make many offers." He politely addressed me.

"I'd like to sell Izzy's. You said that you'd pay me a million for it and I understand that Edward said I could easily get five, but I just need to get it off my shoulders you understand."

"Are you sure that you want to do that? I mean I know how much the place means to you."

"Honestly, Mr. Cullen, the place is closed down right now and I need to pay the fines. Jacob can't do it so I'm sure if I offer him five hundred thousand he'll sell as well. I just need this part of my life to be put to rest. I also need to pay for a divorce, Sir."

"Please, Bella, call me Carlisle. I'm sure that Edward wouldn't mind helping you with your divorce."

"Sir… Carlisle, I'd like to take care of my own business. I understand that Edward comes from a great deal of money as well as he has earned a great deal of his own, but with all due respect… that is not why I love your son. Money means shit to me and all I want is to do this on my own… on my own terms."

"I understand that, Bella. That's very noble of you, dear, but I do believe that Edward would have a fit if he found out you sold to me for a million when he was very adamant at making sure you're getting your money's worth. Why don't you sell to him?"

"Because, Carlisle, Edward would give me far too much for the property because his heart is otherwise engaged. I also don't want him to know that I sold the property to you… do you understand?"

"Alright, Bella, we have a deal… one million. When do you need the money?"

"I'd like it if everything was arranged within the next two to three hours… is that possible?"

"Well it's defiantly going to keep me up but I'm sure we can oblige. I'll be in touch."

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen… I mean Carlisle."

"You're welcome dear… and please, I must apologize for my wife's behavior at dinner the other night. I truly don't know what's gotten over her. I suppose the money has gone to her head. She wasn't rich before I met her. She didn't have two cents to rub together. Now, I'm afraid the country clubs are getting to her. She wants to fit in at all times and sometimes she just disregards others so she remains on top. She'll come around."

"Thank you, Carlisle, but I highly doubt your wife and I will ever see eye to eye, but she'll have to learn to deal with me because I'm not going anywhere."

"Good to know. She needs a little competition every now and then… keeps her on her toes. We'll be in touch shortly."

"Yes, I look forward to it."

The next phone call I needed to make was to Jake. The phone rang several times before he finally answered it.

"What the fuck do you want? We have a restraining order you know… I could go back to jail for even answering this fucking phone."

I was silent for a few seconds not sure how to start this conversation and the anger of his ignorance wasn't helping matters either.

"Well speak… damn it!" He bellowed.

"Don't you fucking talk to me like I'm some fucking dog you've trained… you don't own me, Jacob Black!"

"Oh, but the papers you signed the day we got married and the ring you wear on your finger says I do. I bet you haven't even taken it off yet… have you?"

He'd won. He'd rattled me. I looked down at my left hand and realized that he was right. I hadn't taken it off. I stared at it for a few more minutes realizing that it meant nothing. This piece of gold had just become a part of me. It held no feelings towards Jacob. I'd just simply forgotten about it. Quickly, I pulled at it but it wouldn't come off.

"I knew you didn't." He laughed.

"Listen, I called you to tell you that I got offered a million dollars for Izzy's. I want to sell it."

"Like fuck! Izzy… It's our home!" He bellowed.

"No, Jake, it hasn't been a home or a business for a very long time."

"No!" He growled.

"Listen… we'll split the money fifty-fifty. That's five hundred dollars for you to start over. I'll pay for the fines out of my five and I'll pay for the divorce. So you get five hundred thousand for just signing the place over to me."

"Fuck that! I bet your little boyfriend wants to buy it for you. I won't have it!"

"Actually, Jake, Edward doesn't know about this. I'm selling it to his father and moving out on my own."

"Oh, trouble in paradise?" He sounded hopeful.

"That's hardly any of your business. Will you sell?"

"Fine, Izzy. When do I sign?"

"I'm sending you the documents through fax. The deal has to go through within the next hour."

"Hour!" He screamed.

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"I wasn't expecting to make this decision in an hour, Izzy."

"What's the problem now big shot can't back up your mouth? I'm sorry I didn't mean that. Look Jake do this for me. It's the least you can do."

"Fine, send them through."

It wasn't long after that that I was sending my bank account information to Carlisle and the signed deed. I sent my divorce request to my lawyer and called Rosalie for some help to find me a place to live. The sound of the fax machine buzzing had my head whipping back towards the bedroom door… afraid that I'd wake Edward.

Rosalie found me a place in Port Angeles but I couldn't move in until the end of the week. I made reservations at a nearby hotel for the week… starting tonight. After I hung up with Rosalie I found a note pad and wrote down a few lines.

I got dressed and found my duffel bag that I'd come here with inside my closet. It still contained all that I'd come here with. I folded the piece of paper and placed it on the pillow where I should be sleeping and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

I picked up my duffle bag and looked at him one last time as he slept peacefully. When I left the room, I closed the door silently behind me and walked towards the elevator with tears streaming down my face.

**Edward's Point Of View**

When I woke the next morning, I woke to an empty bed. I called out her name to get no response. When I sat up, I noticed the folded letter on her pillow.

_My Dearest Edward,_

_After our talk last night, I hope that this letter will make sense to you. I need to be completely free of all the restraints of my past and allowing you to do everything for me isn't helping me grow and move on. I need to stand on my own two feet. I need to walk before I can run._

_This is not goodbye. This is I'll see you soon. Please, Edward, don't give up on me… on us. I've never felt anything more real than what we've become. In order for this to work, we need some distance. _

_I don't know when I'll contact you next but please know that I'm doing this for me and for us. I want to give you all of me not just a small piece of what's left of me. I want to give you everything that you deserve and more. I need to love myself before I can love you farther. _

_I'm at a standstill in my life, Edward. I don't know where things went to shit but I hope to figure all that out and more in my time of reflection. The only thing that I do know is that I love you more than words could say and I need you to trust me when I say that I'm coming back to you._

_I'm going to be one hundred percent yours in every sense of the word. Just be patient with me. I know that's all you've been doing when it comes to me, but I ask that you do it one last time. _

_Please don't give up on us._

_I love you_

_Bella_

I groaned as I understood that she was putting a hold on our relationship. This wasn't what I wanted. I needed to find her. I grabbed my cell and tried to call her but she wasn't answering. When her machine picked up, I left her a small message…

"Bella, this wasn't exactly what I meant by we need to take things slow. Please stop running from me and come home to me. If you won't do that, please just call, text or something to let me know that you're alright."

I called down to the reception and asked them to call me a taxi and I got dressed. When I ran out of the plaza, I found my taxi waiting for me and told the driver the address to her father's home. I paid the driver to wait on me until I'd returned.

When I knocked on the door, her father informed me that she hadn't come home or called him. He demanded to know what was going on, but I refused to tell him. I then paid the driver to take me to Izzy's place. Again, I asked him to wait for me until I returned. Jake was shocked to greet me at his apartment door but let me in none the less.

When I walked into the small, dirty little shit hole of a place, I couldn't understand for the life of me how anyone could live in a place like this. This was definitely not a place for Bella. If it wasn't for the wedding photos of her splattered like some shrine on the wall I wouldn't have believed that she's occupied this place.

Jake returned with a beer in his hands with no hint of a smile on his face.

"Well are you not going to ask me why I'm here?" I grumbled.

"Nope. By the look on your face, she left you." He slapped me on the back.

"She didn't leave me… I just need to know if she contacted you." I asked.

"Nope never heard from her." He smiled. I nodded and headed for the door.

"Wait, Edward… she's trash. Just move on. You're a rich man. You can do so much better."

I wanted to turn around and punch him right in his fucking mouthy yap but instead I took the high road.

"Listen Jake. Just because you treated her like trash doesn't mean she is trash. What's the old saying? Ah yes… one's man's garbage is another man's treasure." I smiled but never turned to look at him as I exited. I figured he was fuming from ear to ear but I didn't care I had better things to take care of.

My last hope was Felix. When I'd returned I asked him if he saw Bella leave last night and if she told him where she was going. He told me that she'd left around two thirty this morning in a taxi, said good bye to him, and that she'd see him soon. He never thought much of it and I never instructed him not to let her leave the plaza. He was right I should've put her under lock and key… but what the hell would that have proved. I would've been no better than Jake.

"I fucked up bad Felix. All I wanted to do was to slow things down a little. I didn't want her to leave… not like this." I whispered as Felix escorted me into the dining hall. I was a blubbering mess.

Suddenly, I spotted the clock and it was like I was a robot. I needed to get to work and instantly all thoughts of Bella left my mind. Not entirely, of course, but my company wasn't going to run its self and I needed to get my ass down there ASAP.

I left the building quietly and tried to digest the fact that she'd probably left me and I wasn't sure whether I'd get the chance to explain or if I'd even see her again. I had eaten my own damn words from last night. _"Almost felt like the first and last time that it would happen."_

When the car made its way down the busy streets, I thought I was going crazy. All I saw was her face in every single ad… her lips on every lipstick advertisement. I needed a fucking drink! Thank god I keep that bottle of Jack in the top drawer of my office desk - oddly enough alongside my dirty magazine.

The elevator jingle was a little too merry for me and if I wasn't standing in the damn five by five small confinements with four other damn people I would've ripped the fucking speaker right off the wall.

When the doors opened, I practically flung myself at Rosalie.

"Good morning, Sir, Coffee?"

"Rosalie!" I shot out in excitement as her eyes widened. "Have you heard from Bella?"

"Oh no… I'm not going there. Whatever the hell is going on with you two… that's between you two. I'm not getting in the middle of it, Edward." She pointed her manicured index finger at me.

"Please, Rose, tell me she called you… please?" I begged.

"Do you want me to lie to you Edward?"

"She didn't." My shoulders went back to their slouching position.

"Even if she did, remember what you told me, Edward. This is a place of business and I'm to keep all that other shit outside these doors. I suggest you take your own advice." She smiled.

"She did. She called you." I smiled.

"Like I said, I'm not going there, Edward." She smiled back at me and nodded.

This was all I needed to hear. I just wanted to know that she was alright and when I got to my office there was a small note from Rosalie.

_Edward,_

_Bella wanted me to let you know that she's just fine. I'm under strict rules not to break the friend code and tell you where she is. _

_Edward, you need to understand that Bella has been through a lot in her life. What you have to offer her is just more than she can handle. She's never dealt with money before and quite frankly I think it scares the hell out of her. _

_I want to say that I think after what your mother did to her, you're lucky that she even came back. She's very fragile and broken and you need to be careful with her. I told you all this before and still you managed to hurt her. _

_As her friend, Edward, I'm asking that you let her figure things out on her own. If you suffocate her like Jake, you may never get her back._

_I understand that you must be beside yourself, but rest a sure that Bella has made it quite clear to me that she intends to come back to you. For whatever reason, Edward, she has seen something in you that she wants to better herself for._

_Quite frankly, I don't understand it at all because I happen to think that she's perfect just the way she is. Her only problem is meeting the wrong kind of men. _

_Don't misunderstand me, Edward, and you might want to keep this in your safe because I may burn it once I get my hands on it again later…_

_I think that you're the best thing that has happened to our Bella in a very long time. You must understand that she didn't have the same sort of upbringing as you and your brother have. _

_She's good at keeping things to herself and up until recently I didn't know anything about Jake. I only mention this because if she's keeping something from me about you, you can be sure that someday it will come out and I will be waiting in your office with my fists ready for a second round. _

_If you're as wonderful as she portrays you out to be then be patient with her and trust that she'll come back to you. Someone gave me some very good advice once when Emmett and I broke up. I hope it brings you the kind of reassurance that it brought me in my time of need._

_Let her go. If she comes back it was meant to be. If she doesn't… it never was._

_In my heart, Edward, I know that she loves you and for what it's worth, I believe that she'll return to you soon._

_Rosalie. _

I slouched back in my chair and looked out towards Rosalie's desk. She didn't even flinch to look my way. She'd gone on with her day like nothing had happened –smiling at everyone and answering her phone. I grumbled not understanding how someone was supposed to pretend like nothing was wrong.

I left my desk and made my way to my wall of windows and looked out on all my employees. A few looked at me then back to their computers.

I suddenly realized that I'd been such a hard ass when I first took over this company. When Bella had been around I'd become soft, and now that she was gone I'd turned back into that asshole that they all feared.

I sighed closing my blinds and took a few Tylenol to lessen the headache that was taking me over. I'd come to work trying to forget about her for a few moments but all it did was remind me of how I fucked her over my desk. Plus, every time I heard the squeak of the mail cart wheels all I could think about was her long legs leaning over it.

She was right. Her working here while we were trying to slow things down wouldn't have worked. Last night shouldn't have happened. Maybe she'd still be around this morning?

_Fuck, get it together Cullen she doesn't want you for your cock! Well maybe she does. She doesn't seem to want my money. _

I was losing my fucking mind when I heard a small rap at the door. I tried to ignore it but then my telephone started ringing, worsening my headache.

"What?" I yelled into the phone.

"Edward you're wanted on line two." Rosalie's chipper voice rang through the other end.

"I don't want to talk to anyone, Rosalie. Take a message." I grumbled.

"Oh you'll want to take this call, Sir… and Sir, don't forget to bring my coffee tomorrow morning as a thank you –two sugars and cream please."

What the fuck was she talking about?

"Hello," I grumbled to get no damn response. "Hello!" I shouted louder.

"Edward…"

"Bella, oh Bella, where are you? Tell me so I can send Felix to come and get you. Please come home to me."

"Miss me already?" She chuckled.

"Hell yes I miss you. Come home."

"Rose called and told me that you were miserable… that I needed to talk to you."

"I am love… without you… come home… please?"

"I can't, Edward, not yet. See it's working. You miss me. I miss you too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder." She laughed.

Why the hell do we both make all these references to quotes that we heard? Even Rosalie did it in her letter. Must be something in the water.

"I miss you so much. I'm not the same without you." I pouted.

"I know, baby, but remember we'll be better when this time has passed. I'll call you in a few days."

"When can I see you?"

"Edward, it's called cat and mouse. I play you… you pursue me. It's all a part of getting to know one another."

"Fine, but when can I see you again?"

"Soon. You need to give me a week or more. I'll call. I promise."

"A week or more? I can't take five more minutes without you."

"Oh suck it up muffin." She chuckled.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

And just like that our conversation was over.

I pulled out the letter she'd written me again and went over it with a clear head. She wrote… "This is not goodbye, this is I'll see you soon. I need to love myself before I can love you farther. In order for this to work, we need some distance." She'd ended the letter writing "Please don't give up on us."

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**Alright so that's all folks lmao don't forget to vote for MP at the www(dot)avantgardeawards(dot)com. **

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**pixie-belle88 as Best New Author. Sexylexicullen for Quite storm. DreamOfTheEndless Best New Author there are so many and I'm sure I'm missing out on some… Best of luck to you all. **

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**Until next time my loves… **

**April**


	11. Chapter 11 Poker hand

**Chapter 11**

**Poker hand**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, disturbing and repulsive behaviour as well as a lemon. **

***When I wrote this chapter I was listening to Lady Gaga I was born this way… if you want to give it a listen and set the mood for yourself***

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers. **

**To my ladies and many followers on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal. **

**My beta's and good friend's Dee and Mydaughterbella… you guys are awesome. So much work that you two put into this story… I will never be able to thank you both enough. **

**My husband, who rocks my entire world… **

**My wonderful family and friends **

**And I'd also like to thank all of you who keep adding my messed up tail as one of your favourite stories. **

**And thanks to those who voted for MP at the avant-garde awards **

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

The night I left Edward to pursue my own mission of understanding my fucked up mind practically killed me but it had to be done. Regardless of what some people might have thought of me, I wasn't out to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was trying to save it.

I knew that staying with Edward wasn't what I needed –although it was definitely what I wanted. Needing and wanting are two very different things. You need to eat. You wouldn't spend your grocery money on that new T.V you were wanting… would you? Well I suppose some would and perhaps that was me just merely two months ago.

From as far back as I can remember I never had what you would call a "normal" upbringing. To me, it was as normal as it gets though. When my mother left us, my whole world came crashing down. I remember some good times that we shared but when a little girl has her milestones in life and she has no one to turn to, she tends to find her own way.

Billy was there for me of course and he did what he could, but unfortunately I had to watch as little girls had their father-daughter dances and watched as their mothers baked for the school bake sales. To say the least, I was always on the back burner of life –I'd missed out on a lot.

The trouble for me started the day my mother and father started to fight and it only got worse the day they decided to separate… well the day my father found out about my mother's affair. Like so many kids, I blamed myself for such a long time. I wondered if I had behaved myself more, helped out around the house, got good grades… maybe they'd still be together. I soon realized that my mother wasn't happy for a very long time.

My mother leaving us seemed like shitty parenting, but in reality back then, I only saw my father through rose tinted glasses –he was perfect. It was when my mother left us that I saw his true colors. He wasn't around much to begin with. I'd just thought it was because he was so busy with his job and mom was a stay at home mother. I soon found out that this wasn't the case.

My father questioned whether or not I was his and up until I was a teenager he thought that I might be the local butcher's daughter. When I was little, he used to point out all the traits that this man and I shared. When I got older, people started to say how much I resembled my father and soon after that he stopped second guessing whether or not I was his.

In my teen years, I'd turned to drugs and alcohol. I got mixed up with the wrong kind of kids… to me they were exactly my kind of people. We would hang out behind the school where a gravesite resided. We never vandalized the stones. I wasn't into that kind of shit, but we did sit in the under keepers shed full of shovels and did our dope.

As morbid as it seems, I loved it there. It was quiet and gave me that small piece of serenity that I was searching for. At home, my father and mother continued to fight over the phone about custody. I truly felt like neither one of them wanted me.

I was sixteen years old when I first left home. I just wanted to be free from their struggle of who was going to have the burden of raising me. I figured I'd raised myself enough that I didn't need them fighting over me nor did I want to burden either one of them with the likes of me.

Yep, such a sappy ass tale, but trust me it only gets worse.

After shacking up with a friend of mine, my father came and drug my ass home. That night was the first night that I ever got a beating from my father. It was also the very night that I lost all respect and love for the man.

For a man who was to watch over the town for all the wrong doers, he was sure breaking the law himself.

The more I did drugs, the more I skipped school. I'd fucked up my education and I had no one to blame but myself. My parents might have fucked up at parenting, but I knew right from wrong and I knew that skipping school would result in me failing classes. This was a large wake up call for me. My father, Charlie, started to drink more and the more he drank the more he'd hit me. I knew that school was my only escape at that point so I buckled down and took some home classes while I was finishing my senior year. The end result was that I was able to graduate with my class.

When I look back on my life, I know that it wasn't all peaches and cream, but it was what I knew. I knew how to survive.

Jacob was my breath of fresh air back then. My father loved him dearly and when I started dating him, my father backed off. I guess in some ways I knew that dating Jake would please my father and I just wanted to make him proud of me. It was stupid I know, but I felt like I was such a disappointment in his life that I wanted him to be proud of something that I'd done.

In some ways I think my father was the worst parent because at least my mother wasn't there to hurt me the way he did. Even with all that I would still be there if they needed me. They are my parents.

A lot of the time I felt like I was the mother looking after her son. Charlie would come home drunker then a fucking skunk. The cruiser lights would still be flashing while the crack of his ass hung out of his pants as he staggered in the door. I'd run out, turn the lights to the cruiser off at three o'clock in the morning and put his ass to bed.

Even back then I was asking when my prince charming would come and take me from my dead end life, but like the realistic girl I was, I knew that the only prince charming that was coming was Jacob.

I went through what I went through with Jake. We all know the sad detail of that part of my life. There are still parts that I haven't shared with anyone, not even Edward, and I don't know if I'll ever feel brave enough to tell anyone exactly what I went through. Maybe someday, but right now I just don't have the guts.

So, when this beautiful angel faced man came into my life, I was stricken like a love sick puppy. I don't regret having the affair with Edward because it gave me a taste of happiness that I never knew existed. He had intoxicated me right from the very beginning. He'd saved my life in more ways than he knew.

I was sure that my life consisted of the darkness. I had become accustomed to the darkness and when the light had shone brightly… blinding me, I was overwhelmed by the sensations. I'd never known love and it took a complete stranger to teach me. Perhaps there are such things as guardian angels because that night Edward was mine.

I know it's such a corny and cliché thing to say and fuck me… just two months ago if a woman said that shit to me I would've fuck'n laughed in her face then told her she needed a fucking shrink ASAP. Now I'd be that woman who'd be told to get some fucking help.

Billy used to tell me that life was what we make it. I used to believe that life was like a poker hand… some get lucky and the rest are dealt a shitty hand. Well, if there was one thing I knew best… it was that I knew how to survive.

Today I realized that I kept doing everything wrong over and over again and I wasn't learning shit. I'd lived a life full of abuse and neglect and to me this was normal. I'd lived a life where I felt it was as good as it gets and I didn't deserve any better. I'd lived a life where even though I learned how to be an adult at an early age, I still allowed these people to rule with an iron thumb over me. I'd let them direct my life for far too long.

I loved Edward and I wanted to make things up to him. I'd fucked up. I'd hurt him more than probably anyone had and for this I deserved to be tossed aside, but for some reason he still loved me and wanted to try to work things out. I was grateful and lost that he'd still wanted me. That's when my realization hit like a ton of bricks… I needed to leave him.

It wasn't that I wanted to hurt him farther or wished that he'd just give up and leave. It was completely the opposite of that. I wanted to give him everything I had and with everything that was going on in my head I couldn't be what he deserved. I knew that I needed to figure shit out before I could be with him completely.

It wasn't until I arrived at the little shit hole hotel that I broke down and cried my eyes out. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do it felt so wrong and I just wanted to be in his arms.

I cried until morning came, wondering if he was going to give the fuck up on me. No one would blame him not even me. When Rose called and said that Edward looked miserable and she thought I should give him a call, I knew all hope wasn't lost.

At first when I called, I was nervous about what I would receive from Edward on the other end of the phone. Would he be understanding, patient, loving Edward or would it be Edward who'd been hurt enough by me?

His voice had done many things to me. I felt sad to hear the anger in his voice. I was happy that I could hear his voice but still nervous about what he would to say to me. I was shocked that he'd missed me so much and wanted me to come back home to him, but it was when he told me that he loved me that I knew I was doing the right thing.

If he loved me this much to forgive me, he deserved to have a better me… a better Bella.

I stayed the rest of the week in the hotel. I talked with Edward late into the night every single night we were apart. He learned more about me than he ever knew and I him. I guess we just felt more comfortable talking about private matters away from one another… at least I know I did. He couldn't see the hurt or tears that were on my face when I let a few things slip out about my childhood. It made this transitional phase in our relationship an easy one.

When the week ended, I was packing up all of my belongings when I heard a small rap at the door. I placed the shirt down that I was folding and headed for the door. I knew who it was. There was only one person who knew where I was staying… Rose.

I swung the door open wide to find her standing there with a few boxes and a smile… beautiful as ever.

"Oh Rose, I'm so happy you're here!" I squealed in delight.

"Shit, Bella, get it together. Why wouldn't I be here?" She huffed but I still didn't let her ass go.

After a few minutes of her trying to squirm her way out of my embrace, she just gave up and dragged my attached ass along with her into the hotel room.

"Jesus, Bella, this place is a fucking dive."

I laughed at how disgusted she looked. Her little nose crinkled up along with her eyes and her tongue shot out in distaste.

"You better get yourself checked out by a doctor and make sure you don't have bedbugs or scabies or some shit like that!" She shouted then tossed my arms off of her neck.

I laughed even harder and ran after her with my hands and fingers all bent up like a child ready to tickle it's prey. She ran spraying Lysol all over the damn place.

"Stop!" Rose demanded as I busted a gut laughing my ass off.

"Alright, but just remember you rented this god forsaken place for me." I warned her.

"Yes, but in my own defence, The Luxury Hotel and Spa hardly sounds like The Rat Hotel infested in fleas." She eyed me in an apologetic way.

"Seriously, Rose, it's fine." She grabbed my duffle bag and me by the arm and tugged me right out the door.

"In a hurry?" I asked.

"Oh, God, I couldn't stand to be in that place for one more second." She shivered at the thought.

When we got in her red Wrangler sport 4x4 jeep, she took the top off. We both laughed.

"Stop laughing at me!" she sighed "someday I'll be rich and have that red convertible BMW I've always wanted but until then a girl can pretend."

"Alright, Rose." I laughed.

Who was I to judge her? At least she had a vehicle.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, Rose turned up the music. The song that was on the radio was perfect. Lady Gaga, "I was born this way." Rose started to sing out loud and dance in her seat as we speed down the highway. I couldn't help myself and sung and danced right beside her. It was so liberating and was exactly what I needed.

When we pulled up at the apartment complex, I was taken aback at how nice it actually was. I know that it was just an apartment building but to me it was beautiful. Rose still wasn't impressed and perhaps it was a dive but to me it was the first time I've done anything on my own and I was proud of it.

I grabbed my one bag while Rose grabbed two boxes out of the back seat handing me one. I eyed her suspiciously.

"Now don't look at me like that. Its old stuff that Em and I weren't using anymore." I just smiled and thanked her.

I knew that I was in apartment one hundred and one but what I didn't know was that this apartment building didn't have an elevator. Rose was pissed that we had to go up three flights of stairs before we made it to my new apartment.

"Hey, look at it this way. At least I won't have to go to the gym." I chuckled.

"Yeah, if you don't fall down them and kill your clumsy ass first." She rolled her eyes.

"Here we are!" I squealed in excitement while Rose played with the upside down hanging number one.

I slapped her hand away and told her to leave it alone. She chuckled once again and waved her hand for me to do the honours and open the door.

I took in a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and opened the door to the start of my new life.

I had my eyes closed the whole time. I don't know why or what the hell I was expecting but when I opened my eyes, Rose was doing the same thing. I laughed harder and gave her a slap.

"What?"

We both chuckled and peaked around the door frame like we were about to rob the place.

We entered into a small kitchen/ living room area. The walls were white as white could be and I knew that I needed to paint that shit before it gave me a severe migraine. I ran through the living room into the small bathroom that contained one toilet, sink and a small tub. I'm being _very_ serious when I say it was probably 6x6. It was tiny and was very purple… I kind of liked that though. The bedroom was just off of the kitchen and was so small that a double bed would've taken up the entire space. There was no closet, but there was a linen closet in the hall that would do… I didn't have many clothes to worry about anyways.

When I made it back into the living room, Rose was still standing by the front door.

"What the hell are you doing? Get the hell in here and shut the fucking door bitch!" I laughed as she took one more step into the place.

I ran over to the door and gave it a good slam… mostly because it wouldn't shut without one.

"Listen Bells, I've got to run… duty calls."

"No, don't leave me yet." I whined.

Rose eyed me for a few seconds then sighed.

"I don't want to, but Edward has me working my ass off over the Stones estate. I've…"

"I get it, Rose. It's alright. Go." I smiled and waved her towards the door.

"Are you sure? I can call the asshole and tell him to shove it." She turned her head over her shoulders as I continued to push her from behind.

"No, really. You've got to work. Its fine and I have a lot of cleaning to do." I smiled.

"Yes you do. There's cleaning supplies in the box."

"You always think of everything."

"I love you, bitch."

"I love you too, bitch." I smiled as I struggled to open the door.

"Oh, no! I'm not going to be stuck in this place! Get out of my way!" Rose bellowed as she pulled at the door handle. I reached out and grabbed a hold of it as well and there we were both tugging with all our might trying to get the damn thing open. Of course we landed on our asses when it finally did and we laughed our asses off.

"I'll see you later?" I asked.

"I'll send Em up to fix your door and I'll be back tomorrow."

"No, please, there's a maintenance man around here. I'll get him to fix it. I don't want Em to know where I live."

"I get it; you don't want him to tell Jake?"

"No." I shamefully looked to the ground.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of." She pulled my face up to hers.

"Yes, there is. I'm making you lie to your own husband." I whined.

"Ah… what he doesn't know won't hurt him. We're good. Don't worry. All I've got to do is show him these bad boys and all is forgiven." I chuckled while she pushed her breasts up with her hands.

"You're the best Rose. Thank you for everything." I hugged her tightly.

"I know." She giggled "See you tomorrow."

"See ya." I smiled and waved. I watched her as she took a napkin from her purse to touch the door handle to the stairs. That was too funny.

When Rose disappeared from my sight, I turned around and took in my very empty surroundings.

I let out a deep breath. I'd never felt more alone than I did at that moment but smiled when I realized that alone was a good thing. I'd never been alone and as much as I hated it, I loved it too.

I was happy that I had a place that I could call my own, but still somehow found myself feeling down because I wanted to share that happiness with Edward. I eyed my phone wondering if I should phone him or not. When I picked it up, I placed it back down on the kitchen counter and walked away.

How was calling him going to help matters?

I went back into the living room and opened the two boxes that Rose had put together for me. In one there was every single cleaner that you could imagine. In the other was various things: silverware, dishes, pillows, a piece of foam, pots, a flashlight, batteries, a radio alarm clock, instant coffee, creamer, bread, and some peanut butter. What made me sit down on the floor and start to cry was a picture of Edward and me in a frame. It was the two of us at work standing side by side and I was looking up at him adoringly and completely happy. I've never seen myself look this way. I almost didn't recognize myself.

Rose snapped this picture without us knowing and I loved it. It made me miss him even more. When I finally stopped blubbering, I grabbed the clock radio and plugged it in. I found a station, turned that beast up, grabbed the cleaning supplies, and started in the kitchen.

I was dancing about, when I made it to the linen closet to find a can of turquoise, red and yellow paint, tray, rollers and some brushes. I yelled out in excitement and decided to paint the living room red, the kitchen yellow, deciding to leave the bathroom purple and the turquoise I'd leave for the bedroom.

When the sun peered through the windows I was exhausted but I got most of the cleaning and painting finished… all that was left was the door and a few furnishings to make the place a home.

I pulled out the small piece of foam and the pillows that Rose left me and decided to have a nap before heading out to do some shopping. After I slept for what felt like one hour, I got up with a stiff back and got ready to go shopping.

Port Angeles was larger than Forks but it was still small. It was Saturday so there were quite a few yard sales. I grabbed a few pictures, some curtains, and was even successful at finding a brown leather couch complete with end tables and coffee table. The woman was even nice enough to drive me back to my apartment and her husband and son helped me with the furniture. I felt bad that they had to bring that heavy shit up three flights of stairs but they were very nice about it.

Later I went back out to look for a bed but was unsuccessful. I gave up and headed to the local Wal-Mart and bought some purple bathroom accessories for my tiny bathroom. I walked the five blocks home to find my number one on my door was fixed then when I put the key in the door the door opened without a struggle. I hadn't called the maintenance man yet but figured he already knew the problems and just fixed it for me.

I was giddy when I walked in and the door closed easily. I even dropped the bags on the floor and did an end zone dance like they do at foot ball game. I stumbled and almost fell on my ass when I spotted Edward shirtless standing in my living room with a paint brush in hand.

**Edward's Point Of View**

I knew that Bella was moving into her new place and I was going crazy. I needed to know where she'd be living. I wanted to help her… protect her. Oh, God, I just needed to see her and I knew that the only person that could tell me of her whereabouts was Rose.

Rose was tough cookie to break. She was very loyal to Bella but after she left Bella in that dump… her words not mine, she felt bad for her friend and thought that maybe I could help her out by making the place more "liveable" for her.

Rose had a spare key of course and gave me the directions. I was shocked that she moved to Port Angeles but I was happy that she didn't move back to Forks. At least I knew she wasn't in the same town as Jake.

It was Saturday so I didn't have to work. I needed to see her. I missed her far too much. Without thinking about it, I jumped in my car and made my way down the highway toward Port Angeles.

When I arrived, I smiled realizing that this place was exactly Bella. I loved the fact that there was a security door complete with a video camera. That made me feel a little better but I would feel safer if Felix was standing outside her door. I knew that wouldn't go over well. I brought some tools with me because Rose said the place needed a good handy man.

_I might be a rich fucker but I know my way around tools. _

I was way too fucking excited when I knocked on the door only to get no answer. I called her cell and heard it ringing in the apartment and figured she must have gone out. I used the spare key to let myself in but the door stuck. I had to give it one hell of a good kick to open the fucking thing and laughed when I pictured my little dainty Bella trying to open the door.

First things first, I needed to fix that fucking door. It was swollen and needed to be shaved down a bit. I figured that shit out like a pro. I was even proud of myself. I put a screw in the dangling one and then entered into the small living room.

The first thing I noticed was a small piece of foam and pillow lying out on the floor. I cringed when I thought of her sleeping on that god damn thing. There was no fucking way I was going to let her sleep on the floor. Then I noticed the couch, end tables and coffee table strung up against one wall.

I smiled looking at the dirty ass thing. I knew that she'd probably bought it off of someone. Then I noticed the paint brushes and can of turquoise paint in the bed room. Now I could've called someone in to do it, but I figured if I did it she wouldn't be that mad that I was here without her permission.

I made a few phone calls and went right to work. I finished the bedroom and made my way back out into the living room and washed down the couch and end tables then set them up to face a large window that had no curtains. I then went back to the red paint to touch up what she couldn't reach.

I was just about finished when I heard the key in the door. Like the stupid fucker I was, I panicked and looked around for a place to hide. I don't know why so don't even fucking ask. I was peaking through the hinges in the bathroom door as she opened and closed the door, dropped her bags and did a little dance. I chuckled that she was this ecstatic over a fucking door and made my way back out into her living room.

She danced around a little more, bit down onto her bottom lip, fist punched the air with one hand and then the other, shaking her hips back and forth before she turned around and practically fell into the wall.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" She asked winded then grabbed at her chest.

I smiled and gracefully put the paint brush back into the tray and made my way over to her.

"I thought I would surprise you. I hope you're not mad. Rose told me that the place needed a little bit of work so…" I shrugged. "I came with tools. You can't be mad at me after I fixed your door and made your day." I chuckled as she placed her hands on her hips.

"You scared the shit out of me. You should've called first." She growled.

"I did but…" I pointed at the kitchen counter where she left her cell phone.

"We're supposed to have some distance," she whispered.

"I know, but I missed you like crazy. I'm sorry. I'll help fix things up and then I'll be on my way." I pouted.

"Like hell you will." She smiled and lunged for me.

I held her as tight as I could. I was shaking for god knows whatever reason. I pulled at her hair and pressed her even tighter into me. Her arms gripped me even harder as her face buried deep within my chest. She smelled a little bit like moths and dust but I didn't care I just wanted to hold her to me as tightly as I could. I felt like I hadn't felt her against me in years and I realized just how much I'd missed the feeling of her skin next to mine.

She broke the embrace and chuckled. I'd gotten the red paint on my bare chest all over the side of her face, hair, and t-shirt.

"It's a damn good thing I bought some stuff for the bathroom." She chuckled grabbing the bags she left at the door.

I smiled and took them from her then followed the sway of her tight, plump ass into the bathroom.

"Edward!" She hollered gaining my attention. Her ass had somehow hypnotized me.

"Yes?" I cleared my throat with a small smile as she passed me the purple shower curtain with green little frogs on it.

"Frogs? I didn't know that you were into frogs?" She handed me the next hanger to put through the hole of the curtain.

"I'm not, but it was the only purple curtain that I could find and besides, I think it's kind of cute." She huffed. Man I'd missed her fucking attitude.

She then passed me a new purple toilet seat to install.

"Don't you think that's enough purple?" I pointed at the wall as she stuck her tongue out at me.

When we were done in the bathroom, she thanked me for helping out. I told her that it was my pleasure of course and anything I could use as an excuse to see her I was glad to use.

I watched as her sweaty hair stuck to the side of her face. As I walked closer to her, her back hit the door frame of the bathroom. Her chest was heaving up and down as she realized that she had nowhere to escape from me. I smiled in victory and leaned down slowly, purposely making our chests touch. I watched as her eyes closed, lips parted, and as she took a deep breath. I smiled that I always got this kind of reaction out of her and lingered a little longer than necessary then tucked a long piece of stuck hair behind her ear.

Her eyes sprung open as her breathing continued to increase.

"You should have a shower and get changed. I'll make dinner." I smiled.

"I'm afraid all I have is bread and peanut butter." She blushed.

"I love peanut butter." I smiled running my thumb down her neck watching as Goosebumps appeared.

"Alright, I'll meet you in the living room in a few." She shivered and tried her best to not let me see that I was getting to her.

_Oh baby, you do the same damn thing to me._

When she entered the bathroom, I made dinner fast. She didn't know that I'd ordered some Chinese food. I just prayed that the guy showed the hell up before she got out of the shower. I was an impatient motherfucker so I called the damn place asking what was taking so long. The man said that they'd already sent the delivery guy out. He said they'd buzzed and there was no answer.

_Great something else I'd have to fix._

Luckily, the delivery boy wasn't far. He turned around and brought our dinner back. This time I met him downstairs, paid him a good damn tip for coming back, and ran the hell back up the stairs.

Bella was still in the shower when I'd arrived back at the apartment. I could hear her yelling for me so I quickly ran into the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" I yelled.

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I'd be getting out soon if you wanted to have a shower."

"Okay." I said sarcastically and she peeked her head out from behind the shower curtain.

"Don't be all sarcastic with me, Mr. Cullen. I had a shower this morning and if I shut the water off then you won't get any hot water for another hour or so." She rolled her eyes like it was something I should've known.

I've never had to worry about hot water. When I turn the tap on there was hot water. If I had to wait an hour I'd be fucking moving ASAP!

"Well, I could join you." I eyed her with a larger than life smile.

"Baby steps, Edward." She splashed me and then told me to get her one of the new towels she'd bought in the shopping bag. I got it but didn't really want to. I wanted to see her strut her naked, wet ass across the living room to get it for herself.

When she got out, she dried herself off and pulled the towel off then handed it to me in nothing more than her birthday suit. I swallowed hard as she grinned and took off for her bedroom.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

"EDWARD!"

I chuckled and went out into the living room to face the music.

"What the fuck?"

"I wasn't going to let you sleep on the floor." I shrugged.

She stormed off back into her bedroom where I followed her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Do you like it?" I whispered in her ear.

Her head fell back onto my chest as her hand still lingered on the light blue comforter on the new double bed that I'd bought her.

"I do but you shouldn't have done this."

"Think of it as a house warming gift." I smiled as she turned around in my arms.

"And this?" She questioned holding up my duffle bag.

"Well, I always come prepared."

"So you invited yourself to stay the night did you?"

"Bella, I've missed you more then I can express. I'll sleep on the couch. I just need to be with you for a little while. I need to fill the void in my life even if it's just for a few hours." I held her chin in my hands searching her eyes for permission.

"We'll see how the rest of the night goes and then I'll make up my mind." She swallowed.

I'd gotten to her and there was no way she was going to send me home. I knew that much. I smiled and grabbed my bag then headed back into the bathroom. When I got back out, Bella had the Chinese food in plates and was sitting on the couch smiling.

"How is it that you know exactly what I need?" She asked not even turning around to look at me.

"How is it that you always know I'm in the room without even making a sound?" I asked watching as she turned around and smiled at me.

The small blush on her cheeks was the most beautiful vision I'd ever seen in my life and god how I'd missed it.

We sat down and ate our dinner and talked about what we'd gone through the whole week without one another. I was happy to hear that she was just as miserable without me as I was her.

I knew that this was something that she had to do for herself and I wanted to give her everything that she wanted and needed. This wasn't any different. I hated that she wanted to live on her own but I knew that she needed and wanted this. I wasn't about to push the issue.

When we were finished with our dinner, I helped her with the dishes and opened a small bottle of red wine that I'd brought with me and had chilling in the fridge. We had to use coffee cups and oddly enough it allowed her to be comfortable with drinking wine.

"Edward, you're the most beautiful, thoughtful and loving person I've ever known. I love you like life it's self. You make everything so much better for me and this… this moving out on my own is so that I can fix what's wrong with me; so that I can be exactly what you deserve." She eyed me as one of her hands clutched her coffee cup and the other placed gently across her heart.

I placed my cup on the coffee table and took hers from her. I leaned in and kissed the top of her hand before placing it over my own heart.

"Bella, you've owned my heart ever since the first time I laid eyes on you. I've told you numerous times how much I love you. There's nothing about you that I want you to change. I love you for who you are. I hate that you think this little of yourself. Please don't do this for me. Do it for yourself… for your healing. All I want is for you to be happy. I know I can be overbearing sometimes… buying things that you're not used to… like the bed for instance, but I just want to give you everything."

"You've already gave me everything Edward… for just giving me this." I eyed her hand under mine on my chest.

I smiled in return placed my hands on her face. My thumb rubbed gently up and down her jaw line and across her left cheek. Her eyes closed as her hand reached up to touch mine. I watched as her head tilted slightly off to the side where her soft lips started to kiss my hand softly.

I adjusted myself slightly on the couch. Her lips just looked and felt too good against my skin. I couldn't control the bulge that was pushing at my zipper. I felt drawn to her like a magnet… perhaps a forbidden magnet. Maybe it was the glint in her eye or maybe the naughty smile on her lips, but at that moment I knew that she wanted more of me. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries. In fact, I didn't even know what our boundaries were so I shifted closer to her on the couch while still holding her precious face in my hands.

Her head tilted back granting me access to her long, lean neck. I smiled and watched as she continued to keep her eyes closed then leaned my lips closer to her. Once I smelled the aroma of her shampoo, I pressed my lips softly against her delicate neck and kissed my way down to her shoulder as she squirmed beneath me.

Her legs came up and wrapped around my waist allowing my bulge to connect with her core. I pressed myself hard against her and listened to her breathing as she enjoyed the friction. I rubbed myself against her again to test the water. I wanted to see just how far she was willing to let me take this.

I watched as her face flushed and listened as she moaned into my ear. It was getting harder to control myself. I reached up feeling my way over her tight fitting, low cut sweater that accentuated her breast and cleavage. I knew she wore for my benefit which also made my restraint that much harder.

"Edward, we need to stop." She breathed.

I of course didn't want to but I knew that she wanted to take things slow. She sat up awkwardly and apologized.

"Don't be sorry love." I smiled as she rubbed the back of her neck.

She'd complained earlier of a sore neck. I'm sure it was because she'd slept on the hard wood floor all damn night. I smiled, rubbed my hands together, and told her to sit in front of me. She sat between my legs as I put my hands on her neck to massage it. She tensed initially at my touch then relaxed as my hands caressed her. After a while, I moved my hands around to the front of her neck and stroked her neck at the top of her chest just above her breasts. I of course tested the water once again. When she didn't refuse me, I pressed farther letting one hand slip down slightly where I could feel the softness at the top of her breast. When she didn't object, I started to move it down slowly under the material of her sweater.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Feeling your breast. Is this ok?"

"We should be taking things slow. This isn't right."

"But it does feel good doesn't it?

She nodded and I took this as my invitation to continue.

My hand moved further down and I pressed my fingers into her flesh so that I could feel the softness of her breasts. I kissed her neck while she allowed my fingers to slip under her bra and cup her breast completely.

Her nipple became hard as my fingers caressed it softly. I pinched it slightly between my thumb and forefinger. She liked it a lot because her breathing got a lot louder and deeper. I returned the favour to the other only for her to turn around in my lap and stare at me. When she looked me straight in the eyes, she looked so fucking horny –almost as if she'd become possessed.

Her forehead fell against mine as her eyes lingered on my lips. Before I knew it, her lips had come crashing against mine –parting giving me instant access. When her tongue delicately found its way into my mouth, my hand instinctively tangled in her hair –forcing the kiss to become more dynamic.

God I'd missed her touch.

In a sexual fixation, I pulled her sweater up over her perfect mounds and then pulled her bra down, so that both of her pert nipples were revealed to me. They were pert, large and in charge –just begging for me to give them my undivided attention. With one swift movement I'd removed her pants. She was now in nothing more than her bra and panties.

I picked her up and placed her higher onto my lap so that her orbs were directly in front of my face. I leaned in and waited for her to reject me. When she didn't, I took one nipple into my mouth and sucked and licked then took them in turns.

I let a hand fall to her thigh and when she didn't refuse my touch. I lingered my hand up and down her thigh, inching closer to her inner thigh. Once there, she parted her legs slightly allow me to slide upwards. My hand moved towards her pussy and pressed against the material of her panties. I felt the heat and dampness seeping through. She pushed herself forward and lifted her bottom off of me a little so I could pull down her panties. Her pussy had a thin strip of hair down the mound and her hole was sopping wet for me. I let a small moan escape my lips as she bit down on my bottom lip.

My finger worked its way up and down her slick folds until I found her wet hole. Once I was in her, I moved in and out like an expert. I continued to suck and lick at her tits as she held my head in place and panted. When she pulled my head from her tits she looked lustfully at me then undid my pants and released my cock.

She gripped it tightly and stroked it long and hard with the look of a sexually neglected woman on her face.

"Bella, I want to make love to you right now."

She eyed me for a second and said, "Go on then."

I pulled her off of me and placed her gently onto the couch. I knew that she wanted to take things a little slower and that this could possibly set us back a few steps. Also, this would most likely be dangerous to our newly found relationship, but I felt like a high school boy scoring for the first time and I was horny as hell. I wanted to feel my cock buried deep inside her wet pussy. I needed to feel the closeness that only we shared with one another. I needed her now more then I needed to breath.

She lifted her knees up and I maneuvered myself so that her legs could wrap around my back. She grabbed my cock and guided it to its target. I slid in easily into her tight, wet pussy. Once in, she sucked me in deeper.

The first thrust sent us both over the edge of no return. She moaned out in pleasure and I right behind her. I continued to thrust as she pulled her bra over her head and allowed her tits to fall freely and press against me.

What had begun as a desire turned into such a passionate display of love making. I stilled slightly not wanting to cum yet.

"Fuck me, Edward… hard!" She bellowed.

"I can't hold on much longer, I'm going to cum soon." I grunted out my reply.

"I'm nearly there," she said and then added shortly after… "Now, I'm cumming! Oh! Edward give it to me! Make me cum!"

That was all I needed to hear and my cock erupted inside of her. I shot spurt after spurt of hot spunk deep into her womb. We both rode out our orgasm together.

We just lay there kissing each other passionately.

"Thank you, Edward." She tiredly whispered into my chest.

My chin hit my chest as I looked down at her, "Why are you thanking me love?" I asked.

"For being you. I've never known that making love could be this special."

I eyed her for a moment and then just nodded.

"Making love is only special when both people feel that love." I smiled. "So thank you for loving me back."

Bella grinned and before long was sleeping peacefully in my arms. I couldn't sleep that night. All I could do was watch how much happiness and peace I brought into her life. Her face told me more than she ever could. I knew she was scared to love me, but she somehow learned to. She was scared to leave Jake but she did it. She'd wanted to do things on her own and here she was doing it.

When I first meet her, she seemed so broken yet so physically strong. I learned with her that first appearances can be deceptive. She was broken, of course, but held this façade that she was tough because she was scared not to be. She needed a savoir and I knew that I was that for her the moment I laid eyes on her.

It had taken us a while to realize our feelings for one another and I knew how crazy it seemed that I was saying this now considering our love was relatively new. New love was fragile and easily broken even I knew that, but what we shared was an old love. It felt like we'd been together for fifteen years or more; at least that's how it felt to me.

I'd never be this happy with another woman. I'd never want for anything more than her but still she was adamant about staying here. How could I prove to her that all she needed was to be with me? How could I tell her that I hated that we were apart? I'd sound like a crazed stalker.

I didn't want to be selfish nor did I want to take away what she'd worked so hard to do, but I couldn't' help but feel like I wouldn't be whole without her. I'd learned to forgive her for what she did with Jake. After all, my mother had been horrible to her and I hadn't tried very hard to find her to explain what had happened. Maybe if I told her that I'd forgiven her for the Jake situation… that I understood it, she'd come home? Nah even I knew that wouldn't change how she felt about the situation.

Maybe I could move in next door? Pft like that would ever happen! But I'd do it if it meant I could be with her.

Time was something that we could never get back and I didn't want to waste one god damn minute apart from her.

_Oh I'm going completely out of my mind. _

I need to give her the space she needs and just let her make the decisions. That way I know that I didn't force her to do anything she didn't want to. We'll go about our dates like I stupidly suggested and relive our teeny bop years.

_This should be swell. _

But at least I loved her enough to try.

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**Alright so that's all folks.**

**Again I'm sorry for the delay, but I've had some issues that have come up that needed my undivided attention. As well as my beta's do have a life and they can't always control when their going to have the time to edit. They're such hard working and caring individuals and if it wasn't for them you'd be reading some very bad grammar and spelling. **

**The good news however is that I've already started working on Chapter 12 but I've got a very sick sister and a few orders for paintings that I have to get done. I hope to have this chapter finished by the end of the week so that I can send it off for editing.**

**It's much appreciated that you're all so patient and understanding of the delay, because for those of you who have read my other stories you've come accustomed to me updating every three days. **

**Thanks again and for those of you who are asking the husband, me and the baby are doing well. We're just about five months now and the doctors are feeling better about our pregnancy. We've got a strong little one and I'm just grateful that I've been given the chance to become a mother. Your encouraging words and thoughtful prayers for myself and my sister will never be forgotten. **

**Love to you all**

**Until next time FF… April**


	12. Chapter 12 Karma

**Chapter 12**

**Karma**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, disturbing and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers you always make my day a little brighter.**

**To my ladies and many followers on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal, encouraging and so damn helpful… I could only wish that someday I would have a chance to meet you all. **

**My beta's and good friend's Dee and Mydaughterbella… you guys are awesome. There is so much work that you two put into this story… I will never be able to thank you both enough. **

**My husband, who rocks my entire world… **

**My wonderful family and friends **

**And I'd also like to thank all of you who keep adding my messed up tail as one of your favorite stories. **

**And thanks to those who voted for MP at the avant-garde awards we didn't win, but it was a humbling experience to have been nominated. I've never been nominated in anything and I was grateful that I was even up there with such a very talented group of writers. **

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Edward's Point Of View**

Waking up with Bella wrapped up in my arms brought me serenity. There never was and never will be another feeling in the world like this, but I knew what her wishes were. If she woke up to find herself next to me –cornered against the back of the couch, she'd be mad at herself for giving into me so easily.

_Who could blame her though right –I mean I can barley control my fucking bladder when she's around. I'm like a puppy being trained by its owner._

Silently and very carefully I maneuvered my arm out from beneath her head and then picked her up –walking her to her bedroom. When I placed her down onto her bed and pulled the covers over top of her, her little lips quivered as she pouted –almost as if she was aware of my absence.

I smiled that she would prefer my arms to bring her comfort and warmth. I leaned in and kissed her softly on the forehead and was careful not to wake her. I then walked into the kitchen where, once again, I found the cupboards and fridge to be bare.

I sighed slightly before making the decision to leave the apartment for a few minutes to fetch some eggs and bread. It wasn't long before I hunted down my duffle bag, was dressed, grabbed the set of keys, and was off walking down the street.

I'd lived so close to Port Angeles and yet I'd never visited the place before. It was beautiful. Greenery was everywhere you looked yet it wasn't in the "boondocks" like Forks was. They had some quaint little stores and some high-end fashion stores as well as a Wal-Mart. I'm not snobby by any means. I just like to eat organic and I was having a hard time finding a local grocery store that was selling organic.

I was about to give up and just buy some damn eggs when I spotted a sign in a window that stated, "We sell organic." I was ecstatic! You have no idea. I went all ape shit in the middle of the street. Of course, people stared at the crazy man who looked like he'd won a million bucks.

When I walked in, I took a deep breath. I was fucking home. I knew it. I suddenly found that scenario slightly strange. I'd never in my life felt like I had a home or at least a place that I felt at home and here I was claiming this grocery store as my home… what the fuck was that all about?

I shook my head from side to side, thinking about how childish and bitch-like that thought was. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I felt giddy, spoiled and loved. It was hard not to feel like that when I had someone waiting for me like Bella. Bella had changed everything about my life –uprooted it if you will, but had done so in the most perfect way.

In the last week without her, I was going crazy. My work had fallen to the wayward side, and I no longer cared about anything –just her. I just wanted her… needed her, and my God, I loved her.

I had never been more tortured than I was this past week and now here I was standing in an organic grocery store eyeing up strawberries and thinking of Bella with the biggest smile on my goofy fucking face.

I had never been told that I was worth loving. I'd always just been reminded of how good looking I was. As shallow as it seems, I just always knew that I was, but never once did women just like me for me. I mean, sure they liked my money, my company, my clothes, my hair, my features… hell they even liked what I could do to them in bed, but never once did they ask what I liked or what my interests were. They never even asked when my birthday was or how old I was. It was like they didn't give two shits. All they saw was beauty, money and a large cock. I could've been a serial killer, but they didn't take two damn seconds to ask.

Bella was the total opposite of that. She never cared about my money or my company. In fact, she was completely uncomfortable with any of it. She loved my looks and the sex that I provided, of course, but the difference was that I loved it too. The others served a general purpose… to satisfy my needs, but they never satisfied my heart. I was never with dogs, of course, but their beauty could never compare with that of Bella's. She never had to wear make-up to cover up her imperfections or tight revealing clothes to show that she had the most appealing physique. Jacob made her wear that stuff, of course, and this I never understood. He was so jealous of her; a complete maniac. How could he even breathe watching as men ogled her and yelled out their cat calls? I bet he got a cheap fucking thrill out of it. In my head, their relationship was one of master and animal. She wasn't even his pet; she was nothing more than a dog that he set up in a ring to fight other dogs for money. He was a sick fuck, or perhaps I am for thinking this way. I don't know?

"Edward… Edward Cullen, I thought that was you. How've you been?"

I shook my head from all my inner demons and looked around to spot a tall attractive blond standing to the left of me.

"Mm…" I cleared my throat. "Sorry about that Miss…" I let that hang out there for a few seconds. "I was lost in thought. Please excuse my rude behavior."

She smiled and nodded as her eyes closed slightly.

"You've hardly forgotten who I am, Edward?" She huffed placing her hands onto her hips as I grabbed for the strawberries.

"I'm sorry, please excuse my ignorance. A beautiful woman such as yourself? I'm sure if I'd known you I would've never forgotten a face like that." I smiled. I was such a smooth motherfucker.

"Well, to be fair, Mr. Cullen, it's been a few years and I've shed a few pounds so I forgive you." She smiled up at me while I grabbed a cartoon of eggs and a loaf of French bread.

"So, are you going to tell me your name or perhaps you're going to follow me around the store and back to my apartment?" I chuckled.

"You're still the flirtatious guy I remember back in college." She hinted, but I still had no damn idea who this woman was.

"Edward, come on you still don't remember me?"

"No. I'm sorry and I'm in a bit of a hurry." I placed the ingredients for Bella's homemade French toast in the basket.

"It's Emily… Emily Young. It's back to Young. I'm just getting out of a very messy divorce." She bent her head down in shame as a smile rose on my face.

I practically knocked the poor damn woman over where she stood. "Oh, my God, Em… you look amazing! How the hell have you been?" I said with excitement as I held her close.

"I'm doing well Edward. I just moved here from Seattle. I'm starting over. Do you like the new me?" she asked then did a little spin in place, giggling.

"Divorce looks good on you." We both smiled.

"Well, I caught the bastard cheating on me so I decided that I was going to pay him back; and wouldn't you know… the moment I lost the fucking weight, he was back at my doorstep begging to come home. He's an asshole. Enough about me. Are you married? Kids?" She bounced her hip against mine, while I held the door open for her.

"No. I mean… I've never been married. No kids. I've met someone though. Her name is Bella and she's the first woman who's ever been able to steal my heart."

"Well, all the ladies back at school would be jealous that Mr. Cullen's heart has been finally stolen. It looks good on you, Edward. I'm happy for you." She smiled and touched the side of my face while we stood beside her car.

"Edward, I never told you this but I always wanted to. After that night, I…"

I shushed her. "You don't have to say anything. It was a long time ago and it was my pleasure." I smiled fondly at her reminiscing about the good ole days.

"No, I do. Come on, Edward. I didn't look like this back then and if it wasn't for you, I would've had one hell of a horrible experience in college. If I can be honest, that night you gave me was a moment in time that I'll cherish forever." I blushed as she pressed her hand again slightly at the side of my face.

"I can never tell you how truly special that night was and how much that night has always remained in my heart." She chuckled.

"What?" I let out a small nervous chuckle.

"I knew that we would never be more than just friends but I had this little crush on you back then. It was childish and after what we agreed upon I knew that nothing would come of it, but I still always thought about what it would be like to be Cullen's girl." She blushed.

"You were too good for me, Em, and you still are. You deserve to be with someone who loves you for you and not your looks." I smiled and reached for her face.

She blushed even harder.

"No one had ever told me that I was beautiful. You were the only one that saw past the fat, Edward, and you're still the only man that can make me feel like I'm a child. How is that fair?" She asked with a small hint of a giggle.

"How is what fair?" I asked.

"Well, you were never ready for a relationship and then I was married. Now I'm divorced, got a new look, and you're ready for a relationship, but it's with someone else. Why is it that we're never on the same page?"

"Perhaps our friendship was to remain just that." I smiled as I opened her car door.

"Edward." She rolled down the window.

"Mmhmm?"

"I hope that she treats you right. If she doesn't and you change your mind, here's my number." She handed me a small business card. I nodded not even looking at it and shoved it in my breast pocket. I watched as she drove down the street.

When she was completely out of my site, I headed back to Bella's apartment. I couldn't believe that I'd run into Em. It'd been such a long time since I'd seen her last and she looked good… too damn good.

I was sad that her marriage didn't work out and I kind of wondered what had happened to them. I didn't even know who she'd married and I felt it was too personal to ask. I think what shocked me the most was that she had this crush on me. I don't know if I would've pursued anything back then or not, but the man I am today would've hoped so. I wasn't hoping to be with her now; just that she was a good girl and from what I can remember I'd always treated her right. I was just too busy with my whores to notice that she was a decent girl. So, when I say I hoped I would've, I mean that I hope I wouldn't have been the type to turn her down because of her looks, but to be honest I probably would've.

I wish I knew what I know now. It's strange, when you're in school; all that matters is looks and popularity. When you get out into the real world looks can only take you so far and soon your looks start to fade and that popularity no longer exists. When you have to start over as an adult, you're no longer the big fish in the water but just a small little tadpole trying to climb up the corporate ladder –such a transition from school. If someone would've told me what I know now I would've prepared a hell of a lot better and cared less about popularity.

I found myself deep in thought as I walked into Bella's tiny kitchen. I hadn't even noticed that she was sitting on the couch.

"Good morning."

I peeked my head above the fridge door and smiled at her. "Good morning, love."

"Where've you been?"

"I went down to that organic grocery store and bought us some food for breakfast." I smiled and closed the fridge making my way to her.

She moved over to give me some room on the couch and I pulled her close to me.

"Bella, I have to ask… how do you see me?"

She looked at me strangely for a moment and then answered, "I see you as a caring and loving man who cared enough about me to save me from my darkness. I see a pure and descent heart that despite what I've done to it, it's still forgiving and understanding. You're a strong man, Edward, and I see more than meets the eyes with you. I see what's under your skin. When I look at you, that tough exterior that you let others see melts away and I see the real you."

I kissed her hard and tangled my hand into her hair as I deepened the kiss. Our tongues fought for dominance. She pulled back breathless.

"What's this all about?" she asked.

"You didn't say that you see a good looking man or a man with money a man who runs his own business. You see the real me. The man that loves you more then anything in this world," I whispered in her ear.

"Wow that must have been some walk." She smiled and headed into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, you bought the food so I can at least cook it." She shuddered at the thought.

"Bella, I bought ingredients to make homemade French toast. I'll help you." We both smiled.

"So, tell me…" She cracked an egg into the bowl. "What brought this all on?"

"I ran into an old friend from college and we got to talking about looks, love and life and I realized just how different you are. You didn't see me like that… at least I hoped you didn't. Now you've answered my question." I smiled and wrapped her in my arms.

She giggled when I pressed my erection into her backside.

"So, this college friend? Does he have a name?"

"Emily."

"It's a woman? Your friend is a woman?" She looked a little taken back by this and I didn't understand why.

"Well, yes, Emily and I go back farther than college. She and her family lived next door to my family. We grew up together and she was my best friend. I haven't seen her since college and I didn't even know that she'd gotten married."

This news seemed to relax Bella slightly, so I told her the rest of the story.

"She just got divorced and moved here from Seattle." Bella tensed in my arms again, "It's not like that, love. She was on the bigger side and I was never interested in her that way. We were and always will be just friends."

Bella nodded again and relaxed in my arms. Bella seemed happy about me revealing Emily, and I didn't want to dampen it with telling her that Emily was smoking hot now. What would that prove? I wasn't interested in any woman who wasn't Bella anyway. Besides, I'd probably never see her again… right?

We went about our breakfast while Bella continued to tell me what her plans were regarding a job. She'd planned to start looking in the local news paper for a position. She said she didn't care if she was flipping burgers at McDonald's. All she cared about was a pay check. I cringed at the thought of her flipping burgers and taking someone's orders, but hey, if this was what she wanted then I would be there in the morning ordering Egg Mc Muffin's and having drive threw intercom sex every single morning before work.

It was strange that no matter what Bella went on about, my thoughts were going back to Emily. I wanted to keep my mind on Bella, but I was still worried about Em. She seemed really upset and I just… I just… I just wanted to help her.

"Edward, are you here with me?"

"Oh, yes, sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind." I somewhat told the truth.

"I see. Well, I think its best that I get to job searching." She sighed. I knew that sigh. She wanted me to leave. I wasn't leaving like this.

"You know you have nothing to worry about right?" I lifted her chin to look me in the eye. I love you and only you. I understand that you want to take some time for yourself to figure out your shit but don't take too long. I'm an impatient bastard." I chuckled then and kissed her lips softly.

"Thank you, Edward, for understanding." She smiled at me as I grabbed my duffle bag and headed for the front door.

"Will you go out with me tonight… for dinner?" I asked as she blushed.

"Like on a date?"

"Well, yes… I guess."

"Alright, what time?"

"Is six o'clock alright?"

"Sure. What do I wear?"

"Oh, I'll send something over." I smirked and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Do you buy dresses for all your dates?" she asked.

I kissed her nose, her forehead then her lips. "Only the special ones." I smirked which landed me a backhander across the chest.

I chuckled as she glared at me and I told her to be ready by six. She smiled at me and I knew she'd be late on purpose.

**Bella's Point Of View**

Edward and I went on three dates that week. At each one, he mentioned that Emily bitch. I knew I shouldn't hate a woman that I didn't even know but I couldn't shake the fact that she was up to no good. She was trying to steal my man. I just knew it. The obvious bond that they shared only fueled my jealousy.

Thursday was the last time that I'd heard from Edward and we got into a huge argument about that woman. He told me that I was being ridiculous and that I needed to grow the hell up. I was beyond angry and found it strange that he wouldn't agree to let me meet her. What was he hiding?

I knew what was going on. I'd been through this enough times with Jacob. I was always his second. His whores came first and I'd be fucked if I was going to go down that road again. This was supposed to be a time for Bella; for me to get my shit together. I wasn't about to go dawn the same damn road again.

I knew it was fucked for me to think this way because Edward had been nothing but faithful and kind to me. Until now, he'd given me no reason to second guess his actions but something just didn't sit right with me. Call it "a woman's intuition." I don't know; but I could almost taste the truth.

I'd been feeling rather sick lately, but shrugged it off that I was just stressed out about the whole Emily situation. It was when I was a week late that I panicked and called Rose. I needed my best friend to hold my hand through it all. She showed up no more than an hour after I called. When she finally showed up with a brown paper bag in her hand, she looked just as scared as I did.

Rose stood in the bathroom with me and read the instructions to the pregnancy test. I was scared shitless. This was all I needed right now with everything else that was going on. Bringing a baby into the world was the last thing on my fucking mind. Oddly enough though, it was the most important thought I had now.

"Alright, it says to piss on the white fabric part under the cap for three seconds; no more or it's too much. Then wait three minutes to find out the results. If you're pregnant a little plus sign will appear. I bought another one just in case. This one show's two lines if you're pregnant." Rose said.

I nodded and took the cap off and counted: one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. I then replaced the cap and handed it back to her. We both sat there frantic for a minute and then Rose glance down and back at me. Her eyes were bulging out of her head.

"What? What is it?" I panicked as she picked up the little stick.

"It's positive." She eyed me holding the thing up in the air.

"Fuck off! Stop fucking with me! It's only been a minute! It's too soon!" I stammered.

"Maybe it's a dud. Let's try the other one," she suggested as we both ripped open the box and I ran back to the toilet.

"One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, three Mississippi."

After a minute Rose glanced back down and there were two lines. I grabbed the box. Two lines you're pregnant. One line you're not.

"What the fuck do I do now?" I sobbed.

"You tell Edward."

"That's the thing, Rose." I cried into her shoulder. "I don't know if it's Edward's. I slept with Jake, remember?" Rose was now crying with me running her hands through my hair in a soothing motion.

"You lie, Bella. You tell Edward that it's his and that's that." I shook my head back and forth.

"I know that I'll lose him. Hell, I'm about to lose him to that Emily anyway. It doesn't matter how much I want to hang onto him, Rose, I can't. I just can't lie to him like that… to Edward… to Jake."

"Jake's an asshole, Bella. Do you really want him raising a child with you?" she asked.

"If he's the father, Rose, he's the father. I can't change that. Oh, God! I wish I could!" I cried harder.

"Maybe Edward won't care." She shrugged.

"Pft, he's going to fucking hate me."

"When will you tell him?"

"He's coming here tomorrow. He said he's got a late night tonight." I shrugged.

"That's funny. He has a reservation at five for dinner for two at Lorenzo's. I just assumed that you were going to dinner together." She eyed me as I stood up from my bathroom floor.

"Take me there, Rose. Take me there now!" I grinded my teeth.

"Oh fuck, Bella. What if you see something you wish you hadn't seen?"

"I need to see for myself." She nodded and we headed out. We were soon speeding down the highway headed for Seattle.

"If he's been fucking her… I'll ring his fucking neck!" I screamed at the soft top on her Jeep.

"Calm the fuck down. It's not good for the baby!" she scolded.

"I don't even know if I'm going to keep the fucking thing!" I yelled back.

"You don't mean that, Bella." Rose eyed me.

"Why should I bring a baby into this world like this, huh? You tell me? What sort of life will this child have? I won't let Jacob hurt it like he did me."

"You're so quick to assume that it's Jakes. What if it's Edward's?"

I just stared at her while tears streamed down my face. How the hell could I get myself into this sort of predicament? Wasn't my life fucked up enough? I guess fucking not!

When we pulled up beside Lorenzo's, I suddenly felt sick. Quickly, I opened the door to throw up nothing but bile. My throat burned as I thought about what I was about to witness in that restaurant. Was I ready to deal with this shit? Was I ready to send him packing into the arms of another woman or was I going to suck it up like I did with Jake so many times before?

Rose and I walked over to the window and I immediately noticed Edward sitting across from a very attractive blond. He lied to me. She wasn't fat at all. He looked saddened by something, but standing outside didn't help me hear what they were talking about. I needed to get the fuck inside.

The greeter stopped me in my tracks and asked if I had a reservation. I nodded while Rose looked over the list. "Sorry, Sir, we're the reservation for James. Party of two." She smiled her beautiful dimpled smile at him and he ushered us in right away.

We sat on the other side of the restaurant a partition hid us from Edward and Emily. I needed to get closer without being seen. Rose nodded when I told her that I was going to the ladies room. The bitch knew what the hell I was up to and she was awesome to support my craziness. I ended up right beside the thin wall standing with my back against it and listened in on their conversation from below.

"Listen, Emily what happened between us can't happen again. I love Bella and that's where my heart lies. I can't go on like this anymore. Yes, we have our problems but she's owns my heart."

"But you said that you loved me. How could you say that shit to me and not mean it?"

"I do love you, but I don't love you like that."

"So you just used me because you were bored with your little slut!"

"Shh, will you please keep your voice down. I'm not bored with Bella and she's far from a slut. What happened was a mistake and one in which I can't take back. That's it… from here on out I don't want any more to do with you. Do you understand me?"

"But, Edward, I love you." She cried.

"But I don't' love you." He growled back under his breath and it was all I could take.

I walked down the small little walkway and down five steps to watch her gasp and him turn around. His eyes were like a fucking deer caught in head lights.

"So this is where you've been. This is what you've been lying about? How could you Edward? You haven't changed at all. You're still the selfish asshole that you've always been. I've done some rotten things in my life… including sleeping with Jake while we were together… is this my pay back for that? Well is it?" I screamed gaining the attention of on lookers.

"Bella, I was going to tell you. Please give me the chance to explain."

His eyes held tears, but to me they were fake. I'd never in my life hated and loved a man so much that I wanted to kill him right where he stood. I now understood how women go crazed when they catch their men with their lovers and end up in prison for killing the bastard.

"You don't deserve the chance to explain. You can have little Miss Emily there." I smiled at her as she smiled back. "I'm done! I can't do this anymore. All we do is hurt each other and I can't do this little song and dance anymore with you."

"Please, love, give me the chance to explain everything."

"The difference between you and I Edward is that I did it once and I told you the truth right away giving you the option to leave me. You chose to stay. You've been lying to me for days… weeks… months. I don't fucking know. I can't do this anymore." I teared but I wasn't giving him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Not here. Not fucking ever.

I turned for the stairs only for Edward to tug at my arms and turn me around to face him, "Please, Bella, don't leave me. Let me explain," he begged.

I took two steps and turned to face him. "Did you sleep with her?"

He looked at the ground and I had my answer. My heart broke and sank deep beneath my own skin, threatening never to return again.

"You're unfucking believable!" I huffed and stormed the rest of the stairs to be greeted by Rose who was staring back at Edward.

"You want me to fuck him up?" Rose whispered in my ear.

"No, I want you to get me the fuck out of here, before I break down in front of everyone." She nodded and wrapped her arms around my shoulders while I looked back at Edward who was staring up at me.

I will never forget the look of regret, sadness and heartache on his face nor will I forget the satisfaction that his pain brought me at that moment. If I could rip my own heart out and give it to him I would have because I was sure that I would never love another the way that loved him, nor did I want to.

After Rose dropped me off, she offered to stay the night, but I wanted her to leave. I just couldn't stand the thought of having a pity party with her. This party consisted of just one, me. After about an hour, I'd finally talked her into leaving. She was reluctant but like the good friend she was respected my wishes.

My phone had been ringing off the wall all damn night. Sometime around one in the morning, I guess the bastard finally just gave the fuck up. I cried until I had no more tears to cry and made the decision that I was better off being the hard bitch that I was before Edward. At least I wasn't open to get hurt mentally. I would rather take five hundred beatings from Jake than feel the heart ache that I was going through over Edward.

I guess it's true what they say about karma… she sure is a bitch.

I spent the rest of the week avoiding the flowers that arrived at my doorstep, the phone calls, text messages, and the knocking in the middle of the night. It was tonight that I just couldn't take it anymore.

Edward showed up just past midnight. He was banging and crying on the other side of my door. He sounded like he was half cut and it wasn't like Edward to get himself this intoxicated. He banged, swore, hurt himself and then I heard him fall back and land on his ass. I looked out the peep hole to see if he was alright and he seemed to have passed the fuck out.

I couldn't leave him out there like that… not in this neighborhood. Someone would rob his ass.

I drug his ass back into my apartment and left him lying on the floor. His ass was way too heavy for me to pick up and place on the couch. I threw a blanket over him and he was lucky to have received that much hospitality from me.

When I woke the next morning, he was still out cold. I made a pot of coffee and stood in the kitchen doorway looking down at him with my coffee in hand. When he still wasn't stirring, I kicked him softly in the ribs and told him to get the fuck up.

"Oh…" he groaned holding onto his head.

"Here." I gave him my cup of coffee and went to the kitchen to get myself another. When I turned around, he was shadowing me. Awkwardly, I maneuvered myself around him and headed for the living room. "Now that you're up and you're alive, there's the door." I pointed.

"Bella, please let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain." I shrugged. "I'm fine and you need to get to work."

"Listen, this is just like the time when you jumped to conclusions with my mother." He shouted, which pissed me off farther.

"How is this just like your mother, Edward? You fucked someone else and lied about it!" I screamed back.

"I only lied to protect you," he whispered.

"To protect me? Now who's got mental issues?" I tapped at my temple. "Listen, I'll make this very simple for you. There's the door. Just walk the fuck out and don't look back."

"You don't understand, Bella."

"Oh, I understand just fine!" I pushed his chest with everything I had but the bastard didn't budge.

"Yes, alright, I slept with Emily, but it was back in college. I haven't slept with her since. I've been seeing her off and on for a week or so but not in the way you think. She's depressed and my helpfulness made her think that I was interested in her. I tried to make her understand that we were just friends but she just doesn't see me that way." He yelled then took a deep breath and looked at me.

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Bella, I went to her to try and help her. We ended up talking and I started to have some feelings for her… not like the ones I share with you… different. I can't explain it to you. All I can say is that we were having these problems… and I couldn't deal with not seeing you. What started out as just something to kill the time spent away from you went from innocent and harmless to almost something more."

"Yeah? How much more? Like fucking maybe?" I crossed my arms wishing that I could close my fucking eyes and he'd be gone.

"No. I guess it was just that she understood what I was going through and she was a good person to talk to. Our communication brought on feelings and they scared the hell out of me. Do you want to hear the rest?" He asked as I nodded. I knew that it was going to be hard to hear but I needed to know.

"We kissed one night. That was it. Our conversation got overly heated and I poured my heart out to her about how much I just wanted to be with you, and we kissed. After the kiss, I told her that I couldn't do that anymore, and she told me that I loved her. I agreed but I didn't love her the way I love you. I didn't mean it like that. I loved her like a friend a best friend. It was a mistake. After the words came out of my mouth I couldn't take them back. For days now, she's held onto hope that we'll be together and for days I kept quiet, afraid that she would do something to herself if I said otherwise."

"Pft, don't fucking flatter yourself Edward. You're not that fucking good." I stomped my foot like a fucking bull ready to attack him and his bitch.

"She's very depressed, love."

"Stop fucking calling me that! You don't have the right to call me 'love!'" I screamed.

"I don't know what to believe but I sure as hell don't want you here. Get the fuck out!"

"Bella, I fucked up, but when you fucked up I forgave you. Please, baby?"

"I don't know if I can." I teared a little watching the agony on his face.

"Bella, please, I slept with her in college because she was the same way back then; always crying that no one wanted her… that she was a nobody. I gave her one night where she felt like a somebody and after that she became popular despite her looks."

"She doesn't seem like she's lacking in the looks department. In fact, she doesn't even look fat to me." I hissed through my now clenched teeth.

"She lost the weight to get back at her ex-husband."

"Yeah, likely story," I mumbled.

"It's the truth."

"Truth, how dare you speak about truth to me?"

"Please, Bella, I beg you. Don't give up on us." He threw my own words back in my face.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I can't take this anymore. I've been through far too much with Jacob to go through this with you now. I can't."

"I understand. I'll never stop believing that you'll forgive me and I can make this up to you. My life will never be complete unless you're a part of it." He softly whispered while his arm reached out and his hand softly grazed the side of my face.

"I'll always be waiting for you," he whispered as his hand left my face.

I opened my eyes to watch him open my front door and turn slightly over his shoulder to look at me. "I love you, Bella, and I always will." Just like that, he walked right out the door and I feel to the floor. Tears were streaming down my face as I crossed my torso and desperately tried to hold back the emptiness I felt in my stomach.

"It's alright baby. We can do this on our own. We can do this. We can" I tried to reassure myself, but no matter what I tried to tell myself, I knew that the best man who'd ever walked into my life could no longer be a part of my life.

There was a knock at the door. I jumped from my spot in excitement, praying to God that Edward came back. I knew how stupid I sounded and I knew that nothing would change, but I still loved him and I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me in his arms. I had to be strong.

I squared my shoulders, wiped my tears and opened the door only to see Jacob standing on the other side of my door. I closed the door slightly and wished that I hadn't opened it at all.

"Sorry Jake, this isn't a good time." I eyed him.

"Well, I brought these." He waved the divorce papers in front of his face. "Perhaps they'll bring you some happiness." His eyebrows lifted.

"How did you find out where I live?"

"The divorce papers have your address."

"So you felt the need to come down here? What about the restraining order, Jake?"

"I figured we signed on together to be married… we might as well sign the divorce papers together." He shrugged and I let him in.

I offered him some coffee but he refused.

"Nice place you've got here." He looked around.

"Thanks… the papers?" I pointed to them as he nodded and placed them down on the kitchen counter.

"Izzy, we've been friends for a long time and regardless of this divorce, I would still like to remain a part of each other's lives." He smiled softly.

"Jake, I'm going to be honest when I say that our history is just that. I need to start a new and that means without you or Edward."

"Ah, I see. So there's still turmoil in lover's paradise."

"That's none of your business." I sighed and signed the paper. "There. Now you just have to sign." He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.

"Why am I resigning the divorce papers? I mean… I already signed a copy and sent them to the lawyers?" I questioned as I watched him pace back and forth in the kitchen.

"I just had to fucking see it to believe it! You think you're going to just sign your fucking name and I'll just disappear like that? Poof and no more Jake?" He snapped his fingers and spoke in a menacing tone as he stalked towards me.

"Jake, you knew what I wanted. You've known for a long time now. I thought you wanted to be friends? Remain in each other's lives? If you do this there's no turning back." I stated more afraid of the man than I'd ever been.

"You're afraid of me… I can see it in your eyes." He smiled.

"Is that what you want Jacob… for me to fear you?" I hissed back.

"You're nothing but a whore, Bella, but you're my whore and you're coming with me." He reached out and before I had a chance to react, his hand found its way to my hair –tangling around it.

My head hurt from his tugging and without a second thought I grabbed the butcher knife off of the kitchen counter. Jake let go of me quickly then let out a chuckle.

"Jacob, I'm warning you don't come any closer." I waved the knife about like it was my life line.

Jacob didn't heed my warning and stalked closer to me with a sinister smile spread across his face.

"Jake, where is the boy that I once knew? Where did he go?" I cried as he took a few more steps towards me.

"He died a long time ago, Izzy." He hissed back and lunged for me, knocking me down to the ground. He landed on top of me.

The knife slid across the tile floor of the kitchen. I stared at it while Jake continued to choke me with both hands. My fingers danced and reached across the tiled floor until they connected with the handle of the knife.

"Any last words?" He asked me.

"Yeah, go fuck yourself." I chocked out.

When the knife came up, Jake let go of my neck to defend himself. His hand got in my way and the knife sliced though his hand. He screamed and rolled off of me but not before he backhanded me with his right. I held my face while he called me every name in the book but a woman. I drug my ass up and ran slipping through the blood on my floor. I hadn't made it far when I felt the blade of the knife at my throat.

This was just like my nightmare but it wasn't. It was real.

"Jake, please… I'm pregnant!" I screamed and fell to the floor.

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**I know that you're all screaming at me right now and I hate to leave cliff's but in this chapter I've already reached 18 pages and If I continued it would be around 30 so I thought it was best to leave it here and pick up where I left off for chapter 13.**

**I have started Chapter 13 and hope to have it done through the week.**

**Thanks again to all of you who continue to read and review.**

**Leave me your thoughts and let me know what you thought of the chapter. I know that some of you will hate Bella for not forgiving him because of her own actions and I know that some of you will be in her corner cheering her on… but all will be revealed shortly my friends.**

**Until next time FF… April**


	13. Chapter 13 Crumbling walls

**Chapter 13**

**Crumbling walls**

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**A/N: Warning, Vulgar language, disturbing and repulsive behavior. **

**S.M owns all things Twilight.**

**If you or someone you know is going through DV please check out this website http: / www. thehotline. org / (remove the spaces) or type in National Domestic Violence Hotline.**

**Special thanks to: **

**All of my readers/reviewers you always make my day a little brighter.**

**To my ladies and many followers on Twitter, you guys are phenomenal, encouraging and so damn helpful… I could only wish that someday I would have a chance to meet you all. **

**My beta's and good friend's Dee and Mydaughterbella… you guys are awesome. There is so much work that you two put into this story… I will never be able to thank you both enough. **

**My husband, who rocks my entire world… **

**My wonderful family and friends **

***Remember I started this chapter where we left off in Chapter 12. Bella had fallen to the floor after stabbing Jake through the hand. She told Jake that she was pregnant and I left you all hanging. I tried not to leave this chapter too long because I myself hate to leave cliff hangers. I hope that you all enjoy.***

**That's it… on with it… Happy reading… April**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

"Jake, please… I'm pregnant!" I screamed and fell to the floor.

I flipped over onto my back, pulling myself across the floor, while I looked up at his shocked face. He held his bloody hand to his chest while his eyes filled with tears. His face held shock and happiness, but to me it was nothing more then a man who tried to kill me and my baby.

I continued to make my way across the living room floor in an attempt to reach my cell phone resting on the end table. I had made it to the back of the couch when he snapped out of whatever the hell was going on in his fucked up mind and ran to me –grabbing the cell and tossed it at the wall.

The moment I witnessed my cell phone crashing into a million fucking pieces I started to cry –knowing damn well that it represented my life right now –nothing but shattered and broken fucking pieces. When I turned back to look at Jake, he was hovering over me, staring deeply into my eyes.

"Is it mine?" He asked.

"I don't know."

He stood up quickly. His hands were in tight fists and a growl escaped his lips.

"How could you fucking do this to me? Haven't you fucked up my head enough?" He screamed –punching himself in the head with his own fists.

I cringed slightly and shook as each of his words became louder and full of hatred.

I pleaded for him to leave, only for him hover over me again. "Jake, I've fucked up myself. Please, I beg you, for the baby's sake, let me go; just leave."

"How far along are you?"

I stared at him hoping like hell that he'd just leave. "I don't know Jake. I just found out."

"When was your last period?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? How the fuck can you not know?" He screamed again forcing me to sit up this time. My back hit the back of the couch.

"Things have been fucked with Edward and me alright!" I said. "I've been stressed the fuck out and my period is the last fucking thing on my mind right now. Now get the fuck out!"

"You fucking slut! You fucking whore!" He seethed, leaning in.

The moment his hands found my throat again, I fought with everything I had in me. I kicked and squirmed, trying to free myself, but even with his busted up hand I was no fucking match for him.

It wasn't long after the first connection with his hands that I started to drown out his words. The light that was once there in my eyes started to gloss over and turned to nothing more than shadows.

I began gasping for air when I saw Rosalie run from my front door and jump on Jake's back. I was useless to her. I saw him swing her around on his back like a fucking rag doll. I tried to get up several times but the lack of oxygen kept me sitting in my spot. I took a few deep breaths and tried to refill my lungs.

When all consciousness had finally come back to me, Jake had his hand wrapped in Rose's hair, trying to pull her over his shoulder. I used the back of the couch to steady myself and with hardly any strength at all I managed to stand on my own two god damn feet.

With one swift move, Jake flipped Rose over his shoulder and she landed flat on her back.

"That's what you get bitch for sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong!" He kicked at her.

Rose wasn't moving and I feared the worse. The image of Rose –my best friend lying there unmoving and not answering made me see red. I'd had enough of fucking men –of Jake, Edward, Charlie… I'd had enough of them all.

A deadly screeching scream escaped my lungs, and I was no longer Izzy, Love, Bells. I was Bella a woman scorn and out for revenge. I'd become a beast with nothing left to lose.

When our bodies collided, we feel to the floor with me on top of Jake. I started to hit him with everything I had and nothing and I mean nothing was going to stop me from beating the shit out of him. I took every last bit of aggression out on that motherfucker. I beat on him until my knuckles bled and then beat his ass some more. I knew that if I stopped and I gave him one god damn inch that it would be me underneath him and there was no fucking way I was going to let that happen.

"You fucking asshole!" I screamed over and over again as tears streamed steadily down my face.

I hit that bastard until all the wind had left my sails. My strong hits had become slaps and then just soft swings when I felt two hands grip my shoulders softly.

"I'm just about done Rose." I panted and stood only to kick his unmoving body a few times in the side.

When I could no longer control the sobs, I turned around into her waiting arms and cried my eyes out.

"It's alright, Love. I'm here now."

I looked up from my comforting arms to see that it wasn't Rosalie at all. It was Edward. I pulled back from him, stunned. I closed my fist and hit him with everything I had left in me.

His head tilted off to the right from my blow and when his face come back to meet mine, his thumb gracefully swept the blood off his bottom lip.

"It's good to know that you can look after yourself." He eyed the blood on his thumb and licked his bottom lip.

I didn't have time to argue with him, I needed to attend to my friend. I ran to her side, tilted my ear to her mouth, and realized that she wasn't fucking breathing.

"She's not breathing!" I screamed to Edward as tears rolled down my cheeks.

Edward rushed to Rose's side, tilted her chin upwards, and told me to blow three strong breaths as he pumped her chest with his hands. When she finally took a breath, he told me to call 911.

"Jake broke my cell!" I franticly screamed out.

Which in turn he calmly instructed, "Mine is in my back pocket."

After I was done making the call, all that was left to do was to wait. Rose was breathing but she was still unconscious when the ambulance arrived.

"Well, Mr. Cullen, you should be very proud of yourself. It's because of you that your friend is still alive," The paramedic said.

They took Jake too and told me that they had to call the police and not to go anywhere. I agreed but I didn't want to stay. I wanted to be with Rose. I owed her everything.

Edward smiled and pulled me in under his arm, "She'll be okay, Love. The moment the police are done with you we'll go down and see her okay?"

It was maybe a half hour or so when the police showed up. I couldn't say much, but I listened intently to Edward.

"When I arrived, Bella had her back against the couch. Rosalie was unconscious on the floor, and Jake was standing over her. Jake started to kick Rose and before I could intervene Bella had tackled Jacob to the floor."

"You didn't feel the need to stop it?" The officer asked Edward.

"No Sir. If I can be so bold as to say that I'm well aware of the physical abuse that Mr. Black has put on Mrs. Black. I felt after all these years she should get her swing in so to speak."

"But still, we'll have to arrest and charge Mrs. Black for assault and if Mr. Black dies she will be charged with murder."

Edward smiled. "I hardly think that's a reasonable accusation, Sir. Her father happens to be the Chief of police in Forks and I know for a fact that Mrs. Black has a restraining order out on her abusive husband because of a previous attack. He put her in the hospital just months ago. I'd hardly say that you have a case. This situation won't hold up in a court of law. You and I both know that, Sir. She'll get a slap on the wrist; self defense at best."

I was standing there impressed with his quick tongue. I wasn't afraid not even when they told me that I might go to jail for murder. With Edward there I felt safe. He always made me feel safe.

The Officer addressed me, "I wasn't aware of the past history. Is this true, Mrs. Black?"

"Please, call me Bella. I'm in the middle of a divorce with my ex-husband. That's why he came here today; to get me to sign the papers. He got angry and then the next thing I know I'm being attacked. I grabbed the knife as he chocked me and stabbed him through his hand. Rose came in and jumped on his back in an attempt to stop him from trying to kill me. I don't know what happened I just panicked when I saw my friend out cold. I thought the worst." I cried remembering her lifeless body on the cold tile floor. Edward pulled me in tighter and kissed the top of my head.

"But did you have a restraining order out against Mr. Black?"

"Yes. You can check. It's legitimate." I nodded as they left saying something else to Edward that I couldn't hear.

When Edward closed the door and turned to me I ran right into his arms. I was glad that he was here even after everything that had went on between us. I just needed his comfort.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to confuse you." I sobbed.

He lifted my face to look at me. "You needed me. Never be sorry for that," he whispered, looking me directly in the eye. I buried my head back into his chest.

His arms were hesitant for a few seconds and then wrapped around me tightly. His head rested softly on the top of mine. If I could, I would never leave his arms, but even I knew that it wasn't right. When I pulled away, he didn't protest, but I could see the pained expression of emptiness on his face. I'd felt it too.

"Can you take me to see Rose now?" I asked.

He smiled and handed me my coat.

I stopped him on the stairs. "Edward, I just wanted to say thanks for saving Rose's life."

He smiled and walked back up two steps. He took my hand in his. "I did what anyone would do, Love, and she's my friend too. Besides where the hell would I find another secretary as good as her?" He laughed it off, but I knew the truth. He was unbelievably perfect.

When we pulled into the parking lot at the hospital, it was packed. There were reporters everywhere wanting to get a statement from Edward as to what happened. The reporters were like fucking sharks. They scared me more then what had just taken place at my apartment.

"Listen, Love, I need you to stay close to me. Don't answer any questions and just keep your eyes on the door." I nodded. He got out and come around to my side of the car to let me out.

The moment my feet touched the pavement, flashes of light started going off. It was blinding the hell out of me. Edward tucked me in under his arms and led the way to the hospital. Once inside the hospital, the chaos wasn't only outside it seemed. Doctors, nurses, interns, hell, people were running all over the damn place. Edward managed to ask a lady if she could give us any information on Rose. The lady smiled and told Edward that she was in intensive care.

Edward led the way once again and once again I reveled in the smell, warmth and comfort that was… Edward Cullen. When we made it to her room, we could see her through the windows only. She was still unconscious with tubes up her nose and many, many machines beeping and buzzing. The doctors wouldn't allow us to go in but they did inform us that they contacted her husband. I felt like a complete ass. What kind of friend was I? I'd forgotten to call Emmett and let him know that his wife was in the fucking hospital. Edward reassured me that Emmett would understand given the circumstances of the situation, but I knew Emmett, he'd blame me.

Edward kept asking me if I wanted to leave, and I told him "no." I didn't want to leave until Emmett had arrived and I could explain things to him. I needed to tell him that I was sorry for everything that I had done.

When Emmett showed up, I left Edward's arms and ran into Emmett's arms. He stood there shocked asking me over and over again what happened, where was his wife, how bad was it, who did this to her. I couldn't answer him due to the sobs that took over my now shaking body. I felt like I was hyperventilating.

"Edward, tell me what the fuck happened. Someone in this fucking hospital better tell me right fucking now! Where's my wife! Where's my wife?" He screamed and I shook then fell to my knees. All I could do was point to the right of myself were her unresponsive body lied.

Emmett ran to the window and pushed open the door. The doctors and nurses weren't far behind him. The door was opened so we could hear their conversation.

The doctor said, "Mr. Hale, You're wife is in critical condition. She's bleeding internally and has lost a lot of blood. We had to give her a blood transfusion. She has several broken bones which include her right leg, left arm, three ribs on her right side and a fractured tail bone."

"What happened?" Emmett asked.

"I'm unaware at this time about the situation that occurred to place your wife in such a critical state, but I do know that Mr. Cullen saved her life by giving her CPR. If he wouldn't have been there, she wouldn't be alive." Emmett shared a brief glance with Edward.

"Why is she still unconscious?"

"She's got some head trauma and we have a machine helping her with her breathing. Her right lung has been punctured from one of her broken ribs."

"Will she come out of this fine? I mean her head and all?" Em asked.

"It's hard to tell, Mr. Hale, but prayers would be good right now."

Emmett fell to Rose's bedside and cried like I've never seen a man cry before in my life. I couldn't for the life of me stand there and watch his breakdown. Edward cried with me and pulled me into the waiting room where he continued to hold me until Emmett came in.

The moment Emmett entered; I stood on my shaky legs.

"How is she?" I asked while Edward held me upright.

"Not good. What happened, Izzy, tell me please… I need to know."

"Jacob showed up at my place and was choking me. Rose walked in on it and stopped him from hurting me farther. Jake turned on Rose, Em. He did this to her. I couldn't get to her fast enough." I cried.

"Where is Jake now?" Emmett growled.

"He's here in the hospital somewhere?"

"Why is that mother fucker here? He's got some fucking nerve showing his face around here!"

"You misunderstood," Edward chimed in. "Jake isn't here to see Rose. He's been admitted into the hospital."

"Why?"

"I beat the shit out of him," I shamefully admitted.

"Well, I guess I owe you both my thanks. Thank you both for saving my wife." Emmett shocked me and shook Edward's hand then pulled me into one of his massive bear hugs.

I whispered, "Please, Emmett, don't thank me. It's because of me that she's in here."

"Izzy, you and I both know that Rose would do anything for someone she loved, and if it wasn't for the two of you then I'd be viewing her body at a morgue. You've both saved my heroic wife, and for that I will forever be grateful. As far as Jacob is concerned, he better pray that hell takes him because if it doesn't and he survives this, he'll see hell when I'm done with his fucking ass!" he said. "Now, go home. I'll call if anything changes."

I didn't want to go and argued the best I could with him, but he insisted that I'd been through enough for one day and that I could come back tomorrow. His words stung a little when he said that Rose wasn't going anywhere. I knew that he didn't mean those words towards me but I couldn't help but feel responsible for her condition.

Edward took me home and that became all kinds of awkward. He didn't know if he should stay and I didn't know how to tell him that I needed him to stay. In the end, he just sat on the couch until he'd fallen asleep. I stood in kitchen and watched him sleep. I wondered where the hell we'd went wrong. Things were never perfect between us, but I believed that someday we'd get there…wherever the hell there was. It was strange that I loved this man with my very being, but all I could see was Emily kissing his perfect lips. He was right. He'd forgiven me, but the question was could I do the same?

This whole moving out on my own and standing on my own two feet was so I could better myself for him. Obviously, that didn't work. All it did was push this wedge between us. I hated that we were on opposite sides of the world yet so close I could smell his Edward scent. I thought we were over, yet here we are, fucked up as ever.

We jumped when someone started to knock franticly on my door. I placed my coffee down on the counter and ran to the door. When I opened it, I was shocked to see Alice.

"What the fuck, Bella!" She screamed and pushed herself into my apartment.

"You're so fucking busy fucking another man that you didn't even pick up your fucking phone!"

Edward stood on his feet. "Now, wait a minute, Alice, you don't know what's going on here."

"Oh, I know exactly what's going on here. You're my brother's next of kin, Bella, and when they couldn't get a hold of you, they called me. Someone kicked the living shit out of him and they're not sure if he'll make it through the fucking night! But pardon me for interrupting your fuck fest!"

"Alice, Jake broke my phone a few hours ago. I don't have a phone. I'm well aware that Jake is in the hospital. So is your friend, Rose, if you even fucking care!"

"You did this to my fucking brother didn't you? I'll fucking charge you! I'll make sure your ass goes to jail! What the fuck did you hit him with a two by four?" She lunged at Edward.

Her small frame didn't do much. Edward let her repeatedly beat his chest with her fists, but I wasn't about to sit there and let that happen. I grabbed her arms and pulled her off of Edward before I spoke to her.

"I hit Jake! No one else, just me, and I hit him with my fists –nothing more. He was choking me. Rose tried to stop him from killing me and Jake beat her. She's also fighting for her life!"

"He only hit you because you keep hurting him. You keep fucking with his head, Izzy. You want him then you don't. Make up your fucking mind."

"What are you talking about? I told Jake after we had sex that night that it was a mistake and that I didn't want him anymore. I ended up in the hospital over that remember? Today he came here for me to sign the divorce papers."

"That's not true. He told me that you were at his house last week begging for him to take you back and he did because he loves you so much."

"That's a lie, Alice. I haven't seen Jake in months. You can ask Rose if she makes it out of the hospital."

"No, my brother wouldn't do that. He wouldn't!"

"Alice, even when I told him that I was pregnant and I wasn't sure if it was his or not… even then he didn't stop. He wanted me dead. I saw it in his eyes."

Alice pulled back from me with a shocked expression on her face. I'd let the cat out of the bag.

**Edward's Point Of View**

I needed to see Bella. I needed to make things right with her. I'd fucked up. I knew it. I'd made her a promise that I would never hurt her the way Jake had and I did. I knew that I hadn't slept with Emily, but I had developed feelings for her and that in itself made me feel ashamed. What I wasn't expecting was the scene that unfolded before me the moment I reached the opened door.

I watched as my Bella had lost all sense of herself in her swings. She was taking out all her frustrations and as much as I knew I needed to stop her, I couldn't. Bella's blows weren't what knocked Jacob out. It was the fact that he hit his head off of the kitchen counter before he hit the floor.

Watching as she hit him, as she cried… I died a little inside. I had also placed this much hurt and anger in her heart. I swore in that moment that I was going to do whatever the hell it took to make this shit up to her.

I didn't love Emily. I was lost, broken without my Bella and as much as it seemed an excuse, it was the truth. I was lonely, confused and completely beside myself. Emily had become a great friend to me and after talking with her, I found myself becoming attracted to her. We shared a kiss that one stupid night and the moment that I kissed her lips, I knew it was wrong. It just didn't feel right. I was full of guilt for the rest of the week as I tried to make her understand that I didn't love her that way but only as a friend. I tried my hardest to make her understand that I was Bella's and Bella's only, but she kept throwing in my face that I had told her I loved her.

That day in the restaurant that Bella showed up, I was relieved. I know that sounds strange but the guilt was eating me alive. Now that the truth was out, I thought we could talk about things –work it all out, but Bella was having none of it. I'd lost the best thing that had walked into my life.

I spent the weeks walking through this world a shell of a man. Ironically, I knew that if it wasn't me who did something to lose Bella, it would be my family somewhere down the line. It was when Rosalie came into the office today and told me that something was wrong with Bella, that I took an interest in life again. She told me that she needed me and that's all I heard. I left the office behind Rose and decided that I would stop off for some flowers. When I got to the shop I remembered that Bella said the only time she ever got flowers from Jake was when he was apologizing for his fuck ups. I went back to my car and decided that flowers sure as hell wasn't going to get me back in her good graces.

If I would've just followed Rose then none of this would've happened. I was so fucking stupid. I could've prevented it all. How the hell was I going to make this better for everyone?

I was glad that Jake was in the hospital and I secretly wished that he did die. I knew that it _wasn't _a proper thing to think, but it was how I felt. I wished then prayed for him to suffer first and then die. I wanted him to feel the kind of pain he had inflicted on all those women –on Bella.

When Emmett told us to go home there was this awkwardness between Bella and I and it only got worse once we arrived at her apartment. I wasn't sure if I should be there or if I should volunteer to stay the night. She wasn't saying anything so I just took a seat on her couch. Before long, I started to doze off until I heard a loud knocking at her door.

I couldn't believe that Alice would be so cold with Bella but I couldn't be mad at her. Her brother was in the hospital. In the middle of the screaming explanation, Bella mentioned that she was pregnant. I stood there dumbfounded looking at her. Her next words made me forget how to breathe. She wasn't sure who the father was. I could be the father?

_Holy Fuck!_

She never took her eyes off of Alice. It was as if she'd forgotten I was even in the room. Was she making this shit up? What the fuck? How could she keep something like that from me?

My mouth was starting to get a little dry. I ran to the kitchen to get myself some water. I couldn't find a fucking cup. "Fuck it!" I shouted and placed my parched lips over the faucet. I had to hold onto the kitchen counter to sturdy myself. I'd never wanted kids… a wife… marriage. I'd never wanted any of that shit and now here I stand not knowing whether or not I'm about to be someone's father; in nine fucking months?

I turned around and Bella was on the floor wiping up the blood. I bent down and took the rag from her hand.

"What do you think you're doing? You're pregnant go and sit down!"

"Edward, I'm hardly incapable of cleaning!"

I hollered at her, "You've been through too much already. Get your ass to the couch!"

I watched as she crossed her arms over her chest and made her way back into the living room and flopped onto the couch. I wasn't trying to be an asshole but I was pissed off. How the hell could she keep something like that from me? Maybe she was right. All we ever did was fucking hurt each other.

I cleaned up the blood and poured her a glass of orange juice and myself a cup of coffee. When I placed the orange juice in front of her, she curled up her nose.

"I want a coffee too."

"You're pregnant. No more coffee." I scolded placing the cup of juice into her hand.

"Edward, I _didn't_ want you to find out this way."

"When were you planning on telling me?"

"Soon, I just found out."

"How far a long are you?"

"I don't know. I _can't_ remember when I had my last period. I've had a lot going on." I nodded.

"Okay…" I shot out a breath "We need to set up a doctor's appointment for you to be sure, and to know how far a long you really are. How long has it been since you were with Jake? Do you remember?"

"No not really. I know it was more than a month ago, but I can't be sure of the actual date." She held her head in shame. "I don't think I'm going to keep it, Edward. I don't want to bring a baby into this world like this." She cried onto my shoulder.

I kissed her forehead. "Don't ever say that, Love. You're going to be a great mother regardless of who the father is. I'll always be here for you."

Her head lifted up to look at me and when she did her bottom lip was sucked in between her teeth. Her eyes were swollen and puffy and wet from the tears. Her nose was red and raw from wiping it. Her hair had come loose, sending small strands into her face. Even in her worst hours, she was beautiful to me.

"We know that you haven't been with Jake for the last month and a half at least, so if you're a few weeks then the baby is mine," I said.

"I know you don't want children, Edward. I won't burden you with it."

"What? I would never. Wait, let me start over." I was a fucking mess here. "If that baby is mine, I will raise it, and if it's not then I'll raise it like it is… if you'll let me?" Her eyes glossed over before the tears started to fall. "Anything that resembles you will be beautiful and I will love it because it's a part of you," I whispered. I felt tears of my own in the corner of my eyes.

I placed both hands on either side of her face and tilted her face to mine. Her lips trembled in pure terror of how messed up things were. In that moment, I prayed that the baby was mine for both mine and her sake. I'd never thought about being someone's father before, but if I fathered Bella's child then life would become somehow perfect.

I had a strong desire to kiss her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that everything would be alright, but I feared rejection. I softly placed her head onto my chest and rocked her back and forth like a small child instead. To my surprise, she jumped up on my lap and we fell back a little onto the couch. I let her wallow in my arms while we clutched each other.

When she finally stopped crying, her head lifted to look at me. Her eyes were red and swollen. She propped herself up on one elbow onto the back of the couch. She noticed I had gone quiet. We stared at each other for a while, and it made me a little self-conscious. After a few minutes, she looked away and ran her hands through her hair.

I continued to look her over – the creamy white of her skin, the deep chocolate of her eyes, and her dark auburn hair that flowed perfectly down her back. Laying this close to her, I couldn't help but notice the sprinkling of freckles that danced across her nose or how lush her lips looked. I let my gaze slip lower to the rest of her body that I had seen a thousand times. Today, it seemed so utterly different.

What was I doing? I knew that this wasn't what Bella wanted. She'd made her feelings known. Out of nowhere, I watched as Bella's hand reached across toward my chest. I caught her hand in mine just before she touched me. She was startled.

When she looked into my eyes, her expression was intense –almost threatening.

For a moment, I thought she was angry. Before she could ponder it farther, I yanked her to me and covered her mouth with mine in a hungry kiss. She responded immediately which surprised me. Her mouth was so warm. The caress of her lips were softer than I'd remembered. I tasted her tentatively with my tongue and Bella opened her mouth in a low moan.

Suddenly, Bella pushed away as if she'd been burned. I stared at her my lips still puckered and watched as she jumped off of the couch and started pacing back and forth with her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said in a strangled voice. "That wasn't right."

"It's okay," I said. I was afraid of seeming too disappointed. In fact, I wasn't quite sure how to react to the kiss or her sudden show of regret.

"That wasn't right," she said again.

I took Bella gently by the hand and sat her down onto my lap. She avoided looking into my eyes, and I let that shit go. I knew that she still felt something for me. I could feel it in the kiss. She put that hot fire of desire that had been in my belly. There was pure adrenalin… passion. It ignited the moment our lips touched.

It was a short lived kiss but it spoke more truth than words could ever say. Bella still loved me. Her grief allowed her to show her true feelings and as much as I hated that it took something tragic like this for her to open up to me… I took what I could get. It wasn't a selfish thing to do, and I certainly wasn't taking advantage of the situation. If I did then we'd be in the bedroom right now making love until the sun came up.

It was there in her grief that she let her walls crumble. Even though I was saddened that she was going through so much, I was happy that she was opening up to me and that was enough.

She fell asleep in my arms, crying and twitching as she dreamed. I'd woken her up a few times, whispering to her that it was just a dream and back to sleep she went. I'd always known that I would never give up on us but I feared that she had. I feared that I would never have the chance to hold her in my arms again like this. Yet here I was, holding onto her like she was my meaning of life. I would never let her go again… this I swore to myself.

I looked down at her wondering how I'd even gotten through the weeks without her. How I'd lived my life without her in it. She meant more to me than anything and I'd fucked it all up. I was no better than that god damn Jake.

Somewhere in between my self hate and reflection, Bella whispered out my name. I smiled like it was the last sun set on earth and we'd soon be living in the shadows of the night. I loved that she dreamed of me still, and that whatever she was dreaming made a small grin come on her face.

I never knew how good life could be until Bella had walked into mine. I'd almost lost everything and from here on out I would do whatever it took to show her just how much I loved her.

When morning came and she started to stir in my arms, she looked up at me. Her face flushed crimson red.

"I'm sorry. Did you sleep at all?" she asked.

I smiled down at her. "I wasn't tired."

I watched as she stretched and stood from the couch only to sit back down again.

"Edward, what you did…"

"It will never happen again. I swear it to you."

She stared intently into my eyes before she spoke again. "I don't want to hurt you Edward. I'm just not sure I can trust you again."

I nodded in understanding. "It won't happen overnight, but if you'll let me, I'd like to try to build that trust again."

She sighed. "I'm going to have a baby, and we're not sure it's yours. I mean it's not right for me to ask this much of you… of anyone."

I took her face in my hands. "I'm not doing it because you asked me to. I'm doing it because I love you. That baby is mine regardless of blood."

She never answered me. She just stared at me for a while. I'm not sure what went through her mind in those moments and I was too scared to ask what she was thinking. I feared that if I pushed too hard then she'd push back, and I wouldn't make any headway with her.

Here I was, this self-proclaimed business man who had planned to be a lifelong bachelor. I was thinking about _my _child and what kind of future I hoped it would have. The thoughts of having that white picket fence, a white house with blue shutters, a family dog, a wife and two point five children by my side was what brought happiness into my life now.

_If only my father could see me now. _

I thought back to a time where I thought business would bring me happiness and thought about what it would be like to have it all… except Bella. I wasn't truly happy back then and I now had only just begun to scratch the surface of what the meaning of happiness really meant.

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**Okay so that's it. I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter and that you're all not too mad at me for leaving you all hanging. **

**I know that some of you were mad that I made Edward cheat on Bella, but if you remember in chapter 12 I explained that he didn't actually sleep with Emily. They only slept together back in College. They shared a kiss and nothing more. I hope that I explained this situation in enough detail in this chapter that you all understand his point of view a little better. **

**It wasn't that he didn't love Bella it was the fact that he faltered under all the stress that life can bring sometimes. This is not an excuse for his actions, rather an explanation of how he felt about the situation. **

**These two have a long journey ahead of them, but I promise not to prolong the truth of who the father of her baby is. **

**Leave me a review. Tell me who you want the father to be. Edward or Jake? Do you want Jake to live or die? What about Alice or Rose? Tell me what you think. Your reviews fuel my decisions on where I see the story going. **

**Much love to all who continue to read and review. **

**Until next time, April.**


	14. Chapter 14 Crossroads

**Chapter 14**

**Crossroads**

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**A/N: This chapter contains drug abuse, vulgar language, religious content, probably a few tears and of course the much anticipated lemon. **

**S.M owns anything and everything Twilight related. No copy right was intended. I stake no clam to any of it. I just merely play with her characters. **

***Attention –there is a paragraph that mentions religion and due to a past experience that I had writing The Rise Of A New Beginning, I just wanted to state for the record that in no way shape or form am I trying to bash religion, nor am I trying to upset anyone with what I wrote. **

**This part is in Bella's point of view near the beginning and I ask that if this sort of writing offends you in anyway shape or form that you skip it entirely. You won't miss any serious plots and I'm truly sorry if I offend anyone at all, this was not my intention.**

**I also wanted to state that I wrote in this manner because of the way Bella is feeling **_**not**_** at all because she's **_**not**_** a religious person. **

**I also wanted to state due to the pregnancy in this chapter and that I myself am currently pregnant, that this story has nothing to do with mine and my husband's marriage. Once again I will state for the record that this story is inspired by a family member of mine and what **_**she**_** went through. Of course it is _not_ all factual and some is fictitious at best. **

**Also this chapter bounces around a bit and due to the advise of one of my readers, I decided to put in some page breaks to make it a little more readable for you all. I hope it helps. **

**With all of that I wanted to once again thank all of my readers and reviewers. All of you who continuously add my story as one of your favorites, my family, friends and all my wonderful twitter companions. **

**Special thanks to my Beta's who make my story what it is. I play with words but they make it readable. They are awesome! **

**Dee and mydaughterbella you guys will never know how grateful I am to you both. This story is very dear and near to my heart and for all your hard work, dedication and for down right teaching me ever god damn thing I know… I will forever be grateful and can never say thank you enough. **

**The information regarding cocaine substance I found at ****http: / www . addictionsandrecovery . org / cocaine . htm**

**Alright so that's it lets get on with it… Happy reading all… April!**

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**Edward's Point OF View**

After calming down from the initial shock of Bella being pregnant, I managed to collect myself long enough to call a Doctor. The appointment itself was an entire month away and I found myself getting more and more anxious to know the truth. I'd called several different doctors in the area, but due to a shortage of Doctors the best they could do, was a month. I even tried to bribe them with a rather large donation, but that didn't seem to work. I knew that I was being overbearing at best and that I was driving Bella fucking crazy, but she didn't know what it was like for me.

I was a complete fucking mess.

For the last two weeks, I've done nothing but sit in my office and stare at the fucking wall. I'd lost every last piece of who I wanted to be –thinking now about who I was to become. I'd only known Bella for a short amount of time and in that time I'd ruined her life completely. I'd ruined her marriage, taken her from her family and possibly knocked her the fuck up and out of wedlock no less.

I called my brother Jasper a few days ago and told him what was going on. He didn't have any answers for me, but who could blame him? I was shocked to learn that Izzy's place was sold, and he and his band had to play at a local coffee shop in Forks. When I asked him who bought the place, he didn't know. Here I was again taking everything away from Bella. She felt like she had to change for me –improve herself, if that's even possible and now what did she have?

I was ashamed of myself. I was supposed to save her from her darkened life and yet I continuously took her from one darkness to another. When would her life be good? When would I stop fucking up? When would my words come out right?

I vowed that I would make this all up to her, but I didn't know where to start. Jasper told me that I _did_ save Bella from her life and that I was trying to show her how she _should_ be living, but it just didn't feel that way to me. He told me that Bella loved me for whatever reason, and that I should have a little more faith in us, but how could I after everything that we'd been through?

"Edward, we have a meeting in ten minutes." James's voice broke me from my retrieve.

I cleared my throat, "Um, yes, alright. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I'd turned back to my preferred wall, when I heard my office door close.

"Edward, what the fuck is going on with you?" James shot out.

I was agitated at best that he would feel his prying would be accepted as appropriate behavior.

"Nothing is going on, and if there was, I hardly think that it's any of your concern," I hissed.

"I have a lot to lose here too, Edward. Get your shit together or you'll leave me no choice but to call Carlisle!"

Alright, James had crossed the fucking line here. Who did he think he was? Better yet, how fucking old was he –twelve? Call my daddy?

I stood from my chair, slamming my fist down onto my desk while I scowled at him. "I'm the fucking boss around here. You have your job because of me, and I'm entitled to have a bad fucking day! You don't have to like it but you will understand your place in this company!"

With that he turned for the door, but before leaving he turned around. "Whatever the hell this is… could Edward please return soon!" He growled and then walked out of my office.

I flopped down into my chair, hollering at my new secretary, Bree –I think her name was –for not informing me that I had a meeting in ten minutes. After I watched her cry, I felt bad. I knew that it was due to her negligence that I'd forgotten about the meeting, but hell I'd forgotten none the less. It wasn't her fault entirely, she was new and had probably worked here for all but a week give or take, and for the most part she seemed to be getting along well.

I felt like a total ass –scratch that –my head was so far shoved up my ass lately that I've been disregarding everything and everyone. It was time for me to get my shit back together, but the question was, how?

After a dull and useless meeting, I headed for the parking lot where I found Bree sitting in her car. There was no one else around and I found it to be strange that she would sit in her car all alone, in complete darkness.

As I approached the car, I noticed that she was leaning over the passenger side seat. I rapped lightly on her window which startled her. As she jumped and grabbed for her chest. I noted the white powder under her nose. I then looked over to the passenger's seat. There was a fashion magazine with two lines of coke on it. She wiped her nose with the sleeve of her sweeter. The bottom of her eyes where most women would wear eyeliner was as red as a farmer's sun. Her black hair was a tattered mess and now her lips were cracked dry as if she'd never tasted a drop of water. She rolled down her window with shaky hand and made no attempt to hide the substance.

"Mr. Cullen, sir." She addressed me, while I stood there like a chimp begging for a banana.

"Bree is it?" she eyed me. "What you got there?" I pointed. She turned to look at it as if it was nothing more than a common candy bar.

"I call it my miracle drug. It helps me remember things, gives me a bit of energy when it's needed. It's not a problem, sir, I swear it. It's just something like an energy drink for me," she explained.

I couldn't get over how calm and collected she was. She'd just been caught doing drugs on the job. She acted like she didn't have a care in the world and God help me, I wanted to feel that way.

"Energy, you say? What else does it do for you?" I asked.

"It helps with the stress of everyday bullshit." She smiled.

I eyed the white chalky looking substance and wondered what it would be like _not_ to have a care in the world. How it would make me feel… would I feel happy? How long would it last? Would people know I was on it?

As I was going over every question in my head Bree eyed me and asked if I wanted to join her. I stared at her like she was the devil himself and then looked around the garage. In the end, my legs had a mind of their own. Without knowing what the hell I was about to do, I walked around the car, opened the passenger side door, and got in.

My breathing had inclined the moment the door shut and as much as I knew it was wrong, my hand only lingered on the door handle for a second and then fell to my lap. I needed this… I wanted this.

"How do I…"

"It's easy, Edward." She held a rolled up five dollar bill that looked like some sort of straw you drink from, placed the magazine onto my lap, the bill into her left nostril hole –pinching off the other with her thumb, and snorted an entire line from the magazine –leaving one line and a small coating of dust behind.

I felt myself getting aroused that she'd been so close to my package. It was the most erotic thing I think I'd ever experienced thus far. It was wrong… so very wrong, yet here I was with adrenaline pumping through my veins and a beautiful young, attractive woman was in my lap. She smiled at me as she pulled back from the magazine –her head tilted like a pro as she handed me the bill. I looked at her unsure of myself at this point. I knew that this certainly wasn't the way to get back into Bella's good graces but I needed to unwind… stop thinking about everything that was going on for just a few hours.

I smiled back at her, while she placed the magazine onto her lap. I was ready. I wasn't going to act on the sexual impulses that I had in that moment. I wasn't about to cheat on Bella again. It'd just been a while since I'd gotten any and as far back as I can remember the longest I'd ever went without any sort of sexual attention was three days so don't judge. I'm a man. I have needs.

I mimicked her example and snorted back the entire line. It burned my nose and down my throat but it was bitter sweet burn. I felt like all my cares were being burned right out of the depths of my soul. I leaned my head back onto the seat and after ten or twenty minutes I started to feel it.

_I was paranoid! _

I jumped out of her car and told her if she told anyone, not only would she lose her job, but I'd be sure to sue her for slander. After all, _who_ would believe a little girl like her?

"Christ, you can't be more than eighteen!" I shot out.

"I'm twenty!" she hissed back and told me that I had nothing to worry about. She said this was the last thing she wanted her parents to find out.

_Her parents… god damn that's how young she was._

I never thanked her for the coke. I never even looked back. I just sped away praying like hell that this shit would wear off soon. I wasn't cut out to do this. My paranoia told me that much. I felt guilty – not at all calm. How the fuck was I going to go home to Bella like this? _I couldn't._

I spent the rest of the evening at my place avoiding Bella's calls. I felt so fucking horrible. I knew she'd be thinking the worst, but I didn't want to hurt her again. I couldn't do it, and with that thought, I started to calm down. I took in my surroundings and found that I was carefree and relaxed. _I felt good._

I slept in my own bed that night and never returned Bella's calls. I knew that when morning came I would suffer the repercussions of my decision, but I also knew that what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. If I told her I would've only made matters worse.

The next week, I spent after hours in Bree's car. I needed to feel that peace again and again. There was nothing in the world like it, and I soon found myself unable to get through my day without it. Bella and I had talked on the phone a few times and when she asked me what was wrong, I just told her that I wasn't feeling very well. I knew she suspected something was going on, but she never questioned me on it.

I loved Bella more then I'd loved anything in my entire life, but now, now I loved my little white powder just a little bit more. Bree meant nothing to me. She was just my provider.

After the week ended, I got Bree to bring me enough coke for the weekend. She'd done as I requested. This shit was so damn addictive that I found myself needing more than a line a day –by Friday I was taking two. I kept telling myself that it wasn't a problem and that it was only a boost… that I'd quit once things settled down.

######

Bella called me today to remind me that we had our doctor's appointment this afternoon. I couldn't believe that I'd lost an entire week and her message wasn't exactly a nice one.

"Edward, our appointment is this afternoon at one. I don't know what the hell is going on with you anymore. You've just disappeared. You won't return any of my calls. If you don't want to be with me anymore, just say it! I'm tired of these games. When you have the time, give me a call."

I looked over at my clock, alarmed that I'd somehow went through an entire week without realizing it and flipped the fuck out when I realized that it was three o'clock. I'd missed the appointment. I flew to my bedroom, got dressed and snorted back a line before I headed over to her place. I knew that she'd be pissed and I needed it to get me through this argument with her.

When I arrived at her apartment, I stood at her door. I wasn't even sure how the hell I'd gotten there. I ran my hands down my chest to make sure everything was in place. I wasn't hurt so I'd gotten there safe and sound.

When I knocked, I heard her little footsteps walking towards the door. I took a deep breath and stepped back a little, anticipating the blow that I might receive once it opened. I heard her sigh from behind the door before opening it. She opened the door slightly and placed the side of her face against her arm, which rested on the frame, "Nice of you to show up."

She was pissed and with good reason.

"I'm sorry, Love. I've just been so busy with work. My mind is all over the place," I lied.

She looked at me concerned as she reached for my forehead. "You don't look so good, Edward."

"I'm not. I've been sick," I lied again.

The lies seemed to come natural to me.

"Are you going to invite me in?" I smiled as did she, opening the door wider for me to enter.

She was hesitant to start the conversation, and I was relaxed enough to deal with whatever was about to come my way… thanks to my new powdered friend.

She was silent while she made me some coffee. I eyed her and noticed her little baby bump through her pink tank top.

_Wow, how long have I been away?_

When she came back, she smiled but stared back.

"Did you go to the appointment?" I asked. She nodded and handed me a photograph.

I had no idea what the hell I was looking at. All I saw was black and white shapes. She leaned in and her fragrance danced around my nose. "This here…" She pointed at the picture. "…is the baby's head. Down here are its feet, legs, belly, hands and this pearl like string is its spine." She smiled.

I stared at the picture, willing myself to see it. I stood up and held the picture at a distance as if it was one of those hidden picture things. You know the one where it looks like nothing but shapes and when you stand far away you can see an old woman? Finally I saw the little gaffer and smiled then gave her back the picture.

I waited for her to say something, anything, but she just sat there silent.

"Bella, Love. What did the doctor say?" I asked, taking her hand in mine.

Her eyes never left her lap, and I knew that I wasn't going to like the answer. I'd swore that if it wasn't mine that I'd be there for her no matter what, and I intended to make good on that promise, but now… I could feel the bile working its way up my throat. Jake had defiled her flawless body, her womb with his God awful seed.

"Edward, the doctor said that I'm just about eight weeks pregnant. Two months." She sighed.

My heart broke. "It's Jakes?"

Her head snapped like a snake ready to strike her prey. Her eyes held so much hate that I swear they could've burned right through me.

"Edward, it's your baby!" She growled.

I stood to my feet and felt myself getting angry. How could she say it was my baby? If she was a month along it'd be mine.

"You're more than a month, Bella. How could it be mine?" I snapped.

"Oh my God, are you really that out of it? Think about it dumb ass. I haven't seen you in a month. The last time we spoke, you said if the baby was a month it was yours, this we knew. We had to wait a month to see the doctor, which is two fucking months!" She screamed.

I stood there stunned and remembered that I'd missed an entire week. I've been doing coke now for two and a half weeks, give or take. Two weeks I walked around the office like a zombie before trying the shit… two, three, four. God, I'd missed a whole month of my fucking life.

I looked at her apologetic. Even though I knew I should've reacted differently, I stood there calm as a cucumber.

"Is that all you're going to say?" she asked.

I looked at her and watched as her lips moved but never heard a single word that came out of her mouth. I watched as her hand rested on her hip and her fingers along with her foot tapping repeatedly on the floor. I couldn't help but notice the hurt in her eyes even though they were squinted in anger.

"I don't know what to say?" I answered.

I was shocked. I started to laugh. This _wasn't _the time for me to laugh, and I damn well knew it, but I laughed anyway. I couldn't control it. I felt like a man possessed by a demon.

"God damnit, Edward! I knew you didn't want to have children but I figured at least you'd be happy that it _wasn't_ Jake's!"

I chuckled. "I am happy."

"You sure got a funny fucking way of showing it. Jake didn't fucking act this way. At least he wanted this baby to be his. He was hurt when I told him it wasn't!" She screamed at me which pissed me off.

I took a step towards her and before I knew what the hell I was doing, I'd grasped her arm, forcing her across the room and pushed her against the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen.

"When did you see Jake?"

"Stop, Edward. You're hurting me!"

I hissed. "Tell me when you saw Jake!"

She cried, but never backed down from me, "I went to his room at the hospital, after my appointment and told him. I thought he had a right to know. And I figured he'd leave us alone now."

I let go of her. I could see my refection in the microwave and I didn't recognize myself. I fell to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably into my own hands. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm in no shape to be around you and our baby right now. I need to get my shit together."

She bent down beside me, taking my face in her hands. "Tell me, Edward. Tell me what's wrong… please? I can't help you if you don't let me in." She cried.

I wiped away her tears. "Please, Love, don't cry. I'm damaged. I need to figure some shit out."

"Edward, don't do this. Don't shut me out. Please."

I wasn't sure how to respond to her. I wasn't even sure how to explain anything to her. I stood up from the floor and headed towards the door. When I reached the door handle, I hesitated for a moment then opened it. I ran down the stairs, out the door and into my car. I never started the damn thing. I just sat there thinking.

Why wasn't I happy that Bella's baby was mine? Why wasn't I more supportive? Why had I hurt her like that?

I needed to do another line to straighten me out. Just one more and I'd be done with the shit.

I lined it up nicely on my dashboard, took my line, wiped at my nose and headed back into her apartment. The walls seemed to stretch on and expand in and out as I made my way down the hall. The stairs were longer then I remembered and when I'd made it up the humongous flight of stairs, I noticed Bella still sitting on her floor sobbing. She hadn't even shut the apartment door.

I felt like Captain America in that moment. Nothing in the world could touch me. I closed the door behind me, startling Bella in the process. I picked her up and headed towards her bedroom.

Even though I _had_ forced her into the bedroom, she didn't stop me. She knew I wanted her. I'm sure my desire was rolling off of me in waves. We'd both gone into the room for a single purpose. We wanted to get more acquainted –more intimate if you will. A few minutes later, I placed a light kiss on her lips and she spoke. "I'm officially divorced. I've wanted to tell you."

I was beyond words. I was screaming inside, happy as shit! I jumped from the bed knowing that this was a rare privilege. She'd divorced that asshole for me, and I knew it. I'd really taken her from her darkest days.

"Bella, it's a rare privilege to be with such a beautiful woman and to know that you love me even after…." She stopped me, with a kiss.

My words were true. I loved her. I knew that I was blessed to have met her, loved her, and had her love in return, but would she forgive me of my addiction once I told her the truth? Another day I suppose… not today… not tonight… not while we're this happy.

I kissed her again and this time when our lips touched they ignited with a promise of much more to come.

For the first time since I'd been here, I could see her bra through her shear pink tank top and I felt a surge of desire run wild through me… a real charge. Suddenly, I wanted Bella more than I could ever remember wanting anything. I kissed her again and when our lips parted and our tongues greeted, I became needy.

Things progressed swiftly after that. We continued to kiss, caress and play, while our clothing fell to the floor. First Bella's skirt and half-slip fell to expose her neatly trimmed bush. Her panties had gone along with her hose then my pants were gone along with my boxers. I found myself busily removing her top and bra.

As her bra fell away to expose her breasts, I realized that Bella was even more beautiful pregnant and I told her so. Then as if guided by some unseen force, she turned down the bed covers and exposed the sheets before climbing into them. We moved together. I began to kiss her hungrily now, driven by my newly found passions. My hands roamed freely over her silky body as she spoke, "Easy, Edward. We've got all night."

Bella was right, of course. I was moving too fast. It'd just been a while since I'd been with her. I needed to savor her entire essence, her heart, mind and soul. Not just the succulent flesh of her body. To accomplish this, I needed to slow down.

My lips seemed to drive Bella's passion to whole new heights when I applied them to her nipples and my fingers caressed her breasts. When my mouth had moved to the soft inner flesh between her labia and my tongue played at her entrance, she began to cry out in soft, guttural, animal sounding tones. It was when my tongue had moved upwards to her exposed clit that she cried out for me to fuck her.

"Fuck me now, Edward, Fuck me hard!" She practically screamed. In response, I hovered over her to comply.

As I settled into the missionary position, she pulled me closer to her and kissed me impatiently with a deep, soulful kiss. My cock moved directly to her entrance as if guided by some external force.

I looked down at it while it rested, gathering lubrication from Bella's arousal. One simple push and I felt my cock slide into her warm, wet, velvety smooth canal that I'd missed so god damn much. I pushed further wanting to feel as much of her as I could. I pushed until I was as deep as I could go then remained there, motionless, savoring the moment.

As our eyes met, Bella said, "Damn, I've missed you." She smiled.

I pulled out, laying my head against her belly. This was going to be _my_ baby, and I was both scared shitless and completely happy, but I couldn't disregard the smell of her arousal. It was dominant in the air. I wanted to taste her. I needed her to cry out my name in satisfaction.

I watched as she licked her lips, hungry for me just as I was for her. She rubbed my swollen member, trying to somehow make it harder… impossible.

"God, so sexy," she whispered, leaning down and wrapping her lips around my hard cock. Her tongue twirled around the underside of my head, teasing the slit.

I stiffened and throbbed against her tongue as she sucked me harmoniously. Her hand drummed a steady rhythm up and down my shaft as he jacked me into her mouth. My hips rose as she ran her fingertips from my shaft down to my balls. I moaned and stiffened to full attention in her mouth.

Next, I collapsed on the bed beside her and watched as she slid her body up mine. Her lips came crashing down upon my own with a kiss filled with want. My hands grabbed her ass, squeezing and spanking. I could feel her heat pressed against my groin, throbbing and yearning for me. It pulsated and became wetter and wetter. She needed me inside her.

My cock took notice and stood at attention once more. She moaned at the anticipation of the pleasure she was about to receive. I raked my fingernails over her ass, and she inhaled deeply, lowering herself onto my cock. I thrust into her, quick, hard. She was so tight that I couldn't keep myself from moaning. She laid her chest against me, rising and lowering her hips, feeling me slip deeper and deeper into her before sliding back out.

My mind exploded at the pleasure of her caressing my cock. I wrapped my arms around her and pounded into her harder and harder. My dick rubbed her tender spot and sent her over the edge. She moaned out my name.

"That's it baby, cum for me… cum for me," I commanded.

I could feel her pussy tightening around me. I felt her pulsate as if she was my own personal cock ring. Suddenly, she just let it all go. I could feel her cum on my shaft. It was flowing freely. It reminded me of a powerful jet from a Jacuzzi tub. She rode me harder sitting up, wanting to ride out her orgasm. I reached up and pinched her pert nipples. She moaned tossing her head back. I smirked, knowing every crevice of her body. She desired my touch.

She leaned back and rode me faster. I could feel her clit rubbing against my trimmed pubic hair as she rocked herself back and forth –stimulating herself further. I held her ass tightly and with every rise and fall, I could feel her getting closer.

I could feel myself thickening inside of her. My balls pulled up tight into my body. They were ready to give her the last bit of cum she craved. She needed it deep inside her… I needed it deep inside her. She dug her fingers into my chest moaning over and over, "Edward, Oh, Edward!"

I clenched onto her hips tightly as my breathing became shallow and I knew it wouldn't be long. I hissed my orgasm through clenched teeth. "I'm cuming!" I emptied my hot seed inside of her and it set her off again. She writhed around while moaning my name as another climax hit her.

Finally, she slumped against my chest heaving sighs of satisfaction. My high was marvelous. It was like we had re-familiarized ourselves with each other once again. Bella was good at fucking –love making –the best I'd ever had. I had never shared that much passion with any of my one night stands.

Of course, with our sexual activity at this level and the fact that neither one of us had gotten any in over a month, we both didn't last that long –probably twenty minutes at best.

When Bella released my cock from her pussy, I suddenly felt like something was missing. We lie beside one another and stared at each other intently. We lost ourselves in the moment. The last thing I remember is Bella saying, "It's not even eight o'clock yet."

#######

It was still very dark when I felt Bella stir and move against me. She grasped my cock and slowly began jacking it to full erection. Twenty minutes later I felt myself discharging a third load of jizz into Bella's hand.

**Bella's Point Of View**

"Edward, its Bella. I'm starting to worry. Please call me when you get this." I hung up, worried, but most of all I was pissed as hell.

This was, oh, probably the fifteenth message that I'd left him this week. In the past three weeks we'd probably talked four… maybe five times. It _wasn't_ like Edward to avoid my calls.

In the beginning, I thought I'd give him some space. Give him some time to adjust to the idea that I was pregnant –you know, but sadly that decision seemed to have come back to bite me in the ass. I deserved it. I knew it, but the least he could do was be a man and tell me to my face that he didn't want me anymore.

I understood him freaking out. Hell, I was freaking out too, but come on… grow some balls! He was supposed to be this feared businessman and now he was nothing more than a terrified man running for the hills –scared shitless that he might have to change a dirty fucking diaper.

_Men, who fucking needs em? _

I contemplated in that moment if I'd do better with a woman… perhaps I'd try my luck at eating a pussy. Hmm, then again, I loved the cock way too much to ever be satisfied with munching on a carpet. Relationships are relationships right? Bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight –relationships were all the fucking same. All they wanted was to fuck you and then, fuck you up!

Now I know that I sound like a cold and ruthless bitch, but hell had been handed to me in a basket with a bright, shiny, red, fucking bow.

I thought being with Edward was supposed to change things for me and it didn't. I thought going off on my own to figure shit out would help me somehow, and all it did was chase Edward into the arms of another woman. Now here I was, pregnant, and unaware of whom the fucking daddy was. I wanted it to be Edward, hell I'd give my soul to the devil himself, just to have Edward as the father, but now… I'd wished I was the fucking Virgin Mary and that only God himself was the father of my unborn.

Hala-fucking-ula! Praise his name!

I've always been a religious person so don't go and judge me for my words. They're not at all blasphemes in any damn way. I love our lord and savior, I just happen to think that he might have forgotten about me somewhere down the fucking line.

Billy told me once that God's children are those who suffer. Well, I sure as fuck, am doing a lot of suffering… enough with the religious stuff.

Edward being the father would be the best fucking news I'd heard all damn day. The only problem was that today was going by fast and I'd still not heard from his stupid fucking ass!

I left him a message reminding him that we had our doctor's appointment this afternoon and went off on some spiel that I'm sure could've been a hell of a lot worse. I don't know what'd gotten into me lately. I guess I was hormonal. I'd heard the horror stories of the mood swings but I never thought they would be like this. It had to just be Edward pissing me off… right?

Anyhow, Edward was a no show and I decided to leave by myself.

######

I was sitting there on that small little leather bed with that see-through, white fucking paper sticking to my ass –that shit they use for sanitary purposes. Myself personally, I can't understand how something so thin could be sanitary… I mean come on. My ass sweat was sure to have gone through that shit and onto the leather. In fact, I think my ass is sticking to the fucking leather right then.

Oh, potty mouth, please excuse my nasty fucking mouth. The bitch is back.

Lately, I'd been craving a banana split, and of course this made me think of Edward's idea of chocolate cock and banana slit. Now I wanted sex and a banana split. Perhaps we could just combine the two whenever the hell he shows up!

When the doctor walked in with my results, I froze in spot. I felt like I might burst at the seams and somehow in that moment I was glad that Edward wasn't there. If it wasn't his baby I don't think I could bare his and my disappointment all at the same damn time.

"Well, Miss. Swan, you're indeed pregnant."

It was strange. In that moment I heard that I was pregnant, but what made me smile was the Miss. Swan part. I was officially me again and no longer held any ties to Jacob Black… well at least I hoped.

"How far along am I Doc?" I whispered.

"Well, from your sonogram, you look to be two months." He smiled and congratulated me.

I sighed out my relief and was happier than a two peckered toad. Now all that was left to do was to tell Edward and Jake.

I wasn't looking forward to seeing Jake, but I figured since I was already here at the hospital, it was better to get it over with. Not to mention he couldn't hurt me in his state nor would he carry on that way in a hospital. I was safe… well for the most part anyways.

I hadn't seen Jake since I placed the beating on him. Alice had called a few times telling me how much she hated me and what a bad person I was. A part of me –a very small part of me –did feel bad. Jake and I had lots of history and it wasn't always bad.

When I arrived outside his doorway, I took in a few small breaths before opening it. Jake was staring at the ceiling… off in some unknown world. His eye still held a small bruise and his left leg was extended in the air by some sling hanging from the ceiling. When he did turn to notice me, he smiled.

"Izzy, what a nice surprise."

I silently stayed at the door, "Hi, Jake. How you doing?"

"I'm great. Doc says I'll be out of here in no time."

I didn't feel bad that he was hurt. Hell, he deserved it, but I still don't know why I was so worried about him. Whatever this shit was, I needed to get out what I'd come here to say and get it out quick.

"Jake, I just came from the seeing the doctor. He confirmed that I'm pregnant and…"

He sat up slightly, smiling. "Did you get a picture?"

I nodded. "I did, but…"

He waved his hand crazily. "Come, let me see it."

I shook my head. "Jake, it's not your baby. It's Edward's. I came here to tell you that. We no longer share any ties. Edward and I are going to start our own family. Please move on and find yourself a wife. Have some babies and be happy."

I turned for the door when I heard Jacob sobbing. When I turned back to look at him, his eyes were red and puffy. Snot was running down his nose and onto his lip. He'd never in all the years I'd known him looked so unhappy.

"Izzy, I loved you. I still love you. I fucked everything up. I know that now and I'm going to get help. I'd be lying if I said that I was happy for you. I wanted that baby to be mine… prayed for it even. I guess this is God's way of punishing me for all the wrong that I've brought into your life."

I felt my legs forcing me to walk toward him. When I reached him, I sat beside his shaken body on the bed. I hesitantly wrapped my arm around his shoulder and brought him to my chest… cradling him like he was my child. I rocked him back and forth hushing him and reassuring him that someday he'd find his better half… that we weren't meant to be. Jake had turned into an asshole and I knew that he still was the same man I'd left, but I held onto hope that he would change –not for me, but for himself. I did hope that he would find happiness. As much as I cursed him and wished death upon him, in this light, he was the Jake I'd fallen in love with and I'd broken _that_ Jake's heart.

I left his hospital room after he'd calmed down and headed to see Rosalie. She was doing well. I'd come to visit her all most every day since she'd been in this place. Her lips were still swollen so she couldn't talk just yet. She was eating everything from a straw, but hell, she was eating and no longer needed her food to be injected. The doctors said that she was doing such a great job and they suspected that she'd make a full recovery.

When I told her that the baby was Edward's she reached for her pad of paper and pen. She wrote:

_I'm so happy for you and Edward both. It's about time you get everything you deserve. You deserve to be happy, Bella._

I nodded, smiled and held her Sippy cup to her lips. I couldn't bear to tell her that Edward wasn't speaking to me and that I feared he'd run off. I needed my friend, but under the circumstances, I needed her well and I knew telling her this shit would only upset her farther.

After telling Rose that I loved her and I'd see her tomorrow, I headed for home. It'd been a long ass day and all I wanted was to get some rest. I flopped down onto my couch when I heard a knock at the door. I made my way over to it and peeked out the peep hole only to see Edward on the other side.

We'd gotten into an argument when he accused me of lying about who the father was of our baby. In that moment I wanted to rip his cock off and shove it down his throat, but I knew that he had every damn right to make his accusations. It hurt like hell when he left, but when I felt myself being picked up and carried to the bedroom, all that hurt had subsided. All I thought about now was getting laid.

I knew it was wrong on so many levels but hell, I was horny as fuck. I needed him as much as he needed me. I'd missed him way too damn much.

####

When morning had arrived, I lay in bed beside Edward and watched him sleep. His hair was swept along his face, his eyes softly closed and his mouth was partly open. I couldn't get over how breathtakingly beautiful he was. I hoped that our child would look just like him –his beautiful blue eyes, strong chiseled jaw and his stunning bronzy hair.

I took in those luscious pouted lips of his and couldn't help myself. I scooted closer to him and lowered my face to his, gently caressing his lips with my own. I pulled back just in enough time to witness his eyes fluttering and a small smirk distinctive on his face.

"Good morning, Love." His sleepy voice cracked between his smiling lips.

"Good morning." I smiled.

He quickly pulled me on top of him and bombarded me with speckled kisses. I giggled like a teenager in love for the first time and then hit him repeatedly with a pillow.

####

The next week I noticed that there was something strange about Edward. He'd been staying with me everyday ever since I told him about the baby. He was here with me, but wasn't here with me all at the same time. I'd asked him on several occasions what was going on, but he just kept telling me that he was overworked and very tired.

Edward's beautiful eyes were always a window to his soul and now they seemed to be lost in some unknown universe.

He was sitting across from me just staring at me as I went on and on about names for our baby. He was looking at me but he wasn't listening to me. His mind was on something else. I never questioned him or got mad. I'd spoken with my mother about my concerns regarding Edward and she told me that every man freaks out when they find out that they're going to be a father for the first time. So when he got like this I just let him be.

The more time we spent together, however, the more I noticed a change in his attitude. We fought a few days ago about where we were all going to live. He couldn't understand why I wanted to stay in this apartment, but for me… I wasn't ready to get remarried nor was I ready to live with Edward just yet.

After a while of him not listening to me, I got up and headed to my kitchen to make us some dinner. After about a half hour, he called out my name and in a panic. I ran into the living room where I found him lying on the floor grasping at his chest.

I ran to his side and placed his head onto my lap. "Edward, what is it? Are you having a heart attack?" I panicked reaching for my cell only for him to stop me.

"Bella, in the right pocket of my pants," he rushed out.

I looked at him strangely but ran into my bedroom to fetch his pants and then back out into the living room. When I reached into his pants and pulled out the baggy of coke, my eyes bulged out of my head.

"What the fuck is this?" I screamed holding the shit in the air.

Edward reached out for it and I pulled it away from his reach. "You've been fucking doing coke?"

"Please, Love, I need it." he begged.

I couldn't believe that he'd been doing this shit. He wasn't Jake. He was better than this.

"No, Edward! No fucking way!" I screamed getting up from the floor.

"Please, baby. I need it. I'll fucking die!" He screamed.

I stood there looking down at his trembling hands and light blue lips. Fuck, his body was going into shock from the withdrawals.

I handed him the bag and looked away. I couldn't bear to witness him tarnish his beautiful body with that shit. When he was done and had turned back into himself –well the hollow shell of a man I'd come to know in the last week –he sat against the couch.

I looked down at him. "How long, Edward?"

"About a month."

"How much?"

"Enough, I guess"

"This shit ends now!" I screamed and ripped the bag out of his hands.

I ran for the toilet and he was quick to run after me. He was screaming profanities at me, while I locked myself in the bathroom, leaving him on the other side of the door, listening to the toilet flush.

"You bitch, how could you? I need that to live. Do you want me to die? Baby, I love you. I'm sorry. Fuck!"

I cried when I heard him slam his fist against my bathroom door. I knew that it wasn't my Edward talking. It was the coke and nothing more.

####

The next morning, I called Edward's office and told his new secretary Bree that Edward was sick and would most likely be out of the office for a few days. She seemed nice and generally concerned about his welfare.

Edward hadn't woken up yet, but I knew that we were both in for one hell of a day. I'd witnessed Jacob coming down from his coke high and fuck I used to buy the shit for him just to shut him the fuck up. His beatings were much worse when he was sober.

When Edward woke, he started with the begging. I knew far too well what was in store for us.

"Edward, do you love me?" I asked.

"Yes, of course."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

I nodded and told him that I was going to help him get off this shit. Explaining that he was going to hate me, but that in no way shape or form was he getting his fix from me. He was angry at first and once again I knew that it was just his addiction talking.

After the first hour, he started to have mood swings. He told me that I was a bitch who wanted him to be in pain.

"Edward, cocaine is not like crack. You won't be in pain. You just think you will because you need it."

After that, Edward started to get even angrier. He told me to lock him in the bathroom. I did as he requested and placed a chair under the door handle of the bathroom. It was hard to listen to the vulgar words that escaped through the door, but I knew that he needed this. I needed to help him. With Jake, I didn't give a damn if he died, but Edward… was my life and our baby needed him.

I found Edward's laptop and looked up a bunch of things to do with withdrawals from cocaine.

"The withdrawal symptoms of cocaine are emotional. There are no physical withdrawal symptoms from cocaine, which is why people sometimes trick themselves into thinking they aren't addicted to it. "I'm not physically addicted to cocaine." But there's no physical addiction and non-physical addiction – there's just addiction. All addiction occurs in the brain.

Even though there are no physical withdrawal symptoms, cocaine still satisfies the criteria of addiction. People have difficulty controlling how much they use and they continue to use even though it has negative consequences to their life.

The emotional withdrawal symptoms of cocaine are: tiredness, depression, anxiety

and moodiness."

The rest of the day I listened to him scream until there was no more screaming coming from the other side of the door.

I walked to the door, tired as fuck and called for him. "Edward, are you alright?" I heard nothing and opened the door in a panic to find him sitting on the floor leaning against the tub, crying.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" he cried.

I sat down beside him and held him to my chest, crying along with him.

"Edward, you'll get through this. I know you will. I love you more than anything and our baby is going to love you. Please, if you won't stop for yourself, stop for your baby." I placed his hand to my belly and watched as he placed his head in my lap and pressed against my belly, crying.

I cried along with him stroking his hair, telling him over and over again that everything was going to be fine and that I loved him.

I looked up to the ceiling and did something that I'd never done before… I prayed like hell that God would see us through this. I prayed that God wouldn't take happiness that he had given me for such a short amount of time and I prayed that he would give us both the strength that we needed.

I knew that we had a long road ahead of us and there would be a crossroad at some point in our misfortune, but if I was to take the wrong path, I was determined to turn around, go back to where I started and try the next damn one. I owed it to myself to be happy, to Edward, and to our baby.

* * *

**Alrighty people, that's it. For the record… I have NO problem with bisexuals, lesbian, gay, trans, or straight people/relationships.**

**So that's it. I know that this was a huge change of direction for Edward. You all see Edward as the rock in the relationship and now you are all witnessing his fallings. I hope that you understand that this stuff happens to good people, not just bad or the homeless. It's real and even though I myself have never tried cocaine, I've witnessed many who have. I don't know what it feels like to be high on it, so I'm going by what I've been told.**

**Other wise let me know what you thought of the chapter? Were you shocked that Edward went down this road or did you suspect that he would do something distractive? **

**What are your thoughts on Bella, now? Are you happy that, the bitch is back or would you rather her be more soft hearted? **

**I have to admit I have more fun writing the tough Bella, but let me know please.**

**Thanks once again, my lovely readers! **

**April**


	15. Chapter 15 Silk Fiber

**Chapter 15**

**Silk fiber**

* * *

**A/N: Hey there everyone, yep it's me. I'm still alive :P **

**Sorry about the super long wait on the chapter update. I've been crazy busy and it's really not an excuse. Between Doctors and Family I've really not had the time to do much. The family is super excited about the soon to be arrival of our little Carter. I pray that I have this story done well before he's born as I'm sure a lot of you are aware of the time that is spent on a new born. **

**Anyhow, I've been playing with this chapter for about a week now, hoping to get it done and finally here it is. I have started on Chapter 16 and am about halfway done it. I'll just need to finish it up and send it off to beta's so hopefully next week I'll have another update for you's.**

**There's nothing to warn you all about in this chapter other than the Lemon. :) had to make the late update up to you all somehow. **

**Thank you to you all who are so patient with me and understanding. Also big thank you to those of you who've emailed me asking me if everything was alright. **

**Special thanks to:**

**My readers/reviewers**

**My ladies on Twitter and many followers**

**And of course my lovely Beta's. Dee and Mydaughterbella. Please take a moment can check out their stories they're highly addictive and well worth the read. I promise you won't be disappointed.**

**That's it lets get on with it then. Happy reading to all!**

* * *

**Bella's Point Of View**

The days were long. The nights even longer. It took me almost two weeks of helping Edward with his addiction before I felt that he was well enough to go back to the office.

He'd been so misguided… so sick, and I sure as hell didn't' know what I was doing. I mean, I knew how a person reacted on the shit but I never knew how to get them off it. I'd never helped Jake and perhaps that was my fault.

The details of the past two weeks are far too grotesque to even know where to begin. All I can tell you is that I _never_ want to see Edward like that again. In fact, I try to think of it as some other person who needed my help. Edward was far too pure to ever go through something this demon-like or perhaps that was just my view of the man.

I wanted to believe that Edward was perfect and that he would never take his life for granted just as I wanted to believe there wasn't another person on this planet that could ever compare to him. In my eyes, he was perfection and this… this was my fault.

I needed to stop thinking the world revolved around me. That everything that had went wrong in my life or Edward's life –that it was all my doing. I wasn't to blame for Edward's addiction.

I mean sure, we'd been through so much as a couple in such a small amount of time, but this was still no excuse for his actions. A mother who drinks when she's pregnant can't blame her baby's developments on the father because he simply drove her to drink? No! She'd chosen to drink all by herself.

The bottom line is that every single person is responsible for their own life.

###

Today was both a nervous and anxious day. We both had no idea how the hell he'd be able to deal with the pressures of his business, let alone deal with his addiction, but we wouldn't know unless we gave it a try. I made Edward promise to let me come along with him to the office. He'd agreed and never once argued with me.

"Edward, are you almost done in there?"

The door to the bathroom swung open revealing a very handsome and nervous Edward. He stood before me in slim, black dress pants, a dark blue dress shirt, and a black and white striped tie that he fumbled with.

I smiled and took hold of the tie in my hands. "You're going to do great. You look sexy as hell." I smiled.

"Bella, I'm not so sure I can do this," he whispered.

"If you're not ready then we can try again tomorrow."

He stared at me for a few minutes while I pulled the tie closed. "No. I have to get back to work."

I nodded in understanding. He was too afraid that he would lose business and more afraid of the talk that would be going on at the office. I couldn't fault him or question him on his reasoning but if at any time I felt that it was just a bit too much for him to handle, I'd force his ass to leave.

I knew that I owed Edward everything. After all, the man had saved me from myself in more ways than I care to share. After taking his hand in mine, we headed out of my apartment to the car. Before we knew it, we were swerving between the steady sway of Monday morning traffic.

"Bella, you know that I love you, right?"

The way his words came out made me uneasy.

"Yes, Edward. I know. Almost as much as I do." I chuckled.

He smiled before the next set of words come out of his mouth.

"I got the cocaine from an employee at work. I don't know if I'm going to be able to face this person when I get to the office. I'm not sure how I'm going to react to her," he stated and never took his eyes of the road.

I couldn't help but pick up on the "her" part. I couldn't believe that it was a woman that had given Edward the coke. I have no idea why I'd imagined that he got it off the street from some teenaged boy. To know not only that someone had given him the shit at his company, but to know that it was a woman was mind boggling. I must admit I was shocked and God help me I wanted to rip her face off.

Still, I knew that whoever she was she wasn't to blame. However, if I caught her offering the shit to Edward again, I was sure I'd tackle the bitch to the polished marbled floors of Cullen & Son.

When the elevator chimed notifying us that we'd made it to the fiftieth floor, I was half expecting Rose to greet us with Edward's morning coffee. Instead, there was this very petite, dark haired, doe eyed little girl, who couldn't be more than twenty years old.

"Mr. Cullen, Sir. It's nice to have you back at the office," she greeted.

"Thank you Bree, messages?" Edward disregarded her.

She stared at Edward as if she was hurt then continued to stare at him as if there was some unspoken words among the two of them. I was starting to feel like a third wheel when she cleared her throat and began informing him of his messages and schedule.

"Oh and one more thing, sir. Rosalie has been sent home. Her husband, Emmett, called this morning to notify you that she's doing well and will be back to work in a month, providing her doctors give her the go ahead."

I couldn't help but smile at the news. For one, my best friend was home and getting better each and every day. She'd be back to her feisty self soon enough. Two, this little girl who had a high school crush on my man couldn't leave fast enough.

Don't get me wrong. I know there are a lot of women who work at Edward's Company, women who swoon over him and all. Hell, all he has to do is walk into a room and women flock to him like flies on shit, but this girl… this doe-eyed innocent looking busty brunette wasn't fooling me. She wanted my man and there was no fucking way in hell I was going to allow her to get her hooks in him.

"Pardon me, Barb is it?" I snootily remarked.

"Bree," she corrected me with a tiny little grin.

"Right, like the stinky cheese." Edward looked at me with questions in his eyes, but I disregarded him all together. "I hope you have another job lined up. I would hate to think you'd be out of a job in a month's time." I smiled at her.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about me…"

"Bella… Edward's fiancé," I lied.

_**What? She had that one coming.**_

"Oh, pardon me, Miss, congratulations to you both. I'll be transferred the moment Rosalie returns to her chair."

"Oh, you don't say. What company are you being transferred to?" I tried to ask as sincerely as I could, but truth be told, I couldn't give a rats ass where she was headed to.

"You've misunderstood me, Miss. I'm going to be transferred to James's desk. I'm to become his new secretary." She turned to Edward. "I hope you don't mind, Edward, but he noticed everything I've done for you these last few weeks and he informed me that he needed a sectary with my qualifications." She grinned and I didn't fucking like the way her words came out.

"Mr. Cullen!" I shouted.

She grabbed at her chest. "Pardon me?"

"His name is not Edward! To you, it's Mr. Cullen!"

"Oh, yes, please excuse me today," she apologized.

I nodded as my eyes tore holes into the depths of her very soul. Edward pulled me into his office, smirking all the while. I was wrapped up in my own insecurities that I hadn't truly noticed the sly smile on his face.

"Bella, what the hell was that?"

I looked from the office windows to greet his gaze and when I did I had to smile as well. It had been far too long since I'd seen that radiant smile on his face.

"What?" I shrugged it off not wanting to give him a straight answer. Truth be told, I was a little embarrassed about my actions. I felt like a very insecure, immature high school student.

"It was silly of me to act that way, Edward, but it brought that beautiful smile to your face once again so in the end I'd say it was worth it." I smiled, touching the side of his face.

In an instant, I was swept up into his strong arms where I always felt the safest. I stared up at his goofy grin and secretly daydreamed of what our life would be like without all the drama.

I constantly dreamed of the days when we could just live happily ever after. I wanted it. We deserved it, but this is reality and in the end we're just as fucked as the couple next door.

We've all got our secrets, we all lie or we've all hurt someone we love. Why is that?

"Bella, are you still here with me?" Edward's chuckle brought me back to the real world.

I laughed alongside him, kissed him gently on the lips, and reluctantly withdrew myself from his strong embrace.

He looked so sad the moment I'd left his arms that I just wanted to fling myself back into them and say "fuck it lets go home!" but in the end, Edward had work to do and he needed to be able to trust himself again, as I needed to be able to trust him.

###

It was strange that no one ever questioned why I was sitting in on private meetings or why I'd been following Edward around all day as if I was his shadow. They never asked, looked in my direction, and I can only assume that they were all going to talk about this over their lunch break.

Did I really care what they thought of me? No! Of course I didn't but I cared what they thought of their boss. Would someone be so bold as to ask why I was there? Probably not, but the rumoursI was sure would float through the place like a bad virus. I needed to make sure people had some sort of answer as to why I was there and regarding Edward's absence over the past two weeks. Even if it wasn't the truth, it would put an end to all the gossip that I was sure was taking place.

As I sat on the brown leather sofa in Edward's office reading a magazine, I spotted Bree. I figured she was young enough and her naive persona would help me in my mission.

I smiled at Edward as he looked up at me from over his mound of paperwork. "I'm just going to go to the washroom. I'll be right back. Can I get you anything from the cafeteria?

"No, I'm good. Oh… maybe a coffee, please?" He smiled and then his eyes went right back to the paperwork before him. I nodded, smiled, and walked out closing the door behind me.

Bree was fast to stand at Rose's podium. "Is there something I can get for you Miss. Swan?"

"Actually, could you accompany me to the cafeteria? I need to grab some food for Edward and I and I'm afraid I don't have enough hands." I smiled friendly as did she.

"Of course," she said.

I opted for the stairs, slyly telling her that I'd missed my workouts for the week. She never questioned me on it and my plan had started off without a hitch –or so they say.

"Bree, I must apologize for my behaviour earlier towards you regarding Edward," I started.

She stared straight ahead as if she hadn't even heard my apologies. It took everything in me not to throw up apologizing to her. I certainly didn't mean it, and within my efforts of trying to make peace, the least she could do was acknowledge me.

I continued. "It's just that Edward means so much to me and I'm a very jealous person. I really need help. I can't explain where this deep anger comes from, but oh-my-God, I wish I could tame it."

She turned to look at me. "I completely understand where you're coming from. It can't be easy having someone like Edward by your side. I can tell you I would go absolutely fucking insane every time another woman looked at him."

Great, I've caught her attention and now my plan is coming into action.

"So is that why you're here today… I mean, because you're worried that he's got someone on the side at work?" she asked.

Here's where I had to play the high school girl. A role I was so _not_ looking forward to, but in order for Bree to trust me, I had to give her some information so she'd befriend me –even if the information I gave her _wasn't_the truth.

"Yes, my God. I can't even walk down the street without a woman looking at my man. I'm going crazy inside. I think he's got something going on at work and it tears me up inside. How could he do this to me? He's such a player," I lied, shaking my head back and forth.

I was shocked at how well I did at this acting bit. Bree turned me down a hall and sat me on a bench, handing me some tissues from her dainty black purse.

"Bella, I can tell you in the short amount of time that I've known Edward, he's been nothing but friendly to me, but I must admit that he's a bit of a flirt. You have to be careful with your heart. He'll rip it out and toss it away like it was yesterday's newspaper."

I looked up from my pretend sobs a little shocked at her accusations. "What do you mean he's a flirt? Who was he flirting with? When? Where?" I shot out, startling her a bit.

"Shh, Bella, keep your head on. It's just that I see the way he talks to the women around here and well… he's very flirtatious."

I nodded knowing damn well when I started at this company, that the only other woman around here other than me was Rose –If you don't count the cafeteria ladies, but they're all older women, so I knew that she was referring to herself.

"Bree, when did Edward come on to you? I won't tell him you told me. I just really need to know… one woman to another?" I pressed. Her eyes bulged out of her head.

"No ma'am, he never came on to me, but I'd watch that Rosalie. He likes her a lot." She moved her eyebrows up and down.

I knew that Edward never looked at Rose any more than just a friend. So I knew there was more to the story than just Rose.

"Oh!" I sobbed. "That must be the woman he's been telling me about."

"What woman?" she questioned.

"The one that always listens to him and gives him everything he needs. How can I compare to a woman like that? He tells me all the time that I never listen and I don't understand his needs," I lied.

I couldn't help but notice the small smile that appeared on her face as she pulled me into her chest.

I knew I had her.

I didn't need to know anymore. She had a crush on Edward. This I was very sure of the moment I laid eyes on her, but now I knew she was the woman who'd given Edward the cocaine. The question was… what was I going to do about it? Was I going to tell Edward that I found out? Would I question Bree on her stupidity? Or would I simply kick the shit out of her?

As much as I wanted to kick the shit out of her, I knew that it would only make matters worse.

_Look at how grownup I am._

The idea here was that I _was_ planning on using Bree to tell the entire company that I'm a jealous freak and this was the reason for Edward's absence for the past two weeks. The way I treated Bree this morning and the fact that I'd come and spent the day following Edward around the office was sure to prove my point.

I didn't mind being the crazy, fucked up lady as long as it made Edward look ideal. The men would swoon at his feet and love the fact that the "old Edward" was back. But what I wasn't expecting in using the most naive person I could find to spread the gossip around the place, that she would also reveal herself to me as Edward's dealer.

If I kicked the shit out of her, it would prove my point on how jealous I was, but on the flipside, it could also potentially make her come out about Edward's addiction and the press would have a field day. No I had to play this one cool.

"I should get to Edward's lunch so I can shove it down his face," I growled.

Bree stood up with me, linking arms as we made our way to the cafeteria. I went along with her male bashing to keep her believing that I was upset. I bought some sandwiches, milk for me, and a coffee for Edward then returned to the stairs.

###

When I made it back to Edward's office, Bree was watching through the windows intensely to see what I was about to do. I couldn't let my audience down so I dumped the milk on Edward's lap. He jumped up quickly as I started to shout at him.

"I see you looking at all those fucking women!" He looked at me surprised as I walked over to the blinds and started to close them one by one.

I noticed at this point that I had successfully gained all the attention from the floor of onlookers. I looked over to Bree to see her telling some secret to George the janitor. I was very successful.

"What the hell, Bella?"

I scribbled onto a piece of paper:

_Just go with it. I'll explain later!_

"You're always telling me that I'm not enough for you. I gave you a threesome what more do you want from me? You want me to suck your cock right here, right now? I'll do it if that means I get to keep you! I just want to keep your cock Edward! Please don't punish me and take it away!" I pretended to cry as I watched the horrified look on his face turn to one of amusement.

"Bella, you're just a fuck! Keep that in mind, now suck my cock!"

**Edward's Point of View**

I was going over the fiscal year's business, when Bella came in and attacked me with her milk. I had no damn idea why she was mad at me. I was just about to ask what the hell I did when I read her note. I knew I should've stopped the act before it went farther but I couldn't help but get aroused at our sexual banter.

After I told her to suck my cock, she giggled slightly and grabbed a few tissues to wipe at the spilled milk on my crotch. Yes my member had woken up and taken notice that she was touching him even if it was in an innocent manner.

She smiled and went back to her couch giving me some stupid frustrating line of how she'd let me get back to my work – that the milk residue would make it look like she'd actually sucked my cock. The fact that she wasn't was what made me go insane. I couldn't focus on my work. All I kept thinking about was how I didn't want this to be all for show. I wanted her to actually be sucking my cock - to make good on her promises.

###

I was sitting across from her but pretending to read my papers. I looked up at her while she continued to read her magazine. I took in her beautiful features, her long mahogany hair, her stunning eyes – the pretty brown ones that I'd fallen in love with the first time I'd seen her, and her luscious lips that should be wrapped around my cock.

I knew she could sense me staring at her. Her cheeks had flushed but she continued to pretend to read.

I studied her lips and her facial structure which never seemed to change. I told myself it had been a while since the two of us had really been together. I knew despite my behaviour that she still loved me, that she still craved me as much as I craved her.

I missed her body. She was in great shape. Her curves could do so much to a man, and even though I had seen her naked a number of times, every time I saw her I felt like I had never truly seen her before. Her breasts, her long winding hips, and her thighs that went on for miles were as gorgeous to me as the day I'd met her.

The bigger she got in her pregnancy, the more I found her body to be attractive. Her curves more profound, her hips larger, curvier, and her belly that had the smallest of bumps was the most beautiful thing in the world to me. She was carrying my child and that in itself was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever witnessed in my life.

I smiled and felt like telling her my thoughts. I closed the folder I was currently going over and watched her continue to pretend to read.

"You're still gorgeous you know," I said.

She looked up at me to meet my stare, acknowledging that she'd heard me and went right back to reading her magazine. "Can I make love to you?" I asked.

She put down her magazine while raising her head to look at me. "Is that the best you can come up with?" she asked smiling. I smiled back and winked.

Still in her blouse and skirt, she placed the magazine down on the side table and stood. "Okay, I guess," she told me as if she was offering herself up but only as a chore. "I suppose I could."

I knew better. Once she came around the desk and reached my side, I took her hand lightly and turned her around. She was smiling again and so was I.

I undid the top button of her blouse. She watched my eyes intently, still smiling and trying to take in the moment, then she closed them taking in a deep breath of air.

"You have no idea just how crazy I am about you, do you? I asked.

Quietly she said, "I think I do." A small smile began again on her lips as she said it.

I kissed her lips softly but for a long while.

She loved those kisses; they were full of passion and longing. They weren't the sloppy, wet pecks that you give your whores to shut them the hell up. No. They were about the two of us and our love for one another. Tenderly, I licked her bottom lip before sucking it between mine then assaulted her top the same way. I teased her until she pulled me in harder capturing my tongue and claiming it as her own.

"Edward, all I want is you against me. Your body, your love, and all the fascinating sex we used to have once again," she moaned.

I looked at her questioning myself if I could do that again. Those days were amazing. We could go on for hours at a time.

I started to say something while I undid her fourth button, but she put a finger to my lips. "All I want is you, your body, and us naked, wildly shuffling across one another while I feel this." She grabbed at my swollen member. "All I want is you and your hard cock… that's all I want baby." She ended her remark batting her eyelashes at me and biting on the fingernail of her index finger.

We both smiled as I undid her last two buttons. Her beautiful full breast stared me directly in the face –so full and so curvy. I could feel myself wanting her more and more.

"What are you feeling right now? I asked.

Her eyes glassed over and a gentle smile crossed her face as she told me that she wanted to lie down against me and play around. How she wanted to take her pretend acting from before and make it a reality. I liked that Idea… her nakedness against mine. What a nice way to spend the rest of my day.

I pulled her in, holding her closely and lovingly. I kissed her lips just as her hands found my hair and tugged as if she'd never felt it before. I reached for the buttons, undid them and pulled it off, allowing the material to flutter and pool to the carpeted floor below us.

"God you're so beautiful," she hummed taking in my bare chest.

"Good." I replied. "I would hope so."

"Don't worry Edward… there aren't any other men out there that compare to you."

With her shirt undone and her bra still on, my hands flirted upwards on her stomach. She closed her eyes as she felt my hands coming closer to her breasts.

"Touch them, suck them, squeeze them, oh God yes! Feel me!"

She gazed at me for a moment before she spoke, "I like how you make me feel." Her hands dropped to undo my belt and as my pants fell to the ground, I stepped out of them,. My hands lovingly swiped across her breasts and upper body. I then undid her skirt and it fell to the ground pooling below our feet alongside my pants and shirt.

"Ready?" she asked and I smiled.

"Always." We laughed harmonically together as I turned her around and ran my hands down the back of her thighs. I cupped just behind her knees and propped her ass up onto the desk top, suddenly stilling any and all humour between us.

I pulled her body close to mine and before she knew it I was kissing her madly. "Mmm… I've always loved the way you kiss me," she said.

My hand flitted down her back, finding her bra clasp. With one swift click, her bra was mangled on the floor greeting our cotton and silk pile.

As her beautiful breasts unfolded before me, my mouth found itself crossing over them. I loved her more than ever and I knew she loved me just as much.

Her forehead leaned against my chest while her hands made their way down my abs. Slowly, I could feel the warmth of her breath around my navel and soon following after were the softest of kisses.

Her feet dangled in a childlike manner for only a second, and before I knew it, she had propelled herself from the desktop, turning me around so that my back was now against the desk.

I smiled knowing that she loved to pin my chest down as she kissed it and rubbed it fondly. Now on top of me, she leaned down to kiss my stomach once more. I lay feeling her tender kisses but watching her breast as they hung just begging me to take control of them. I reached out unable to control myself any longer and fondled her orbs while she kissed and petted my upper torso.

I watched her taking in my fondling. She smiled and reached her arms above her head allowing me to have what I desired. I sat up while she still straddled me and dove down into her cleavage, going at them hungrily. My actions made her even hornier. She loved how I not only kissed them both but licked and sucked at them as well and I knew that she loved it more when I licked her nipples because I saw each one grow to a monstrous size.

I pinned her down. Her legs resting on my hips, running my hands down her body until my palm cupped her core. She cried out for more. I pulled her panties off to the side and felt her heat. Her pussy was dripping wet in desire for me. It had missed me just as much as I had missed it, it seems. My two fingers parted her folds finding her little clit. Strategically, I placed it between my fingers and petted it up and down in a slow rocking motion. This drove her crazy.

Bella was twitching and begging me to give her more, so I smiled and slowly slithered my way down her until I was face to face with her sweet and wet pussy. Before long, she was humming away as my tongue, swirled and bore into her pussy. Her legs were wild. Her body dipped, jumped and heaved mightily as I made her feel orgasmic.

"Oh, God… Oh, Ah… Oh… Mmm!" she yelped loudly. She loved every second of it and even though I knew that all my employees could hear her moans of pleasure, I wouldn't stop. I couldn't. I never wanted to hear anything else as long as I lived.

"Oh, yes! Oh, fuck yes!" she spat out passionately. "More baby! More!"

I bore into her cunt licking it feverishly. Her ass rose and dropped crazily. Her body twisted and turned, and I remained inside her. I licked the wet and warm depths of her canal. Suddenly, she screamed so loud that I knew for damn sure everyone was getting a good listen.

She orgasmed something dramatic which came along with exquisite movements throughout her body. Her body went haywire moving in every direction. Bella stared at me hungrily getting off on how I'd done her and seeing that I was hard for her.

I climbed her body, taking hold of my shaft and running it along her slick, wet folds until I'd entered her. We both moaned out at the initial contact. I stilled inside her not moving, feeling her walls contract around my thickness.

"Mm, I love that," she said. "Ohh… that feels so… it feels so good… you in me like that." She sucked a breath through her teeth as she let another moan escape her lips. I watched as she took a deep breath of air, her tits rising high into the air as her pussy swallowed up my cock.

She brought me down on top of her, pulling me against her body. She continued to tell me how much she loved feeling me inside her.

Not pumping her madly, we lay together affectionately with my cock still buried inside of her. I could feel myself wanting it… wanting to let go all I had for her.

"Go on and do me… fuck me because I know you want to… I do." she said softly.

It amazed me that she always knew exactly what I was thinking.

I pumped her like I was beating myself off. I didn't go slow. I didn't waste anymore damn time. I'd played with all her goodies and now I just needed to go off inside her and it wasn't long before I was doing just that. She loved it. She loved feeling me blowing rampantly inside her.

With her eyes closed, she smiled and told me that she loved me and that I was the greatest man in the world. That I knew how to make love and she loved that about me.

Afterward, we lay side by side on top of my desk, playing with her pert nipples. Papers cluttered the floor below and I didn't care. After we had taken a few breaths, I put my hands around her, pulling her close against me then kissed her shoulders and neck. She murmured how she loved it but that someone could walk in at any moment.

"I dare them," I growled.

All I needed right now was to hold her, kiss her and smell her. She was my world. She was going to be the mother of my child… my child! Shit!

"How's the baby? Are you ok? I'm sorry. I got carried away. I didn't' want to hurt you. Are you hurt?" I panicked, sitting up on the desk and taking her face into my hands.

"Edward, I'm fine, really. The baby is protected. You can't hurt it."

"I don't know. My cock is pretty big. What if I hit him in the head or some shit like that?"

She laughed loudly before taking my hand and placing it on her stomach. "Every man thinks this way and it's completely normal, but no matter how big you are Edward, your cock can't hit the baby. Of course when we get farther along we'll have to be more creative in our positions." She laughed.

###

Bella didn't want to wait until after hours to leave, she wanted everyone to know what we'd just done. The entire ride home all I kept thinking about was the look on their faces. It was priceless.

Some men were in awe of me and others were embarrassed –oddly enough. Bella filled me in on the way home about her and Bree's talk. She went on to tell me of her plan to make the entire company think it was her fault that I hadn't been around and in doing so Bree slipped and made Bella aware that she was the one who gave me the cocaine.

I never wanted Bella to find out that it was Bree. I realized after this morning that I let it slip that it was a woman who'd supplied my deadly habit. It wasn't that I was afraid Bella would get mad about the dealer being a woman. I knew that she'd be upset whether or not it was a man or a woman. It was the fact that I didn't want there to be any drama. If it was a man she'd tell him off just as much as a woman. I told her because I wanted to be honest with her. I wanted her to know because if I felt weak and it was offered, I would have someone to call for support.

Bella was a great woman. The greatest woman I'd ever come to know. She was strong, confident, kind, honest and beautiful. I'd missed the way things were in the beginning but I couldn't help but think about where our lives would take us.

We were about to be parents in five months give or take and although it frightened me it also made me believe in second chances. I was always the straight and narrow kind of guy, even with my whores, and this whole incident with the drugs wasn't me at all.

I told Bella that I thought maybe counseling might help and she agreed, telling me that she'd support whatever decision I made. I honestly couldn't figure out why the hell I'd done them other than I was stressed the hell out, but that's no excuse. I'd read somewhere once that Marijuana was a gateway drug, well why the hell did I skip a step and get right into the heavy shit? It's beyond me. I'd never even remotely tried any sort of drug and I wasn't even that much of a drinker. I'd have to say that sex was my drug of choice. Anyways I figured that maybe going to a councilor would help me figure out what the hell was going on with me. At least it seemed like a good idea at the time.

###

Bella called through my bedroom door, "Are you ready?"

I gave myself another look over in the mirror, "Yep, I'll be right out!" I had no damn idea why I was so nervous about seeing this shrink. "Edward, do you really think he's going to care what the fuck you wear?" I asked myself.

_I was completely fucking mad. _

Bella called down for Felix, notifying him that we were about to leave the condo. She still knew that I was worried as hell for her and when she was here in my place, she promised to always notify Felix every time she or I left.

When we got in the back of the car and told the driver where we were going, I looked down at my hands. They were shaking. I had to place them between my legs so it wasn't so apparent. I felt like I was a kid scared shitless of the dentist.

When we arrived, I told the driver to take Bella and Felix to the mall. I gave Bella one of my many credit cards and kissed her goodbye, telling her that I'd see in her a few and that I loved her. I stood on the sidewalk watching as the car drove into the busy oncoming traffic.

When they were completely out of my sight, I looked up to the tall grey and brown sign that hung above the door "Think you're crazy? Give us a chance to prove you wrong! The Voltori."

I chuckled at their cleaver advertisement and entered into the building.

###

"Hi there, I'm Heidi. How can I help you today?" The cute little young blonde lady asked from her desk.

I smiled. "I'm Mr. Cullen. I believe I have a nine o'clock with Dr. Voltori?"

"You'll have to be more specific I'm afraid we have three Dr. Voltori's here today."

"I have no idea. I was just told nine am and Dr. Voltori.." I stiffened, tugging at my now tight as hell tie.

She smiled, "No problem we'll just look you up in the computer. Ah yes here you are, you're going to be seeing Dr. J. Voltori today. Just have a seat and we'll call you in when we're ready."

"Thank you," I said and walked over to the row of empty chairs before me.

I was suddenly glad that there was no one here to recognize me. It even seemed like the nice secretary didn't know who I was. I suddenly felt more relaxed as I took my seat. I shuffled around a bit trying to make myself more comfortable in that plastic, orange chair and it was impossible.

My right leg bent over my left then my left over my right. I turned on my right ass cheek then the left crossing my legs each time but nothing in the world about those chairs and that place made me feel at all comfortable.

I gave in and reached for a damn "girly" magazine. Upon opening it, I heard the little bell above the door ring, indicating that someone else was about to walk into my nightmare. I buried my face as far into the damn magazine as I could.

"Edward, is that you?"

I peeked over the top of the magazine to see a very smiley Bree. I sighed and placed the book down. "What brings you to a place like this?" I asked.

"Oh, well, I have this boyfriend and well… things are a little rocky at the moment." She said.

I couldn't understand at all how she could be so honest about her affairs, but hell, she had a boyfriend so I wasn't complaining. Perhaps she'd leave me alone after all.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it works out for the two of you." I said.

She blushed. "Oh, I'm not too sure about that Edward. I've been keeping my options open and so far I like what I'm seeing." She smiled.

_Shit!_

"Mr. Cullen, Dr. Voltori will see you now." Heidi called out from behind her desk.

I stood to greet her gaze and turned back to Bree.

"Oh, I see, well just remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side."

###

When I arrived at the office of Dr. J. Voltori, the door was already open. I heard a woman's voice talking on the telephone. I stood at the doorway not wanting to interrupt. Her back was to me as she waved me in, continuing to talk on the phone.

"Have a seat, Mr. Cullen," she instructed.

I did as I was told while taking in all the awards, degrees, and family photographs that were scattered all around the room.

"I'm sorry about that, Mr. Cullen. Family affairs I'm afraid."

She was an attractive blonde woman, short it seemed from where I was sitting. Her feet barely touched the floor below her chair, and I'm sure if she wasn't wearing the five inch black heals she had on they wouldn't be touching at all.

Her blonde hair was pulled back into a very neat bun which accented her dark black framed glasses that slid down her nose. Her attire didn't scream out "Doctor." It was more "I'm a science teacher." Her pencil grey skirt appropriately came down to her knees and her white blouse had frills all down the front. Her matching sports grey coat hung loosely on the back of her chair.

Our conversation went on and on about what I wanted to know, how I felt, and what was wrong with me. It wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be like. I wanted her to tell me what the hell was wrong with me.

"Lady, if I knew what the hell was wrong with me I wouldn't have a need to be here now would I?"

I stood from my chair before her, aggravated at best and headed for the door, "I think we're done here. This was a huge waste of time."

"Wait! Mr. Cullen, please don't go. Hear me out and then you can make your decision on whether or not you'd like to stay."

I turned around, "With all due respect, Dr. Voltori, I'm a very busy man I don't like to waste my time."

"Jane, please call me Jane."

"Alright, Jane, but I really must get going. I'm sorry for wasting your time this morning."

She grabbed my shoulder, "Mr. Cullen, I too have been where you are. It's not an easy road to recovery and you can't do it by yourself. I understand that you have a wonderful and supportive woman at your side, but obviously she's not enough or you wouldn't have come here today."

"You don't know anything about Bella!" I growled.

"Yes, of course you're right, I don't. I was just pointing out that although she's been so wonderful to you, so strong; you still felt the urge to book an appointment with me. Why is that?" she asked.

"I don't know. I guess it's just the fact that I'm about to be a father and I'm scared shitless that all of this will make me a bad father," I blurted.

"I see, so the issue today isn't that of substance abuse it's the fact that you're frightened on becoming the "perfect father?" She used air quotations.

"No, I mean yes, I mean, fuck, I don't know. My whole world has changed in the last few months, some good, some bad and I guess I'm just scared of all this change. I'm scared I won't be a good father for my child." I sat back down in my seat while she straightened out her skirt and took her seat across from me.

"Mr. Cullen, there is no such thing as a 'perfect father.' You can better yourself, of course, and it's normal to want to give your child a better life than the one you had. As one makes mistakes, we are to learn and grow from them. We can't learn anything if we don't make mistakes… understand?"

I smiled and immediately felt more at ease.

"I'm not here to tell you how to fix your issues. I'm here to listen. I can't tell you how to live your life or what decision you should pick. Your life, you're rules."

"I thought you were supposed to fix fucked up people?" I laughed.

"Mr. Cullen, I merely lend a non-bias ear. I don't judge and sometimes that's all one needs. I'm someone to listen and not judge. I have a little homework assignment for you. I want you to take the week and jot down what it is that bothers you about becoming a father and what it is that excites you in becoming a new father. You might surprise yourself." She smiled handing me a small blue notebook and a few pens.

I nodded and headed out of her office.

I suddenly felt a whole lot better. I knew that this assignment to most might seem like a stupid childish one and something that I should know already, but I didn't look at it that way and in fact I never even thought about the pro's of becoming a father. I'd never wanted kids and now I was all hung up on the cons.

I was smiling until I smacked right into the one and only Jacob Black.

* * *

**Hey there ladies and gents. What do you think about Edward's 180? Do you think he's going to keep the straight and narrow path or fall off the wagon? As for Bella, how do you all see her now? What are your thoughts on Bree? Oh and that damn Jacob is back, what do you think he's going to do now? Of all places for Edward and him to meet lmao! **

**Anyhow leave me a review and let me know**


	16. Chapter 16 Tainted Curse

**Chapter 16**

**Tainted Curse**

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**AN:/ I'm going to let the chapter speak for it's self. There is a lot going on here and a lot that is reveled. There are no warnings.**

**S.M owns all things Twilight, no copy right was intended. **

**I just want to thank my wonderful, all-knowing and supportive Beta's LaShawn and Dee you guys are awesome. Everyday I learn something new from the two of you. Thank you will never be enough!**

**Big shout out to all my wonderful readers, reviewers, followers and friends. It's because of you that I continue to write. Without the support and love that you've all shown me I would've given up long ago.**

**Thanks to everyone who's been so supportive and encouraging. It will never be forgotten.**

**That's enough… Happy reading too all.**

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**Edward's Point Of View **

I was starting to feel a little better leaving Dr. Voltori's until I smacked into the one and only Jacob Black.

"Edward Cullen… it seems the world has frozen over."

I growled. "What are you going on about Jacob?"

"Bella fucked you up just like the rest of us poor saps." He laughed.

It took everything in me not to hit his fucking ass. Oh, but I wanted to. I couldn't deny the urge.

"No one is prefect Jake, and as far as Bella and I are concerned, we're just fine. Thanks for asking." I smiled and headed right for the door.

After hitting the busy streets, I looked back, and Jacob was hot on my ass.

I sighed, "Jacob I really don't have time for this."

"I just wanted to let you know that I haven't given up on Bella. She'll be mine again. You just wait and see." Jacob poked my chest.

I looked down at his bulky index finger which was now pressing hard in-between my pecks. I couldn't believe that he would think his finger would intimidate me. At best he was nothing more than a child trapped in a man's body.

I realized in that moment that I had what he wanted. _I'd won._ Nothing he said now mattered to me. He was nothing more than an adolescent –a no body to me.

"Jacob, listen to me. Bella and I are together. We're having a baby. We're going to be a family, and despite what you may think of me, I will be with her for as long as she will have me."

"That's just it Edward. Bella didn't leave me because she fell out of love with me… no. Bella left me because of my addictions to drugs and women. I'm getting better but I can't say the same about you."

I looked at him a little interested in what was on his mind.

"That's right. I know all about little Miss Emily and your coke. It's only a matter of time before Bella finds out." He laughed.

"Jake, let me stop you right there before you make a complete ass out of yourself. Bella knows all about Emily and the coke and yet she's still by my side. The difference between you and me is that I learn from my mistakes and I don't beat on women."

I wanted to say a lot more. Trust me I did, but right then and there Bella and Felix parked the car alongside the curb. I smiled back at Jake as Bella opened the door and ran to my side. He was shocked to say the least that she didn't even address him. She was still scared of him; this was apparent all over her face. I wasn't going to have Bella scared any longer, nor did I want her any closer to him, let alone talking to the bastard.

When we were in the car, Bella asked me repeatedly about Jacob. I wanted to answer her but I had a lot on my mind.

Jake wasn't entirely wrong in his assumptions about me. I too was a woman user as well as addicted to money, sex and now drugs. How was I any different from him? Of course I didn't beat on Bella, but I'd broken her heart just as much as he had. How could she still love me, trust me, or even look me in the face after everything that I'd done to her?

I knew she was a good woman but I never realized just how good and pure she really was. For a woman to put up with so much neglect, abuse, and heartache was phenomenal. She never once asked me for anything. She never once gave up on us and never once turned her back on me, even though she should have countless times.

It was time for me to show Bella just what she was to me.

Even though I had spent only an hour with Dr. Jane, I really started to understand myself better. Perhaps she was right. All I needed was someone outside the situation to just listen to my concerns. I also made the decision that even though Jane wanted me to make a list of the pros and cons of becoming a father that I also needed to make a list of all the things I wanted out of life. Sort of like a bucket list, only it wasn't before I died. It was things I wanted to do before my child was born.

"Felix, we need to make a detour, please!" I shouted in excitement.

"Where to, sir?"

"My parent's house."

###

When we arrived at my parent's home, Bella stared up at the white building before her. She looked so sad and no doubt reminiscing of the last time she'd stepped foot in their home.

I got out of the car and made my way towards her door. Just before I opened it, my parent's stepped out on the front door steps to greet me. I looked up at my mother's face the moment I opened the door and Bella's dainty hand was in mine.

To say that my mother was unhappy to see Bella exit the car would be an understatement. She'd made it clear the last time we'd come that Bella wasn't in our class of people. Well, after today she'd have no choice but to accept Bella.

Bella looked up at me with fear in her eyes.

I hated that my mother could be so cruel to the woman I loved. My mother was always a kind and caring person, but it seemed that all the years of being given what she wanted had taken its toll on her. She was no longer the sweet and caring mother I'd come to love. She was nothing more than a greedy, selfish woman who cared about what others thought of her. To give her the benefit of the doubt though, I too was exactly like her before meeting Bella, but for once in my mother's life this wasn't about her.

"Edward, what a nice surprise," my father cooed.

"Dad, Mom," I greeted.

"Bella, you look lovely. It's so nice to see you again." He took Bella by surprise when he embraced her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, it's nice to see you as well," Bella politely greeted.

We all stood there awkwardly until my father told us to come in out of the cold. It wasn't long after that, we were sitting in the den on the red satin love seat across from my mother and father. A roaring fire was to the left of us, coffee and tea in front of us, along with my mother's wine –of course. My father was smiling where as my mother twitching with nervousness.

"Edward, Bella, what brings you by this evening?" my father asked.

I smiled and wrapped my arm around Bella. "Bella and I have an announcement to make."

My father jumped right out of his seat and embraced me. "I knew it! Oh, son, congratulations. I can't tell you how happy you've both made me today. To think I'll soon have the daughter I've always wanted!"

"Dad, Bella and I aren't getting married… yet anyways." I winked at Bella.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I just assumed… " He seemed so disappointed. My mother on the other hand –her smile had reappeared on her face.

"But we do have some news." I grabbed Bella's hand in mine; giving it a gentle squeeze to let her know that everything was going to be just fine.

My father was on the edge of his seat waiting for me to tell him our news. My mother was staring at the civil war painting on the wall behind us. No doubt they were both very aware of what I was about to tell them.

"Well, it seems you're going to be grandparents." I smiled. "Bella's pregnant."

"Really!" My father shouted and once again embraced me into a massive bear hug. "Oh, Bella, I can't tell you how happy this news makes me." He cried wrapping Bella's small frame in to his chest.

I looked over at Bella and even though my father's reaction had startled her, she was smiling. I was happy that I'd made the right assumption in telling my parent's without Bella's go ahead. I wanted her to always be this happy… to know that I loved her more than anything or anyone else. I wanted her to know I was happy –she was going to make me a father.

It was all smiles and tears until my mother spoke.

"Well we'll have to make a doctor's appointment to be sure," my mother said.

"Mother, we've already done that and Bella is about three months pregnant," I hissed.

"Oh I don't doubt that she's pregnant, dear. I just simply meant that we'll have to do a paternity test to be certain that the baby is yours." She smiled.

"Mother, that won't be necessary!" I shouted.

She turned her head to address Bella. "I'm sure you understand, don't you dear?" she asked sweetly.

"Mrs. Cullen, if it would make you feel better to know that your son knocked up a whore then by all means set up your appointment. I have nothing to hide." Bella said as my mother nodded.

"That's not going to happen! This is my baby and Bella you're not a whore! I'm so sick of your snooty remarks mother! It's time for you to accept Bella as a part of my life and the mother of my child. I plan to marry this woman someday and you'll learn to accept her or do without me and your grandchild!" I screamed standing from the couch.

"Son, please don't go. Your mother is just overly protective. You know this. Please let's all just calm down and talk about this rationally." My father begged.

"Protective? No she's just a snooty rich…" I paused and took a deep breath. "Woman who thinks the world owes her a favor. Let me tell you something, mother. I love you but I hate who you've become. My child will never know this world. I will _not_ have my child grow up like me!"

"And just what's that supposed to mean Edward? You've never wanted for nothing. You've always had the world at your fingertips because of how hard your father and I worked. It's because of us that you sit on your throne at Cullen and Son's. All you are is an ungrateful child. You've always wanted more, more, more and now you're here trying to rip out what remains left of my heart." She sat back on the couch and wiped the back of her right hand across her forehead while the other heeled her wine glass gently on her crossed legs –heaven forbid she set the damn thing down.

"You've worked hard? You! My father was the one who busted his ass, not you! You didn't even raise me. Did you forget about the countless nannies', maids and butlers that looked after Jasper and I? All you ever did was sit in here and drink your fucking wine! As for the business, you can have it! I don't want it if this is what you think of me. I've done nothing but work my ass off to get to the top, but of course you didn't take your eyes off of your glass for ten minutes to even notice! Fuck it! We're out of here!" I practically yanked Bella up and towed her along with me.

"Edward, please wait!" My father yelled from behind us.

I never looked back. I placed Bella in the car, shut her door, got in, and told Felix to take us back to my condo.

After a few minutes of silence, I pulled Bella into my arms. "I want you to know that no matter what my mother said in there, I know this is my baby. I will never want anything more in my life than the two of you." I placed my thumb and finger under her chin for her to look at me.

"Love, wipe those tears away. She doesn't deserve them. I love you and nothing in this world is going to change that. She'll come around. It may take years, but she'll come around."

"How do you know, Edward?" she asked.

"Because it's taken her years to get here and it will take years to undue what's been done. I know that my mother is somewhere in there. She wasn't always like this. That's just her shell you're seeing." I smiled and kissed her softly on the lips.

"When will our life be more than chaos and drama?" Bella cried.

"No one and nothing else matters. Just you, me, and our baby" I wiped her fallen tears with the pad of my thumb.

###

A few months passed and Bella was almost five months pregnant. We told _her_ family our good news and of course the only person that seemed to be happy for us was Billy. That conversation was one that I'll forever remember. He was more of a father to Bella then Charlie and I was grateful for his blessing.

Bella was lucky to have someone like Billy in her life. Somehow amongst all the darkness in her life, she'd managed to find him. I couldn't express to you how much I cared for this man. How much I felt like I owed him for showing her what real and unconditional love was all about.

It's strange that this man held no blood lines to Bella, but he loved her like his own regardless of DNA. He was a far better man than most, and I had a lot to learn to _ever_ compare to such a man. I looked at him as a role model. He came from nothing but a long line of mechanics and even though he didn't have much, he still found it in his heart to be there for Bella.

My father had called moments after we'd left the house, begging me not to leave the company. He told me to take some time off and think things through. He went on to say that I had a baby on the way and I needed to think about that.

_Oh I was thinking about that. _

I loved my father, of course, and he'd been a great many things to me, but was I willing to fuck up my child with money? I mean, the money had fucked me up? I wanted to be more like Billy… have more time with my children, and be there emotionally. If I were to stay on at Cullen and Son's there was no way I could do that.

I wasn't sure what I wanted, but today I knew I had one more person to tell, and he was the only person in the world that seemed to understand what I was going through. I needed to tell my brother. I needed Jasper.

###

It had taken me all of three minutes to get a hold of him and find out what coffee shop he was playing in. He was excited to see me. It had been far too long since we'd seen one another and I missed him terribly.

When I arrived at the little shop, Covenant was just wrapping up their big number. The girls were going crazy at Jasper's pelvis thrusts. It always amazed me that his band could pull in a huge crowed no matter where they were. Jasper was offered a record deal many years ago but he turned it down, just like he did Cullen and Son's. Jasper was what you would call a hippie. He'd always just loved to live day by day and never cared about money.

One time he brought his band home and they were just as shocked as Bella that we had money. Of course he'd always just bummed around and borrowed change when he could. He wasn't the type of man that you knew had money.

"Edward!" Jasper shouted over the crowed for me to follow him into a back room.

The moment we were in some office, he sat me down and told me to spill. He always knew when there was something on my mind.

"Jasper, how do you do it? I mean live your life without all the money and still be happy?" I asked ashamed of myself.

"It's not hard. It's something that just becomes you. I know if I wanted to be head of the company I could've been, but that's not me. That's you Edward. You're the one that worked hard to get there and you're the one that deserves to be in that seat," He eyed me while talking.

"I know what you're saying, but it just doesn't seem like me anymore."

"Then it's not you, simple as that. We can't live our lives the way someone else wants us to. If you want to be a bum like me then be a bum like me. We could always use another guitarist. When's the last time you even picked up a guitar? Do you still know how to play?" He laughed.

I laughed wholeheartedly. "I still got it." I blew on my fingers.

"Alright, tell me what's going on?"

"Bella's pregnant and of course mother doesn't approve. I just want to be a good father, Jasper, and I don't want to destroy my baby the way that our mother destroyed us."

"Wow, congrats man."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"So let me get this straight. You think that by working at Cullen and Son's that the money will ruin your child's life?" he asked.

"Yes, look what it's done to me, Jasper. You were lucky that you realized at a young age that money was a tainted curse."

"Edward, money is just paper with green dye on it. It doesn't matter how much or how little of you have. What matters is how we use it."

"What do you mean?" I looked up at him from my lap.

"Look, Dad is still the same. The money never changed him. Mom allowed the "lifestyle" to change her. I chose to go down this path because it was simply what made me happy. _You_ just have to know how to deal with it."

"But look at who I was, Jasper. I mean… just look at what I've done with my life." I placed my head in my hands only to feel them being pried away from my face.

Jasper turned me around and had me face a small mirror on the wall. "Yes, Edward just look at what you've become. I've seen a selfish, misguided little boy turn into a strong, loving and caring man. You know how I know that?" he asked me.

"No. How?" I asked half smirking.

"Because, you're worried for someone else. You're worried about the welfare of your baby."

I smiled and was at ease for what felt like the first time in years. I've always looked up to my big brother, and he's never let me down.

"What is it that _you_ want Edward?" he asked.

I looked at him for few minutes and then it hit me. I think I've always known for a long time what it was that I wanted, but I needed his help.

"Jasper, I want to buy Izzy's place for Bella and I to run. I know that place holds such a tainted and depressing memory for her, but I also know that it will always hold a piece of her heart of what could've been. I think we could fix it up and make it a high-end restaurant. We could work together, and I can give her the life that she's always wanted. The life she was intended to have all along."

Jasper curled up his nose. "I don't think it would be wise to live above the bar in the same apartment that she and Jacob lived in."

"No. You're absolutely right. We'll have to renovate. Those apartments are way too small anyway. We'll make the whole upstairs a condo. She'll love it!" I shouted out in excitement.

"Well, far be it for me to stand in the way of a crazed man." Jasper laughed.

"Do you know who bought the dump?" Jasper asked.

"No, do you?" I eyed him.

"I do, but I don't think you're going to like the answer."

"Who?" I asked.

"Dad."

**Bella's Point Of View**

It had been a while since I'd been back to my apartment. Edward had asked me several times to give my notice, but I just couldn't. It wasn't that I didn't trust Edward; it was just that it held a piece of my independence and I wasn't quite ready to give that all up yet… until today.

My landlady was very sad to see me go but told me that if I ever needed a place she would gladly find something for me. The movers had me packed up and moved all of my belongings within the hour. It seemed so utterly bare standing in the apartment I occupied for a few months. It felt like I had finally closed the sad chapter in my life, and I was going to live happily ever after.

Edward hasn't touched or craved cocaine. His doctor sure seems to be helping him. He's a totally different man now a days and I love that. We're both very different now. His mother still hasn't come around but his father calls every day to check on us.

There's just something about his mother that I can't help but want her to like me. There is kindness behind her eyes – this I can see, but I don't know what I can do for her to accept me. It hurts me something terrible that she won't be a part of our baby's life simply because she doesn't approve of my upbringing. Hell, I don't either, but it's all I had.

Billy had been the one and only person from my family that has shown me any sort of support. What kind of fucked up family am I bringing my poor baby into?

Suddenly, I sat on the floor, my legs flat out in front of me as I sulked uncontrollably, shoveling spoonful's of mint ice cream down the back of my throat, along with dill pickles. I was going to be a horrible mother. I just fucking knew it.

"Love, what's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Nothing" I wiped at my nose. "This was in the freezer. I couldn't let them throw it out." I sniffled as he smiled and helped me to my feet.

"There's a whole tub of it at the condo. No sense crying over melting ice cream." He laughed.

"I'm a balloon!" I slapped my ass and cried some more while he took the ice-cream from my hands and set it down on the counter.

"You're sexy, beautiful, and stunning." He smiled and slapped my ass. "Now, get in the car."

I smiled at his demand. I loved when he told me what to do. It was so sexy. I knew that he only meant it playfully, of course, but it always turned me on.

"Where are we going, Edward?" I asked.

"Have you forgotten already? We're having an ultrasound today." He smiled.

I'd totally forgotten –call it pregnancy brain if you will. I was totally excited that Edward would be accompanying me to the appointment. The last time I'd gone by myself, and this time we could share the experience together.

When we arrived, a lady gave me two glasses of water and told me to drink both and within an hour they would call me to the back. I drank both as quickly as I could. A half hour went by, and I was crossing my legs in dire need of using the bathroom. Man, I felt like I was going to explode. My foot started tapping and I started to do the pee-pee dance in my seat.

"What's wrong, love?"

"I've got to go, Edward."

"You can't or you'll have to go through this all over again. Think about something else," he suggested.

"I can't!" I growled.

"Do you think we're going to have a boy or a girl?" he asked, catching me off guard.

"I don't' know. I never really thought about it too much. Maybe I should've… I mean… I don't really care what the sex is. Do you?" I asked.

"Nope not at all" he smiled and kissed my hand.

It wasn't long after that, we were called into a dark room. The moment the lady pushed the machine onto my stomach, I felt like I was going to burst at the seams. Only when I saw my baby's face, all of that went right out the window.

I couldn't believe how much my baby had grown. It was shocking to me that something that big even fit inside of me.

The lady went on to check all the baby's measurements and developments and at the end she asked us if we wanted to know the sex. I looked up at Edward at the same time he looked down to me.

"Do you want to know?" I asked.

"Do you?"

"Edward, don't be silly do we want to know or not?"

"If you want to wait, I can wait. If you want to know, I want to know." He smiled knowing damn well that he'd left the decision up to me and was very sly about it too, I might add.

I glared at him and then looked back at the lady. "Yes, we'd like to know, please."

She smiled back at me and asked me one more time if I was sure. I reassured her that we wanted to know and with that she congratulated us on having a baby girl. Edward jumped up from his little black stool and fist pumped the air. I couldn't control my tears. They streamed steadily down my face. I didn't care what we had, truly, but knowing that I was going to have a little girl was breathtaking.

"Daddy's little girl!" He shouted rubbing at my belly.

The technician lady laughed hysterically and once again congratulated us.

I was over the moon happy and my heart was fuller then it had ever been. I felt like it was about to rip right through my chest. Edward was beaming from ear to ear, and I have to admit that I couldn't get the shit eating grin off of my face.

It was official. We were going to be the proud parents of a little girl in just four months time.

###

After about a week, I got resettled in. Edward's condo was a place that made me feel at home, but it took a little getting used to living with someone again. Things finally seemed like they were going to work out for our family.

As the days come and went, all I kept thinking about was how my life had changed so rapidly. I often wondered what my life would have been like if I'd stayed with Jacob, because truth be told, if Edward didn't walk into my bar that day and stole my heart and soul, I'd probably still be with Jake.

I would've never found the courage to stand up to the man and get on with my life. I would've never been strong enough to know that I had to stand on my own two feet and I certainly wouldn't be this damn happy.

Sure, Edward had his down falls and it has taken me many months to figure out that no one is perfect, not even Edward.

Once I accepted that we all have faults –that we all make mistakes, I was able to take my insecurities and throw them right out the window. I mean no one knows what the future holds and if we don't take what's given when it's given, we let those possibilities pass us by. I'd done this most of my life. Never truly believing that I deserved any better than what I had, but now? Now I was given two of the best things in the world –the gift of becoming a mother and unconditional love from Edward… the man of my dreams. I would soon be surrounded with more love then I would know what to do with.

My life seemed like it was well worth all the torture, now. I know that sounds ridiculous, but to me, I knew what it was like to not have been loved and now I would know what it was like to be loved unconditionally. Therefore, I guess I just felt like I would appreciate it a little more than most.

Edward had my cell phone number changed because Jake had been calling. He wasn't doing anything bad. He'd said he was just checking in on me, but Edward felt that he was doing a hell of a lot more than that. I still don't know what was said between the two of them back at the Doctors office and I never asked again. I just trusted Edward's judgment and went with his decision without questioning him.

After I'd moved in with him, Edward suggested that we start looking for another place to live. I told him that he was being ridiculous, that I felt safe where we were. Felix was keeping a watchful eye and I was comfortable. Edward agreed with me, probably knowing damn well that I was right.

Edward hadn't been back to the office since he told his father that he no longer wanted to work for him. Carlisle had called me personally several times trying to get me to change Edward's mind. I understood that Carlisle wanted what was best for his son, but I told him that I didn't control Edward and he had to make up his own mind.

I never expected Edward to give up Cullen and Son's and I certainly grew concerned about how we'd support our family, but I never questioned him on it. I knew that no matter what we'd find a way.

Edward had a lot of demons in his closet –more than I was aware of, that's for sure, and I didn't want to over step my boundaries where that part of his life was concerned. He needed to figure out what he wanted all by himself. I didn't' want to be blamed for making this decision for him and he'd be pissed at me for making him do something that he didn't want to do.

In the long run, Edward was his own person and I was mine. We didn't own one another and for the first time in my life, I felt free. Free from all the restrictions of our past.

###

Today Edward told me that he had some errands to run as well as his appointment with Doctor Voltori. I asked him to drop me off at Emmett and Rose's place. I've wanted to see my friends for some time now.

When we reached Forks, Edward told me that he had some business to attend to down there. I found it strange that he not only had business in Forks but also that he had any business at all. He'd never mentioned to me that he was returning back to work. I smiled and kissed him before walking up the front steps of my friend's home.

I honestly didn't care if Edward went back to work and perhaps he'd just forgotten to tell me about it.

"Bells, oh I've missed you!" Rose yelled out.

"I've missed you too," I giggled.

She pulled back to get a good look at me. "Wow! You're really starting to show now. Just look at that bump!"

"Rose, are you going to invite me in or are you going to make me stand outside all damn day? I've got to piss so bad!" I hollered as she laughed and got out of my way.

When I arrived back from the bathroom, she was waiting in the kitchen for me holding a hot chocolate. We sat down at the table just talking. I'd missed her so much. She looked good too. There was no remembrance of what Jacob had done to her now. I loved that she was smiling and was happy once again. He hadn't stolen her spirit. She went on to tell me that Emmett had given Jacob a good damn beating for us both. I smiled in knowing that Emmett would always be a great husband to my Rose and I was glad that she'd found someone like that.

"Bella, I hate to bring this up, but well, you know me." She stared at me for a few minutes.

"Spit it out, Rose, whatever it is, spit it the fuck out." I laughed.

"It's not good and I'm afraid it might upset you and with your condition and all…"

"Well now you're upsetting me. Just say it already, Jesus!"

"There's a new secretary that took over while I was away."

"Yes, I'm aware. Her name is Bree."

"Well, I'm not one for gossip, but she's working for James now."

"I know that too, Rose." I shook my head.

"Well, she's telling everyone that Edward and you are separating. Is that true?"

I had to laugh. "No, Rose, that's not true. Edward and I are just fine. This is my own doing."

She looked at me cockeyed, "I don't understand."

I filled Rose in on everything after that. Every little detail and she was shocked that Edward had gotten himself mixed up in drugs, but relieved that he and I were doing well now. She was also angry with me that I hadn't told her about it.

"So, there, I know everything." I laughed.

"Oh but you don't," she said.

"What could she have possibly done now?" I asked.

"Jake is her boyfriend."

* * *

**Okay, so yeah a lot to take in. Bella and Edward are having a girl :) **

**What do you think about Jake and Bree being in a relationship? What do you think about Edward wanting to buys Izzy's? Oh so much to discuss. I want to hear it all so let me know what your thoughts are.**

**Thanks for reading**

**Until next time FanFiction**

**April.**


	17. Chapter 17 Edge of reason

**Chapter 17**

**Edge of reason**

* * *

**A/N: *Warning –there is a very detailed lemon in this chapter. Bella is pregnant and so to be realistic to the love making there is reference to her ever changing pregnant body. If you're **_**not**_** at all comfortable with it I ask that you please pass it by. You can rest a sure that you're **_**not**_** missing out on any of the plots. **

**Of course S. M owns all things Twilight related. No copy right was intended. I stake no clam to anything that is remotely close to her story line and or characters. **

**I want to first start out with thanking my wonderful Beta's. You get to read these chapters without all my damn mistakes because of them. They work hard and I owe them every little bit of credit that I can give them. LaSawn and Dee you two women have given me so much confidence in my writing and I wish that I could do more than just thank you. **

**To my wonderful readers and reviewers: I first want to welcome all the newbie readers I've received lately. I would also like to thank you all for your alerts, reviews and all of you who have marked my story as one of your favorites. **

**It has meant so much to me that my story has touched you, inspired you and down right encouraged you. (Among many other feelings lmao!) I never thought that MP would become this desired or liked for that matter. **

**Your emails, reviews, sharing and tweets about this story has been so heart felt. I've never felt more appreciated then I have in the last few months. I apologize for not getting back to all of you… I promise I will. **

**Now for my final thank you. To all of you who have tweeted and emailed asking how I've been, I really truly appreciate the love you've all shown me. **

**I am doing well we've got 5 weeks left to go before our son is brought into this crazy world. We're very excited and I'm very much done with being pregnant. LOL **

**As for my bug, I've FINALLY been able to shake it. **

**So from get well wishes to how are you doing … I thank you all for taking the time out of your day to worry about me. **

**I'm sending all my love to each and every one of you.**

**Now that's a long ass A/N lets get on with it! Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Bella's Point Of View**

Roller coaster's, oh how I hate them –this is the best word to describe my downward spiral I call a life. Last week Rose dumped the news of Jake and Bree's relationship into my lap. I wasn't jealous, hurt or even angry about their "said" relationship. I was concerned, worried and of all things scared –scared for her and for mine and Edward's relationship.

I couldn't help but wonder where this situation was going. Did Jake have some sort of hidden agenda? Did Bree? How the hell did they find one another amongst all the people in the world?

My thoughts continuously bothered me all week. Edward kept asking me what was wrong and I feared telling him because he'd been on edge so many damn times in the past few months. I knew that I would tell him of course, but I could never find the right moment to drop it on him. How would I go about it… at dinner… before a movie? When we said goodnight? There just never seemed to be the right moment. So for now I decided that I would keep it to myself.

Our relationship had grown and accomplished so much that I didn't want Jake and Bree to ruin what we'd worked so hard at developing, but on the other hand if we were to become stronger and trust one another I knew that something had to be said.

The other problem was that Edward had been gone for hours at a time every single day working and this made me feel like we never spent time with each other anymore.

###

I found myself sitting on the edge of Edward's king size bed starring at myself in the dresser mirror. I'd gained so much weight in the last few months that I felt like a damn whale. My eyes that were once full of light were now red and blood shot, with very dominant dark circles under them. I looked like a cancer patient –despite the weight gain. I was completely and utterly tired. Tired of drama, tired of tears and most of all I was just damn tired.

I'd said many times before that it was time for me to start over… that things were looking up, but no matter what I said we always seemed to go back down the same path. I knew that I was determined to try, try again, but this… this was ridiculous.

I was going to go down one damn path from now on and if I got steered in the wrong direction I wasn't taking a short cut to get to where I needed to be. Short cuts always lead to the middle of nowhere and you end up stuck asking some stranger for help.

I was in charge of my life and God help me I was going to take God damn charge of it.

Jake and Bree weren't winning. Why the hell did I care if they were an item? They couldn't hurt Edward and me –only Edward and I could allow them to hurt us.

No longer restrained by the demons who continuously take their long lanky hands to pry us apart, I felt a surge of strength wash through me. A moment of realization, one of which I felt inspired to do what I did next.

###

The wind was bitter, the leaves changing and fluttering about my feet. There's such a beautiful autumn sent in the air this morning that I'd be a fool not to inhale it. I went to my favorite bistro and grabbed myself a nice cup of hot chocolate and headed back out on to the not so busy streets of Forks.

Edward had asked me to meet him here today. I found it so strange that he'd been doing some work in my home town. However nothing can compare to the feeling of being home. I missed these streets, these people, these shops. I'd missed this place more than I ever thought possible.

I had made a promise to myself a month ago that I was going to roll with the punches. Take what life had to offer me by the balls and just be grateful that I was alive to be able to feel it all.

I'd taken it upon myself to meet with Bree later this afternoon. I'd tried to get a hold of her several times, but she never returned my calls. I hated that I had to get Rose involved, but after Rose spoke with her Bree had agreed to meet with me. First things first –I needed to meet with Edward.

I reached into my overly large black purse –one of which Edward always made fun of me for. I had my wallet, cell phone, lotion and keys –nothing more or less in it and he never understood why I needed such a large purse.

Being overly large wasn't the only problem that Edward had with my purse of course. He hated that it was out dated, fake leather –which he called pleather –It had cracked so bad that it looked like a jigsaw puzzle and the strap I had sown probably fifteen or more times. For the life of me I couldn't throw it away –I loved that damn ratty ole thing.

Of course fumbling with my purse and hot chocolate was probably not the smartest of things. I ended up spilling the damn hot chocolate all over my black army jacket, purple scarf and white t-shirt. I shook my hand ferociously –letting the Styrofoam cup fall to the side walk –trying my dandiest to get the sting out of my now burnt hand. What was worse was that I was really and I mean _really _craving that hot chocolate.

I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and realized that heading back five blocks just to get a hot chocolate wouldn't be worth being late for. I was sure Edward wouldn't mind stopping for another once we were done –but damn I really wanted that hot chocolate.

I stood on the sidewalk in front of a laundry mat, biting on my bottom lip, shifting my weight from leg to leg and then about faced and headed back to the bistro.

_What? I 'm pregnant and I've gotta get my fix._

After reordering and leaving the bistro I headed back down towards Cecil Street. Edward had offered to have his driver pick me up, but I wanted to walk. In fact I think I told him that my feet needed to dance along the sidewalks once in a while, so that the streets would know that I'd returned. It was silly I know but its how I felt. Edward thought me to be in a very strange mood, but he allowed it.

When I got just six blocks away I was already fifteen minutes late so I set my purse down on a windowsill –careful not to spill my hot chocolate this time and called him from my cell.

"Edward, I'm on Pine Street. I'm running just a little late. I'll be there in the next twenty minutes… give or take."

"Are you sure you don't want me to send Felix to come and get you?"

"No, that won't be necessary. Where on Cecil Street do you want me to meet you?"

"In front of Izzy's."

"I'm sure I won't be able to miss the place," I chuckled "see you soon."

With that we said our, "I love you's" and I was off again.

Walking down these familiar streets brought with it joy and sadness. Yes I had missed this place more than the stars in the sky, but I also didn't miss this place all at the same time.

I had grown up here in so many ways, but not in the ways that mattered. Before leaving Forks I was still that adolescent that had no idea what was going on in her life, but yet I did know and just seemed to not care about it. I was numb to the outside world and frozen in time so it seemed. I never thought that I would get out of this place and now here I am reminiscing about how much I'd missed a place that had brought all this torture and denial into my life… ironic isn't it? I suppose it doesn't matter how bad of a place your home town is… you're still _not_ going to find anywhere in the world quite like it and there will never be a place more home than where you grew up.

Walking past the butcher shop I realized that it wasn't the town, it was the people who were involved in my life at that moment in time, which made me miserable. And if I were to be completely and utterly honest it wasn't those people either… it was me –I'd allowed those people in my life and I couldn't blame a place or a person for my bad judgment.

Before long I was standing in front of Izzy's thinking about all the could've been's and should've been's in my life when I noticed Edward sitting on the front steps of Izzy's smiling at me. I smiled back of course; his smile just always seemed to make my day a little brighter. I ran to him like my life depended on it.

"Jesus, Bella, take it easy. You shouldn't be running in your condition." He scolded.

He was absolutely right of course –he's always right, but I was just so damn excited to see him.

"I was just so excited to see you. I feel like we haven't seen each other in months." I pouted.

Edward looked down at me while holding me in his arms. His eyes held a hint of excitement amongst the sadness that I'd just placed upon him. I had no damn idea what he was so excited about, but I wasn't lying when I told him I felt like I hadn't seen him in months.

"I know love. I'm sorry for being so distant these past few months. I've been so busy trying to get everything just right and yet I'm still nowhere near being finished." He stammered on.

I looked at him completely unaware of what the hell he was going on about,

"What is it that's been keeping you out of my reach?" I asked.

He smiled, "Izzy's has been keeping me away from you." He waved at the building while I continued to stare at his beautiful smiling face.

"I don't understand Edward?"

"I know that you sold Izzy's to my father and I in return bought it back from him. I've done some renovations to the place. I thought we could turn it into a fine dining place for families to have dinner and then later on in to the evening we could still have it as a bar, but only there will be a dress code to bring in a more classy cliental."

My head was spinning. I was excited that he'd done this all for me, but I was also upset that he hadn't involved me in the decision making. I knew that he was trying to be romantic –give me all my hopes and dreams and even I couldn't be mad at him for that, but… I felt like I had a right to know and decide for myself whether or not this was a road I wanted to go back down. At the very least we should've talked about this as a couple.

What was I going to do now? How do you tell the man you love, who's trying to make all your hopes and dreams come true that they're no longer your hopes and dreams? That they were dreams that were conjured up by another man and that you don't want to go down that path again… How do you do that?

Why was every decision in my life so god damn complicated?

Edward started at me, the smile no longer a dominant feature on his attractive face, "You're not happy"

I looked at his strangled features and placed my hand upon his cheek, "Edward, what made you think that this was a good idea?"

He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath through his front teeth before speaking. "I just thought that since you loved the place so much that I wanted you to see it grow to its full potential. I also thought since I'd quit Cullen and Son's that this would be our new adventure… one of which we'd be able to spend together as a family. I thought that we'd renovate the upstairs apartments and turn the entire upstairs into a condo for us to live in." He awkwardly rushed out.

I shushed him, "Edward, show me what you've done so far."

"Are you sure? I mean I could sell the place and we can find something else to run?"

I took his hand in mine, "It wouldn't be fair if I judged the place without even seeing the hard work that you've put into it."

Edward smiled at me and placed a yellow hard hat on to my head. I cringed when he tucked my hair behind my ear. I knew that I was far from sexy in this moment, with spilt hot chocolate all over the front of my white t-shirt, my big ole pregnant belly and a yellow hard hat that made me look like "Bob the builder" but I couldn't help but get aroused by his impressionable touch.

Edward was gleaming in all his glory.

When we first walked in there were sheets of see-through heavy plastic hanging from the ceiling –covered in white chalky dust –suddenly making my stained covered t-shit feel appropriate for the big reveal.

Once we got passed all the debris and into the open area of where the tables and chairs once stood… I stood there frozen in spot –mouth O gaped and eyes bulging. There was absolutely nothing left to Izzy's.

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist instinctively and he whispered in my ear, "I know it's a lot to take in. Take a moment and just picture some beautiful dark mahogany wood booths and black leather benches over here to the left."

I looked over to where the dance floor used to be and noticed that he didn't replace the mosaic ninetieth century windows that I loved so much. I could picture a couple sitting under those windows in the dark, yet beautiful and somehow private booths eating their meal… perhaps the man purposes to his love.

Edward ran his hand down my fore arm –momentarily taking me from my daydreams of lovers and proposals. His six o'clock shadow from working too damn hard softly caressed the side of my cheek as he gently pressed himself against my backside, slowly turning me towards the right.

My breathing hitched in my chest as his soft, seduction whispers continued on with the teasing words of his vision. "This here will be the new dance floor. It will be elegant, charming, yet flirty and sexual all at the same time. A place in the day where lovers can ballroom dance, or even waltz," He took my hand and spun me around. I giggled as my belly smacked in to his. He smiled down at me and then his eyes became tense and that smile was wiped clean off my face,

"At night the dance floor becomes a place of seduction –a thrill, a place for a tiger to hunt his pray –a place that nothing is held back, not pride, worry or fear –a place where seductive dancing becomes the ultimate high."

I shivered right there, my core moistening and my eyes closing as his strong hand caresses the side of my face. I couldn't control my shaky legs. Once again his soft hands wrapped around my torso as we glided it seemed across the room towards the bar –covered in a white drop sheet.

Edward let go of me long enough to pull back the sheet and reveal the bar to me. "This, my love I couldn't bear to change." His hand grazed the counter top, slowly sliding up and down its smooth surface as his eyes tightened and soft wrinkles formed around them –from his slightly side smirk.

Edward turned to me in that moment –placing his hand onto my seventh month belly, all the erotica that electrified the air only moments a go –now gone.

I rubbed my belly along with him complaining of how fat I felt. Edward took a step back and frowned at me,

"You're not fat. You're pregnant and you look absolutely stunning."

"Well I feel like a damn whale." I complained.

"You're not a whale love. In fact I think you're the most beautiful and sexy woman alive." He growled and nibbled on my neck.

I giggled, "You mean that?"

Edward pulled away from me ever so slightly and looked me directly in the eye. His eyes searching for the joke but there was none in the words I spoke.

"Of course love. You will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. You're carrying my child and to me that's sexy as hell. It shows me just how much you love me and I find that to be extremely erotic."

The problem was that even though I didn't feel sexy at all, I was more randy than before I was pregnant. As Edward continued to rub soothing circles on my belly I let a moan escape my lips,

"Oh that feels good."

Edward's breathing hitched and before long I could hear his moaning over my own.

"I think it's time to go upstairs and show you the new condo." He whispered.

I was disappointed that it seemed the mood was forever changing. I agreed and before long we were headed upstairs.

**Edward's Point Of View**

Bella looked absolutely stunning as a pregnant woman but no matter what I told her she just always felt fat.

Today she was beyond cute with her stained white t-shirt –covering her protruding bellybutton and her bright yellow hard hat. Most days I tried to be gentle… tried to contain the beast within. I wanted to ravish her in the worst possible way, but these days it was practically non-existent.

For the most part I didn't want her to feel like a whore, nor did I want to hurt her in anyway shape or form. The doc had given us a green light on having sex and man that day was the happiest day of my life. However Bella just couldn't get past her own insecurities long enough to let me truly appreciate the wonders and beauty of her ever changing shape.

She would always just shut the light off or keep her nightgown or shirt on. It was beyond frustrating for me especially when I found her full curvier body to be this damn arousing.

###

When we made it upstairs there was nothing special but a very large open space. Bella looked around for a few moments and then back at me. Her awkward –biting on her lower lip smile indicated to me that she was really starting to like this idea.

I told the workers to go home for the rest of the day and that we'd get an early start on it in the morning. They were happy to leave; in fact I think they practically fell over one another to get to the damn front door.

"Why Mr. Cullen I do believe you're working those boys way too hard." Bella teased.

I smiled back at her as I watched her index finger slide up and down my chest. She was feeling the sexual tension in the air… I could sense it.

"Edward, you seem so tense. Why don't you have a seat and I'll work out the knots."

I smiled at her as I took a seat on the carpet. Bella pulled out her stretch mark lotion from her purse. I smiled as her fingers hooked beneath my shirt. My hands reached out and grabbed them in an attempt to stop her –egg her on a little more –take what she wanted away from her. It seemed to work because she smirked back and pulled my shirt up and over my head within seconds.

Before long she was straddling my waist with her legs from behind me –her hands working feverishly at my shoulders. Her moans were deafening me to no return.

I turned to her, "Bella would you like me to rub some lotion on you now?"

"If you wouldn't mind" she smiled passing me the lotion, lifting her shirt over her head and leaving it just below her breast –exposing that beautiful bump of hers.

I knew that I was wearing my geeky ass grin, but god help me… I'd finally won with her.

I told Bella to lie back as she handed me the bottle of stretch mark lotion. She settled full length on the soft dark green carpet below, placing her hands above her head. I couldn't help but notice the large elastic waist of her pregnancy jeans tucked under her belly as the baby settled higher up, leaving me a view of her panties.

I poured a little of the cream into the palm of my hands to warm it up and then gently smoothed it onto her bump in a circular motion, only stopping to add more when her skin felt dry –until her entire belly was smooth and creamy.

My hand was sliding in long circles round and round. I spent ages rubbing her and suddenly realized that it wasn't the cream that she liked anymore it was the rubbing. She smiled at me,

"That feels amazing."

I have to say that being this intimate with her after all this time was exciting as hell and my cock was getting harder in my pants with every pacing rub across her belly. She really seemed to like what I was doing so I took the chance and widened the circle a little. My hands began to move in a sweep landing one just under her breast and the other down to just above the elastic waistband of her panties.

She didn't' stop me.

A few more lazy circles and she shifted positions with a little wiggle to get more comfortable. I let my fingers brush the underside of her breasts.

"Yes… ooh!" she exclaimed as my fingers completed their circle and brushed her breast more firmly.

"My breasts are so sensitive and that's oh so damn nice."

Slowly I slid one hand under the waist band of her panties and massaged the very bottom of her belly –just above her pubic hair. My finger slowly slid under the elastic waistband of her panties and was now rubbing little circles round her pubic hair. She arched her back and groaned.

Her resistance collapsed under the weight of weeks without sex. She put her hand down on top of mine and pushed it further between her legs with a groan. My fingers slid in between her pussy lips and she was just as wet and warm as I'd remembered her to be.

My thumb found her clit and she groaned out loud. I started to masturbate her with tiny circles and playful rubs. She parted her legs for me and her hands went straight to her breast.

Bella rubbed and pinched her nipples as I worked her pussy to her first climax. It really didn't take long before she was clamping her legs around my hand.

I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her in the most loving way. To my delight she responded with a deep and sexy kiss that reached way back to a horny school boy's most erotic dream.

I stood and stripped naked before her watching as she hungrily eyed up my junk. A smile swept across my face as she sat up and reached out for me. I knelt over her legs so that my cock was now resting on her. Greedily she took my cock in both hands and started to rub it with a firm smooth motion.

My heart was beating so damn fast. It was almost like it was my first time all over again. I was so unsure of myself. So unsure of whether she wanted this as much as I did or if she was just doing this to please me.

"Bella," I breathed out, "I want you so bad… are you" she shushed me,

"Edward, I want you too… so fucking bad."

I leaned in and started to kiss the apex of where her neck and shoulder lie and released the small clasp on her bra –letting her beautiful breasts swing free. I cupped them, one in each hand and caressed her nipples with my finger while she leaned back against me and relaxed under my touch.

Reaching around her I gently pulled her jeans down and tossed them to the side. For a while I softly caressed her pussy and then began soft sensual kisses on her belly.

Now placing my hands on her hips I leisurely brought her panties down her legs –exposing her soft pubic hair and then her pussy lips. I gently kissed down her belly until I was able to separate her legs a little and just taste her sweet-smelling wetness with the tip of my tongue.

Easing her backwards onto the carpet –lifting her legs up and apart –exposing her beautiful pussy with its soft furry mound was a beautiful sight to behold. Her pregnant musk filled my senses and my cock rose thicker and harder.

Watching her closed eyes and the expectant smile on her face for me to penetrate her -I didn't need to ask for permission again.

I lowered myself onto her -my cock finding a soft warm wetness that yielded to my firm pressure. She lifted her hips in an invitation and I took it, sliding my full length into her tight pussy. I pressed slowly until the head of my cock was lodged deep against her womb. She sighed with pleasure and I groaned with delight.

Unhurriedly I made love to her feeling her respond with tightening and squeezing, stroking my cock and balls with her pussy muscles.

Her hands soon found my shoulders and she pulled me towards her –letting me know it was ok to put a little more weight on her.

I felt her erect nipples brushing my chest as her moans of pleasure filled and echoed through the empty room around us. Slowly I increased speed but not too fast as I didn't want to hurt her or my baby.

I could feel her smooth bump brushing against my stomach as she writhed and fucked me back. Her legs were wide apart and her wet pussy wide open and hungry for my cock.

"God Edward, I've missed you." She cried out forcing my cock to swell with excitement. She gasped as I filled her tight pussy again and again with the width of my cock.

Soon we were both climaxing. She held her breath for ages as it built and then screamed as her orgasm peaked and I took her to all new heights. My balls responded by spurting load after load deep into her eager vagina. I could feel her pussy sucking the very essence of my sperm deep into her marvelous love canal.

Afterwards we lay naked in our afterglow –quiet and content.

She was so quiet that it worried me.

I rolled over onto my side and she was sound asleep. I knew that she would have the hardest time getting up from this position, but I just couldn't bear to wake her up… not when she looked this damn peaceful.

I let her sleep, tossing a few clean white paint sheets over her naked body and then started taking measurements of the floor of which she lied upon. After the measurements I taped all around her making a rather large square. This would be our bedroom. The sunset's yellow and orange glow that shone through the window made Bella's skin glow. This was how I wanted to see her every morning and every night.

###

It was several hours into the night before Bella started to stir. She jolted up like a bat out of hell and then reached for her belly.

"Shit what time is it?"

"It's going on nine thirty, why?"

"Oh fuck! I'm more than five hours late… fuck… fuckety… fuck!" She shot out.

While she was trying to both wrap the sheet around herself and get up, I ran to her side to help her.

"Whatever it is, why can't it wait until tomorrow?" I asked.

She looked at me slightly confused –more sleepy than confused I suppose. Her hair was tattered and puffed up from our display of love earlier. Her eyes wrinkled and nose squished up like I was some sort of idiot.

"I… I just had something that I had to take care of. Where's my cell?"

As I handed her, her purse I asked, "What is so important Bella?" Again she looked at me but this time her face was white and no longer held the tint of pink in her cheeks from the afterglow.

"There's something that you're not telling me." I pressed and she finally gave in,

"Yes Edward. I didn't want to say anything until I'd spoken with Bree and I wasn't really sure how to start this conversation. I had every intention on telling you but I feared that you would think the worst. You've just been so on edge lately that I wanted to get all the details before I informed you of what was going on."

I eyed her for a few moments and I knew that whatever the hell she was about to tell me that I certainly wasn't going to like it.

"Bella, Love you shouldn't be dealing with too much stress in your condition. We're a team and as a team we should be doing and discussing everything together as a team. I hate that you've kept this from me –whatever it is." I waved around the room.

"I'm sorry Edward. I just didn't want to upset you and now I see that keeping it from you has upset you."

"You're damn right it's upset me!"

My deep and powerful voice startled her forcing her to jump back a little. I really wasn't trying to upset her or frighten her for that matter. I was just really upset that she was keeping things from me.

"I'm sorry love, just please tell me… what's going on?"

She looked to the ground unable to look me in the eye. I was so scared of what she was going to tell me. What could she possibly be so ashamed of that she couldn't look me in the eyes and tell me? I wanted to take it back… I wanted to tell her that whatever it was… I trusted her, but I couldn't. As much as I feared for the worst the curiosity got the better of me.

"Rose told me that Jacob and Bree are dating." She whispered.

"And?"

"And I had Rose get Bree to agree to meet with me. I wanted to explain what Jake had done to me… help her before it's too late. I would've loved for someone to warn me. I just felt obligated. I know that we don't owe Bree anything Edward, not after what she's done, but if something happened to her and I didn't tell her… I'd never forgive myself." She cried.

Relived I pulled her in under my chin and wrapped her up tightly, "You're a good person Bella, that's why I love you so damn much. Bree didn't do anything to us, I did. I chose to do the drugs. As for Bree tell her about Jake if you must, but please don't go sneaking off on your own to do so. I'd like to be there with you just in case Jake and Bree are up to something."

I held her at arm's length and eyed her now puffy eyes, "Is there more?" I asked.

She looked up at me and shook her head no, "Edward I just didn't want you to worry that I was upset that they were dating. I could care less. I'm just worried that Jake is up to no good. What if he exposes the fact that you did coke with Bree… maybe that's his ammo… you know?" She sniffled.

I chuckled, "Despite what you may think love, not everything is a big conspiracy."

"Edward Cullen! Its men like you who are lucky they have a woman in their life like me. You always think that glass is half full… whereas I think it's half empty. I'm always prepared for the worst -case scenario."

"That's because you've always had to be. You're world hasn't been a great place to live in, but now, now you can be sure that your glass will be half full from now on."

She smiled at me and made her phone call. I was happy as a pig in shit that there was nothing serious going on. I know to her that this was a very serious situation, but to me… she was fine, our baby was fine and so was I. I wasn't worried about Jake telling the media about my coke binge because I was no longer working at Cullen and Son's. Yes if the press got a hold of the story they'd have a field day, but at this point all I cared about was what Bella and my child thought of me.

I leaned against the wall and sipped on my coffee watching my very pregnant girlfriend –wrapped up in nothing more than a white drop sheet, talking on her cell and looking out the window.

It was a "Hallmark" moment. I pulled my blackberry out of my back pocket and snapped a lovely picture of my two beautiful women. She turned to me and gave me a dirty look, waving at me like I'd interrupted something so very important. I chuckled to myself and saved the picture.

When she was finished she informed me that Bree refused to meet with her if I was going to tag along. Bella begged me to let her go alone and I still refused. I may not know Jake like Bella, but I know his psychotic side far too well and I wasn't putting her or my child in danger.

If I can't trust Bree I certainly don't trust her with my Bella.

Bella was angry with me of course and I told her she could always chat with her on the phone. Tell her what's up and then Bree would know and Bella would be able to sleep sound. I thought this to be a very convincing argument, but Bella thought my argument was ridicules.

In the end we'd come to a compromise. I agreed to let her talk with Bree, without me under the conditions that, one Rose go with her, two they meet somewhere public, and three, Emmett and I were somewhere nearby.

Bella, called Rose and Rose in turn called Bree and before we knew it, we were all set to meet tonight at a local pub.

I was nervous because when I said "public" I didn't mean a bar. I meant maybe something like a coffee shop… a restaurant… maybe Mc fucking Donald's.

A bar was not a place that I wanted my pregnant girl to be.

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**Now that I have this chapter up and running I'm hoping to have the next one out soon. I'm trying my best to get them up quickly but with Doctor Appointments, and such it seems I'm always busy. I do promise however that the next chapter will not be more than a week, week and a half at best.**

**Please remember to leave me a review and let me know what your thoughts are on what's going on now in Bella and Edward's crazy world. **

**There might be approximately ten more chapters and then I'll be ending the story. **

**I have yet to work on the video for MP, but if you're interested in making one for me by all means send me an email and we'll get in touch. **

**If you're new you can check out my videos for my other stories, pictures and banners that I created as well as banners that readers have created for MP, on my homepage listed on my FF profile. **

**Until next time FF. Thanks for reading and have a great day/night**

**April**


	18. Chapter 18 If things changed tomorrow

**Chapter 18**

**If things changed tomorrow**

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**A/N: Hey there everyone, **

**I first want to say that this chapter has been a long time coming. I realize that I said I would post within the week and it's been well over a month since I've posted, however within that week our son had other plans. He was born three weeks early. With that being said as a new mother I'm not sure how often I can update chapters. I'm sure most of you will understand the amount of work it takes to tend to a new born baby. (new born lol)**

**I must thank my wonderful husband because after working ten hours a day he came home and watched our son so that I could finish this chapter for all of you. **

**To Dee, you are forever sticking with me and for that I will forever be grateful. You're not only my beta but my awesome friend from across the world. **

**To my readers and reviewers thank you all for being patient with me and continuing to read my stories. You have all been so awesome with me so thank you! **

**My Twitter Ladies: simple you are all fuck awesome lol I sure miss chatting it up with all your horny asses :) **

**Alright so as always I don't stake any claim to anything Twilight related… no copy right was intended S.M owns everything Twilight. **

**There is a very detailed lemon in this chapter in the hopes that I could make up for my fail on posting.**

**Alright that's it Happy Reading.**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

A midnight shadow lurking behind every alleyway –lingering behind my quickened steps –choking on my shallow breaths and wishing that I'd had changed my mind about coming here tonight.

The bar was dark and gloomy, resembling my soon to be life.

###

Underdressed –dirty looking men eyed Rose and I up like we were some sort of gourmet meal. I felt sick, swallowing the bile that threatened to spill out of my mouth. This was not a place that I would've ever stepped foot into.

I knew that Izzy's was a dirty rough –redneck bar, but hell, she was nothing compared to this hell hole. The sign on the front said, "Willies Palace" Really? _Palace_ isn't the word I'd use for it… Perhaps, outhouse would be more appropriate?

Rose looked to me with petrified eyes, while clinging to my left arm like it was her own personal invisible cloak –or some shit.

"Rose, come on… people are watching." I whispered and rolled my eyes like this place didn't' freak me the fuck out.

Rose slapped me like a little painted up diva and huffed, "Fuck you Bells… you know this place is messed the hell up. I'm afraid to touch anything I might get aids, hep, herpes –you –never-fucking-know!" She screeched as a male leaving the bar brushed against her back, "Oh my fucking –god! I'm so fucking out of here!" She shivered.

"Rose, we need to get to Bree." I pointed to her sitting at the bar alone. She was watching us and by the look on her face –enjoying every fucking miserable second of our uncomfortable ness.

Rose was a bit of a diva but she wasn't about to let anyone know that she was afraid. She pulled back her shoulders, straightened out her posture, focused her eyes on Bree and pressed her lips tight together as she began her "stalking prey like walk."

I had to give it to her; even in the strangest of environments she could always handle herself. Now given she may have needed a little bit of a slap to help kick start her, but she was always a person to never run from anything and I admired her for that.

Bree never took her eyes off of us for our entire saunter towards her and I obliged her by doing the same. This wasn't about who'd won the love of Jake –far-fucking-from it. No –this was to give her a warning about Jake –possibly saving her years of anguish.

The closer I got to her the more I could see it in her eyes that this –this was nothing more than a competition.

She didn't agree to meet with me because she believed there was something important I wanted her to know about Jake –no this was 'I got your man bitch moment, and there's nothing you can do about it… so step off.' I needed to approach the situation with caution.

"Hello Bree, how are you?" I hollered over some real sappy country music –about some girl breaking some poor fuckers' heart.

Bree pressed her red as pro's-ta-twat lips together with a tight lipid smile and looked down at the empty glass in front of her.

"I'd be a hell-of-a lot better if my glass was full." She chuckled, clanging the lone ice against the perspired flute.

I nodded at the male bartender –who trust me, with his cut off denim shorts and 'The Crow' grease mop was far from fucking good looking, "What can I get for you ladies?" He tried his best to sound sultry, but he came out sounding more like Kermit the frog –all Kermy and shit.

"Whatever she's having," Rose pointed to Bree's glass.

"And for you?" He eyed my very large swollen Belly.

I placed my hand in the air –a gesture to stop his unbelievable thoughts –who could blame him though right? I mean I was in the dirtiest bar around and very much pregnant –I'm sure in this place he's seen a hell-of-a-lot-worse though right? Whatever.

"I'm just going to have a Coke and please give the lady whatever she wants. It's on me." I smiled friendly, gesturing towards Bree. He eyed me like he was sure I was going to drink the fucking thing when he wasn't looking. I had to give him credit though, he didn't judge –although I knew he damn well wanted to. I was half hoping he'd question me –I was in a feisty mood this evening.

When Bree's Gin and tonic was placed in front of her our conversation seemed to be null. Rose eyed me, shifting her eyes in Bree's direction.

"Bree," I broke the silence, "I didn't come here to tell you what to do with your life. Hell I don't even know why I care… after everything with Edward, but…" I sighed, "if something happened to you and I didn't tell you what Jake is really like… well… let's just say it would haunt me for the rest of my life… understand?" I asked her playing with the lemon on the side my cup.

She smirked at me like some high school drama queen, "Bella, you may have gotten Seattle's most eligible bachelor, but I got Forks. You can't have your cake and eat it too. That's why I agreed to come here this evening. I wanted you to understand that Jake… Jake and I _are_ a couple and I would appreciated if you'd mind your own damn business!"

Rose went to open her mouth, pissed off like nobody's business when I stopped her, "It's alright Rose if she likes getting the shit kicked out of her, than who am I to stop her?" I stood from the bar stool to leave when Bree reached out and grabbed my arm forcefully.

"Listen Bitch, you can't have all the men. Just because you're a little whore doesn't mean that I am." She pressed her index finger to her chest, "You can make up all the lies you want about my Jake –that's right I said _my Jake _–I won't believe one little thing that comes out of your –trailer –trash –mouth!" She seethed.

My eyes fanned down to her hand on my forearm and I grinned, "Is that Jake talking or you?" I asked peeling her grimy little paws off my arm. Leaning in slowly I whispered in her ear, "Go ahead and touch me –one –more –time and I'll break your fucking fingers." She smiled back at me like we'd just exchanged pleasantries.

"I came here tonight so that I could live my life guilt free if something happened to you. All I wanted to tell you –was for years Jake ran around on me. Fucked whatever had a cunt. Did countless amounts of drugs and got involved with the wrong kind of people all while controlling and beating the shit out of me –believe it or not –it makes no difference to me –my hands are now clean." I slapped my hands together as if "presto" no more fucking drama. She still smiled at me like I was some crazed teenager with some weird stalker crush.

###

Edward and Emmett were fast on our heels when we left the bar. "Love is everything alright?" He asked and it wasn't. I knew that even though I'd told her what I wanted to tell her, that I would still feel bad if something had happened to her.

I'd acted like a child playing _her_ little games and so she'd won. Simply because I'd come across like she's taken something from me. I needed to make her understand what that asshole had done to me. This wasn't something that I was going to be able to walk away from despite how much I knew I should've.

"Actually I'm going back in to talk with her. I didn't get to say all the things I wanted to say to her." I begged Edward with my eyes.

"Alright, I'll go in with you this time."

"Edward, I think she was so defensive because Rose was in there with me. I believe if I went by myself she'd open up more –hear what I have to say." I shrugged, "I don't fucking know. All I know is that I can't leave things this way."

Edward nodded knowing that even though he didn't like it I wouldn't stop until I'd gotten what I wanted. I kissed him softly on the lips in self-gratification that I'd gotten my way and with a shy smile and a wink I headed back into the bar.

When I fanned the room I noted Bree talking with the bartender –giving him some sort of shit for god knows what. I took in a deep breath and began my strut towards her.

Before reaching my destination, Bree paused for a brief second from her argument with the grease top to take in my presence. I grinned ready to take on what-ever- the fuck she was ready to throw at me, when I felt two very strong arms wrap around my biceps and chest –picking me up from the ground and restraining me from all movement.

I went to scream for help, but upon opening my mouth a gigantic hand –smelling of gasoline –covered my entire mouth. I kicked and squirmed but this guy was built like a brick shit house –I wasn't getting out of his physically powerful clutch. I made a calculated decision in a split second that I would just relax –not fight him and when the moment came that he would put me down –I would seize the day and fight like hell.

I was terrified. There was no doubt in my mind what this man wanted. His sexual slurs made it very clear to me. I remembered watching some show on T.V about how to defend yourself against an attacker… knee to the groin, gut, palm of the hand to the nose and fingers to the eyes.

As we continued down some darkened hallway I understood that my attacker worked at Willies Palace or owned the place because as we moved through the darkened shadows I heard the distinct sound of his keys jingling from his pants. Maybe he's the janitor?

His animal grunting sounds coming deep within his chest was the most terrifying sound in the world. I had to stay calm. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

Door after door he unlocked with his numerous amounts of keys and when we'd finally hit a hallway that had some small amount of light shimmering at the end of it –I saw a lone door –this was it… do or die baby.

Still as a corps in his arms I stayed watching as he pulled out a key and unlocked the door.

"_Groin, gut, nose, eyes… Groin, gut, nose, eyes…"_ I repeated over and over in my head.

When the door finally closed I watched a tall, husky built figure walk over to the wall. I readied myself _–"lets do this fuck face"_ –I pumped myself up.

What I wasn't ready for was when the lights came on that Jake stood before me, with his fucking smirk, "Well Izzy, I must confess –I half expected you to at least fight me off –guess you're into this freaky shit." He laughed.

I was seeing red, better yet I was fucking red, "Jake, what the fuck are you doing? Edward is going to kick your ass –after I'm done with you that is!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" He screamed, taking me down a few notches –I remembered the crazed psychotic Jake far too well. "You better pray that Edward doesn't come in here, or I'll blow this shit right out of the water!"

"Jake, what the hell are you going on about?"

"You know damn well what I'm going on about. You thought you could fool me. You all thought you could fool me. You thought you could use Edward. How do you think he'd feel if I told him the truth… if I told him you lied just to use him for his money…um?"

Jake walked closer to me –forcing me to walk backwards and when my back hit the cold confines of the wall, I had nowhere to run.

"Jake, I never used Edward. I –love –Edward and that's the truth of the matter. I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing here, but you better let me go." I eyed him, but he was still smiling

I had no fucking idea what he was going on about.

"Tell me the truth Izzy!" Jake screamed, slamming his fist above my head on the wall.

"Don't fuck with me!" He bellowed forcing me to pull into myself like a scared little turtle.

"Jake, please –just let me go –I beg you." I cried.

"Beg me? You better get on your hands a knees bitch!" He screamed.

I looked up at him and slowly descended to my knees before him. At this point I would do what-ever-the-fuck he asked of me.

"Jake, whatever this is –let me go." I eyed him.

"She's mine… you're mine! I will never let you go!" He screamed, tears running down his cheeks.

I knew that he didn't love me –he only thought he did. I was nothing more than a possession of his, but trying to convince him that mine and Edward's baby _wasn't_ his would prove to be my biggest challenge yet.

"Jake, she's _not_ yours. I told you this already. You need to accept what is." I softly whispered.

"You… you shut the fuck up! Stop playing with my mind!" He screamed slamming his fists off of his own head.

I felt horrible and some of you may say that I should feel horrible, but I wasn't going to lie and tell him that she _was_ his, because –she _wasn't_. Why give a psycho more crazy dreams to hold on to? Doesn't seem right –does it? Who knows?

"She's Edward's –please Jake you're making a mistake." I cried, knowing damn well there was no way I was going to convince him. "What makes you think she's yours?" I questioned.

"I saw the doctor." He held up the papers that stated how far along I was.

I looked up at those damn papers and told him that he was wrong. That he'd looked at the dates wrong, or that perhaps he just wanted to believe that the dates were wrong –who knows –but when he revealed the test results to me, they were different than the ones I was given and these –this set –proved that Jake was right and our baby –mine and Edward's –was Jake's after all.

I looked at the numbers calculating them over and over again in my head –but nothing. Why would the Doctor lie to me? Why would he make up something so evil? This had to be a fake it just had to be. The only problem was that it was stamped in the left hand corner with an authentic Seattle hospital seal and the doctor's signature adorned the bottom.

I looked at it longer completely and unmistakably in shock. I wanted to burn the god damn thing and watch the little blackened fibers float about the room. I wanted to run hide and go on like this never happened, but it had and now how the hell was I going to deal with this?

"What do you have to say for yourself?" He screamed.

I was out of words –not sure how to proceed. My life in this moment was about to change and I damn well knew it wasn't for the better.

"First –things –first Jake, we're going to see the doctor." I eyed him, "and find out why the hell he lied. I was given a different date that proved that this baby was Edward's. As much as I fucking hate you –I'd never lie about this being your child."

"Admit it, say it!" He screamed pounding his fist into his palm.

I remembered those eyes. The sheer gratification he was about to receive by connecting his knuckles to my face –possibly having his way with me until he'd satisfied himself. There was nowhere to run and I certainly didn't' want to piss him off where I received the repercussions of his anger –so I did it –I said it. "Yes, Jake –she's yours."

A monsoon was coming and by the time it was over –everything in its path would be destroyed.

**Edward's Point Of View**

Watching from the small coffee shop window across the street wasn't exactly making me feel any damn better.

The small darkened windows of Willies Palace weren't helping matters much. I_ could_ see Bella –barely –through them. Emmett was going on about the Salvation Army store and how people don't contribute enough anymore, but I truly didn't hear much of what he was saying.

The black coffee that sat before me tasted like mud and with only a few sips out of it, it was now cold as ice. The waitress a cute little red head was very flirtatious with me. I felt horrible for being so short with her, but I had other things on my mind.

I could see how all the men were looking at _my_ Bella. I hated that they eyed her like she was their personal candy store. She was pregnant for fuck sakes and yes I know that some men get off on that fucking shit –hell I'm one of them –but she's mine.

I wanted to go in there and bust some fuckers in the head, but then I knew that I would deal with my very emotional girl later.

My legs were tapping up and down violently as I watched her approach the bar and as much as I wanted to go in there and drag her ass out like a damn cave man, I couldn't. I was hoping that me being so god damn understanding would pay off later in the form of a blow job.

"Finally!" I huffed watching as Rose and Bella entered back out onto the street.

Yes… alright, I'll be the first to admit that I overreact where Bella is concerned –that I'm very possessive of her, but not in a bad way –trust me I know how that sounds. I'm merely very protective of her and I f.u.c.k.i.n.g hate when assholes goggle eye her, however what upset me tonight wasn't the men it was the fact that Bella wanted to go back in there and without Rose or myself no less. I wanted to scream at her –ask her what –the –fuck she thought she was doing, but after many countless arguments of me not letting her do what she wanted I made the _wrong_ choice and let her have her way.

If I could go back I would change things –I would –but I can't. I allowed her to go back into that place –_me._

I stood there watching from the coffee shop –watching as Jake took her –watched as they disappeared before me –I felt totally helpless –useless.

Running as fast as I could… I busted down the door, only for the bartender and bouncer to greet me and stop me from heading behind the bar –where I saw him take her.

"Let –fucking –go of me!" I yelled out each word like they didn't understand them.

The more I pushed –struggled, the more they called for backup. Finally five men threw me out on my ass –where Emmett stood to help me up.

"Where the fuck, were you?" I screamed dusting myself off.

"Man, what the hell! You were there and then you weren't…"

"What the hell is going on?" Rose asked.

I didn't have time to stand there and explain things to them all I said was, "Jake has Bella… it was a fucking set up!"

They both looked to me like I was crazy. I _wasn't_ fucking crazy –I know what I saw. With no more time to explain I found myself heading around the side of the bar, looking for another way in.

Success –there was a small door out back and it was jarred open with a broom handle. I smiled with thoughts of finally giving Jake one hell of a beating. He had some fucking nerve touching my love again.

As I made my way down the darkened hallways I heard Jake yelling at Bella.

"_She's mine… you're mine!" He'd screamed._

"_She's Edward's"_

What I wasn't expecting was Bella's confession.

"_Yes Jake, she's yours." _

I stood there, momentarily paralyzed by her choice of words. I had to give my head a shake and tell myself that she was only saying this to get Jake to calm down.

The rage that ignited through me forced my jaw to lock –my teeth to grind and my fist to clench… How fucking dare he?

With so much rage inside me –needing to send it somewhere –my size twelve boot came up and connected with the door, busting that fucker wide open.

Bella's scared eyes were the first thing I saw –she was so frightened. The next was Jake's massive frame hovering over her, pushing her body against the wall.

Jake turned to me and smiled, "nice of you to join the party."

"You fucker!" I screamed storming towards him.

We were face to face with Bella in between us begging us not to fight. I couldn't believe her –after everything he'd put her through how could she defend him?

"Edward, please –don't do this." She pleaded.

"Why the fuck not?"

"You're better than this… you know you are." She whispered.

Her soft hand came up to caress the side of my face, but still I didn't take my eyes off Jake. Our chests were touching, our nostrils flaring, faces red and fist's clenched. I wanted him –I wanted him bad.

"Edward" Her voice came out all soft and scared, which required me to look down at her. The apprehension in her eyes as she looked at me broke my heart. I never wanted her to look at me the way she looked at him. I wanted her to know that I'd always protect her, but this –this was a look of terror and I fucking hated it.

I softly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into my side, walking towards the door.

"Coward!" Jake yelled.

My back was to him and as his remark stung… I stopped for a second –just a second –thinking about how great it would feel to bust wide open his mouth and then continued on my way out the door.

"Edward" Bella whispered. I smiled down at her and pulled her in tighter. We didn't need words. I knew that what I heard wasn't true –_this little girl was mine_ –_they both were mine_. I had nothing to worry about.

"Oh Eddie boy!" I heard Jake call from behind us just as we reached the exit, "Enjoy them while you still can. They both belong to me and don't you ever fucking forget it." He chuckled.

I couldn't control myself any longer. I still don't know to this day how the hell I didn't kill the motherfucker, but I did let loose on his ass. I don't remember much about what happened in the hall of Willies Palace that night but I do remember Bella piggy backing me the entire time I thumped that asshole. He never gave in either. Every single time I hit him, he had another remark nagging me to hit him harder each time. He even laughed –got off on it.

"You can never erase me from her life." Was one remark, "You'll always be reminded of me when you look into that little girl's eyes." Was another and I'll never forget, "That's my blood Edward growing in her womb. I saw red and I honestly don't know how I didn't kill him –probably do to the fact that I got arrested.

When the police arrived they saw me on top of Jake and a very pregnant Bella on top of me. Apparently Bree had called the police. I was shocked to learn this when I was going through my booking at the department. For someone who claims to love Jake, why did she_ just_ call the police and not try to stop it herself –stop Bella –me? Christ Bella was right there, pregnant and everything trying to get me to stop. Guess she cared enough to call the police, but where was she now? Whatever.

I learned later that Jake was in the hospital and when I asked if he was in intensive care I was sadly told no –that he'd recover fine. I hated that he got away that easily –at least I thought I'd given him a good go –apparently his head is made of fucking bricks –or perhaps it's all the drugs he did –he's so fucked he can't feel a fucking thing.

"Alright, Mr. Cullen, you're free to go." The officer told me.

I assumed that it was my father or Bella that had bailed me out, but to my surprise it was my mother.

Now let me paint the unbelievable –put in the record books –picture I had before me. My mother was sitting in very uncomfortably looking plastic orange chair, with silver chrome legs, wearing a black penciled skirt –legs crossed at the ankles –looking down at her manicured red nails in disgust –tapping her high heal off the tile floor below them –still wearing her minx fur coat –probably afraid someone would steal it.

I chuckled at her, "Mother, where is Bella?" She glared up at me,

"That's all you have to say to me… after everything? Was it not her ex-husband? Is it not her drama? Do you know how much you've disgraced this family?

Mother was proud that she'd made her point valid.

"Alright, already" I huffed, holding my hand up, "This is not something we're going to converse about right now. Why didn't Bella come?" I pressed, annoyed as hell.

She smiled as her hand reached for my face, "Maybe she doesn't care about you after all dear." I pulled her hand away from my face, by her wrist,

"You don't know her mother, nor have you given yourself a chance to get to know her, but you better –she's having your grandchild." I huffed as she ripped her arm from my grasp.

"How dare you talk to me this way, after I came all the way down here to get you out of this –god –forsaken –place?"

"Yes, how dare I?" I rolled my eyes, "Where is dad?"

"He's tending to your little whore –probably fucking her as we speak." She snarled.

I knew something was up. Not only did Bella not come here to bail me out herself, but now my father was to be helping her with something?

"Mother, don't accuse Bella of such an unspeakable act. Have some class. Just because you're fucking everyone in town doesn't mean that my father is or Bella –or them together. I wish dad would fuck someone else though and maybe –just maybe you'd see how it felt."

Of course this comment earned me a slap across the face. I took it gladly. I know how strange that sounds, but it felt so fucking good to say it. My whole life I'd done nothing but respect "thy mother and father." It just seemed an appropriate time to put the woman in her place, mother or no mother.

I watched as she stormed out the front door and into the stretch limo. Leave it to her to bring the limo to the precinct –fuck she could've at least used the family car. She's always got to show off how much damn money we have.

When I turned around to sign my release papers there stood a small petite woman officer, holding the clipboard with a large smile on her face. Was it strange that in that moment I couldn't do anything else but think about her trying to take down a two hundred pound man? _Anyways _–

"Mr. Cullen, we just need a few more signatures and you're free to go." I nodded, looking back out at my mother and then followed the officer to her desk.

###

When I arrived back at home Felix warned me that Bella was quite upset with me. I felt ashamed of myself –carrying on the way I did –how would I make it up to her? I had a few ideas.

I found myself getting extremely excited just at the mere thought of savoring her. My pants became tighter as my cock struggled against its confines. The thickness becoming an uncomfortable factor –he wanted her too. It had been a long day; surely she'd want some relief?

The fucking elevator was taking too long; I could've run up the stairs faster than this. When I did finally arrive I was greeted by my father,

"Glad to see you're home safe and sound." He remarked turning my battered face back and forth in his hands.

"What's going on?" I questioned.

"Everything is going to be just fine Edward. You'll see." He smiled putting his over coat on.

"I don't understand? What's wrong with Bella?" I asked.

"It's alright son. She just needed someone to talk to. Don't I always look after you?" He eyed me.

"Yes of course, but…"

My father held his hand up. "But nothing let me do what I do best." He smiled, tapping me lightly off the side of my face.

Something was definitely going on.

"Bella!" I called.

As I hung my coat up and turned around there she was –my beauty. I walked quickly to her side and pulled her tightly into my arms. My god I'd missed her and for the moment I just wanted to let last nights escapade disappear into the darkened abyss where it had come from.

"There's my two girls." I cooed, rubbing her Belly while I kissed her cheeks all over.

"Edward," She giggled, "will you join me for dinner?" I grinned,

"You made dinner?" I curled up my nose, while she slapped me.

"Hell no, I made reservations." She grinned.

I really wasn't up for going out, but it seemed that Bella had something on her mind, so I decided to entertain her. I kissed her softly on the lips and excused myself so I could shower and get myself ready. I had no idea where Bella had made the reservations so I decided I would wear my Levis a white dress shirt and a tie. At least if it was lower class I could take the tie off, open a few buttons and I wouldn't be over dressed and vice versa for the classy restaurant.

After my shower and making myself presentable I walked back into the living room to find Bella in a red leather mini –strapless –hoister dress, showing off her belly. I nearly came in my pants right there. It wasn't until I noted the black flat knee high boots that the drool was present and my moan was sent throughout the house.

I stormed over to her. Standing only inches from her, I breathed down her skin watching in self-satisfaction that my presence made the little hairs on her neck stand erect.

"Bella, why don't we stay right here tonight, I could look after you here?" I whispered softly, while my hands roamed the soft curves of her hips.

"Edward," she breathed, "I've been planning this day for a while.

I eyed her strangely and I was beyond annoyed, but I played along.

###

When Felix pulled up to the restaurant I was shocked that this was where Bella had booked our reservation. "Les revere" was a very hard restaurant to get into. Bella had to have booked this reservation months in advance.

"What's this all about? I can't even get into this restaurant." I smiled.

It was the truth. This was a new restaurant in the area and I wanted to try it out for so long but they were always so damn busy that my money couldn't even get me in. I was impressed.

Bella smiled and placed her arm in mine. When we reached the greeter Bella told him that we had a reservation under Cullen a table for two. I was just tickled fucking pink that she used Cullen as the reservation name. I really wished she was Mrs. Cullen.

Once we were seated and ordered our food Bella started up a conversation. I didn't hear much of what she was going on about all of my attention was on her voluptuous breasts –fuck they looked good in that dress of hers.

"Edward, are you listening to me?"

I smiled in getting caught ogling her goodies, "If you wanted me to listen, you shouldn't have worn something as reveling as this." I waved my hand up and down, just as the waiter placed our food in front of us.

"I said, happy anniversary." She smiled.

"Anniversary?" I questioned. It wasn't a year since we'd met yet.

"Yes, tonight we're going to pretend that it's our one year. I know that it's only ten months since we're actually known one another, but I couldn't get the reservation on our one year –they were booked and this was the only opening I could get." She explained and then pouted. God she was cute as hell.

"Happy anniversary" I smiled, leaning in.

When our lips touched my cock twitched involuntarily. I was so lost in the taste of her lips that I hadn't heard the waiter approach the table. He coughed to gain our attention, which of course pissed me off to no return. Didn't he see that I was busy? I ignored his ass and within no time he'd left us to it.

My fingers made fast work under the table –running along her stockings. I pulled away from her kiss –only to eye her. She didn't reply with words but she spread her legs a bit –her fingers pulling back the hem of her dress just far enough so that I could see where the lace of her stocking tops ended and the garters attached. I groaned and waved the waiter back over.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen Sir, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"I want a more private setting… I don't care if it's your boss's office. I don't want to be disturbed –understand?" I asked never taking my eyes off of Bella.

"Yes, Sir, I'll be right back." He scurried off.

During dinner I had carelessly rubbed the back of my hand along the outside of her left thigh so that I could feel the garters with the back of my fingers. Bella never stopped me. With the darkened shadows of the table cloth covering her lap, I became a bit bolder.

I pulled back the hem of her dress and slid my fingers along the stocking top inside of her left thigh until I felt the lace and then her soft milky warm skin above. As if to reassure me, she leaned forward to grab the pepper shaker and let the outside of her right breast rub against my upper arm.

"Um," she whispered and spread her legs further apart granting me access.

I brought my hand to the top of her thighs expecting to feel lace panties. However what I felt was a hairless pussy. Happy as a pig in shit I slid my finger into the top of her slit and found her clitoris and rubbed the tip of my finger around it.

"She drew in a sharp intake of breath and said, "Not here."

Pushing my hand away she grabbed the cloth napkin and stuffed it between her thighs. "If you're going to play I don't want a wet stain on the back of my dress." Again she smiled and dropped her eyes in that differential way that made my cock get even harder.

My hand went back to exploring her smooth pussy. As I explored deeper I could see why she had grabbed the napkin –her slit was wet with her arousal. Sliding first one and then my two fingers into her wet pussy, I curled my little finger so that it rode her clitoris. She turned her upper body so that my upper arm nestled between her breasts as she began to ride my arm and hand.

I watched as she bit her lower lip and started shaking her head back and forth in a slow motion as her body tensed and then went through a series of jerky spasms.

"Yes." She whispered in my ear.

Thinking she was done I started to pull away when she began riding my hand and arm harder still. She put her head on my shoulder and wrapped her hands around my upper arm –keeping it between her breasts. I did as much with my fingers and hand as possible given our surroundings but she was effectively doing a pole dance around my right arm and hand.

She glanced up at me and I could see her eyes were glazed –that she was in a trance of pure unmistakable lust. Her body began to shudder and spasm in a vast climax. She bit my shoulder through my dress shirt. It hurt but not to make me cry out in pain. I knew what was happening. She was using my shoulder as a way of reducing the waves of her climaxes into little grunts so others couldn't hear her noises over their dinner chatter.

Just as Bella's body went totally still the waiter had come back. "If you'd kindly follow me Sir?" He smiled.

I got out of the booth first and gave Bella my hand to assist her up. She knew what I was up too and although it probably wasn't the most appropriate place and I probably could've waited until we got home, Bella clearly liked the change in status.

"Newly weds?" the young boy asked.

"Yeah, sort of" she smiled.

Bella turned her head to look into my eyes and whispered, "I want your cock inside of me."

"Unless you want to make a very public spectacle, I think we better wait until we get home." I teased, following behind the waiter.

"We could rent a hotel" she suggested. I smiled in her impatience and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Whatever you say ma'am. But I need to be inside of you real soon." She gasped as I licked my fingers before tapping the young man on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but I think we'll be taking the bill instead." I handed him a few hundreds not carrying to see how many and with a nod he escorted us to the front counter.

We carried on like two high school sweet hearts while we waited on the bill. "I can't wait to lick you to another climax." I hummed in the crook of her neck and watched as she came undone in my arms. Bella played right along with my seductive web of games and took my hand, sucking and licking her own juices clean before griping my hand in both of hers.

Once back outside we were greeted by Felix. He knew what was going on but didn't dare to ask questions. Instead he just opened the car door for us to get in and pushed the tinted partition up so that we could be alone.

After instructing Felix to take us to the nearest hotel and to step on it I watched as Bella reached between her legs and wiped as much of her juices up as she could before removing the napkin.

When Felix announced that we had reached the hotel Bella whispered that she was leaking down her thighs. I admit I was not very bothered by this admission which had brought on another shy head bow and a staged little girl pout.

When I saw the name of the hotel we were at I was about ready to kick Felix in the nuts. "Super8, really Felix?" I snapped.

"Well you told me the closest and fastest." He grinned, tipping the peak of his baseball hat at me –the sly motherfucker.

Bella acted like a shy little girl, watching the whole checking in process, and the fact that the hotel desk clerk knew me on sight. Of course he did this was where I brought all my one night stands. I never wanted to spend a lot of money on said "one night stands" and so the "Super8" became my regulatory Friday night sex romping ritual. How could Felix think this place to be appropriate for my Bella? I couldn't think of that now, not while her juices were flowing down her thick succulent, creamy thighs.

"I knew you were into some freaky shit, but I never thought you were in to pregos." the bell man smiled at me. "John is it? Yes… well… John the hottest, kinkiest women in the world are pregnant women –there hormones are so fucked up that they're willing to do just about anything." I winked at him, but what surprised me most was Bella. She licked her lips and pulled at my tie swirling it around her hand, "hurry up lover boy."

We rode the elevator up to our –rent by the hour –room –the young desk clerk working the buttons. Bella and I were at the back of the elevator, when I put my arm around her and began tracing her spine, with the tips of my fingers –just below her bra. When my fingers slid into the little inverted dimple on the small of her back, Bella twitched and jumped like I'd touched her with an electric wire. I loved this part of her –I loved what it did to her.

I continued running my fingers up and down that same dimple and watched the same reaction each time until she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me. I loved this –her pleasure point.

When the doors opened I told the desk clerk that I had it from here. He winked at me, with the knowledge of what we were about to do in just a few seconds. I sort of felt bad for the freckled faced boy, he probably peeps in on couples just to get a cheap thrill –note to self make sure no one is watching.

When we arrived Bella smiled as she saw a large bed, small living area, a bar, and a desk in the corner of the room. It always amused me that the little things in life made her this happy… when I could give her the world and much, much more.

When the door clicked and locked behind me, Bella stepped in front of me and threw her arms around my neck –pulling my mouth to her lips. I closed her body into my arms and felt the heat from her swollen belly as she pressed against me.

It had been the first time I'd been able to really wrap my little minx up in my arms in a twenty four hour period and she felt really good –really fucking good.

I let my fingers trace down her spine again until they found that little vertical dimple I had played with on the elevator. I ran my fingers into the vertical depression just above her ass and set off more sexual reactions. Her crotch slammed into my upper thigh as she tried to wrap her one leg around mine to pull me in even closer.

I tried to slip my tongue into her mouth, but upon grazing her lips with it she sucked it in so deeply that it actually hurt just a bit –just a bit. She then proceeded to slid down my leg squeezing it with her thighs. On her knees she started to unbuckle my belt and unzip my Levis. As she finally unhooked the button on my waist band I thought, "Thank God!"

Bella didn't hesitate. With one pull she pulled my pants and boxers to my knees and with one swift –hungry –motion she sucked my cock down her throat until her nose pressed into the base, but she wasn't done –oh hell no –as she sucked her hand came up and gently cupped my balls.

As she continued to milk me I took the clip holding her hair back off, allowing her long pretty hair to fall freely over her shoulders. My hands were around the sides of her head as my fingers laced through her soft long strands.

Moaning I said, "If you keep that up I'm going to cum in your mouth."

With my remark the sucking actually increased. I was trying to hold off, not sure how much longer I could when she started running her finger nails up and down my balls. That did it! I yelled, "Oh fuck –Yes!" as I shot my cum deep down the back of her throat.

Bella had milked me until I had offered up everything. As she let my manhood slide out of her mouth she showed me my cum on the tip of her tongue before she rolled it back and swallowed it.

"Christ!" I hummed in approval.

"You taste good! Now fuck me please." She grinned.

"I just have to catch my breath! You may have drained me for the night."

"We'll see about that!" she replied with another one of her teasing grins.

I lifted her up and started to lift her dress when she said, "No baby, like this."

With that she unhooked the back at the top as you would a bra and the whole dress slid to the floor forming a little red silk pool around her feet –revealing the black lace strapless bra/panty set and her stockings. I took her hands as she stepped over her dress and then I lifted my hand so she twirled around in a dance –for my inspection.

I kicked off my shoes, pants and underwear while our lips danced and my hands felt her supple skin. I moved into Bella letting my hands caress her from her neck up and over her shoulders then down to the outside of her arms. Then I took my finger tips and traced the top edge of her breasts just at the point where they curved away from her chest.

Bella moaned and wiggled her hips in response to the soft movements of my fingers. So I put my hands just below her bra on the side of her ribcage and slowly ran my thumbs under her breast following the line of the under wires. This gained me a shudder and a deep moan as she threw her head back and I started nibbling and kissing her throat from her chin to her collar bone.

She pressed her hips against me and I backed her up against the bed and let her back down onto the bed. I picked her legs up, just behind her knee and rolled her hips up so I could kiss her smooth pussy.

Running my tongue into her slit and up toward her clit, I got my taste of her. Her juices are always so light and sweet –complimenting the related aroma that had driven me wild all evening. I gently bit her clit with my front teeth and she jerked her hips towards my mouth. Burying my tongue as deeply as I could inside her I licked, sucked and took little nibbles from the bottom of her pussy to her clit –rolling my tongue around her clit and sucking it in-between my lips.

Her body tensed and her hips jerked so bad –it was difficult to stay with her. Three more real good jerks and her back began to bow. Her entire body froze other than the tiny jerks of her pussy against my mouth. I looked into her eyes, which were big and brown –focused on my face buried deep between her thighs. She smiled and started to relax her back as I kept sucking and licking her clit.

She said through gasps, "Wait!" but I kept going on. An instant later she tensed in climax again and I kept on, knowing now that she was multi-orgasmic. I wanted to get her into a rolling orgasm, where one builds over the last one and I got what I wanted after about six wild climaxes. Her eyes were completely glazed over, her hips and pussy were jerking involuntarily. Her thighs griped my head like she was going to squeeze it off my neck.

I let Bella, come down from her high, but every few seconds I flicked my tongue over her clit just to watch her spasm again –I'm a bastard –this I know.

When she released my head from her death grip she said, "I want you… now!"

I was amazed that my cock had gotten hard again after the milking she had given it, but her words woke me once more.

I rubbed some of her slick pussy juice up and down her slit and when everything was very juicy I circled her anal passage with my finger –watching her squirm before me. I proceeded to rub my cock up and down her folds and when I was nice and slippery I pushed it in a bit and backed away, only to put it in a fraction to pull away again. I continued until she tried to push into me. She knew that I was teasing her because the next time I lined up and started to push a little she used her hands and arms to pull herself toward me and drove me inside her hard.

Bella looked at me and smiled as if she'd won some game. I smiled back when I felt her pussy muscles contract and grip my cock as if she'd grabbed my hand in a tug of war –I'd won it seems.

As I began to move forward and back, amazed at the tightness of her pussy and the grip she held with me with, she eyed me. I knew that look; my pregnant lady was very uncomfortable. I smiled removing myself from her and kissed her while she repositioned herself –I didn't want her to get out of the mood. Soon we found a rhythm together and then increased the pace as my thumb and forefinger began to pinch and roll her clit. Slowly I reinserted and with each thrust I became deeper and deeper inside her.

She grunted once and stiffened as her pussy gripped my manhood hard and she climaxed jerking her hips several times. I tried to keep moving inside of her but the grip she had on me was so tight I exploded as my hips jerked and thrust into her.

She must have felt my juices or my pulsing cock because a lusty smile crossed her face and she began to message her lower abdomen just above her pubic mound. We stayed like that for several moments. Occasionally my body would jerk and I could feel more juice spurt into her.

A shiver made her wiggle her whole body, but she looked at me and a big smile spread across her face. My cock was shrinking and it slipped out with a soft pop. She looked me in the eyes and formed a little pout that I knew was a tease.

I couldn't have her pouting so for the next ten or fifteen minutes I licked, drank and sucked down our mixed sex juices as I cleaned her pussy, until there was no more juices left. When I had successfully licked down all our juices I pushed her hips higher and with my tongue I rimmed her ass hole. She jerked and then she slapped the top of my head as she laughed.

Afterwards we showered together and then we made our way to the king size bed where she snuggled up against my left side and put her head on my shoulder while I stroked my fingers through her long wet hair. After a while Bella raised her head and planted her chin on my chest, looking at me she said, "Edward if things changed tomorrow would you regret being with me?" I found this to be a strange question. She looked to be so serious. I placed my thumb and forefinger just below her chin and said, "Bella love, nothing is going to change." My answer didn't seem to satisfy her but it did calm her or so I thought.

Bella snuggled her head back onto my shoulder and I went back to stroking her hair –thinking about what she had said.

Soon her breathing became soft and deep. I knew she had fallen asleep. As I still stroked her hair I thought about what she had asked me. What could she possibly think would change tomorrow? As I lay there thinking about it I looked down at her angelic face and kissed the top of her head before I joined her and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke the next morning I woke to an empty bed.

* * *

**Okay, I know your all about the slap me through the computer right about now, but trust me there's a reason for all of this. *hides behind hands* lol **

**Now let me know what your thoughts are, remember it's always nice to get your readers feed back. Love you all and I hope that you all had wonderful holidays and Happy New YEAR! To you all *cheers* 2012 BABY lets make it a good one.**

**April**


	19. Chapter 19 Splintered Hearts

**Chapter 19**

**Splintered Hearts**

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**A/N: Okay so not too much to warn you all about. There is **_**no**_** lemon in this chapter. You may need some tissues though and of course no copy right was intended. I do not stake any claim to anything remotely close to Twilight. S.M owns everything Twilight related. I just play with her characters.**

**Thank you all for having patience with me on getting these chapters out. I'm trying really hard to have them done as fast as I can. My little family and I are doing well. We're still adjusting to one another, but we're enjoying every single second of it.**

**Once again I have to thank Dee for editing my work –you know you're the best.**

**My readers and reviewers there will never be enough words to express the gratitude that I have for your thoughtful words and kinds reviews.**

**That's it**

**Let's get on with it then**

**Happy reading :)**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

Somewhere in the world I'd heard this saying, "love is meant to be set free." I don't remember where I heard such a thing but in my case, there was nothing that held truer than those words.

###

My night with Edward was supposed to be a night of celebration… of love confessions and future plans –however it had quickly become a night of reminiscing and forever grasping on to the memories of how he felt, tasted and smelt.

###

I was scared –utterly terrified of facing him… with this –this catastrophe. Don't get me wrong… I would love my daughter no matter who her father was, but the fear of hurting Edward further was what brought my nightmares into my reality.

It would be easy to run from Jake, easy to tuck myself away from him, but Edward? No –leaving Edward would be the death of me.

I'd asked Carlisle to help me. He'd agreed gladly and told me that he was sure Jake was up to something as per usual. I'd conquered with Carlisle but it still didn't stop the sinking feeling I had in my gut.

We knew this was a possibility but when a doctor tells you otherwise, you're supposed to believe that they would tell the truth at all times. Aren't they given a code of sorts to abide by? Whatever the case may be I was scared shitless.

###

When the sun's morning beam peaked through the hotel curtains I couldn't help but feel the bitter gloom rather than its warmth.

I sat up clutching the cheap white hotel sheet to my chest –my hair a tattered mess, falling loosely down my back –while my other hand found its way behind myself –balancing me upright on the mattress. I turned my head slightly to take in the beautiful man beside me and boy was he stunning. His chiseled jaw had just the right contrast to the suns beam, making it somehow much more defined. His eyelashes touched just the tip of his checks perfectly –soft as feather. Three little lines squinted on his forehead as his plumb lips pulled together while he dreamed.

I would like to say he was sleeping peacefully but it didn't seem so. I hated keeping things from him, but I had no other alternative. Edward thought that Jake was making shit up and I didn't have the heart to tell him that I… that I just wasn't sure anymore… I wasn't sure of anything.

Slowly I leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek before quietly heading for the shower. I got dressed and I knew that my ensemble from last night was hardly appropriate for what I had planned for this afternoon. I called Felix and asked him to take me back to Edward's condo but to drop me off and come back for Edward.

Once I got back to Edward's condo, I put on a faded pair of comfortable maternity blue jeans and plain white t-shirt with my favorite band splashed across it… 'AC/DC.' As I was pulling on my tennis shoes my cell phone rang the caller ID notified me that it was my "lover boy."

"Hello," I shyly whispered.

"Hello? Is that all I get after you hitting and running?" He smartly remarked.

I giggled, "Well you know me… a slut and all… just ask your mother."

There was an awkward silence and I couldn't help but feel just a little bit sorry for my word play… the woman was his mother after all.

"Does she really bother you that much Bella?" He asked.

I was a little taken back by his question. Surely he knew how she made me feel?

"Edward, it's no secret that I don't like your mother… don't like is a very nice way of saying I f.u.c.k.i.n.g hate the woman… but she's part of you so… I guess she's not all that bad." I sighed.

I really meant that too. Edward had come from her and despite the nannies and butlers raising him, I was sure a part of her fieriness was inside him and that –that's what set him apart from all the rest of the men in the world, but I was more than glad that he was more so like his father.

"How did this turn into a conversation about my mother, when we have much bigger things to discuss?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

I smiled, generally pleased with his distraction from the hidden conversation we never truly had –needed to have, but never really wanted to. We knew each other far too well.

"And what conversation is that Mr. Cullen?" I teased heading for the elevator –pressing the button for the lobby.

"Well, for starters what could possibly be more important this morning then to stay in bed with me making love all day?"

"Trust me Edward… I'd love to stay in bed with you all day, but there are things that I need to take care of. I hope you understand… are you mad?"

I was scared to ask that question, but considering his cheerful playfulness I wasn't in too much trouble.

"Well, Miss Swan I might have to take it out on you a little later." He moaned.

"Did you just moan at me?" I chuckled.

"You bet your sweet ass I did." He laughed

I shook my head, smiling like nobody's business. Edward always found a way to put a smile on my face and the moment I thought about it, my smile immediately left my face. How could I be smiling at a time like this? Not just that it was inappropriate, but you would think I would be balling my eyes out or at the very least a little more depressed about the situation, but Edward… ah… he could always make me feel like every problem in the world ceased to exist.

"I've got to run Edward my taxi is here and the quicker I get this over with the faster I'll be back in your arms." I whispered entering into the lobby.

"You mean back into my bed." He sighed again.

I envisioned him running his hand down the mattress, on my side of the bed as he talked.

"Arms… bed… it all sounds like a fantastic day to me." I smiled into the phone.

"Well, just remember Miss Swan, the longer you take the more punishment you're going to receive." He warned.

"Dully noted, Mr. Cullen, I love you."

"And I love you." He promised.

"Where too Miss?" The cabby asked as I entered and closed the door behind myself.

"Seattle Hospital. Please."

###

Carlisle met me at the emergency doors as promised. It was always nice to see his friendly featured face, but today he was all business.

"Carlisle," I greeted

"Bella," He'd acknowledge.

It was strange to see Carlisle act this way. It made him seem fearless, belligerent and very determined. It was almost as if he'd shut himself down completely.

As Carlisle and I made our way down the corridor of the hospital, the painted white walls with a baby blue stripe down the center was familiar, yet strangely new and although these walls had saved many souls, they showed no sign of saving mine today.

Carlisle was by my side the entire time, even when people started their stares and whispers –no doubt thinking I was banging the father now. He was braver than I. I couldn't imagine being considered a top notch businessman only to be gossiped about –for screwing his son's whore of a girlfriend or whatever the daily trash was about today. Perhaps they thought this was his baby? _Pfft _and I was the one needing the help? These tired old bitties needed something to do to take up all their spare time. Surely there was a Wal-Mart nearby where they could buy some yarn and nit themselves a sweater? At any rate, Carlisle had agreed to help me and in doing so he set up a special meeting where we were the only three in the room… Me, Carlisle and the Doc.

This was some Jerry –ass –Springer bullshit. I'd always watched those shows –secretly loving them, but always thinking –What –the –fuck? Now I was having a 'Jerry Springer moment.' Could my life get any worse? Fuck –scratch that shit –I don't want to jinx myself… I'd done enough of that already.

"Mr. Cullen, he'll see you now." A bright eyed young brunette smiled.

Carlisle nodded and never said a word as he escorted me behind the desk where the young lady sat and into a room that held so much light I had to shield my eyes upon entering.

"Carlisle, Bella. Wont you have a seat." The doctor instructed of us only acknowledging Carlisle. I did as I was told feeling momentarily stupid that I couldn't remember his damn name.

Carlisle started, "Yes. Well. It seems that we have a slight problem Doctor."

The Doctor looked at us confused, "What seems to be the problem?" He asked so nonchalantly, but he wasn't fooling me.

"You're the problem!" I shouted so loud I startled myself.

"Mrs. Black."

"Miss Swan. I'm divorced now." I corrected him.

"Pardon me Miss Swan, but I'm not sure I understand." He eyed me suspiciously.

I was fuming. Carlisle placed his outreached arm across my chest and placed his hand onto my shoulder in an attempt to calm my ass down.

"What Miss Swan is trying to say is that during her patient care you told her that she was pregnant and how far along she was." When Carlisle spook he spook so calmly and precise that it had a ring of professionalism to it at all times –he was impressive to say the least.

"Yes as I do with all of my pregnant patients Sir." The nameless doctor still stared dumbfounded.

"Well you see doctor we have a problem then because you told this young lady that she was two months pregnant in her first trimester –which indicated that she was having _my_ grandchild. Now there has been another man who has brought documentation signed by you and this hospital that she was not two months pregnant, that she was in fact three months pregnant –signifying that she would be caring his child." He spoke matter-of-factly.

"I see… That would be a problem Mr. Cullen. I would gladly clear this all up for you but I need Bella's permission. Patient confidentiality you understand?"

I looked to the doctor in disbelief, "Go on Doc. Why else would Mr. Cullen be here?" I huffed –agitated at best.

"Alright then if you could just sign this." He pushed a form that allowed him to tell Carlisle whatever I asked him too and in doing so I couldn't sue him or the hospital –an action I found to be completely ridicules but… I understood it.

"There!" I said, pushing the signed papers across his desk.

"Well Sir I told Bella that she was three months pregnant. What she told you or your son really isn't my concern." The bastard lied and without as much as a blink.

I jumped up from my chair completely pissed off, "What the fuck are you talking about? You told me I was two months pregnant!"

It hit me then, "How do you know Jacob? What did he give you to lie? How much? I know he gave your ass something… he had five hundred thousand from selling Izzy's!" I looked to Carlisle now –who was clearly thinking.

No one was saying anything for what seemed like an eternity, but with the simple gesture of Carlisle's hand raised in the air, we all stopped talking to allow him to voice his opinion.

"I would like to see all documentations please. I will of course pay for your understanding and secrecy of the matter." Carlisle eyed the doctor as I watched the doctor look back at Carlisle with an 'I'm going to get rich quick look on his face.'

"Carlisle, _don't_ give this man any damn money!" I screamed, "We're going to sue him for malpractice!" I practically hissed at the man.

"No we're not Bella." He eyed me, "We're not suing anyone." He looked to the doctor, reassuring him.

When the doctor left the room Carlisle wouldn't even look at me let alone talk to me. I expected this sort of reaction out of Esme but never Carlisle. In the few short months that I've known Carlisle he'd always been on my side. Always understood where I'd come from and above it all… he'd always trusted me. Today –in this very room he was like the rest of the snobby rich people –he believed nothing unless it was on paper or paid for. People's words meant shit to him. There was no such thing as honesty today.

"Carlisle, please, you've got to believe me." I whispered so low that I barley heard my own voice.

"Bella, this is hardly the place or the time for this conversation. We'll talk about it later." His voice seemed so harsh that I'd barley recognized it.

When the doctor came back into the bright room I felt my heart liquefy until there was nothing left. I knew that those documents weren't going to say what I wanted them to say. The issue now was how was I going to prove that this doctor had lied to Carlisle Jacob and me?

Carlisle passed the doctor a cheque –with probably a very large amount written on it and the doctor in turn passed Carlisle some papers in large white envelope. The doctor and Carlisle said their goodbyes leaving me standing there looking like a fool. Carlisle grabbed my elbow to drag me away when he realized that I wasn't moving. I just didn't really comprehend what was going on in that room.

Was Jake the father or was Edward?

My mind was running a mile a minute. What was Jake up too? I knew that there had to be some connection to Jake rather than Edward. Edward wanted this baby and so I knew that he wasn't trying to cover it up, but Jake? Jacob would do just about anything to get me back… and paying off a doctor to say this baby was his would be no sweat off his ass. Now the issue was proving that someone had played with the test results.

I needed another doctor and I needed one fast.

"Well, open it!" my impatient words came out in a hiss.

Carlisle reached over and grabbed me by the arm, tugging harder than what was necessary and towed me down the corridor and onto the street –as if I was a five year old child taking a temper tantrum.

Once we reached the asphalt Carlisle tossed my arms away from him, "Now see here, I won't allow you to make a fool out of my business, family and least of all _not_ my son. I believe that you're a good girl Isabella and that you love my son, but I also know that you've had a rough life and to be honest my son can provide you with a life that you've always wanted."

"Carlisle, I would never…" I started, only for him to place his hand in front of his own face.

"Please understand that no matter what is in this envelop I won't think any different of you. I can understand why you desperately want this little girl to be my sons' child, but if it's proven that she is not… well I won't be lying to my son. I hope that you'll understand."

I nodded. As much as I wanted to cry from his hurtful and untrusting words I couldn't fault him for loving his son so much. I was in awe of him –if I was to be truthful. The man loved his son's more than anything in the world and right there… right than –I understood why Carlisle had agreed to help me. It wasn't because he wanted to help me; it was because he wanted to protect his son. I also knew that once he opened those documents that they would indeed prove that Edward _wasn't_ the father –I just had a feeling.

I watched Carlisle expression change from bad to worse and my worst nightmares were discovered in a matter of three minutes. I knew from this point on that I was on my own in finding out the truth. Carlisle didn't see that someone was up to no good –even after yesterday when he'd agreed that Jake was up to something –no, all that was gone now because the documentation proved otherwise. Carlisle was a practical man –he wasn't a believer of conspiracy.

Carlisle left me there standing in front of the hospital. The look on his face said it all as he handed me the envelope upon leaving. I shouted at Carlisle, "Wait, I have the ultrasound at home that proves I was eight weeks pregnant!" When I shouted this to Carlisle he turned around only to turn back around –shaking his head as he told me to tell Edward the truth. I'd disappointed him more than I could bear. I'd taken his dream of becoming a grandfather away from him. I'd made him look like a fool to his wife, by proving her thoughts of me to be correct and worst of all… I was about to tear his son's heart out.

###

I found myself hopelessly wondering around the streets of Seattle trying to figure out how to use this ultrasound to my benefit. If I used it, the hospital records would show differently and they would probably say that they'd made a mistake. I could go to another hospital and get them to take another ultrasound to figure it out, but let's face it… doctors all stick together… I'd be red tagged and no one would take me on as a patient. I figured all dates and ultrasounds had been compromised. They would have changed my conception date and so every single hospital would say the same thing.

_I was screwed. _

I stopped dead on the street –giving up and turned heading back to the hospital. I had no idea what I was looking for wondering the streets of Seattle… a miracle?… god?… who knows?, but I can tell you this –I found nothing. So the next decision had to be what was I going to tell Edward and what was I going to do if Edward _finally_ had enough of my drama –asking me to leave him alone?

**Edward's Point Of View **

When I woke up I was shocked to find myself in bed alone. I hated when she did this sort of Houdini bullshit. She'd done this on so many occasions so I didn't want to panic, but considering everything that had taken place in the past forty eight hours I wasn't taking any chances –I just wanted to hear her voice.

When she'd answered right away and I could hear the smile in her voice I knew that physically she was alright. It was when she started talking about my mother that I knew something was on her mind. I figured it was all to do with my mom and I was sure my mother got involved in the situation at the police station somehow –which would explain why my mother had picked me up and not Bella –we had yet to discuss this minor detail as well as what my father was helping her with.

The conversation flowed well and I got her to laugh a few times, but I _could_ sense the reluctance in her voice. There was something definitely going on and as per usual it left my stomach restless.

After we hung up with one another confessing our love, I quickly got dressed and when I called Felix I was shocked that he was waiting outside for me –apparently Bella had already sent him for me. When I asked him where he'd driven her he said home and that was all. I smiled in knowing that she was smart enough to take a taxi. Asking Felix to come back and get me would definitely help her cover up where she was going.

_What's with all the secrecy? _

I asked Felix to drive around for a little while to see if we could spot her, but Seattle is a large ass place, population 608,660 souls. I knew that there would be no way in hell I would ever find her on these busy streets. I was about to give up when Felix's cell started to ring. He pressed the button on his blue tooth,

"Hello, yes, Miss Swan. Right away." He confirmed.

I was smiling until his eyes shot me a pained look in the review mirror,

"What's going on Felix? Where is she?"

"She's at the hospital" He said.

"What! Is she hurt?" I shout out, barley recognizing my own voice, "Is she in labor? Speak damn you!"

"I don't know Sir. She just asked if I could pick her up outside the Seattle Hospital." He confirmed.

Felix sped up the pace now and I was glad that I didn't have to instruct him to do so. What the fuck was going on?

The traffic was insufferable. Was everyone on a fucking lunch break? I could see the hospital from where we were at a dead stop –behind so many other cars and so I told Felix that I was going to run from here.

The streets were just as busy as the damn road. I felt like I was swimming against the roughness of a current as I pushed blankness faces out of my way. It was like a nightmare –running though quicksand and never getting anywhere. This was going to be impossible –but I wouldn't give up –never. I pushed until I seen her, my beauty.

There she was sitting on a slab of cement that was used for a barrier –her face trying hard to rest against her knees –they would've other than her enormous pregnant belly –rubbing her eyes. I became more concerned when she finally lifted her face to look down the street for Felix. Her tears were streaming down her cheeks her face red as a tomato as she wiped feverishly at her fallen tears.

I didn't wait for the crosswalk to notify me that it was safe to cross the busy street; instead I ran _fast_ dogging oncoming traffic to get to her. When she spotted me she tried to stand up, but failed miserably.

When I got to her she practically fell into my arms. She was in hysterics. She kept repeating my name over and over in small whispers, as I shh'd her and told her that everything was going to be just fine.

I sat her down on the sidewalk while people stared at me. One lady actually pointed at me and whispered to her companion, "is that Edward Cullen?" Bella looked up and realized that I was sitting on the ground.

"Get up Edward!" She practically screamed "You're Edward Fuck'n Cullen."

"So what's that have to do with where I park my ass?" I asked.

"You shouldn't be sitting on the ground wiping the tears from such an ordinary girls face." She sniffed standing up.

I shook my head flabbergasted as I watched her hid her face in her own hair. What was this crap? I sat there looking up at my pregnant lady for a few minutes and then I stood up dusting off the knees of my pants.

Slowly I pulled her into my arms and tucked her hair behind her left ear. "You're far too beautiful to be hiding yourself behind your hair." I told her.

"Edward, I just want to go home." She cried.

"Okay love, okay."

###

Once we got home Bella was so out of it, that I carried her to the elevators. This wasn't a romantic gesture. I'd tried to take her hands off of my sweater but she had her hands fisted so tightly into its material that I just couldn't bear to tell her to walk. She was acting like she'd come completely undone without my arms around her.

The apartment seemed different somehow –like I hadn't lived here in ages. There was something definitely off. Bella cried long into the night, never telling me what was going on and I never asked. I just wanted to be there for her. When morning came I once again woke in my bed alone.

I pulled on my worn out joggers and headed for the kitchen –only finishing tying the drawstring when I entered the doorway. There she sat at the kitchen table one foot on the bench of the chair while the other dangled –in my matching gray worn out sweater –she was stunning.

"Edward," She gestured to the other chair beside her. I smiled and sat down beside her. I was about to ask her what was wrong when she slid a white envelope across the table towards me.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Edward, after Jake said he was the father of my baby I asked your father to help me. He agreed and this was the information that the doctor gave us." I stared at her blankly.

Suddenly putting everything together for the first time –was I really ready to go down this road with her or was I willing to let the truth stay hidden in this envelope for the rest of our lives?

The truth was that I wouldn't be able to live my life never really knowing the truth. I didn't really care if she was Jacob's. I mean of course I wanted her to be mine, but she would still be a part of Bella and I could raise her as my own –no matter the DNA –right?

I stared at that white envelop like it was my own personal life preserver. Bella reached across the table and gave my hand a squeeze before she spoke.

"Edward, there's something going on here. I don't know who the father is, but I was told two different dates. You saw the ultrasound. I showed it to you. It stated two months. I can't prove that Jake bribed the doctor, but I'm going to do everything I can to find out. I want you to know that no matter what… I never wanted to hurt you… I never lied about this… I would never."

I now had my answers without even opening the damn thing. I felt a surge of hate wash over me as the words Jacob shouted at me rang truer than ever before. I would still love this little girl and raise her like my own, but I couldn't help but wonder if she would look like her father –If I would be staring in to her eyes –_Jake's_ eyes. I didn't want to think this way but I couldn't help where my mind wondered off to.

Bella immediately started to cry when I didn't respond to her so called confession. I wasn't sure what I was more angry about… that Jake had impregnated my love or the fact that he was right… this little girl would always remind me of him… I would never be her dad –biologically… or the fact that my dream of becoming a father was crushed. I needed a moment to collect myself before I said what I needed to say.

I stood from the chair only for her to claw at my bare arms and chest –bagging me to stay "Please, Edward… let's talk about this… please?" She bagged. I couldn't… I just couldn't. I wasn't mad at her. The situation was fucked up. I just needed a minute… just a minute to allow my brain to process it all. I felt numb, like this _was_ happening to someone else, not us.

I walked quickly to my bedroom and closed the door behind myself, sliding down its frame. I fell to the floor crying to god –bagging him to make it right –asking if I was being punished for all the wrong that I'd done in my life and when I'd calmed myself enough to have a rational discussion with Bella –I found myself alone.

She wasn't just gone from the kitchen; she was gone from the condo entirely. When I walked into the kitchen and she wasn't there I checked every single room in the condo –running from room to room looking for her. I called Felix and he said that he hadn't heard from her at all. He was concerned and asked me if I wanted him to go out and look for her. I told him to circle the city a few times and I would do the same.

###

After searching for what felt like hours we both came up empty handed. Bella was gone and I had no idea where she was. I'd called Rose and Charlie –that's the only places I knew she would go and I knew her father would be last on her list. Where was she? Why was she always running from me?

I knew that she was scared –probably terrified and my actions didn't help matters, but in this situation I just couldn't be the brave knight and shining armor that she'd always seen me as. I was a crumbling mess and I needed her as much as she needed me.

When I made it back home there was a message on my machine,

"Edward, it's me. I know that you'll be worried and probably looking for me and this is why I'm leaving you this message. I hate talking to these things… When you get in give me a call on my cell… alright than… talk to you soon… if you want too… um… kay…bye."

I picked up the receiver immediately and dialed her number. It didn't take her long to answer. She asked me to meet her at Cullen and Son's and when I told her that I loved her she hung up on me. With this action I suddenly felt my heart leap into my throat. I knew that whatever was behind the revolving doors at Cullen and Son's was something that I would rather _not_ know.

###

Felix wasn't close to be remotely fast enough to take me to her, so I called a cab –something I hardly ever do. It was dark out by this time and all employees were long gone by now, only the janitor would be walking the poorly lit hallways of my father's company.

I waved to the door man and asked if he'd seen Bella. He told me that she was waiting in my father's office. I smiled that they allowed her in. She was sly enough that she could see her way through a wet paper bag.

My black down coat was wet from the rain that never seemed to let up. I shook it out with my shoulders –the rain drops leaving a puddle on the phony wooden floor below me. The light flickered above me like a horror movie. I tapped it slightly with my umbrella and watched the light grow brighter. I smiled satisfied that I'd fixed it.

When the doors opened Rose's desk held a piece of paper –creased at the center so it stood like a greeting card –with my name scrawled across it. I set my umbrella down beside the desk –taking my down coat off to place it on its rightful hanger and took the note addressed to me in my hands –it read,

_Edward,_

_I know that I asked you to meet me here, but I can't face you._

_What I have to say should be said in person, but it would kill me to do so._

_I love you with all of my heart. I've never loved another person in this world more than__I love you. This I know to be true. It's because of that love that I have to leave. I have to end this Edward. It's not right. I can't raise this baby with you. Jake will never quit and you know it as well as I do, we'd be forever running and I don't want to run anymore, as ironic as that sounds considering this letter._

_I thought I would be able to say this to your face. You at least deserve that much, but I can't Edward. Please understand. I know that if I were there with you right now that you'd beg me to stay and I __**would**__. You deserve the best of everything and that's just something that I can't give you. _

_Right now I have no idea what's going on. I need to think about my daughter and nothing else. I'm sorry to cower out on you with this letter. Just know that I will always remember the love that we shared, even if it was for a short amount of time. My life has been blessed for the good part of a year because you were a part of it! I will never love another man as much as I love you. You Edward, YOU will always own my heart. _

_Hate me Edward. Hate me with every ounce of your being. It will be far easier than crying over me, not that I even feel worthy for your tears. Find another Edward. Move on. Promise me that you will look after yourself. Come back to Cullen and Son's, come back to the life that you were meant to lead and I promise in return it will be as if I never existed. I won't bother you again._

_Bella_

I crumbled the letter in my hand –my eyes closed and jaw clenched –my world coming to a crashing halt. How could she possibly think that a letter would be far easier than to tell me to my face? I didn't get a chance to say goodbye –to wish her farewell –to at least have my shot at trying to talk her out of it –or at the very least my closer.

What was I to do now?

I held onto the desk in front of me for support –my shoulders slouched as my head hung. I couldn't go on without her. My life was hers, didn't she know that? I didn't care that it was Jacob's so called baby. I would've helped her figure out the truth, but her letter made it so _final._

Everything that had happened in our relationship up until now had never felt so completed. I knew that there was no point in trying to look for her –she'd be gone before I made it home –she was always so proficient. Slowly I found myself sitting on the cold marble floors of my father's company, clutching solely to my love's farewell letter –my heart shattering.

###

I was woke by the soft spoken words of Rosalie Hale,

"Edward, wake up Edward."

My eyes shot open upon hearing her whispers.

"Where is Bella? Tell me Rose… please! You know where she is I know you do" I begged.

Her eyes tensed up in pain as if she felt sorry for me –as if her heart was breaking alongside my own.

"Edward, listen to me. I don't know where Bella is. I got a call this morning from her. She asked me to come down here before your father and the other employees did. She didn't want you to be embarrassed."

I shot up.

"She was still here." I acknowledged.

Rose nodded, "she watched you until you fell asleep. She called telling me what was going on. I'm so sorry Edward." She hugged me.

I eyed her confused. "What exactly are you sorry for?" I asked.

"Well for starters I thought you'd be the one breaking her heart –not the other way around." She sighed handing me a Kleenex.

"Well you can help me make it right. Call her –tell her that I love her and I don't care who the father is. Tell her to come home where she belongs." I pushed.

Rose looked at me and shook her head while wiping her own fallen tears, "I can't Edward."

"What? Why not...? Just give me your phone and I'll call her myself." I ordered.

"No Edward, I can't… because she had her phone shut off. I tried to call her this morning to change her mind, but it's been disconnected." She bowed her head.

"Of course she did." I said.

When I turned for my coat Rose stopped me and took it off the hanger herself and helped me into it, "I'll call Felix for you." She smiled.

"No, that's alright I think I'll walk today."

"Edward, don't be ridicules it's raining cats and dogs out there."

I reached for my umbrella and smiled.

When I made it back to the main lobby and out the revolving doors into the pouring down rain I didn't bother to open the damn umbrella –I didn't care if I got wet –it would suit my mood.

As I walked through the busy streets of Seattle I watched as people stared at me in confusion. I hollered at one man who just couldn't seem to stop staring. "So what if I'm a Cullen… I can walk can't I?" I screamed. He looked at me and said,

"Sir, I don't know who you are. I'm sorry for staring but I find it strange that you have an umbrella but aren't using it in this weather." I looked down at my hand and then back up to the old man. His long gray beard was soaked as well as his black fishermen's hat that lay slightly on the top of his long tatted mane. His lip was cracked slightly and his clothes were stained far more for just an underdressed man. I took a whiff and stood back a bit, realizing that he smelt of urine –he was homeless. I felt horrible. How could I think that people really cared what the hell I did? I probably looked like a fuck'n tool.

"Here" I handed the man my umbrella, "you seem to need it far more than I do." I handed him whatever amount of bills I had in my pockets and told him to get himself a warm room and some hot food. He was more than grateful for my kindness –kissing my hand like I was Jesus Christ himself.

"I'm no saint Sir, believe me." I spoke and told him he was more than welcome.

As I continued my walk down Seattle's streets it made me miss Bella even more. She would've stopped to help that man without me ever understanding why she was doing so. I would've looked at him and said, "Get a job." Bella –well she would've slapped me and made me give him the jacket off of my back. I smiled and turned around handing the man my two thousand dollar down coat and ran down the streets allowing the rain to sputter off of my face hard.

It seems that Bella had turned this little boy into a man. She'd changed me more than anyone in this world had. She'd made me a better person. She'd broken my heart –something no one on this planet had been able to do in all my years.

I needed to have her in my life. I had to find her. I had to make this right.

* * *

**Alright, now don't go hating me just yet! This is just the climax. There's going to be a few changes for the next few chapters and I know that you're all yelling at me through your computers. I always have a rhyme and reason for what I write. **

**Who do you want to be the father, Jake for more drama or Edward for the fairytale ending? What do you think about Bella running off again? Are you proud of her or are you hating her again? What about Carlisle? And last but not least what do you think of our two leading men? What do you want to see happen with Jake and what about Edward, would you like him to move on? Oh so many possibilities *rubs hands together, with evil little grin and laugh***

**Well that's it from the peanut gallery. Hope to have an update for you all soon.**

**Thanks for reading**

**April**


	20. Chapter 20 Reunited

**Chapter 20**

**Reunited**

* * *

**A/N: Okay this is very important so please read. **

**There is no lemon and S.M owns all Twilight related topics. I stake no claim. **

**There are a lot of abusive issues in this chapter. I've tried my best to make them more of a mention rather than detailed. **

**I've stated that this story is based on a _true story_. **

**A lot of if is fictitious at best –ie a millionaire is hardly what the real "Bella" was with, or the fact that she didn't know who the father was, but we have to juice it up slightly. **

**I have tried to stay very true to what had happened to her in real life. **

**Anyhow if you're uncomfortable with it… please just skip it. **

**Special thanks to you all for your patients, reading and of course reviewing. I love all feed back no matter what you write. I appreciate it all. **

**You all know I have to thank DEE**

**That's it**

**Let's get on with it**

**Happy reading.**

* * *

**Bella's Point Of View**

They say time heals all wounds, but is it possible that time only temporarily mends what cannot be fixed?

###

Life hasn't been easy without _him _in my life. Leaving _him_ took everything from me. I was no longer _his_ Bella –_his_ love –I was Izzy once more.

###

I've had my baby girl, Renesmee –strange name I know. It's a cross between his mother's name and my own mother's. I hated Esme… yes, but when I named my daughter all I could think of was how proud _he_ would be.

She's a beautiful little girl –dark hair, green eyes and a cute little button nose –her skin ashen as a snowfall –her cheeks rosy and her lips perfectly round and pouty –no doubt she will break a few hearts –she looks just like me –It scares me sometimes.

I'm living in Montesano now –not too far away from Phoenix, Forks or Seattle. I ran as fast as my coward legs would take me. It was right for me to leave –to give _him_ a chance. I knew it couldn't last with him –how could it?

Once I made it to Montesano I gave birth to my bouncing baby girl no more than three weeks later –weighing seven pounds three ounces. I thought about giving her up for adoption –to give her a life that was better suited for her, but once I saw her beautiful eyes I knew that I couldn't do that. So I did the next best thing, I gave her to my mother Renee.

It wasn't exactly the easiest of things to do, but I wasn't in the right state of mind to be mining my daughter.

For fuck sakes I couldn't even tell her who her god damn father was. How could I possibly be able to mother her –teach her right from wrong –guide her –when I was so misguided myself. I hardly knew right from wrong?

Once again I was a coward.

I'm good for nothing –good for no one and for that I don't deserve to have _him_ or her in my life. At least that's how I felt after giving birth to her.

Renee? Well she was all but too happy to take Renesmee off of my hands –I guess to make up for all the mistakes she'd made as my mother –second chances and all that jazz.

I see Renesmee when I can, but for the most part I've turned to my little friend called JD –'Jack Daniels.'

My life has become empty and so I allow the alcohol to numb the pain of nothingness. It's not the best road to travel down –this I assure you, but it _is_ the easiest. It's too hard to feel anything –I don't want to feel anything.

_He _was everything to me.

I'd hoped that I would be able to find out the truth about whom Renesmee's father was but all I ever hit was dead ends. I'd planned to go back to _him_ once I found out the truth –no matter what the outcome –and let him know, but it never happened. When one year turned into two I just made the decision to let it go and move on. I was sure_ he'd_ done the same.

There have been several men since_ him_ and when I mean several –I mean several. I guess I'd turned into quite the drunken bar whore –who'd made quite the name for herself –and truthfully I didn't care –it felt more real to me than anything else –perhaps because that's all I was ever used to –who knows.? But one after the other they came and went. They always had something wrong with them. I tossed them out like yesterday's garbage and I didn't care what they thought of me.

Life goes on and so this shall be the path I've chosen.

###

"Bella!" Leah called out to me, "Eric is waiting for you." I nodded.

I started working at a bar that I'd called home to for the past four years now –"York's Shire" Eric Yorkie was the sole owner of the bar –me and bars I know –we started hanging out last year and then one thing led to another and well –we're living together. I'm not sure if I should call him my boyfriend. I mean we live together, but I don't love him or feel for him in that manner. It's not his fault though I'm just broken there –fucked I guess. I care for him, but I'm afraid that I will never love anyone like I loved _him._

Leah is a waitress here and we've sort of hit it off as friends. Her feistiness reminds me of Rose –it helps me miss her a little less. I haven't spoken to Rose, or anyone from my old life –it's just too hard. Rose calls my mother on occasion. My mother tells her that I'm well, although she has no idea because I haven't visited my daughter in the past four years much –maybe once a month –but my mother has been able to keep her raising Renesmee a secret thus far. I was scared that Jacob would find her and so I made my mother promise to keep her hidden –she moved so many times it was hard to keep track of her myself.

I know it sounds horrible, but I wanted Renesmee to have a chance at a proper upbringing without _all_ this drama.

Eric was as good as it was going to get for me. Like I always say, "It is what it is." He wasn't the most attractive man on the planet. He had dark hair and eyes… scares where his once bad acne had left their marks. He was lanky with no hint of a muscle anywhere and his manhood, well let's just say it's a good thing that he's good at licking pussy –or he'd be out on his ass.

He was _okay._

"Bella," Eric greeted by kissing my cheeks. I smiled as I always did –putting on a happy little show of affection –when I was dying inside –I wanted to scrap the hell out of my face –just to feel alive.

"I have a little surprise for you this evening." He smiled.

I smiled in return –right on cue. I felt like a robot most days –push one button and I'll smile, push another and I might twirl around for you too.

###

I was quite surprised. Not only did we walk down a deserted little beach, but he had a candle lit picnic waiting for us by the darkened water –the stars above brightly shinning.

My gut started to roll –did I forget an anniversary or something?

"Bella, we've known one another for a while now…" he started.

My heart leaped into my throat as the words started to flow out of his mouth… "Will you marry me?" I wasn't sure how to answer him. I never saw myself getting married again –not after the fuck cluster of a marriage I'd had with Jake, but if I were to get married I would've gotten married to _Edward_… Not Eric.

It hurts so much to even think his name and why would I be thinking of _him_ at a time like this?

This…this was the very reason that I'd agreed to marry Eric. I _had _to get_ Edward_ out of my head once and for all.

Friendship in a marriage didn't work. Wanting to marry a man that I loved but was so out of my league didn't work –so why not marry someone that I cared very little about? I mean how could I possibly get hurt?

It wasn't long after that I'd agreed to marry Eric, that Eric planned the whole wedding. I told him to have what he wanted –all I cared about was being his wife. He thought this to be a selfless action, when really I just wanted to move on.

###

The years that followed after we had two daughters of our own Emily and Chelsea –Chelsea was the youngest. We spent six years together when I made the decision that I wanted Renesmee to come and live with us as a family.

Renesmee was ten years old now. She didn't want to come. My mother begged her to give it a try –telling her that if she didn't like it she could always return home.

I hated my mother for holding my Rezz's love. I hated her for telling her she had to live with me. I wanted Renesmee to want to be a part of this family on her own. My mother claimed that it was so that Renesmee would have a chance to know her mother, but I think she had grown tired of raising her.

We argued into the wee morning hours over this one. My mother accused me of never loving my daughter –when I gave her up for that very reason. I loved her more than anything. I wanted her to have the life I'd always dreamed for her –and perhaps now I could do that.

At least that's what I thought.

My mother still felt that I was bad for her, that I was taking her from the only family she had. I threw out the "I'm her mother" card and this is when she told me that this was why she had to bag Rezz to come and live with me. She said it was because Rezz had a right to know her mother and she wouldn't stand in the way of that.

I knew my mother was right. She was more of a mother to my little girl than I was and this was the reason I wanted her to live with us –to get to know her two half-sisters and me. She had a right to have a family.

###

Soon after Rezz moved in with us I found out that Eric was having an affair. I confronted him about it but he lied to me –said he didn't know what I was talking about.

Oh I knew, but I let it go… because simply put –I wasn't about to break up my family.

I found myself swirling down an abyss of depression. I wasn't around much at home –staying at the bar –drinking my troubles away. I hardly ever saw my girls –possibly once a month –maybe less –and that was in passing. My alcohol became an issue and I never wanted them to see me like that –so them not seeing me at all seemed better I guess.

In the end Renesmee agreed to live with us and I knew it was only because… it's what her grandmother wanted and I guess I took what I could get –I didn't deserve anything.

My ten year old daughter barely knew me and I had no one to blame but myself.

###

What was supposed to turn into a very happy life quickly turned into a fucked up tail. Eric's ex-wife died and we now had to take in his three daughters –Angela, Victoria and Lauren.

It wasn't long after that, that I also caught Eric and his oldest daughter Angela having sexual relations. I called 'Children's Aid' and they came to take the children. I felt like I was being punished, when I did something to protect them from him.

Angela was sixteen at the time and she left willingly to live with her grandmother. The other two went and lived with their aunt and uncle. My middle Emily was taken into care and my youngest was left with me, while Renesmee went back to _my_ mothers.

When six months passed Angela told 'Children's Aid' that it wasn't true_. I didn't know _what truth was anymore… I went back to Eric. Renesmee and Chelsea came home, but Emily was still in protective services. I was working hard at getting her back, but she told Children's Aid that she wanted to stay.

It broke my heart –why would she want that life?

I knew it was wrong to go back to Eric, but he's all I had left.

It wasn't long after returning home that Rezz wanted to go home to her grandmother. I found myself becoming territorial and demanded that she was staying. The argument became heated and somewhere along the line she yelled, "You're not even my mother!" I reacted horribly. I slapped her in the face and after more hitting occurred she ran to her tiny room.

I'd turned into the worst human being in the world. I'd beaten my own daughter because I was scared to fail… scared that she would leave me here to deal with it all on my own… scared that she would hate me… all because she spoke the truth.

I'd turned into a monster.

###

In the years to follow, Eric had affair after affair and I just sat there –smiled and bared it all.

I would do just about anything to keep my family together… I was tired of failure, but it always seemed that what I had to offer him wasn't enough.

At this point in our marriage Eric also started trying to control me. He would tell me how to wear my hair. He no longer wanted it natural… he wanted it blond and so… I became a blond –whatever Eric wanted Eric got. I was no longer allowed to wear mini-skirts or low cut tops… anything revealing at all –not even with him. Soon I was told I couldn't wear makeup and he broke every last pair of heals I owned.

_I allowed it. _

Our children soon started to look after the house work, meals and shopping. Eric and I spent most of our days working at the bar and nights drinking in it. We were barley home.

Rezz was caring after her two half-sisters most days. Getting them up for school… bathing them… making them breakfast… helping with homework… dressing them… putting them to bed. She's become their mother as well as mine. She's put my drunken ass to bed on more than one occasion. Bailed me out of jail several times… she even gives me advise on my own marriage.

My daughter has become more mature than her own mother and a part of me is jealous of her because of that.

But tonight –tonight is where _Bella_ woke up.

###

The music was pumping –the bass heavy. The crowd was cheering and singing along to the band. The money flowing in like it was a never ending river.

Eric was most happy when we were making money. He reminded me so much of Jake that it scares me most days, but not enough to leave I guess.

This was my dream as a child –when I'd married Jake and so "I'm living the dream" They always say, "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it."

At any rate, Eric was being exceptionally flirtatious with me tonight. I liked it when he was like this with me. It made me feel special –even if it was once a week –sometimes once a month. It usually happened when one of the married women he was fucking around with called it off.

_I took what I could get. _

People didn't know what went on behind closed doors and I wanted it that way. I was getting good at keeping these types of secrets –just that –secrets. I guess I felt like I didn't deserve any better than this. This was how my life was supposed to be.

###

"Eric!" I yelled to get his attention, but it did no good. I screamed louder, "ERIC!" but once again he didn't hear me.

There was a fight going on outside between two women and wouldn't you know it… I got the fucking privilege to break it up.

"Fuck you bitch! He's my fucking man!"

"No Fuck you!"

It always seemed like someone was fucking someone's man.

"Hey…! Break it the fuck up!" I screamed pushing myself through the crowd of on lookers.

When I arrived the two girls were tangled together like damn pretzels. Once I and our bouncer got them separated we told them to go home or we were going to call the cops. They left willingly.

As I was turning heading back into the bar I heard someone call out my name, _"Bella!"_ When I turned around I was shocked to see who it was,

"No fucking way... Jasper Cullen… How… the… hells… are yeah?" I smiled and leaped right into his good looking fucking arms. "Ah man you're a sight for sore eyes." I chuckled out intoxicated.

"Bella is that really you? " He questioned, putting me down on my own feet.

I smiled, "Well who the fuck did yeah think it was?" I laughed staggering across the asphalt.

He eyed me holding me in place, "You're drunk and blond." He acknowledged.

I smiled running my hands through my hair –suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Yeah well… I was looking for a change. Do you like it?" I asked.

Jasper closed the distance between us, staring down at me, "I happen to love the old Bella better. This one seems lost somewhere and I don't like that." He stated matter-of-factly.

I was left standing there after he kissed my forehead and walked passed me.

"Hey!" I hollered –running to him, "You're just going to say hey and fuck off like that?" I accused.

"Nope, I'm going to do my job… the running off part… that's your special isn't it?" He smiled and headed back in.

I stared after him. His words should've hurt me, but they didn't. I knew that he was only protecting his brother and knowing that made me happy.

When I walked back in Jasper had taken his place at center stage. I couldn't believe that I'd forgotten his band was called, "The Covenant." I should've known better than to hire them when the name sounded so familiar to me.

It suddenly dawned on me –shit he's going to tell _him _where I was.

I ran to Jasper's side asking him if I could have a minute with him before his next set. He slyly remarked that I was the boss.

"Jasper, please you can't tell _Edward_," I choked out his name, "you can't tell _Edward_ where I am okay?" I begged with my eyes.

He sighed before pressing his hand to my shoulder, "Bella, if I could do that I would –trust me. I watched Edward go through so much after you left him… I'd hardly want him to go through it again."

"Great, then we'll keep this between the two of us." I smiled tapping his shoulder right back.

"You didn't let me finish. I said I would love to, but it's not possible." My eyes opened in horror.

"Listen Jasper," I tried again.

"He's here Bella. He's here at 'York Shire'." My mouth dropped open just in time for my hand to capture it.

"Has he seen me yet?" I whispered –my throat suddenly dry. I stood still my back to the audience –frozen in terror.

"Yes. He wasn't sure at first. He thought he was seeing things, but once I got a good look at you outside I knew he wasn't wrong. He's been watching you for a few hours now –he had to convince me that it was you."

"I see. Well you could tell him that I talked to you and I'm someone else. I'll leave for the rest of the night and that will be that." I rushed out.

"No! I can't Bella. He has a right to know about that little girl. It's eaten him up for the past fifteen years. Give him some closer." He shot back.

As painful as I thought this quest to be I knew that I'd left that door opened and I had to close it for him.

###

The band started to play again –filling the bar with heavy metal music. I turned around slowly –facing the crowd, but I couldn't see anything due to the spot light shining on my face. My stomach was an utter mess –I feared spewing everywhere on the dance floor.

Somewhere out in that crowd of people –behind the bright light shining in my face –_Edward_ sat.

**Edward's Point Of View**

After _she_ left I did everything that _she'd _asked of me. I went back to Cullen and son's becoming the top CEO of all of Seattle. I'd helped the less fortunate. I even started another relationship –which was short lived –I just didn't have the time for a girlfriend –so I dated to fill the void.

I continued to fix up 'Izzy's Place' in hopes that one day _she'd _return to me, but every single thing I fixed I redid. I started to wonder if she'd approve or hate it. I wanted everything to be just right for her if _she_ ever returned.

I didn't do it to get _her_ back. If_ she_ saw it and loved it, but still didn't want it or me… I'd be okay with that. I just hated that nothing in _her_ life seemed to ever be completed. _She'd_ always left opened doors. _I_ needed closer and so did_ she_.

I often thought of that little girl. Every year that passed became harder to think of her, but I looked for her just as hard as I looked for _Bella. _It was always a dead end because I never knew what _Bella_ had planned to name her –we'd never had that discussion.

Each year that came and went, I wondered what her little face would look like. If she was mine, would she have my eyes… nose… face. I hated_ Bella_ for taking her from me –for leaving me… for breaking my heart and for making me feel this way about _her_, but I loved _her_ too_… I still do._

The kind of love that _Bella_ and I shared is the kind of love that you just can't get over.

Fifteen years passed –exactly one year today. I was always down in the dumps when this date came –wallowing myself in a six pack of beer –_her_ favorite kind. That's why Jasper asked me to come and watch his band play at this bar in Montesano. I really didn't want to go but what else did I have to do. It had been so long since I'd had any fun.

I agreed to go and asked Tanya a woman that worked for me and had been asking me on a date for some time now –to come with me. She'd agreed and so this is where everything changed.

###

Walking into this little bar, didn't impress Tanya very much. She'd dressed up for a classy place and this was far from it. I knew that she was very disappointed in my idea of a first date, but I'd changed –it wasn't about money with me anymore –thanks to_ her_.

I was always forever trying to replace_ her_ with someone like _her. _ They'd have her brown hair, chocolate colored eyes –maybe close to the same smile –shared interests, but they were never the same –no one compared to _her._

So you can imagine my shock when I first saw the blond. I went straight to Jasper telling him that I was certain_ she_ was _Bella._ He sympathetically placed his hand on my shoulder in reassurance that she wasn't.

I hated that everyone thought I was crazy and perhaps I was. I missed _her _incredibly too much. So much so that here I was on a date, wishing someone else was here –to the extent that I was seeing_ her_ –and as a blond no less –_she'd _never do such a thing. _Her_ hair was perfect.

As the night went on I couldn't take my eyes off of _her_. _She_ resembled_ her_ so much. The way she shyly bit down on her lip –tossed her hair over her shoulder –right down to her tapping her fingernails off the bar top.

Was I completely insane or was it _her_? Those were the only two options that I could come up with.

I begged Jasper to talk with her. I needed to know if I was going crazy. I watched as Jasper ran outside after_ 'the Bella look a like' _and I watched his expression when he returned. His sad look said it all_... It was her._

She ran up the stairs towards the stage after him. They seemed to be in a heated argument. Jasper eyed my corner of the room saying something to her and went back to take his stance at center stage.

_Bella _turned to the crowd looking terrified and embarrassed –she knew I was here.

I watched as she squinted through the spotlight looking for me.

I sat there waiting until her eyes connected with my own –like I was waiting to hear the winning number on my lottery ticket –the tension filled the air. –ignited like a firecracker ready to explode and when her eyes finally found mine… that's exactly what happened.

Bella looked at me with both a happy and painful expression and I looked at her like the sun had finally found a place in my darkened world once more.

I stood leaving Tanya sitting there in our darkened corner and headed for the front door. I watched Bella's expression turn from shock to being confused as I walked out it.

When I hit the sidewalk, my hands found my legs and my head fell between them. I took in a few deep breaths and then steadied myself against a parking meter. I knew Bella, well enough to know that she'd follow me out here and I didn't want to look like a complete tool –but I definitely needed the support of the meter.

My back was to her when I heard her shoes clicking and then stopping as she reached the asphalt.

"_Edward" _She barley spoke.

I closed my eyes taking in the sound of her voice. I wanted to savor it. My memories did it no justice.

When I turned around her face was different … tired … skinny… unhappy. I could see it.

"_Bella"_ I smiled, trying my best to stay together.

I tried my best to give her, her favorite crooked little grin, but it was impossible. I couldn't smile in happiness, not after seeing the way she looked –what had she done to herself?

"It's awkward. I know. I just…. Well I just wanted to say hello." She smiled, fidgeting with her fingers as she turned back for the door.

"Wait! I… um… "I started but the words seemed to get lost somewhere in my throat.

"You what, Edward?" She rolled her eyes at me –something I missed incredibly_ too_ much.

I walked closer to her until I was staring down at her face. I felt like far away she wasn't real –like she was a mirage. I needed to be this close –to smell her –touch her.

She swallowed in nervousness as my hand slowly reached for her face, but her guarded yet familiar eyes never left mine. My own swallow followed as my hand was only inches from touching her again.

"Edward, are you coming back in?" Tanya's voice interrupted us.

My hand found its way back to my side and Bella took a step back –closing the distance between us.

"Um," I cleared my throat –blinking a few times –trying to bring myself back to reality, "Yes… _Tanya_… I'll be right in; I'm just catching up with a… old friend." I smiled awkwardly as she headed back into the bar.

When I turned to look back at Bella, she was smirking, "What?" I eyed her.

"Old friend? Some things never change do they Edward? It was nice seeing you again." She huffed and headed back towards the front door.

I ran after her –grabbing her arm and pulling her back to me, "You ran out on me once without allowing me to fight for you and I sure as hell, am not going to let you walk out on me again!" I barked at her

"_Edward_, I can't do this." She cried –pulling her arm free from my grasp.

I stared at her in shock –I'd thought she was happy to see me –maybe I'd read her wrong –maybe…

"Edward_,_ stop over analyzing every little thing I do. I know you better than you know yourself… I can't do this here. Meet me later?" she asked.

I nodded not sure how to react… why couldn't she do this here… what was she so worried about?

"Edward," She cautionary went to place her hand onto my shoulder and then thought better of it –closing her fingers into a tight fist at her side. "I can't do this here because they're too many ears listening and I don't think this is the sort of conversation you want to have in front of your girlfriend." She looked to the ground.

"Excuse me?" I rasped out, "Girlfriend…who Tanya?" I waved towards the entrance of the bar.

She smiled, "I just naturally assumed she was your girlfriend."

"_Date_… she's my _date_." I stammered –suddenly very nervous.

"Oh I see." She bit her bottom lip –something I was so_ very_ grateful to witness. "You got a pen?"

"Um, pardon me?" I cleared my throat.

"Pen… so I can mark down a time and place for you to meet me." She chuckled and reached into my breast pocket, "some things never change." She grinned marking an address and time on my business card. She clicked the pen, "CEO?" She questioned looking up at me threw her eyelashes.

I smiled back knowing that this pleased her, "Yep." I pooped the P as she used my chest to write on "The biggest CEO in all of Seattle actually."

"Impressive. I'd say I was shocked, but I always knew the potential was there." She grinned as she placed the card back into my breast pocket –stopping to give it a little tap before heading back into the bar.

I watched as she walked away chewing on my pen.

When I went back in I found Tanya and apologized for my behavior. I told her that I'd have to cut the evening short, but that I'd make it up to her –but I wasn't sure that I could. I called her a cab rather than taking her home myself because I was afraid that Bella would run. I wasn't about to leave her here alone and give her the opportunity to bail on me again.

Tanya wasn't happy that she was going home in a cab –it wasn't what women like her did –but I couldn't send Felix away –I needed him.

When I told Felix what was going on he wanted to come in and see her. I didn't see anything wrong with it –_boy was I wrong._

Felix practically ran –tripping over his own two very large feet to see her –he looked like a huge gorilla. When he did see Bella he ran right to her. The next thing I know Felix and this other man were in a _very _heated conversation. Which Bella looked to be in the middle of? I went over there to defuse the situation.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"And just who the fuck are you?" This dark haired, frail looking man asked.

"I'm Edward and you are?" I asked –looking at Bella's once again embarrassed face.

"Eric!"

"It's nice to meet you Eric." I went to shake his hand but he left me hanging. "What seems to be the problem gentlemen?" I asked.

"The problem is… that this burley fucker here… can't seem to keep his hands off of my _wife!"_ He growled –emphasizing each word.

I heard what he said but it was like my brain was still trying to process it. "Excuse me?" I looked to Bella –whose eyes were pleading with me. "I'm sorry… um I'm just confused … because Felix here told me that she was his girlfriend." Felix who quickly caught on said,

"That's right boss. I thought she was my girl. I'm sorry Miss but from behind you look a lot like my woman. I meant no harm."

My ears went deaf at that moment. I knew they were apologizing to one another but all I could hear was… _wife..._ _My Bella_ wasn't _mine_ anymore… she belonged to someone else. I turned around without saying anything and headed for the door.

I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

My heart had been broken, but it was slowly becoming bearable –but now it was as though she'd just ripped it out all over again –I could barely breathe. This time it was worse, because last time I still held onto the hope that I'd find her and make it right –now I knew that she'd moved on and there was no hope of a reunion.

###

Felix wasn't long after me and when he'd gotten in the car he wore the same painful expression as I held. We didn't talk to one another until he'd reached my condo –a place in which I still occupied –I just couldn't part with it.

"Wait, Edward, Bella told me to make sure I got you to read what's in your pocket." I nodded and headed into the lobby.

I stopped and pulled out the card. Her sloppy penmanship sketched across the card.

_Strange date you've decided to reunite with me. _

_Let's make this date into something we can smile about. _

_Meet me at 'Tony's Pizza' tonight at eleven pm. _

_Don't be late. _

_Love: Bella._

I smiled and turned for the door, but Felix was gone. I smiled again knowing that she'd done that on purpose. She wanted to make sure no one saw the car. I also wore the shit eating grin because I couldn't help but pick up on the _Love Bella_ part of her little note.

I reached for my cell and called a cab.

###

Here I am now standing out front of a little rundown pizza joint and in Armani no less. I grinned knowing that she'd be inside getting a kick out of it. And I was right at my assumption. Bella was off in a corner chuckling away.

As I headed toward her she kicked the chair out with her foot for me to sit across from her. She'd already ordered a medium pizza and two cokes. I sat down and neither one of us said anything. We ate in complete silence just staring at one another. It was when we were outside that she stared to talk,

"_Edward_, it's been a long time… I mean… I don't think it's because of me… I just… Er… why is this so hard?" She grumbled kicking a stone down the sidewalk.

"Walk with me?" I tenderly asked –extending my hand for her to take. She eyed my hand for a few seconds and then looked up at me –her eyes full of caution. I smiled friendly, "I won't bite." I gave her, _her_ crocked grin and then she smiled back timidly taking my hand into hers.

"It doesn't have to be hard. We're two old friends having a walk and catching up." I started heading towards the little park down the road.

"We're more than just friends and that's the problem Edward." She countered.

It was so easy to have her here with me… it felt right –almost like time had stood still and nothing had changed.

Bella never brought up her marriage and so I felt no obligation to bring it up. I knew that something was wrong there. She was acting the same way she'd acted when she was married to Jake. I wished she would open up and I knew she would in time, but tonight was too perfect to ruin it with the issues of her marriage.

"You've changed."

"How so?" I asked.

"You seem more… I don't know… guarded… I guess." She stumbled for the words.

I leaned in closer taking her other hand in mine so that we were facing one another, "I'm never guarded with you. I'm myself when I'm with you." I leaned in slowly,

"Edward, I can't… I can't do this… I'm married… I …"

I leaned in little by little stopping her from speaking –our eyes wondering one another's. Her lips rounding and parted as her body nudged closer to my own.

I let go of her hand in order to reach for her face. My hand trembling as it ran through her unfamiliar blond hair –my fingers knotting in it –my thumb stopping to rest just below her right ear lobe. Bella's face pressed against my palm as her eyes closed and her own hand rested now against the back of mine –holding me there as if she'd never feel my touch before.

"Edward, please… we have to stop… I need you to be stronger than me. I need you to turn around and go home."

I pulled my hand from her tear filled face and sucked back a few tears of my own.

"Ok, Bella if that's what you want. I'll say goodbye… I'll let you go." I eyed her as she nodded.

I turned around ready to run for it when she softly spoke, "I need you to go home because… it's the right thing to do –because I'm no good for you Edward… I never have been. I'm not strong enough to say goodbye –I can't say goodbye –not to you. Why do you think I did it in a letter fifteen years ago?" She cried.

I turned around to face her; her knees were on the wet dew filled grass, while her hands were grasping at her chest –tears streaming down her face. I ran to her side and pulled her from the ground –holding her only inches from my face.

"Do you love me Bella?" I asked –looking at her intensely.

"Tell me how you feel… I need to know the truth. If you feel nothing for me I'll leave… I'll walk right out of your life and you'll never have to see me again… but if you love me… love me still or if you even feel like you can love me again… I promise you… I'll take you from this place right now." I vowed.

Her eyes scanned my face, "How could you ever think that I didn't love you. I never stopped loving you… loving you was the only thing that made sense to me. Loving you was the reason I left you in the first place…not knowing if you were Renesmee's father or not wasn't fair to you. I didn't want you to have to raise her as your own if she wasn't yours.

My eyes opened wide… "_Renesmee_" I said her name softly as Bella understood what she'd just reveled to me.

"Yes, I named her Renesmee after both our mother's." I smiled at her and pulled her in close. We embraced one another for what felt like hours –basking in the smells of one another. I told her that I loved her –always did and always would –nothing had changed from the first time I saw her.

She sighed into my chest while I stroked her hair. "Bella, could I meet her?" I asked boldly.

She pulled away from me then and stared directly into my eyes. "I'm not so sure that's such a great idea. I never told her much about either one of you. I just said I wasn't sure who her father was. I told her it could be several men… I tried to find out Edward, but it all pointed to Jake. I… I don't know if she's yours or not… the tests prove she's _his_."

"And what do you think?" I questioned.

"She looks like me… but she has green eyes… Jake and I have brown… She has _your_ eyes Edward." She whispered.

Bella sat down at a picnic table then and explained what had happened in the past fifteen years that I'd been absent. After I'd heard her tail I wished that I'd looked harder –sought after her –took out an ad in the newspaper –called a private investigator –something –anything more than what I did.

###

It was getting late now. I offered to walk Bella home –get her a taxi, but she insisted that she was fine. We'd agreed to meet with one another again tomorrow and that wasn't enough for me.

"How do I know you won't leave… run?" I eyed her.

She walked over to me and told me that her daughter's name was, "Renesmee Rosalie Swan and then smiled and walked down the street –only looking over her shoulder once, before she disappeared entirely.

I went back to that park and called a cab –waiting on the picnic table –the same one that Bella and I had only just occupied a few minutes ago –when I heard someone approaching.

When I turned around Bella stood before me. "Did you forget something? Change your mind about the Cab?"

She smiled, "Yes, I forgot something and I did change my mind… but not about the cab."

"Care to share?" I asked as she walked briskly toward me.

Standing before me her breathing had become uneven.

"This…" she grabbed the sides of my face in her hands and pressed her lips to mine.

I'd forgotten what her soft mouth felt like on mine. I pulled her in closer grasping her –pulling her harder into my core as my tongue board deeper into her mouth –kissing her as if it would be our last –or first –tasting her.

I ran my free hand through her hair and down her back –resting it just above her hip as I pulled her in harder still.

My lips moved and pressed just under her jaw as her arms tightened around my neck. My hand now slid down her right arm and curved around her elbow. My hand moved slowly down her arm, across her ribs and over her waist –her breathing stopped entirely as I held her face in my hands angling it up so that my mouth could reach her neck –my lips then moved down the hollow at the base of her neck. She pulled my face down to her and my lips shaped themselves once again around hers as her tongue lightly tracing the shape of my lips.

My head was spinning in desire for her.

The honking of the taxi's horn broke up our embrace. We both giggled like two high school teenagers getting caught by their parents making out. I hugged her tightly and then took her hand dragging her along behind me. I instructed the driver to take Bella home and then me to the nearest hotel. There was no way I was going home now –not while I almost had everything I'd dreamed about having for so long.

###

When we pulled up outside her little green and yellow house she smiled and leaned over pecking me on the lips one more time before running for the front door.

I smiled as I watched her run to the door and then my smile faded. The lights turned on in the house and the yelling started to commence along with the sounds of something smashing.

I ran for the house.

When I got there the front door was opened and I heard Bella cry out, "Stop please."

I let myself in.

To the left was a small little living room, with a large window facing onto the street. One _very_, stained flowered printed sofa sat against a wall directly across from it and there in the middle of the floor was Bella. Eric was standing above her –his shoulders moving up and down while his hands balled in fists at his side.

There was glass and water everywhere. I looked around for a second –taking in the flopping fish before me and realized that he'd broken the fish tank. It was still plugged in and Bella laid in the water only inches from the outlet.

I'd gone undetected so far, until a dark haired girl came running into the room.

"What the fuck? You leave my fuck'n mother alone asshole!" She yelled at Eric and then looked to me. "And who the hell are you?" She asked walking over to her mother.

I stood there in shock as Eric turned to look at me. "You've got some nerve showing your face around here!" He screamed. "Did you fuck her?" He ranted.

I put my hands up. Clearly he was no match for me. _I'd kill him_. I had no idea what the hell Bella ever saw in him, but I wasn't about to fuck up her marriage like I did before. If she wanted me this time… she'd have to leave him.

"Bella was drunk and walking home alone. I offered to share a taxi with her and that's all this was." I lied to him.

He looked at me in shock and ran to her side, "Oh Bella, Baby I'm so sorry… why didn't you just say that?" He sympathetically said to a very unconscious Bella.

"What did you do to my mother –you fucking asshole? Call an ambulance!" The young girl demanded.

I went to Bella's side and checked her pulse… she had one. She was just knocked on conscious. It was only a few more minutes and Bella woke up –with a deadly swing.

"You fucker!" She screamed –pushing me down onto the wet floor. "You… you get your shit and get the fuck out of my house! NOW! Better yet I'll do it for you."

I stood up watching a very wet Bella run upstairs and then I watched as clothes were thrown down the stairs and into the tiny hall below. The young girl shook her head, "would you like some coffee… they'll probably be at it for a while?" she asked.

I nodded and followed her into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry. Please excuse me; I've got to check on my sister Chelsea." I nodded again, well aware of whom she was.

When she returned to me I smiled taking in her "Tasmanian devil pajamas." "You like Tazz do you? He happens to be my favorite as well." I smirked.

She eyed me, "One sugar or two?"

"Black"

"There you go" She placed the mug on the counter and excused herself one more time.

When she returned she wasn't alone –Bella was with her.

"Edward, this is my daughter Renesmee."

I looked at Bella's scared face and then back to Renesmee. "Well hi Renesmee, I'm Edward." I stood to introduce myself.

"So are you going to be my mother's next husband or perhaps her three month fling?"

"REZZ!" Bella scolded as I put my hand back down to my side.

"Well, Jesus mother the least you could do is warn us when a new one is moving in." She spat while she headed toward her room –the slamming of her door notified us that we were alone.

"I'm sorry Edward… I'd hoped that would've gone a little smoother." Bella apologized.

"Don't be sorry, she's feisty like you." I grinned. "We alone?" I looked around the room.

"Yep, he's gone."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well he saw you and the smile on my face and thought… well you know. I told him that I didn't but he didn't believe me… he threw an ashtray at me. It hit the side of my head and then must have hit the fish tank." She explained reaching for the cord.

"No I'll do that." As I pulled the plug I saw the said ashtray. It was huge –one of those 1960's looking ashtrays. "Holy hell Bella, no wonder you got knocked out. Let me see your head."

She shook me off and started to clean up the glass. I bent low to help her when she reminded me that I had a taxi waiting for me outside. I looked out the window not sure what I should do.

"Go Edward. I'll see you tomorrow." She promised.

I nodded and headed for the front door. "Can I use your bathroom?" I asked. It'd been a very long night.

"Sure, it's right down the hall." She pointed me north. I smiled and headed that way.

After I was finished I saw Renesmee holding a crying Chelsea on the stairs –reassuring her that everything was fine. I watched as she kissed her little sister on the forehead and embraced her like a mother –it broke my heart.

Renesmee looked down at me, "Listen, we've been through enough. Just leave now. We don't need you here." She scorned me.

I smiled and walked up the stairs, "Do you mind if I sit down?" I asked.

Renesmee nodded and rolled her eyes just like her mother. This made me happy.

"Renesmee, Chelsea, can I tell you a secret?"

Chelsea sniffled and nodded.

"Well, I happen to be very fond of your mother. I used to date her a _very_ long time ago. I would've married her too… if… well that part doesn't matter. I promise I mean no harm. I would never think of hurting your mother. I only want to share her with the two of you. Do you think that you could share your mom?" I asked

"We've shared her enough for a life time buddy!" Renesmee huffed.

"I understand that. You're so very grown up for your age. You're very observant." My throat suddenly felt dry.

"I'm fifteen –not ten!" She rolled her eyes again and I snickered.

"That's very true. Listen. Give me one month. One month and if you don't like me you can send me packing." I offered.

"Fine, but here are the rules… you're not living here unless I say so. You can't buy our love … just know that we've had that done before and it doesn't work. If you hurt our mother… I'll hurt you… and when I tell you to leave… you leave… understand?"

I nodded and shook her hand, "Deal."

She was acting as though she was protecting her children. It was very clear –Renesmee

was the parent. I was proud in that moment –proud that she was so damn strong, considering what she'd been through. She was tough.

I sat there on the stairs staring at her. She smiled awkwardly back at me while she put her sister to bed. Chelsea's bedroom was at the top of the stairs in an open loft.

Renesmee had my eyes. She looked like Bella, but she had _my_ eyes. She was _mine_ –I just knew it –I _felt_ it.

"Renesmee, how about tomorrow after school I pick you up and we go out for dinner –get to know one another?" I asked.

"Ewe, no that's stalker creepy." She scrunched up her nose.

I chuckled –placing my hand over my mouth, "Please, your mother can come along and Chelsea too?" I grinned as she eyed me and bit down onto her bottom lip nodding –just as her mother would have.

"Great, then I'll see you tomorrow." I stated and headed down the rest of the stairs.

When I reached the bottom Bella was standing there smiling with tears in her eyes.

"Why don't you just stay here… the couch isn't as bad as it seems… you could sleep in my bed… I mean I'll sleep on the couch?" She nervously stuttered.

Grinning I politely told her that I'd already paid for my hotel room. I _hadn't _but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I wanted to start this do over right. I wanted to get to know _my_ daughter and Bella's other daughter. I wanted them to know me and I definitely wanted to make good on my promises to Renesmee.

I kissed Bella goodnight at the front door –opening my eyes to two giggling children on the steps above spying on us. I smiled once more and said goodnight to the children before leaving.

As I got into the taxi I called my father and told him that I was away on a business trip and I was afraid that my flight wouldn't make it on time for me to be back for the board meeting in the morning. I asked him to send James in my place. He agreed without questioning me.

When I finally made it to a hotel I booked my room –practically skipping like a leprechaun on my way to my hotel room. Once I got to my hotel room and lay down on the bed –I crossed my arms over my chest and looked to the ceiling.

I needed to prove that Renesmee was my daughter and the only way to do that was DNA.

How was I going to get Bella and Renesmee to agree to a paternity test without scaring Renesmee –getting her hopes up and without making Bella feel like I questioned her?

I knew that she was mine. I could see it in her. There was no trace of Jacob on her.

I wondered briefly how Bella and Renee were so good at hiding her for so many years and why Bella's life had gone down the toilet when she'd seemed like she was doing so much better when she'd left me.

In all the years that I'd thought of Bella I'd never imagined her to be this broken. I'd always thought she'd get married –meet a nice guy and have some kids, but never did I think she would go down the same destructive path as she had when I'd first met her –I'd thought she'd learned this lesson already?

Maybe it was true –maybe there was such a thing as soul mates?

I wondered what my little girl had been doing –what kind of life she'd lived. I owed so much to Renee. Without her I don't know what would have happened to my little girl.

I was a father. My dreams had come true.

I was scared… scared of what she might think of me… scared that she may hate me and scared of how I would explain to her what had happened.

I was terrified that Bella _wouldn't _be ready for this

I didn't want to waste any more time. I'd missed so much already.

So much to take in and although it was very confusing… I was for the first time in fifteen years… looking forward to tomorrow.

* * *

**Okay so there's so much going on in this chapter. I didn't want to drag out Bella's abusive second husband for very long. He was just a minor bump in the road of where we're going, but it was imperative that I mention him and explain what had taken place while she was married to 'Eric.'**

**So, just get ready because Bella and Edward are not done with Jacob just yet and their relationship is not exactly back on… there is still the issue of Eric to be handled, as well as the return of Emily.**

**I promise we're getting there. **

**I really didn't want to make this chapter into three so I apologize if some of you didn't like the fact that I jumped so many years. **

**Alright so tell me… is Edward a damn fool? What about Eric? Will the DNA prove that Edward is Renesmee father? **

**Until the next chapter… **

**Thanks for reading, sharing and reviewing.**

**April**


	21. Chapter 21 Who's My Daddy

**Chapter 21**

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**Who's My Daddy?**

**A/N: Alright so first and far most… anything at all remotely close to the Twilight Saga belongs to the great Stephanie Meyer's… I stake no claim and no copy right was intended.**

**I must thank Dee for all her hard work and dedication.**

**For my wonderful readers… the patience and kindness that you've shown me; has been amazing and from the bottom of my heart I thank you.**

**Now there are no lemons but this is one hell of a long chapter so you may want to read one point of view per day to break them up.**

**Now with that all being said there are three point of view's Edward, Bella and Rezz's. I felt it important to let the readers know what's going on in her head.**

**Now the lemons are coming back I promise but we must get through some really emotional situations before hand. **

**There are some issues to do with abuse in this chapter as well. I understand that some of you may feel just a little bit uncomfortable with it, but please keep in mind that this story is based on a true story so I want to stay as close to the real life situation as possible. **

**These situations do happen in everyday life and this is one of the reasons I've chosen to write such a graphic story… I want those women who've been through these situations to read my story and know that they're not alone or to read it and say, "Hey that's really realistic to what I went through." I want them to know that they are the bravest of the brave, whether they've found the courage to leave their abusive men/women or have yet to find that bravery. Please understand that I mean no disrespect as I've stated this woman is a family member of mine, which will be revealed at the end of the story. **

**Now that I've written a chapter with my long ass A/N I just also want to say thank you for the birthday wishes. **

**Our son is growing so fast. He's just about five months old. His arm is fully healed now and the doctors say that they do not suspect any nerve damage in the future. YAY! Thanks for all your kind words in our time of need… it was so much appreciated. **

**There is also a mention of "Food bank" in this chapter. Here in Canada it's a place that people donate food for needy families. I'm not sure if that's what they call it around the world. **

**Other than that, I miss my Twitter ladies. I sure enjoyed talking with a few of you today. :)**

**That's it and happy reading. :)**

* * *

**Edward's Point Of View**

By some miraculous miracle I found her. My soul was finally at rest –peace. I would never live in this world wondering its busy streets a shell of a man again. No, I was no longer alone… I had a new family to call my own and I would never give them up as long as I lived.

###

"There are necessary evils. Money is an important thing in terms of representing freedom in our world. And now I have a daughter to think about. It's really the first time I've thought about the future and what it could be." ~ Jonny Depp

Johnny Depp's voice rang true at me. I was using the television as some back ground noise and I just couldn't help but put down the razor and listen to his interview. It was as though he was in my shoes –like he knew exactly what I was thinking –only he said it better.

I sighed when it was all over. I wasn't exactly sure how I could use his words to my benefit. He was a wise man beyond his years and I wished that somehow I could find the words in my short lived vocabulary.

###

As I was standing here waiting on my cab I wondered idly what Bella would think of my asking her to give Renesmee a DNA test? Or how Renesmee would feel when we told her that I was most likely her father and the first and most important question of all… How was I even going to explain it to Rezz –to start the prolonged explanation, when I couldn't even explain it to myself?

It seemed almost dream-like –a fathom of my imagination. I'd always wondered if she could be mine, but thought better of it –and yet here she is. I'd missed so much time in her life, but no matter how much time had passed and how big she'd grown she was my little girl –my sweet baby and I was going to make up for all the time wasted –such a shame.

What I wouldn't give to change a diaper –give her a bottle or rock her to sleep singing a lullaby. To watch her grow into the young teenager she was. Her first A in school –oh how proud I would've been. I felt so cheated –so robbed of what was rightfully mine.

I shook the bitter thoughts from my head in an attempt to think of nothing more than the positive things my life had recently taken on. I had them back and that's all that mattered –I told myself.

###

As I reached her doorway I took a deep breath. How was I going to explain to the children why I was so incredibly early? It was only 6:30 in the morning –surely I could've waited a few more hours? I sat down on the front step thinking I was a complete tool –when the front door opened. I fell back into the house –the door no longer supporting my back. When I opened my eyes I saw a giggling Renesmee,

"I'm so…pff… pff. Sorr..yy." She laughed hard –covering her mouth as she tried to restrain it.

I smiled back at her, "It's quite alright." Her green eyes slowly slopped into little slits, disappearing as she laughed harder still. I smiled at her –nothing that she did contained a piece of me behind her "Bella mask." It was true she looked like her mother, but it was also true that my eyes stood out from her face –piercing even the depths of my soul.

After she finally managed to control herself and I'd managed to get up off of the dingy yellow carpet she asked, "Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure" I ran my hand through my tussled up mane and followed her into their tiny kitchen.

It had one sink, a two cupboard counter space; one small table set for four and alongside the table was a very large outdated fridge. Alongside the fridge was a small two paneled window –below it an ancient looking stove. Just above the table were two shutters –opening the kitchen into the living room area.

I watched as she made her way around the kitchen grabbing a rusted kettle and wiggling the button on the stove to get the element to work.

"Damn thing. Come on!" She screamed at the stove. "I'm sorry. We only have one element that works and it's shorted out. "She sighed. "I guess I'll just have to stop for coffee on the way to school."

"You really shouldn't be drinking coffee at your age." I suggested. Apparently it was a very inappropriate thing to say.

Rezz turned around to scowl at me, "Listen. Edward is it?" I nodded as she went on uninterested, "You don't know me… so don't pretend like you do… and for the record… I've never had a daddy nor have I needed one and I definitely don't … damn… well… need one now!"

I took a step back to allow her room to stomp off down the hall. It would seem that she was taking a temper tantrum to most but I knew better, she was indeed very much damaged –It would take a hell-of-a-lot to make things up to her. She was too old –too mature. She should've been drinking milk and worrying about her studies not… whether her sister up or was she getting ready for school.

Yes, so much had tortured this little girl –my little girl and although she didn't know it yet her life was about to change. As far as I saw it –she'd hit the jackpot –she'd never want for nothing for the rest of her life –neither would her sisters or mother.

When she and Chelsea returned to the living room Rezz was tying Chelsea's hair back into a fancy braid, "Now come on… get your backpack. Don't forget to grab something for show and tell!" Rezz patted her sister gently on the bottom and sent her on her way before returning to me where she'd left me in the kitchen,

"Our mother is still sleeping and we have to go to school. I'm going to go and try to wake her up. If she doesn't… you'll have to leave." She eyed me and I nodded.

To her surprise she didn't have to wake her mother up. Before she'd made it to the stairs Bella was coming down them… showered, dressed and wearing a smile. You could see by the shock in Rezz's eyes that this was a rare commodity around here. I smiled then. Watching the complete and utter shock in her eyes at her mother's soberness –It was breathtaking –It was hard not to shed a tear.

Bella patted Rezz's head and then kissed Chelsea on the forehead before handing them both some lunch money. Rezz scowled at her mother, "This is hardly appropriate. We don't have much money for groceries. I've already made us a lunch. Please don't spend the grocery money again… we can only eat watered down soup for so long." She whispered under her breath, embarrassed and angry as Bella's face turned red.

"Really it's ok Rezz. Things are going to change around here. I prom…"

"Don't… Please don't promise me anything. Just don't spend the damn money. You know I hate going to the food bank." She growled and then grabbed her sisters' hand tugging her out the door for school.

I'd had about enough. What the hell had my daughter –these girls gone through? When the front doors slam rang through the house I turned that anger towards Bella,

"What the hell is going on here? Are they not eating?" I demanded.

"It's really not like that Edward. We just… well to be honest alcohol became a problem for Eric –food was the last thing on the list." She turned for the living room. I grabbed her arm.

"I don't think that Eric was the only one with the drinking problem!" I hollered.

Bella pulled her arm from my grasp, "Listen here Edward. I've been their mommy and Daddy for the most part of fifteen years… ME! So don't start with your righteous shit!" She screamed back at me.

I let her arm go and stared at the woman I'd loved for so many years. It was her; she was in there somewhere –somewhere behind the tough exterior that I'd tried to break down so many years ago.

"It wasn't my choice to not be there!" I screamed and then calmed myself down, "Bella, please… I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Please believe me when I tell you that."

She eyed me for a few moments, "Edward, that's what they all say, but they all leave. You will too. So…" She sighed, "Leave now before it's too late… before we revisit this road again and we both end up hurting one another."

"No! Stop that! I will have none of that. I've come here to start over… a clean slate and that's just what I intend to do." I stated, "First things first… This house needs to be cleaned. I will not have social services taking my family away. Also this family is not complete without Emily so we'll have to figure out how to get her back… and second you need to join a self-help program… get your shit together. If you won't do it for me or your kids then do it for yourself… but just know I'm out of here if you don't and I'm taking those kids with me." I warned.

I would never take Bella's children from her, but she had to know that I was serious when I said I wanted this family. I would've taken them for a short period of time however if that's what it took to smarten her, the hell up I'd do just about anything.

"It's time these girls had a mother –do you agree?" I challenged.

Bella fell to her knees, "Edward, I want nothing more than to be their mother. I just don't know if I can make up for all the shit I've done. Rezz hates me. I don't think she'll ever forgive me." She cried into her hands while I pulled her from the floor.

"You're not a child or an invalided. You lied on your back and bore those children… look after them!" I growled.

I knew that it was a tough lesson for her to learn and I didn't exactly go about it in a nice manner, but Bella never understood nice… so I had to be mean about it for her to get it through her thick skull.

There would never again be a day where I heard soup and water in the same sentence. I would never allow these children to go hungry again.

I reached for the telephone and when I tried to dial out there was no dial tone. I looked to Bella, who shrugged and told me that they didn't pay the bill. I huffed and pulled out my cell.

"Yes. One fridge and one stove… you better add on a washer and dryer as well as a dishwasher please… yes all on my credit card. Yes I'd like them delivered…" I turned to Bella,

"What's your address?"

"9 Church Street West" I couldn't get over that with all of this going on the name of her street was Church. There was no way anything that went on here was remotely close to the Church.

"Alright that will be fine. Thank you." I closed the phone.

"Edward you really shouldn't have"

"Yes I should have. This is my family and I'm going to take proper care of it." I stated.

"Edward, Eric and I have unfinished business."

I spun abruptly around, "What unfinished business do you have with Eric?" I spat.

"Well there's the fact that we're still married and what's half mine is his." She waved around the room full of junk –while she held up her wedding ring like it was something to be proud of.

"Do you want to be with Eric?" I asked.

"Edward, it's really not that simple." She stated.

"Really Bella… it is. Make the decision. Me or him? I won't be second fiddle anymore –I can't." I held my own although I was dying inside.

"Edward, please… I just need to figure things out."

"There's nothing to figure out. I'll have you divorced by noon today –if that's what you want. I'll make sure he gets nothing."

"I think he deserves to get an explanation" She stated.

"Why… I didn't?"

"Ouch, Edward… we didn't have children to deal with." She said.

"I beg to differ. You ran away before we had a chance to deal with Rezz. She's mine Bella and if that Fucking asshole did anything to those kids –to Rezz –I'll kill him myself."

"Okay Edward. Calm down. I just want to be careful… he'll go after the girls and then what?" She was scared of him I could see it written all over her face.

"What is it that you think the judge would favor him rather then you?" I asked.

"Well, for starters he owns his own business." I stopped her right there.

"Bella, one look at whom you're with now and that will change –not to mention his own daughter had him up for molestation charges. There's not a judge in this world that would give that man any kids."

She still seemed restless.

"Don't worry Love, I'll protect you." I stated and she smiled than.

"You've always been my protector –my savor –haven't you Edward? I'm so tired. I just want normal. I can't do this anymore." She waved around the room. I nodded understanding that she'd finally grown tired of her messed up tail and she now wanted something new to bring her some sort of happiness, but she had no idea just how happy I was planning on making her.

"Bella I promise that you will never again shed a tear of sorrow –Or frown over the things that we can control. You will never look forward to another day so that you will forget the night before. No… you will look forward to the sunset because when the sun set's you will know that tomorrow will be just as happy as the day you've just lived through. You will never be happier than you can be with me." I told her the truth, while her eyes welled up and she leaped into my arms.

"Oh… Edward. What the hell am I going to do with you? I've never ever been happy unless I've been with you. I'm tired of running from you. I can't run from you anymore."

"Then don't. We can be together now –the way it was intended to be. Sure we had a few bumps in the road, but we're together now –we can make up for lost time."

"How?" She sniffled.

"Easy we'll just be." I smiled running my hands along her face.

"Don't break my heart Edward." She sobbed.

"Now that I know I still own it –I will be as delicate with it as if it was the last blade of grass on this earth.

"Where do we go from here?" She asked wiping away her tears.

"Well we need to tell Rezz and have a DNA test administrated."

**Bella's Point Of View**

Here I was in the arms of the only man I ever truly loved and he was asking something of me that seemed utterly impossible to give him. I mean I knew that he and Rezz had a right to know if they were related, but how do I explain things to my daughter? What if she wasn't his and she'd gotten her hopes up?

A million and one questions ran through my head and for a split second I cowered away. I was ready to run for it –but I thought better of it. It was time for Edward, Rezz and I to finally know the truth.

Rezz's sweet sixteenth birthday was coming up and it hit me that this would be the perfect gift for her –to finally know her biological father.

"Edward, Rezz's birthday is next week. Should we do it for her birthday?" I asked as he slowly –not to hurt my feelings –removed my arms from around his neck.

"Bella, I really don't think that, that's an appropriate time to be revealing this. If I'm proven not be her father it would ruin her birthday –or even if I'm proven to be her father it might still ruin her birthday." He paused and took my hands into his as he sat down beside me on my stained floral couch, "I think we should talk to her tonight and let her make her own decisions."

I sat there for a moment. I was shocked that he wanted to tell her so soon. I guess I really shouldn't have been –that's how Edward worked –he saw something he wanted and he just took it.

I was scared. To be honest I was more scared than I'd ever been in my whole life. I knew that I wanted to make up for all the pain I'd caused my kids especially Rezz –and revealing her father to her would probably help me with that –but in the end I couldn't help but worry what this may do to my daughter –was she really ready to deal with this?

So many things I had to take into consideration.

Edward said he would make sure I was divorced from Eric by morning, but I was also concerned about Chelsea and Emily. I'd taken Rezz's father and her mother from her for ten years of her life and I watched how it ruined her… could I do the same thing to my other daughters just for the sake of my own happiness? I knew that Eric was a deadbeat father and hell… he was a useless piece of shit of a husband, but he was their father none the less and they loved him. How do I take him from them –break up our family?

It all seemed so selfish and unfair.

I wanted to say all of these things to Edward –to tell him where my head was at, but I was afraid that he would compare the situation to Jake and well it was entirely different. I had kids to consider. I knew that Edward would walk right out the door if I so much as second guessed his pleas. So I kept my concerns to myself. I wasn't ready for most of what was about to happen and I felt like puppet –Edward being the one pulling the strings.

I hated anyone telling me what to do, but I knew that where Edward was concerned, that he only had my best interest at heart.

"Okay Edward, we'll tell Rezz right after school." I agreed, giving his hand a tight little reassuring squeeze.

"Are you sure it's wise for us both to tell her? I mean do you think it would be better coming from you considering I'm a complete stranger to her?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No, I think it needs to come from us both. I also think I need you here with me. I don't think I'll be able to explain it on my own." I pleaded with my eyes and he nodded.

The rest of the day I went about the house, cleaning like a mad woman. Edward watched and kept his distance knowing far too well that this was my therapy. Whenever something was really bothering me the house got an overhaul and boy did it need it.

I watched as Edward spent most of his day on his cell phone placing orders for a new couch, beds and kitchen a table set. He was polite as he answered the door, greeting the delivery men as if he was right at home.

I loved watching the smile on his face. It had changed in the years that I'd been away from him. He now had a few laugh lines, crow's feet around his beautiful green eyes –a slight salt and pepper look to his soft locks –which he still maintained a little longer –just the way I liked it.

Yep Edward Cullen had changed. He was more defined –more distinctive –more a man then the last time I'd seen him. When I'd first met Edward he seemed more aged then he was, but underneath the barrier of that timeless man he was a child at heart and I loved that about him.

Today standing in my living room was a more mature, yet still playful man that I'd fallen in love with oh so many years ago. A time that I never thought I'd get back. A time where I felt the only happiness and heart ache I'd ever known, but underneath it all there was this heartbroken man –a man that would forever be damaged because of the pain I'd caused him.

I stared at him harder wishing that I could take it all back. I'm sure we've all had a moment in our lives that we've wished we could turn back the clock and do something differently.

For myself I know that most of you dear readers would love for me to say that I wished that I never married Jake, but that's not the case. If I wouldn't have married Jake I would've never met Edward and we would've never had the greatest love affair that I've ever come to known.

I started to remember that night on my bar top and a slight pink crossed my cheeks. Edward looked up at me then and smiled –catching me staring at him. I never understood why he never blushed –he was always so cool and light hearted.

When the movers left and I was all done cleaning I couldn't believe it –my house looked like a show room model right out of a catalogue. It was beautiful.

A dark mahogany wood, squared coffee table with matching end tables –that had sunk in glass table tops. Beautiful black glass table lamps sat upon them and in between the coffee tables sat a white leather couch. The dingy carpeting now stuck out like a sore thumb. Edward promised to have them changed to interlocking flooring by next week. I was thrilled. I'd always wanted wooden floors. The kid's beds were gorgeous. Rezz has a black slay bed and Chelsea a brass day bed and even Emily had a pink canopy bed, just waiting for her to return home and sleep in it. The kitchen held a new white fridge and stove along with a dishwasher and a new marble green kitchen table set. I loved it because it reminded me of Edward's beautifully speckled green eyes.

Yes he'd out done himself –like he always did.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks before I had a chance to tell him thank you. He knew though. He smiled looking down at the floor in a shy manner and headed towards me –wrapping me up in his arms once he'd gotten to me.

"I'm glad you like it Love." He whispered in my hair as he held me tighter still.

I looked up at his beautiful face –longing to kiss his luscious mouth. He read my mind like he always does and crashed those lips to mine. I cried the entire time. I was just so happy. Happy to have him here, happy that my daughter would finally know what it was like to have her Daddy and happy because my children would finally have a family and a home that they should've had from the beginning.

"Thank you Edward" I sniffled

"Anytime Love… anytime." He gave me a chaste kiss before we heard the squeal of children behind us.

"Did you win at bingo mom?" Rezz hollered out.

Most people would laugh at her comment but not me, I felt horrible that she would jump to this conclusion, but I couldn't fault her on it –I'd spent our grocery, electric and water bill money all at bingo from time to time –hoping to win money back to pay it all and buy our next month supply of alcohol. The end result was that I'd just blow every last cent we had.

I'm ashamed to even admit this but there were times that we had no money and Eric and I were so dry that we drank rubbing alcohol just to get a buzz. After that catastrophe we decided to start making our own beer –this was even worse. We were not only drinking our profits at the bar but now we were spending what little money we did have on making our own moonshine.

I looked around Edward and smiled at my two daughters, "No, Edward bought us all this nice stuff –say thank you to Mr. Cullen." I smiled as I watched my daughter's Rezz's smile fade.

"No thank you. Please take all your stuff back." Rezz politely –yet rudely remarked.

"What… why would you want Edward to take all this beautiful stuff back Rezz?" I asked.

"Because… he's not buying me off.; he promised that he'd let me make my own decisions about him and now he's trying to buy my love!" She hollered out running to her room.

I waited for the scream but it never came. Edward and I eyed one another and then headed upstairs to Rezz's room, where we found her running her hand along the frame of the slay bed he'd bought for her.

"How did you know that I've always wanted a bed like this?" She asked Edward.

He smiled, "I'm glad you like it and I didn't know that you've wanted a bed like this, it just screamed out you." He chuckled as he waved his hand in the air –like one of the girls.

Rezz turned around with tears in her eyes. "Take it back and please don't buy me anything more… it's too hard to give it back." She stated.

Edward eyed me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I will do no such thing. I bought this for you simply because I want you to get good night's sleep. That mattress you had before must have hurt something horrible with all those springs coming out of it?" He said.

"Still it was mine. I'd worked for it. I didn't do anything to deserve this bed." She sniffled.

"Sure you did. All the hours you looked after your sisters and mother… that's what you did to deserve this bed."

She smiled then, "Thank you Edward." She said and ran to him hugging him around the waist. I watched as tears formed in his eyes and as he pulled her into him tighter.

My breath caught and my eyes watered. It was a moment that I knew the two of us would cherish forever. This was what we'd dreamed of for so long. It was the most beautiful scene I think I've ever witnessed in all my life.

Chelsea came into the room then and practically jumped into Edward's arms. She was clawing at his leg for him to pick her up. He laughed then and quite slyly I might add wiped away the tears in his eyes before he picked her up.

"Twanks Ebward." Chelsea cooed while he told her she was very welcome and patted her on the bottom before putting her down.

"Now let's get some food into this house so that we can have a nice dinner." Edward said.

I eyed him for a moment –thinking he was cop-ing out on me and then he said, "After dinner." I nodded and then we pilled the kids in his car. I was pleased to see he still had the same black car. I knew he was in love with that ole' thing.

###

Of course once we got to the grocery store all the kids wanted was junk food and of course Edward allowed them to have every little thing they wanted. They already had him wrapped around their little fingers.

Edward was spending most of his time secretively on his cell phone. He'd stay behind us and at one point we'd lost him. I found myself a little worried about him. He seemed to be really stressed out while he was talking earlier on the phone. I wondered who he was talking with.

When Edward finally caught up with us he said one word, "Office." I understood the amount of work it took to run his father's business –excuse me please –his business. I just wished that he didn't have to worry about us so much, but the truth was I didn't have the right to tell him to go… that we'd be okay. I knew that, that was probably the right thing to do, but I wouldn't last a day without him –I'd go back to the old Bella and I just had to be selfish for the first time in my life and keep him close, but that didn't mean it didn't bother me any less that he was so stressed out.

###

Back at home we unloaded all the groceries Rezz was very eager to help… she even offered to make dinner for everyone. She felt it was the least she could do to pay Edward back. Edward was about to protest, but I told him to let her do it. He'd agreed but insisted that he help her. He was impressed that at fifteen she knew how to make homemade lasagna –garlic bread and a pecan pie for dessert.

When he'd asked her where she learned to do all of this, she simply answered, "Well Edward when one is left to fend for ones self, one becomes a fast learner." He was both impressed with her rather large vocabulary and her cooking abilities, but he was disappointed in me for forcing her to grow up so quickly.

Who was I to say he was wrong?

I stood there and watched them cook. Watched as my little Chelsea smiled and giggled as Edward placed tomato sauce on the end of his nose –watched as Rezz laughed along with them and smiled in knowing that Rezz was laughing again –this was how it was supposed to be. It was picture perfect and I suddenly felt like for the first time in my life I could have it all.

The phone rang on the wall beside my head –shocking the hell out of me in the process –the phone hadn't rang in over a month so you can understand my reason for being startled. When I answered it, it was Emily on the other end of the receiver.

"Momma,"

"Emily, oh my god baby how are you?" I stuttered out.

"I'm well Momma. Mr. Cullen… Edward… has called me for the past two days begging me to come home. He says that you and Daddy are over… is that true?"

I hesitated for a second and looked up at Edward –He was smiling as he helped place the noodles into the pan.

I cleared my throat, "I think so. Are you okay with that?" I asked.

"Yes Momma, I only stayed here because I didn't want that man to touch me again. I didn't think that you would believe me." She cried and I cried along with her.

I was a terrible mother. I didn't even believe my own child. What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to be shot –better yet that fucker needed to be shot. I had a sudden rage and sadness all at the same time. I was so drunk and out of it that my daughter's own father had sexually abused her and she was too scared to tell me the truth because she didn't think I would believe her.

"Baby," I cried, "He will never touch you again and you will never ever have to worry about him again as long as you live." I swore. "He's history and he'll never come around us again."

I swore that I'd go to the police –after I beat the living shit out of him that was. He touched my baby… I'll fuck'n kill him –someone should kick the shit out of me too.

"I'm so sorry baby" I cried myself into hysterics. Say what you will about me –tell me I'm a horrible mother, I'd be the first to agree with you, but no one touches my kids and gets away with it.

"Can you ever forgive me?" I cried.

"Momma it's not your fault. He did it, not you. I'm not mad at you Momma. I want to come home. Can I come home?" She asked.

"Of course baby," I wiped my eyes, "You can come home anytime."

I wanted to believe that Emily would walk in the door any second, but I knew that, that wasn't the case. There was going to be a court case and a very messy trial, because Emily had become ward of the court since she'd been away –which means her father and I lost our rights to Emily –it was up to the judge to make the decision on what was best for Emily and that included where she was to live.

"Momma, Edward told me that he was talking with Judge Matthews and I can come home as early as next week." She blabbed out excitedly.

I was shocked and smiled at Edward –he smiled back.

"That's great baby, I can't wait to see you."

"Me too Momma, I've got to go they're playing with the paints."

"Okay baby, I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you too… and Momma…"

"Yes baby?"

"I like Edward… he's a keeper." My nine year old stated before hanging up the phone.

I smiled and hung up the phone and agreed with her that Edward was the best.

**Rezz's Point Of View**

I have to admit that Edward rubbed me the wrong way. I hated his nice attire, his nice boy personality and his smarts. Most of the men that my mother brought home were very unintelligent. This Edward was both smart and successful. I couldn't help but wonder what he saw in my mother other than a piece of ass and even still he might slightly be disappointed once he found out how many men she'd slept with.

I know… I know That's a horrible thing to say about my own mother, and let me tell you dear reader that you'd be absolutely right, but if you knew her or had been through what I'd been through with her… you'd understand my distaste for her.

I often felt bad for most of the men she'd played. She only used them to get whatever she could out of them –be it money or food… sometimes even rent. I hated living here with my mother and I wanted to go back and live with my grandmother. On several occasions I'd begged for my Mother to let me go home, but I ended up getting beaten like there was no tomorrow just for bringing it up.

Now before you all go and get sour grapes where my mother is concerned or perhaps you're thinking that I'm a very ungrateful little girl let me explain a few things. First and fore most I love my Mother there is nothing in this world that would ever change that. –Not a beating –starvation or anything else. She is my mom and the only one I get. There are times where I just want to slap her silly and I hate that my friends are going to school dances and I have a baby to look after. I didn't lie on my back and make her but if I don't look after my sister… who will? In the end I can say what I want about my mother, but no one else better dare! I protect her like she'd my own child… and for the most part she really is. We don't have a mother/daughter relationship, but by god I love that woman.

I knew about Eric and his little sexual actions. He'd tried with me on one occasion. Once in the middle of the night I was awoken to him calling out my mother's name –while he lifted my nightgown. I screamed to the high heavens, "I'm not Bella!" I got lucky and woke my mother up out of her drunken state with my screams. She walked in on him and asked him just what the fuck he thought he was doing. His excuse, "I was sleep walking." Sick fuck I know, but she'd believed him and since then he never tried a thing with me.

My sister Emily told me what he'd done to her. She'd peed the bed and he'd spat in her privates. Later he taught her how to play with herself so he could watch her and when I caught him doing this he backed off. He'd never touched Chelsea –I'd never given him a chance to be alone with her. As for his other three girls well they told me he'd raped them. They were terrified of their father and me… Well let's just say after that day I slept with the kitchen butcher knife under my pillow for six years.

###

Now let me get back to Edward. There was just something about this man that I found comforting –yet annoying as hell. He seemed to know what I was thinking or what I might like –like the bed –I still had no idea how he knew he swore that no one told him, but I think mom had to of said something –then again she really didn't know much about me… she doesn't even know my favorite color or food.

Chelsea has really taken a liking to Edward and Emily is coming home because of him. My mother is sober as the sunsets every night and I can't believe the look of this house... again all because of Edward.

I should hate this man who's come in here and has taken control over my life –a life which although I didn't control, I did… if that makes any sense.

To explain that statement I think I'd have to say that for one I didn't have any adult supervision so I made all the decisions –when I went to bed, what I watched on TV and who I talked to on the phone… but then I didn't control my life because I was also locked in a house all day –other than school hours and made to do shit just like fucking Cinderella and that's no joke people. So oddly enough you can understand why "Cinderella" is my favorite fairy tale –I can so relate to it and here I sit waiting for my price charming to come and take me away from my dungeon.

I found that I was starting to resent my mother. She'd made my sisters and her become my burden. I swore that I'd never ever have kids because I'd simply already spent so much time raising someone else's.

Yep, life was shit and then in waltz's this Edward Cullen –who quite frankly thinks he's the bomb. Now please excuse my mouth I happen to get it honestly –from my mother of course. But just who in the fuck did he think he was –he wasn't my father and there was no way in hell he was going to waltz in here and tell me what to do. He could take his shiny new accessories and just hit the road.

Making dinner with him though was nice. We talked and even shared some giggles. He laughed when I said it would finally be nice to bring a boy home without worrying about the dump. My mother was more upset that I'd brought boys home without her knowing. She then took a strip off of me telling me that I better not be having sex and so forth. Edward stopped her and told her that she was ruining a very nice conversation and that there were other ways to deal with my behavior then to put me down.

The icing on the cake was when she called me a slut and I said, "Takes one to know one." This landed me a nice slap across the face. Edward grabbed her wrist as she went to connect a second time and told her that that was enough. The sting hurt but not more than the embarrassment that she caused me in front of Edward. I know I deserved it, but I was a virgin and if she would've just taken a second to ask me I would've told her the truth –whether or not she'd believe me would be an entirely different story.

See I couldn't figure Edward out. I was bouncing back and forth about my feelings towards him. Was he trying to make me like him by buying things and protecting me from my mother or was he really like this? It was so confusing for a soon to be sixteen year old girl.

Now I know that you're waiting for me to say that I dated all those boy's because I had daddy issues or perhaps that I was needing the love from a man, because I didn't get any from my daddy, but to be honest I never missed the asshole, I just sometimes wondered what he was like –did we have anything in common things like that. I dated those boys because I was young and I had nothing better to do. It never went any further then kissing on the couch and maybe a booby grab here and there, we never even dry humped for god sakes.

Now it could be said that I was lonely –this was very true, but I wasn't looking for love –just the opposite –I didn't believe in love. All I needed was a companion –someone to talk to. Girls hated me, but guys seemed to like my overly large breasts –which I have to add I have no idea where the hell I got them. So anyways boys were the easiest to manipulate.

###

After dinner I knew that I had to tell my mother about this man at school. He'd been watching me through the school fence. He was a big man, lots of muscles, dark hair like mine and he just stared at me like he was burning a hole right through me. I went to the principal when he started fallowing me home from school. I was too afraid to tell my mother, but I knew that I needed to tell someone. My principal told me that he'd be informing my mother at around five o'clock which was only thirty minutes away. The scary part was when my principal went to confront this man he told him he was my father. I then told my principal that I didn't know who my father was so he could very well be my father.

At first I was scared and then I was a little curious, but I was cautious none the less. He had dark brown eyes like my mother's so this made me wonder. I'd always thought that my dad would have the same color of eyes as I had… maybe I got them from my grandmother Rene she had green eyes? Who knows?

I became all kids of nervous I wanted to tell my mother as soon as I'd gotten home but then I got all distracted by the new things and then the grocery store. There just didn't seem to be a good time to tell her.

If I was being honest I was sure that my mother would pack me up just as soon as I told her that my father was around and send me back to my grandmothers. So why not tell her then you want to live with your grandmother you say? Well because my sister Chelsea needs me… without me she'd go hungry, never be bathed and she'd miss a whole lot of school. I couldn't leave until I knew for sure that this newly found Bella was here to stay.

It now was no more than ten minutes away from five o'clock when the phone rang. Damn that Edward for paying our phone bill and damn my principal for calling ten minutes early.

Now let me paint you a picture of what I saw in this moment.

My mother was laughing at something Edward had said to Chelsea while she got up from the table –her slice of pecan pie only slightly eaten probably because she didn't want Edward to know how much she liked to eat –she strolled casually toward the phone hanging on the kitchen wall –completely unaware of what was about to be revealed to her. I watched as she said hello in the middle of a laugh and then watched her eyes dart to me in a matter of a second. Her eyes were pained and panicked all at the same time. Her hand clutched the phone as if she was trying to grasp onto her fake reality for just a little longer. And then there it was the, "Run" look in her eyes.

I felt ashamed like I'd done something wrong –like I'd ruined her happy moment. Hell I didn't even want to tell her but my principal thought better. I sat there with my head hung like I'd skipped school or picked on some kid. I was more ashamed than ever and it was merely because I was excited to know the man that helped create me. I had no idea why my mother was so scared. She'd told me that she wasn't even sure who my father was and now it was very apparent on her face that she did in fact know the truth.

This knowledge had me seeing red. How could she keep us apart? What was wrong with her? Why had she lied to me all these years? Did they both not want me? Was I that bad of daughter? I wanted to cry but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of one single tear. No neither one of them deserved my tears.

When my mother hung up the phone she asked Chelsea if she could play in her room for a little while. Chelsea giggled and said, "Oh Rezzy's in twuble."

"No-one's in trouble Chels Mommy and Edward have to talk with Rezz… its okay."

Rezz scooted off and Edward eyed my mother. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why the hell he needed to be there… for god sakes it was none of his business.

"What's going on?" Edward asked.

"Mom, I really don't think it's any of Edward's business." I eyed her and she completely ignored me.

"Edward, Jake has been watching Rezz at her school and following her home. He knows where we live." She looked panicked and so didn't Edward.

"Just wait a minute… Edward knows my father?" I asked watching as they kept eying one another.

"Someone better start talking." I shouted getting up from my chair.

Edward placed his hand onto my shoulder and asked me to sit down. He said that there was something that he and my mother had to tell me. That there had been some sort of mix up from years back.

"The thing is Rezz…" There was a very long pause, "I could be your father." Edward said.

I sat there staring at him. At a quick glance I would've never seen it, but looking now I could see his green eyes –my green eyes, his little nose –my nose, his forehead –my forehead. I stared at this man harder than I'd ever stared at another human being before. It was so surreal… here I was only a few mere hours ago cooking side by side with my dad having the time of my life.

When I didn't respond Edward continued to talk, "You see back when your mother and I dated she was still married to Jacob, the man that was at your school. She had gotten pregnant and although the first ultrasound had proven that you were mine –later on the doctors changed the date and said you were Jakes. Your mother got scared and ran away to protect you because this Jake guy is big trouble. I've been looking for you and your mom ever since."

I was in complete shock, "Why didn't you look harder? Why didn't you have a DNA test done? Why… why… why?" I sobbed.

I wanted to yell at him and tell him that I blamed him for leaving me to fend for myself. I wanted to tell him that he was an asshole for leaving my mother and me. I wanted to tell him that I felt abandoned by them both, but I couldn't –In this moment I was so angry that he'd taken all those hurtful things out of my heart and in turn made it fill with love in knowing that he'd never given up on us.

"Oh Daddy!" I cried launching myself at him. He held me in his arms tighter then I'd ever been held before and cried right along with me. I don't know who cried the hardest Edward or me.

When we were all done he said, "Now we won't know for sure until we have the DNA test done, but no matter what the results say I will always be here for you. I will be whatever you need me to be… a friend or a father…no matter what. I made you a promise and I plan to keep it." He smiled.

I smiled in return and asked when we were having the DNA test done and he asked me if I wanted to have it done in the morning. I jumped up from my chair and said, "Yes… yes… please… I've waited so long to know the truth."

My mother then pried me off of Edward and informed me that if it was proven that Edward was not my father that Jacob was. I nodded in understanding and then she proceeded to tell me that I needed to tell any teacher whenever I saw him around and that she would be notifying the police. I agreed.

That night I couldn't sleep I was so excited. Edward and I sat down and talked about everything. I'd asked him what his favorite colors were, they were blue and green just like mine. I'd asked him what his favorite food was and he told me spaghetti and meat balls –I told him mine was tacos. He told me about all the places he'd been and I was so fascinated –I could've listened to him forever.

When we got to the hard stuff he tensed up a little. I asked him if he had any other children and he said no. I asked about his parents –my grandparents and he was very reluctant to tell me about them. I found this rather odd but I let it go. All he told me was that his father had started the company he now owned –which I figured after he told me that he didn't have any other children, "Cullen and sons" that's why I'd asked about the kids. So then I asked about his brother (obvious to me that he had one by the title of the company… since he had no kids) he told me Jasper played in a band and never really wanted the whole business career –that he was a free spirit like me. I liked that.

###

After tossing and turning most of the night it was now time to go. We speed down the busy streets –it seemed Edward couldn't get there fast enough either. When we'd finally arrived we were escorted straight to Dr. Munch. Edward told us that he paid for his secrecy of the matter considering what had happened years ago.

After the test was administrated we were told that we'd have to wait forty eight hours for the test results. I was bummed out but I knew that it would only be a mere forty eight hours and I would know if Edward was my long lost father.

I was excited beyond words and spent the next two days getting to know my father. I knew he was my father –now more than ever and it wasn't just me trying to see things because I wanted to believe it so badly. I didn't see it before because I wasn't looking for it of course but now that it was brought to my attention my eyes were wide open to the possibility of it.

As much as I looked like my mother I'd spent the last fifteen years –almost sixteen trying to find features that didn't make me look like my mother and here those features were staring me back in the face.

I was beyond thrilled. I'd gone to school and told everyone that my father was THE Edward Anthony Cullen… The owner of Cullen and sons –they were all very impressed as was I.

I'd never been much of a popular kid in school. I'd always had the hand me downs and second hand toys and the very Welfare lunch, that the other kids just didn't want to be seen with a… "Poor kid" but now things were different… My dad was Edward Cullen.

###

Today was the "official" day. I bagged my mother to let me stay home from school. She and Edward of course said no… school was just as important. I was bummed out. All I kept doing was watching the second hand on the clock tick by. It was unbearable, but somehow I managed to get through my day and I raced to Chelsea's school to pick her up and practically dragged her down the street behind me as I yanked her arm in a hurry to get home.

When I made it home I saw that large dark haired man –Jacob, standing at the doorway of my house having a confrontation with Edward and my mother. His presence alone scared me and my once urgent hurry to get home had now faltered. I was now walking slower than a one year old holding onto her mothers' hand.

When Chelsea and I reached the front door of our house Jacob turned around and smiled at me. His eyes held tears as he bent at the knee to address me,

"Hello, Rezz. I'm your Daddy." He bragged.

"It's very true Sir… that you may very well be my father, but Mr. Cullen my also be my father." I declared as Edward gave me a reassuring smile.

Jacob was not impressed with my proud declaration of my knowledge of the situation. I assume that he was planning to bombard me with, "I'm your daddy" hoping that I would giggle and leap into his arms –my long lost father exposed once and for all. What he wasn't planning on was that I knew the truth.

I looked directly in his eyes, "Jake, I'm sure you're a good man as I'm sure you'd be a wonderful father… however I think it only to be fair to wait on the test results before we go making assumptions here." I stated… shocking him as I had Edward, with my rather mature vocabulary.

Jake nodded as my mother reluctantly watched Edward invite Jacob into our home. I watched as Edward's teeth bit hard into his lip –no doubt holding back whatever it was that he wanted to get off his chest… but he was more of an adult than anyone in this room. I was shocked at how Edward could maintain such a cool head after seeing the "enemy" after all these years. I'm sure there was a lot that he'd wanted to say to him, but none the less he stood there watching as Jacob made himself right at home on my mother's new white leather couch.

"So Bella, what happened with Eric? Had an affair on him too I see." Jake chuckled.

Edward walked over to where Jacob sat, "Mr. Black, I suggest you watch your manners, there are children present." Edward's eyes turned almost a dark green in rage –his nostrils flared out in anger.

Jacob nodded as my mother stood there shacking like a leaf.

Edward spoke again, "Jacob we're waiting on our DNA test results to come in. The doctor is going to call us. We're so glad you can join us so we'll all know the truth once and for all." Jacob didn't look at all thrilled with this news. In fact he looked angry and a little scared.

I'd become a good reader of faces in my years of watching my mother's boyfriends come and go. While his eyebrows dipped in anger his wide eyes told me that he feared the outcome… which to me there were only two reasons for his fear –one he really feared that Edward would be my father and not him because he truly wanted to be my dad or two he knew that Edward was my father and he was not. I would bet everything that it was number two.

For two whole hours we all sat around awkwardly staring at one another. Chelsea had been complaining that she was hungry so bad that Edward just called for a pizza –she was the only one who'd eaten.

It was so quite that when the phone had actually rang; we all jumped in our spots. No one got up to get the phone. I stared at the so called adults and then ran for the phone myself. When I answered it, it was the doctor but he wouldn't reveal the results to me. He wanted to talk with my mother or Edward. I argued but he said that I was under age and he could only reveal the results to an adult. I wasn't going to let that stop me from hearing the results at the same time –so I put him on speaker phone,

"Go ahead doctor, my mother and Edward; are right here… you're now on speaker phone and we're very eager to hear the results." I addressed.

"Mr. Cullen?" The doctor questioned.

"Yes…I'm right here Dr. Munch go ahead." Edward choked out.

I watched as my mother's hand entered Edward's. They eyed one another in a reassuring way. Jacob looked directly at the ground while the doctor started,

"When it comes to the child in question named Renesmee the DNA results that were administrated will hold up in a court of law. Does everyone understand this?" He'd asked and everyone answered,

"Yes…"

It was time… the time I'd been waiting for my whole life, "The DNA test results for Renesmee and Edward Cullen show that Edward…. is Renesmee's father."

Edward's hand left my mother's –her eyes letting tears flow down her cheeks –Edward's hand reached out and cradled my head to his chest. I cried harder than I'd ever cried in my life and let his dress shirt muffle my cries of happiness.

In all my life I'd wondered about my father –hated him –loved him even though I didn't know who he was and now I had what I wanted… I had my daddy. My life would forever be different. I felt like now I was complete… like the missing puzzle piece had been discovered.

No one noticed when Jacob up and left, but I didn't miss the muffled distaste in Edward's mumble, "I'll get him don't worry." I was glad that Edward wasn't going to let this Jake get away with what he'd done, but for right now my mother and Chelsea had joined in on our little huddle and soon, when Emily came home I would have the family I'd always dreamed of.

It's strange how things can work out and at a time like this –even through all the heartache that had been bestowed upon me –I was humble and happy. I felt like the luckiest girl alive.

* * *

**I sure hope that the long chapter makes up for the long delay on my updating. You see I only have approximately 2 hours in the morning to write, clean house and sanitize baby bottles lol. I'm now writing before bed but it seems that sleep takes me whether I like it or not. **

**I'm so excited that 50 shades of gray, has done so well… congratulations to our fellow fanfiction writer. See anything can happen on here… it's so amazing… A published story… top 5 best books right now and a movie deal… amazing!**

**Now leave me a review… make my heart pitter patter for a little while… make this tired old momma bear happy as a pig in shit… lmao! Enough bagging… just DO IT! :)**

**Until next time my fanfiction lovers**

**April**


	22. Chapter 22 You and Me

**Chapter 22**

**You and Me**

**A/N: S.M owns all things related to the Twilight saga, I stake no claim.**

**There is a small lemon, nothing too major –not as detailed as you're all used to.**

**I have to once again apologize for the VERY late update. I've been just so busy and it's not getting any better as of late. We just finished my sons baptismal and after party and we're also moving, which if you've had the pleasure with a baby you can understand that it's not that easy. Thank God we have two months to move. I've been packing for about a month here and there, but still. I've also had other things that have occupied my time, but we won't get into that right now. **

**Carter is doing well, he's 7 months old now and his arm is also doing well. We're actually trying the crawling bit right now, which makes it a little difficult, but he's able to support his weight –which is fantastic. **

**At any rate I can not say when the next chapter will be up but I've been working on it for a little while. So thanks to all of you who continue to read, and support and not to mention the awesome patience you've all had with me.**

**Now last but not least to Dee my fantastic beta –you're the best but you know that already! **

**That's it on with it, **

**Happy reading :)**

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

I'd asked Edward a million and one questions and when he promised that he'd still be here come morning, I finally went to bed.

I barley slept that night. I had so many questions swimming around in my head. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.

I stared at my bedroom ceiling, with my hands on my chest smiling like nobody's business. I knew that my life was about to change and I welcomed that change with open arms.

"_Finally" _I thought.

I'd always dreamed that my father would come back into my life, but I never dreamed that he would be 'The Edward Cullen.' Just to have my dad back meant more to me than anything, but him being Edward Cullen… well I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of the doors that would open for my family and myself, but all the same –It was all way too much to take in.

The possibility of me going to a College or University now entered my mind for the first time. I'd always planned on just finishing High school because I knew that my mother couldn't afford sending me to College… it just wasn't in the cards for me… but now it was… now I could potentially go to College.

I was just too excited to sleep and when my eyes started to burn because of sleep depuration I decided to go and get a nice warm glass of milk. When I'd arrived in the hall heading towards the kitchen I overheard Edward and my mom talking,

"Edward, she so young… I know she seems okay with everything, but do you think that it will hit her hard… I mean I know that she acts like and adult, but she's not and… well I worry that she hasn't had the time to absorb the situation." My mom whispered up from Edward's lap while he smiled down at her and played with her hair,

"Bella, Rezz is going to be just fine. She's just as curious about me as I am about her. I know that I'm a little bit nervous as I'm sure she is, but she's strong and we're all going to get through this."

I couldn't help but stare. I'd never seen my mother look so… so… young. She'd never shown her affection for another man in the way she was doing now with Edward. She was a different person… like time had stood still from when they'd first met. I loved this Bella… I loved to see my mother this way… I'd never seen it before.

I watched as Edward brushed her cheek ever so gently with his thumb –as he tilted her chin up and as his mouth swept across hers.

I knew that I was now interrupting a very private moment and so I decided that I'd pass on the milk and headed back to bed giving my parents their privacy –my parents what a foreign phrase that was to me –parents.

When I got back to my room I covered my mouth in an attempt to stifle my giggle –I didn't want them to know I'd seen them declare their love for one another. I ran to my bed and flopped myself down onto it –sighing in contentment and finally sleep took over.

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When I woke the next morning I was awoken to the smell of bacon and eggs. It had been so long since I was awoken by such aromas… normally it was the other way around. I rushed to the shower –rushed to get dressed –the whole time with saliva running out of the corners of my mouth.

Reaching the kitchen I was taken back… I'd thought Edward was cooking and it was my mom. She smiled at me, "Good morning Rezz." "Good morning." I replied. I was surprised that Chelsea had already been bathed, feed and she was playing on the living room floor with her dolls. Edward wasn't there either like he'd promised me and suddenly no matter what nice scenery I'd woken up to… nothing mattered… It was all ruined without him here… he'd broken his promise.

I sighed slumping in my chair and picked at my eggs. I don't know why I was so sure he wouldn't hurt me… everyone else did. I was scolding myself internally for being so soft when I heard Edward's whistle coming down the hall.

When he entered the kitchen my face lit up and I'm sure he saw it because he smiled just as big back to me –before kissing my mother on the cheek and helping himself to some breakfast.

Edward sat down beside me at the table and I watched as he placed a napkin across his lap… I did the same… as he kept his elbows off the table and chewed with his mouth closed… he asked me, "Could you please pass the pepper" and as he placed his coffee cup back onto the saucer gently after every sip. I mimicked everything he did, which I didn't go on without being detected,

"My I ask you something?" Edward addressed me –I nodded, "Why are you watching me so closely this morning?" He asked.

I was turning bright red I'm sure… I was so embarrassed but I answered him, "I've never seen someone eat the way you do. You're so proper and well I just wanted to see what it was like to have proper table manners." I said.

Edward chuckled slightly and said, "Well for starters I have the napkin laid across my lap so that I don't spill anything on my clothes." I smiled and leaned in as he explained all the reasons he'd done these bizarre things.

Edward Cullen fascinated me. I was probably like every other little girl out there who'd gotten to meet their daddy for the first time. I was curious if we had anything in common. I studied him until it was time for me to leave for school.

I was disappointed leaving the house because I hadn't seen anything that we'd had in common so far and I was determined to find something before school. Edward caught my sour mood and had asked me what was wrong. I told him feeling rather stupid, but again he smiled that charming crooked smiled of his and said, "Sure we do… we both like to fix your mother." I smiled then because he was absolutely right.

The news of my long lost father spread throughout school like wild flowers. Suddenly I was the most popular kid in school. When I'd told a few kids –well bragged about it, I never expected it to get as out of hand as it had. I was still the same person as before. I still wore the same stained and torn clothing. I still had the long tangled up hair that they'd all teased me about and most important I was still just simply me.

I was taken aback by my instant stardom and most girls would love the attention, but I on the other had was not an attention grabber –in fact I was a little shy and kept to myself most days –so you can imagine how out of sorts I felt today.

As the day progressed my popularity just became a hell of a lot worse. I had no idea what the hell was going on but I felt sick to my stomach. Walking down the hall to my next class I walked by Alec and suddenly became week in the knees when he stopped to say hello.

Alec was the most popular boy in school. He had light blond hair –the most cutest of cheeks… just like a little chipmunk and dark brown eyes. Every girl from the ninth grade to grade twelve wanted to go out with him and of course I was no exception. The only difference with me and the other girls was that I liked him ever since I was in grade five and he was in grade six however I wasn't even on his radar.

Today Alec noticed me and said hi. I felt like a blabbering fool going on about nonsense, "Hhhh…. I mean hi… hello…how's it going?" I stuttered –leaning my left elbow onto my locker –missing and forcing my head to hit the door instead. My lifelong best friend Jane smacked me really hard on the shoulder and this knocked me out of whatever state I was in,

"Hello, Alec." I managed to spit out.

I would do just about anything to go out with him.

"Hi Rezz, I heard that you just met your dad for the first time." He'd started and already I had a gut wrenching taste of puke in my mouth.

I nodded.

"Is it true that your father is 'Edward Cullen'?" He asked with a larger than life smile.

Again I nodded –unable to speak.

"That's awesome. I've always wanted to meet him. Do you think I could come over to your place tonight and you could introduce us?" He asked.

I just stood there frozen… in shock. You see I just couldn't understand the nerve of this asshole –yes I said asshole. He was no longer a dream boat in my book. I shook my head and chuckled slamming my locker closed, held my books to my chest and then began walking away,

"Wait so will you?" He hollered back at me.

I never said a word I just stared at him rolled my eyes all while I continued to walk toward my next class. I was stunned that people could be this… this… superficial.

"Rezz, what the hell?" Jane squealed as we entered hospitality class.

I sat down and opened my books before I shrugged, "The hottest guy in school talks to you for the first time and you shrug it off like it's no big deal and do I even have to mention that you've been in love with him ever since the fifth grade?" Jane babbled on.

I couldn't answer her because a part of me felt sick that I had indeed done what Jane was accusing me of, but the other part of me –the part that told me the guy was an asshole for just using me screamed at me that it was the right thing to do –go me –so why the hell did I want to run down the hall screaming "yes, yes Alec I'll introduce you to my extremely wealthy father?" Instead I let my head fall and my forehead smack off the top of my desk. I was a moron.

When the school day was finally over I slumped to my bus to wait in line with the others –waving at my new –nonexistent friends when I heard an engine rev. I paid it no mind until it continued to rev and people started to get excited. When I finally spotted the black Harley Davidson I stared at the beautiful machine in awe like everyone else.

The man took his black helmet off and I realized that it was my dad… it was Edward.

I nearly fell right where I stood when I watched him put the kick stand up and place the helmet under his left arm –walking towards me with the largest smile on his face.

"Hey, Rezz. I was wondering if you'd like to ride home with me. It was such a nice day that I thought I'd take a drive?"

I stood there staring at my dad and all the other kids that were forming a semi-circle and closing in on us fast.

"So would you care to join me?" Edward asked again.

To be honest although I loved the look of the bike and the idea of how cool I would look on it, I was scared shitless to get on it.

I leaned in and whispered, "What if I fall off trying to get on it?" I looked around at all the kids circling the Harley now. Edward looked back at the bike and realized that I didn't want to make a total ass out of myself –smiled and nodded before leaning in himself to whisper, "Don't worry Rezz I won't ever let you fall."

I starred at this man –a man that I've only known for a few days and placed my hand into his as he towed us toward his deathtrap of a machine. I trusted him more than I've trusted anyone in my whole life.

As we reached the Harley the kids asked Edward a few questions and when he was done answering them he put a little black helmet on my head and tied the strings under my chin –tucking my hair behind my ears and handed me a pair of sunglasses.

I watched him closely –he took his right foot and placed it on the gray spoke throwing his left leg over –kicking the kick stand up and place both feet firmly back on the ground and then politely asked my entire student body to step back a little –turned on the bike –revved the bike and reached out for my hand.

It looked as though you got on it like a horse. I'd taken horseback riding classes as a trade off from cleaning out the stalls. I never made any money but it was all worth it in the end and today of all days it would seem it was truly well worth it.

I swung my leg over the side like a pro and sat down on the "bitch seat" as I'd heard it once addressed before –and then wrapped my arms around my daddy's waist and when we speed off the crowd erupted into cheers.

Once those cheers were long gone and my shaking arms had settled I managed to lift my head up from Edward's back to take a look. At first the wind on my face annoyed me –it was like sandpaper, and when a bug hit my face it was like being pelted with a little stone, but the speed –the power –the adrenaline ran through my veins and I knew that I was forever hooked on power.

I'd never felt such freedom in all my life –such control, yet no control at all. It felt as though I was cheating death and I never wanted to get off the bike.

Edward and I drove far out of town. He taught me that when he leaned to turn right I was to lean with him and to do the same when turning left. To sit up straight when he came to a stop – to lean forward when we were going faster and most important to keep my legs off of the exhaust pipe.

When we stopped at some mall and I got off before Edward did I was shocked on how sore my legs and buttocks were –it really was like riding a horse.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"We're in Seattle. I have some business to attend to today and I thought that after shopping you might like to join me. Meet some of my co-workers and see what I do."

I smiled, "I would love to see what you do."

When we entered into the mall, Edward swore that I NEEDED a leather jacket and boots that went over my ankles to help prevent them from getting burned while I was on the bike. I told him no but it was useless at this point in time to argue with him. After purchasing my new leather ensemble we headed to the middle of the mall where there were all kinds of sunglasses and I was told I HAD to get a pair that fit me perfectly to avoid wind in my eyes.

I was sure that this was a setup of some kind.

Once my ridding attire was finally settled he took me into a very nice upper class ladies department store. Here I was told to get whatever I needed –to go crazy and to have fun. I looked at Edward like he was from Mars. I'd never been shopping before and I wasn't even sure where to begin. I'd only always just gotten things from teachers or friends and family. I'd never actually bought one article of clothing.

Edward looked at my wary stance and took me towards the larger sized sales lady behind the counter.

"Excuse me Miss my daughter needs your assistance." The redheaded, round woman waved him off –too focused on her boyfriend on the telephone –pointed at a skinny brunette with thick black rimmed glasses, who was currently pricing articles of clothing and really seemed like the only one in the department store doing any kind of work and then she went back to her phone call.

Edward's growl didn't go undetected. The red head looked up from her phone and realized who she'd pissed off and then slammed down the phone without so much as a goodbye, "I'm sorry Mr. Cullen Sir. Anything you need I'll be happy to assist you." She smiled.

Edward shook his head back and forth putting our combined hands up in the air, "that won't be necessary I'm sure this young lady will be glad to help my daughter." The young looking brunette's eyes looked shocked as she pushed her glasses back up her nose.

I won't bore you with the details of my supposed "fun" shopping, however I'd never been fitted for anything in my life –everything I owned was either stained, holy or hung off of me.

You would think that me never been shopping that I would've loved this opportunity, but really it was just overwhelming for me. I felt like I'd entered another country and I didn't know the language, but a part of me knew that I would grow to love our little father/daughter outings.

**Bella's point of view**

It had been a long week –long day and too many years for me to finally know the truth. I was thrilled… no relived… no flabbergasted, that Edward was Rezz's father. I'd dreamed of this day for so many years, but I was too damn afraid to do anything about it –too afraid that he wouldn't be her dad. I don't know what I did to deserve the blessings that God had dwelled upon me in this very moment, but I would be forever grateful of his gift.

With the day finally coming to an end Edward and I found ourselves alone again for the first time. It was nice, yet I felt a little giddy with nerves. He was standing in the doorway of my living room staring at me with a smile that reached his eyes.

Without one single word Edward made his way towards me and held me close before sitting on the couch and patting his lap for me to lie upon it. I smiled and lay down while his fingers stroked my hair. I told him my concerns about Rezz –said that I was afraid about how she was feeling –that she acts so much like an adult that I didn't think we considered the fact that she was just a baby. He was so calming when he told me he was certain that she would be fine, that she was just as curious about him as he was her.

He wore this gleam on his face that I'd never seen on him before. He was different –he was happy –just as I was and he couldn't hide how he felt even if he tried.

I leaned up and looked deep into his eyes. He smiled, "What?"

"Nothing, you're just different." I said.

"Different how?" he'd asked. I just shrugged and said, "You're just different." He chuckled playfully and pulled me into his chest.

I loved being here. Hearing the thump of his heart against my ear –it was soothing and peaceful. I felt like I'd come home. How strange of a rationalization of how I felt, but it didn't change the fact that I was home in his arms.

Our snuggle soon became a little more heated. Turning into each other our lips, our hands, the thrill that leapfrogged over our nerves soon turned into a deep and sultry kiss. My breath came quick as he laid me back against the cold leather of my new couch. I had a moment where I wished that I thought to take off my shoes and to have worn sexier undergarments.

There was so much heat and movement. His mouth on my neck, his hands on my breasts –first over my shirt and then under it –I'd been here before –been in his grasp –his sexual hunger, but I'd never been as self-conscious as I was right now.

It had been so long since I'd REALLY been into sex. It was always just a chore that I had to do as a wife. I've never had a man touch me the way Edward had touched me.

His skin was so warm, so smooth, his body so brawny yet soft that it brought on a flood of tenderness. I'd imagined this… the rising excitement, the passion, the sensations of my skin sliding along Edwards for so many years –even when I'd had sex with my husband –it made it bearable.

As Edward eased into me the sounds of desire pushed out of me. It was instant and uncontrollably non obedient –which were followed by gasps, moans and hums of pleasure.

Edward's eyes were so vivid and green, his hair so silky and still whisked untamed over his forehead. I just loved the way he kissed me –the way his lips molded perfectly to mine. I simply wished he would kiss me forever.

Edward stopped his heart hammering against my own, "are you okay?" he asked searching my face, "I've never been finer than I am right now I breathed. He smiled pressing his tender lips to the side of my throat.

I took his hand and brought it back to my breast –his touch bringing with it a shudder that ran right through my body.

This was new –yet familiar. Edward and I had always been more forceful… more needier with one another, but now we were making love –it was so much more tender and more meaningful. I felt every single touch that he placed upon my body –every gentle kiss that held more meaning behind it than all the others. This time he was showing me just how much he'd missed me –how much he loved me and I was masking in it.

This was beyond what I'd known before, or felt before, or understood. The body was a miracle and mine was quickening with heat and aches. I clutched at him, too tired find my balance.

He called out my name and I felt him shudder too. Then his mouth was on my breast, all wet and hot, pulling racking sensations up from my belly. I reached for him and he was so hard. Missing his girth I explored having him suck back a breath between his teeth.

Everything in me was quivering a feeling that I hadn't felt in a very long time. I was ready. Edward thrust in and out steady and slowly –helping me build more of the spring that threatened to burst and leak all down his shaft.

He groaned as his cock became harder –the tip filling to its full potential and at long last that coil was released and I cried out his name as he quickened his pace. After a few minutes he was groaning and calling out in a rhythmic tone.

His body collapsed against mine in exhaustion –full of sweat, while he tried to slow his breathing.

I hadn't felt so incredibly happy in such a very long time. It was like returning home again after a few years. Everything is familiar –yet somehow different. It's like looking from the outside in –or perhaps it was like when you realize that you are no longer a child –that you're finally an adult.

I'm not too sure how to explain our reunion, but I was certain that I would never be this happy without him and I was glad that he was back in my life –in Rezz's –my girls and our life could finally begin the way it should've so many years ago.

**Edward's Point of View**

Things were relatively perfect all but one thing… Emily. I'd all but bribed the Judge to let her out of the wards custody and into her mother's. The court didn't see Bella as I did. It helped of course that I was now a part of Bella's life –my presence alone made her shine brighter, but it seemed it wasn't enough.

My lawyer had pulled out all the stops and we were still told it was nearly impossible. I told that little girl, that home and her family that she would be home within the week and I was going to make good on my promise. I was Edward Cullen –I could pull fairies out of my ass –or so I'm told.

The problem was this was real life, not something in some fairytale. I was dealing with a little girl who had many disorders as well as she would need some therapy when she got out.

I wasn't the type of guy to pretend like all she needed was the love of her family and she would be just fine –no I knew far too well that it was her family that messed her up and it would take a lot more than just her family to pull her out of this mess –insert me here. I was this little girl's only hope and her families only hope on reuniting them. That alone can wear a person down.

I was always Bella's safe rock –her go to man, but I wasn't sure that I could deliver on my promise. I knew that I'd chewed off much more than I could chew.

In the end I was an asshole for allowing them to think Emily was coming home. I'd told them that she was and that everything was taking care of, but in truth not one god damn thing in this situation had turned out in my favor.

What the hell was I going to do?

Emily and I had talked secretively and she understood the situation, but I knew that I couldn't tell Bella I just had to find some way… there had to be a way right? Well there wasn't and I was at my wits end so I did the last thing I could think of… I called my father.

My father was surprised that I was in contact with Bella again, but he wasn't surprised that I was trying to help her and her daughters out.

"Always knows how to get to you… always knows just what to say to get what she wants from you," he'd said.

I never told him about Rezz. I'm not sure why –perhaps his ill feelings towards Bella told me not to, but whatever the reason may be I kept that little detail to myself for now.

At the end of our conversation he told me that he would try anything he could to help me, but that his actions were not to help Bella. He went on to tell me that Emily was probably better off without her mother.

I know that I should've stuck up for Bella here –come to her defense, but really what would that have proven? It would've only taken him longer to get off the phone and do what I needed him to do, not to mention that a heated debate might have changed his mind on helping me altogether, so sadly I just said nothing as he went on and on and on.

I had to listen to him talk about repeating the same mistakes and why couldn't I just let her go… "I know, you love her," blah blah… "Always have always will"… blah..blah." He'd spat. "Mark my words Edward. She will use you until there is nothing more to use. Toss you aside and move on. I will not be there to pick up the pieces this time."

"I understand Dad." I'd said as he huffed and hung up the phone. I was so red with anger that my ears were probably scorching scarlet. I'd never in my life been able to hold my tongue but I had to. If there was one person who could help me it was my father.

The day went on and I felt like there was no hope at all. I needed to tell Bella the truth. I was sure she'd be mad. The old Bella would've thrown my ass out, but maybe the new Bella would understand that sometimes things just don't work out.

I couldn't help but think about what my father had said. Would Bella just use me until she'd gotten her daughter back, her home furnished, her debt paid? I truly didn't think so, but damn my father for putting that sort of doubt in my head.

As I sat down at the kitchen table ready to eat my dinner, my daughter asked me more questions about myself. I thought it to be such a lovely gesture that she wanted to find out if we had anything in common. I truly didn't think that we did, but that's what made her special and unique to me. There was so much to learn about each other. Couldn't she see that because we were different that we would spend more years getting to know what we liked and disliked, that we could experience new things with each other?

"Rezz how was school today?" I asked as she smiled still in awe of my Harley I was sure.

"It was school" She'd said blindly playing with her food.

"Surly there was something exciting that happened." I smiled edging on our conversation, but she seemed stifled just a little.

I pushed my plate aside, "What's gotten you so upset?" I asked.

"It's really silly. I'm dealing with it… don't worry." She all but whispered.

If I knew anything about teenagers it was a bunch of baloney when they said its okay…. There was definitely something wrong, "You can tell me you know." I smiled.

"Really I can't it's something I have to talk to mom about." She got all red faced.

Instinctively I was worried. Was she having sex? Had she stolen something? Got kicked out of school? Boy trouble –I'd kill him? What the hell could it be?" I was a blubbering mess of nerves when Bella arrived back at the kitchen table.

"Well, what the hell is going on?" I asked.

"Just one second," she smiled reaching for the phone and dialed, "Hi mother, yes… listen Rezz's monkey has a nose bleed. That's right… ah ha okay well I'll talk with you later."

I looked at Bella dumbfounded. What the hell was she talking about? I looked to Rezz's red, shameful and angry face. "What is going on?" I whispered to Bella.

Why our daughter's monkey has a nose bleed. Her aunt flow is visiting finally Edward."

I still looked at her confused.

Bella laughed at me then, "She's gotten her period."

"Oh… well… I really don't think that those are the proper words to use. Perhaps that Rezz is now a young lady or that she has finally blossomed into a woman?" I scolded Bella while I watched Rezz's face light up.

Truly Bella was not as trailer trash as she played. I was sure she had some sort of manners in there at least I'd seen them some time ago.

After running down to the local market and the sales lady helping me I managed to get three different kinds of pads for Rezz. One had wings, one was thin and one was extra absorbent. I wasn't sure what she'd like or what would be comfortable and then it hit me… why the hell was I doing this and why wasn't her mother doing it for her? Then I calmed down and realized that I was doing it because I loved her and I wanted her happy. Her mother was at home explaining why women get their periods something I was grateful that Bella had as a task and not I.

When I got back home Bella was giving Rezz some Tylenol for her cramps. She took the bag from me smiling and thanked me. After what felt like hours they both emerged from the bathroom –Rezz running straight for her room.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"Yes, she's just a little upset because it happened so late compared to all the other girls. She just feels a little embarrassed it all."

"Good."

"It's funny how quick it happens."

"What happens?" I smiled as Bella cuddled into me on the couch,

"Worry." She replied.

"Does it ever go away?" I asked.

"No never."

I knew that I had to tell Bella the truth, but I was still holding out hope that my father would make good on his promise, or at the very least he'd be able to talk some sense into the judge on my behalf.

So for tonight I would keep it to myself. I would give my father twenty four hours to play his role.

My father… Rezz's grandfather. I had to tell my parents sometime. I had to quit pretending like I was living this life with Bella and the girls and that nothing else matter but them. I knew that my fairytale would have to be shared and I was concerned with how they'd react to the news.

My father would surely come around. He'd loved Bella all those years ago, he'd learn to love her again… right?

Bella had interrupted my thoughts laughing about how her daughter thought one pad would last the whole week and how she was too afraid to tell me on our shopping spree. How she felt like a horrible mother because her daughter thought at first that her period would be here forever. Bella went on about how she wished her daughters transition into woman hood would've went a little smoother and because of her lack of parenting Rezz was scared thinking she'd cut herself.

Bella told me about their little discussion in the bathroom and how Rezz first put the pad upside down, and how she said she felt like she was wearing a diaper.

I listened to everything. It was strange how proud I felt. Maybe it was sick to think that I'd missed out on all her first's that I was happy I was here for at least one.

In that realization I knew that I would never miss a first again, her first date, boyfriend, broken heart, first trip and her wedding day of course.

It was also strange to think that yesterday I had met my little girl for the first time and today I spent time with my daughter "the woman." Soon she'd fall in love, get married and have her own kids. Although I felt cheated out of some much time I knew that there was so much more to look forward to.

**So that's it –please kindly leave me your thoughts it's much appreciated. **

**Thanks again for reading and reviewing.**

**Much Love April**


	23. Chapter 23 Eternally rubbish

**Chapter 23**

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**Eternally rubbish**

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**A/N: OMG I feel like I haven't update in a year! There is no way I can tell you everything that my little family has been going through so I'll just let you know that finally! The doctors have told us that there is no more need to worry about Carter. We can finally breathe! We're coming up to his first birthday already! **

**So exciting.**

**Of course SM owns everything remotely close to the Twilight franchise. I stake no claim. I just play with her awesome characters.**

**Beta: Dee**

**There is no lemon and I don't think there will be one from here on out. Things are about to come to an end. 3 more chapters and then that's a rap. I'm still working on a video for MP and I've been playing around with a new story. The chapters for the new story will be shorter to help me get them out more often. **

**Thank you to all of you who continue to support my crazy mind and of course to all of my lovely twitter maniacs who continue to give me FF love. **

**You're emails are inspiring and I'm grateful that I've given this whole fanfic a chance. I've met so many great people all around the world and I love each one of you!**

**That's it. **

**Happy reading.**

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**Renesmee's Point Of View**

Things haven't changed at our house… well the décor has changed and the fact that we don't have the Repo men knocking down our door… but however sad it is to hear people my life is still basically messed up.

Edward –AKA my Dad works late and _**very**_long hours so you can probably guess what's happened –that's right moms went back to her old ways. Every night she's at the bar until the wee hours of the morning –knowing what time Edward's heavy tired feet slum upstairs to bed.

I have to give it to her though she is certainly a pro at what she does. I mean come on. I have no damn idea how she gets all these men to do her bidding.

Edward –well he seemed like a relatively smart man –knew all about my mother and her conniving ways, but yet he loves her and stands faithfully by her.

A part of me feels sorry for him and I want to tell him the truth about my mother's mischievous ways, but than the other part is scared to tell him. I mean don't get me wrong I know… god I know that he deserves to know what's going on while he's at work, but I'm scared that my newly found father will leave me in this hell hole.

He –Edward has made my life worth living again. Its strange how in the past year one presence alone could give me so much hope, but Edward has successfully succeeded in making me feel like I can accomplish whatever I want –that I and only I make the decisions for my future.

Do I think Edward is a complete fool? Of course not, I just happen to think that my mother is good at what she does.

To some it may sound like Bella will never grow-up and perhaps they're right and I wouldn't be the one to argue that fact, however my mom… well she's learned how to survive and as much as I would like to look the other way and say "Hey my mom has changed" there is no way that I can do that without a guilty conscience.

Mom has been hurt by so many and I believe that this is where most of her issues lie, however that is not an excuse for the way she treats us –her children or her men. I just think that she truly believes that she's ugly both inside and out and that's just not the case.

I've watched my mother nurse a broken winged pigeon back to health, take in stray cats and her single mother friends who had no place to go. The issue is that she doesn't know how to treat her own children and you know what… I'm learning to accept the things I cannot change. One day I'll be grown and I'll be out of this hell hole and when that day comes I'll never look back.

I'm constantly defending my mother and then going back on what I've said about her, agreeing with the majority that she is a bad mother and person. I'm not sure why I do that. I mean I love my mother and I can be very defensive of her… as though she's my own daughter… but how can I argue with someone when they call her a slut or a home wreaker? She is of course all of these things.

Why the hell am I even thinking about these things? I mean I've got enough to worry about with my finals coming up, not to mention the fact that I've got to decide on which Collage I'd like to apply to. My father told me to apply early, but I argued that a whole year early was too early, but he won that argument of course and here I am now all worried about being accepted a whole year earlier. Damn.

"Rezz!" Bellows out Angela

"Angela," I great ducking the fist full of papers that she's waving around in my face. Her red curly –frizzed out hair momentarily distracts me from her colorful usable –fluorescent yellow knee high leggings, bright pink Barbie doll looking heals and her bright blue over the shoulder sweater dress –that she so neatly facets with a white sixties looking waist belt… Over the top you ask… why yes she is… this is the incredibly overbearing Angela.

"Rezz, you've yet to fill out this year's ballet on the homecoming king," She hollers.

I roll my eyes as she pushes her dark "nerdy" looking glasses back up her nose. I have no idea what the big deal is… we all know who's going to be prom king… Jesus.

"Ang," I begin and she knows by the sound of my voice that I'm not interested, but does she give up…? Hell no,

"Now, Rezz as student body president you know that I have a responsibility to uphold." She huffs.

"But I…" I start,

"But I nothing" insert foot stomping Ang and off she goes… "Do you have any idea how important voting is. How hard we women fought to have our rights and now you're just going to throw that away!" She growls… damn she's over the top.

"Ok" I throw my hands up in the air and cross a little X in the box beside Alec's name. "There you go. Happy?"

"Very" She smiles and turns to torture the next none voter.

Ah could this day get any worse? And suddenly I have a gut instinct that it can. Here in my perpetual vision I see Alec heading in my direction.

"Hey Rezz, How's it going?" He leans into my locker –smoldering eyes casting down at me and suddenly I feel very uncomfortable in my designer navy blue sleeveless dress.

"I'm fine thank you" I brush down my hair with my hands –straighten out the thin black belt at my waist and reach for my books –trying not to give him the attention he so desperately is looking for.

"So I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to prom." I look up at him in disbelief.

"Are you joking?" He smiles but I'm sure there's an underlining there somewhere. I have to compose myself… don't let him get to me.

"No, I'm quite sure that I'd like you to join me." He smiles again… oh his beautiful brown eyes… no I must be smart.

"I'm not a senior and so I won't be attending Prom until next year." I boldly state matter of fact and head down the hall towards my class.

_**Is he chasing after me? Oh god he is! The whole school is watching me… fuck!**_

"Well I am aware of that minor detail, however fortunately for you I happen to be a senior and I'm asking you to go with me." He gently holds my wrists –stopping me, smiling and then takes my books. I know that I'm blushing, but damn he's hot.

I swallow hard, look him in the eye, take my books back and politely whisper out, "No." I turn and head for my classroom smiling at the student body's shocked faces and the prom kings too of course.

I know what you're all thinking of me… why? Crazy girl? But I know his type… I'm a good judge of character and even though he's hot… he's an asshole deep down. He never even knew I excited until I got a complete makeover and oh yeah my daddy became a part of my life. All Alec wanted was to get into my father's company.

Jane of course yelled and screamed telling me how much of a fool I've been where Alec is concerned. He'd done just about everything to get me to go out with him and now it seemed he was going to do the same thing with prom.

Jane is my best friend and she's an awesome friend however she only sees his hotness and that's about it.

Classes distract me from what's going on at home. It's crazy how well my grades are doing. Most kids having to go through what I go through can't do their studies, but I find it a way to escape my reality for a while… it's the very reason I happen to love reading so much… I can just drift away and nothing can touch me.

Edward had asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and I wasn't sure what I wanted. I love to paint and I'm great at computers –logically the best decision is to go into graphic design, but then I can't claim it as my own work because I'm creating for someone's business and they use my work as their logo and then it's not mine anymore… doesn't seem personal to me. Unfortunately I've gotten a scholarship for graphic design, but I just don't think that this is something that I really want to do.

Right now I have an opportunity to get out of here and make something of myself and never having to worry about money for as long as I live, but I'm not sure that this is truly something I want to do. I wouldn't dare go into writing –although I love to write and read… god knows I'd be shot down in a Nano second. I'm just not sure what to do and so my answer to my father was "I don't know." He smiled his reassuring smile like he always does and said, "You will know it when you see it."

I can never believe how cool and down to earth my father is. My mother told me that I'd gotten this scholarship and that I'd best not blow it.

My grades are to stay above 80% and somehow I've managed a 90% overall average. I just feel like I'm doing what my mother wants me to do and not what I want to do with my life. To be honest I'd love to go to art school but just for me to improve on the skill that I already have. I don't want to be famous and I know that I won't make money with it, and I don't care. I just love it. It too is an escape for me.

At the end of the day I scurry to the main lobby to head straight for the black Rolls Royce phantom that waits for me. It's the same thing every day. Everyone watching in awe as the newly found rich girl makes her way to her daddy's car. Most people would love the attention but have I mentioned that I'm completely shy as hell? Yeah I think I did.

I duck in –out of sight from the dark tint and call my father begging him to reconsider the Royce like I do every single day for the past year and nothing I say seems to help. I do believe he loves to hear me argue my points though.

"So Rezz, what are you and your mom going to do tonight?" He asks and I always hate to cover for her.

"I'm not sure Dad, but I have a crap load of homework, not to mention I have to fill out my collage applications a year earlier because my daddy insists on it." Now there I didn't lie.

"You know baby you don't have to do design. You can wait and think about it… maybe business?" He asks.

"Oh Dad, you ask me this every single day. You know that I have no interest in business." I grin.

"I know, but you'll have my empire to run someday." He tries.

"Daddy, I really have no interest in your company." I smile.

"Well weather you like it or not it's your company." He chuckles back.

We say our goodbyes and I head home.

Our new home is large of course –one hundred acres on the outskirts of Seattle. I'm still shipped to my old school every day –hence the Royce. It's a Southern style home with white siding, a wrap around porch, black shingles, in a quite country setting, amidst rolling hills, creeks –its pure serenity. The realtor told us that the house was six thousand, seven hundred square foot.

Daddy bought me horses and we have a little farm too. The house has five bedrooms, four full baths and two half baths. We have a formal living room in white, creams and browns, formal dining room in cherry wood and navy blue, daddy's study, guest quarters above the three car garage. Along with our gourmet kitchen, with state of the art cooking appliances, marble countertops and the backsplash above the sink painted deep red. Wood ceiling and floors along with the large stone fire place that I love to read in front of in the living room.

It of course is everything I've ever dreamed it to be and if I could stay here forever I would. I never want to leave the beauty of my home it's wonderful… however the underlining isn't so great.

Family life is still shit. Dad and I are getting along wonderfully, he's still forever trying to get Emily out of that hell hole and I commend him for his efforts, but the bottom line is that she's a ward of the state until she's sixteen and she's not going to be getting out anytime soon. I've come to terms with that, but Edward… well he's forever trying to please my mother.

Dad's never home always away on business and although we talk a lot on the phone and he's always there when I really need him… he's not a constant… yeah know. Mom's gone back to the bar scene. She won't go to the upper class clubs or bars that we're now a member too. She says that they're just not her and she wants to be herself. Whatever the hell that means. I mean booze is booze no matter where you drink it right? She's just simply a drunk. There's no other way to say it.

Chelsea is doing well in school. Her friends all think it's cool that she has so many horses. She loves to show them off. I'm thrilled that she's doing so well in school.

So sadly I thought things would be different when my parents got back together, but the sad truth is that it hasn't. My mother is the same as she's always been… but her preference in booze has changed a little… no more cheap draft only bourbon and hard liquor for her now. It's nice to have my dad and the money… it's nice to not starve, but I'm still alone looking after my sister and I have no parents at all again. If I could have my parents and give up the money I'd do it in a second, but that's just not going to happen.

I know what you're all thinking –poor spoiled little rich girl –but people that's just not me. I don't give two shits about the money. I just want my parents. How sad is that? I have the world at my feet, but the one thing that I want most is the love from my mom and dad.

Today is the same… the nameless man opens my car door nods and walks me to the front door of our huge house and then the maid who we too have no name for –Cindy or maybe it's Kathryn today…? I don't know –takes my bag and tells me that dinner is ready. I walk to the dining area and sit by myself because my sister has already eaten and in the backyard playing with the nanny. I eat my dinner and then insist that I bath Chelsea and put her to bed –After all the molestation I just don't trust anyone to do this for my sister –I put her to bed and then I head to my bedroom to start my studies –only tonight it's different –tonight my whole world changes.

**Bella's Point Of View**

Life has been good –god it's been good. For the first time in my life I don't have to worry about anyone. I get to be myself, enjoy myself and I get to look good doing it… how great is that?

Rezz is doing so well in school. I'm so damn proud of her to have gotten a scholarship –she better not fuck that up! I mean fuck if I was given half the chance that she has I might have made something of myself.

I envy my daughter. She's lucky to have the father's she's got. I was given my asshole of a father Charlie and look where that's left me. My mother is constantly sticking her nose in Rezz's life… she thinks she knows fucking more about her than I do… fuck her!

I'm so fucking drunk! My head is reeling in all different directions. This bar is filthy and yet here I am sitting here with my eight thousand dollar dress touching the grim –my diamond earrings glimmering off the red light and I don't give two fucking shits.

I thought my life would be different when the love of my life and I were given a second chance. I thought he'd always be there to charge in and save the day, but somewhere I know I lost him… somewhere he just gave up on me. He doesn't touch me anymore and he's barley at home. He's left me and my kids. He doesn't care about us… fuck em.

I've decided that drinking myself in to oblivion every night is better than feeling the sting of loneliness that every fucking waking hour brings.

Where was my happy ever after huh?

Fuck, this is reality and in reality it just doesn't happen. Life is cold, brutal and completely fucking lethal. This is my reality right here… the bold burn of the bourbon let's me know that I'm still alive… barley.

It is what it is.

I don't worry about my kids now that they're taken care of… looked after. If something were to happen to me they'd be fine… more than fine.

I just don't want to be this… I don't want to be here anymore… I just want to feel the nothingness that caresses every aspect of my life.

My phone is vibrating on the bar and distracts the man next to me. He kindly pats me on the shoulder and tells me that my phone is vibrating. I smile and ask him if he wants to make me vibrate. His wife looks at me in complete disgust and asks if I'd like to have a broken fucking nose. I smile back at her and finish off my drink asking the bartender Armando if I could have another. He signals that I've had enough and kindly asks me to locate the front door.

"Asshole, I'll take my fucking money next door!" I yell staggering off the stool and head out into the street.

So yeah life is good in the material sense. Isn't that what we all want? I mean I don't have to want for anything other than Edward. Small price to pay you say… I suppose to most but to me it's fucking hell.

Rezz took him from me… she took all his love. I saw it the day he found out she was his. He never again looked at me the same… he was all shining armor for her –rushing in to save the day. It's all her fault that he's lost to me. She's ruined my fucking life. All the years I ran from Jake –hid her to protect her and that's the thanks I get… she took the only thing that's ever mattered to me in my whole fucking life? Well no fucking more… her ass is out the fucking door.

~~ . ~~

Pulling up at the house I'm green with envy. I hate my daughter more than anything and I want her out of my way so that I can be happy.

"Rezz!" I scream out,

"Can I help you ma'am?" The nanny asks as I push her ass out of my way and head up the stairs to find my inconsiderate, ungrateful and selfish daughter.

When I bust into her room she doesn't hear me because she has her headphones in. She doesn't see me either because her back is to me. She is laying on her front –swaying her feet to the beat of whatever horrendous music she's listening to and reading her school books. I stand there for a moment watching her enjoying herself and the rage… the god damn rage that fills me is almost unstoppable –mixed with alcohol it's as deadly combination. All I can think about is her smiling face. How happy and care free she is –yet here I am miserable and she's the one who's done it to me. I hate her –no loath her –yes that's it –I loath her.

I walk over to her and rip the ear buds right out of her ears. She jumps with a shock look on her face and then her eyebrows fold in, in a scowl… oh god I wish she wouldn't have done that.

The next few horrific moments I'll spare you. I will never be able to forgive myself for what I've done here tonight. The image of my frightened teenager's eyes will forever hunt me –as it should. I've gone too far this time –the drink is my own demon and I'm scared. I have no one to turn to and I've got no one to blame but myself.

All I can hear now is my daughters screams, "I hate you! I'll never forgive you for what you did to me! Look what you've done! Do you feel like a woman now? I'm fucking leaving!" And with that my daughter has left me alone in her room that I've torn apart using her almost lifeless body. I look down and realize that I was wearing my shit kickers too –my steel toe boots. They had to have hurt her badly. I sit there tears in my eyes wondering where she'd go.

I get up off the floor and run after her as fast as I can… afraid that she's more than just hurt, but the moment she see's me in the doorway of our home he runs as fast as she can down the dirt road. I call for the driver to go and get her and he does just that. I know that I will suffer the repercussions from Edward, but no one can hurt me more than I've just hurt my fucking self.

I'm done. I need help. And I now know that I need more than what Edward can do for me. He is not my salvation he is only my heart.

**Edward's Point Of View**

I was sitting here working my ass off trying to figure out when to finally reveal Izzy's to Bella, when I got the call.

The moment Cindy the house maid told me that Bella had kicked the living shit out of Rezz, my heart sank in fear for my daughter and rapidly picked up pace from the anger that I was feeling.

What the hell was Bella thinking?

I'm about to call the cops when Rezz calls me and tells me that she's staying with her friend Kim, whom I've never met. She proceeds to tell me that her mother threw her into her book shelf and kicked her ribs with her steel toe work boots. I beg her to let me see her… that I just want to make sure she's alright and she turns me down,

"Dad, I love you but I can't live with that woman anymore. Do you know that she's blaming me for the mess she calls her life? If I was such a god damn burden why the hell didn't she just abort me?" Rezz is crying so hard that I can barely keep up with her.

I want to reach through the phone and hold her.

I just want to hold my daughter.

I had no damn idea what set Bella off or what the hell had been going on around the house. I've been so into getting Izzy's up and running for Bella that I've been spending too much time at the office –not to mention that I've been doing everything I can to get Emily home.

Why? For what? For a woman who _**clearly**_ doesn't care about anything or anyone but herself.

I bag Rezz one more time for her to let me see her and finally she agrees. "Fine daddy, but you won't like what you see and I'm not going home. I'm tired of cleaning up her messes. I need to rid myself of her shit."

"Okay baby, I promise I won't make you go home." I vow even though everything in me is screaming to make her come home with me.

~~.~~

When I pull upside the little duplex Rezz comes out wearing a sweeter –the hood pulled up over her long dark locks. I get out and wrap my arms around her and just hold her to my chest. I listen to her sob, feel her chest rapidly move in and out and I Shh her all while I rub her back –swaying back and forth in a non-harmonious dance.

When she pulls back I lower her hood to see the nice shiner her mother has left her right eye in. I feel a ping of guilt, anger that her mother could strike her in such a way and then I gingerly reach for her ribs. She pulls back at the slightest of contacts and I bag her to go to the hospital. She refuses but I know that she must.

A little bit of persuasion and she agrees to go.

After hours it seems the lady in a white lab coat comes out to inform us that Rezz has a few bruised ribs,

"That must have been some tumble off that horse." The lady says. Rezz only nods… she's always protecting her mother.

"There's not much I can do for you. They have to heal on their own. Take some Tylenol for the pain and come back and see us in about six weeks. Try not to do any excessive sports or activities." We both nod and away the lady goes. I don't even know if she's the doctor or the nurse.

"Rezz… come home where I can look after you." I beg.

"I would love to daddy, but I just can't be around her right now. I just need some time to figure out what I want to do."

I think about this for a minute and nod. There is only one other option for me now. I know that this is not the way I wanted to do things, but I really don't want her living with another teenage girl –god knows what kind of trouble they can get themselves into.

"Alright then, how do you feel about staying with your grandparents for a little while, until we can figure some things out?" I ask looking straight ahead as I open the hospital doors for her.

"I really don't want to bring nanny into it. I mean mom's already got it out for her." She states.

I look straight ahead, "No, I meant my parents."

"I don't know. They don't even know that I exist. Do you think they'll have me?" She asks as she looks down at the green marbling floor of the hospital foyer.

I pick her chin up in my fingers as I always do with her mother –look her directly in the eyes and tell her, "Your grandparents will be fools if they don't love you." I give her my most sincere smile and I'm rewarded in return with hers.

~~.~~

I'm breathing heavily holding my daughter's hand the whole way to my parent's home. I'm not sure how they'll retort to Rezz. There's no telling how my mother will counter to the news… how she'll feel her snooty friends will think of the bastard child her son has had. My father and I haven't really spoken since Bella found out about Rezz being Jakes. He has no idea yet that he's a grandfather.

When we pull up to the familiar white pillars –that is the Whitehouse of my childhood home, I grasp Rezz's hand tightly… reassuring her or myself… I'll never know.

My father and mother come to the door as always holding one another smiling that I've come to visit. I smile back wave and walk to Rezz's side of the door –opening it and revealing the young teenage girl in my car –whom they have no idea who she is and then place my hand at the small of my daughters back edging her towards my parents –her grandparents.

The look in my mother's eyes tells me that she's already reading the situation all wrong. A teenage girl with a black eyes and I'm bringing her home to meet my parents. I can only guess what's going on in her mind.

I've had this conversation a thousand times in my head. It never comes out right and I never know how to explain the miracle that is my daughter.

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet your granddaughter Renesmee." I guess that's as good as any introduction.

My mother looks straight at me, never once looking at Rezz. My father stands there shock and awe filling every inch of his stunned face. Dad takes a few moments to look Rezz over and then walks to her taking down her hood. Rezz and my father stare at one another for a few moments and then the tears start to fly as my father wraps his arms around her and holds onto her for dear life.

My mother on the other hand looks absolutely revolted and I can't say that I wouldn't have acted differently than her if it was my brother Jasper bringing home his long lost daughter.

Without a word we head indoors out of the threatening grey clouds casting overhead.

We stroll to the good ole brandy room and of course my mother takes a long pull on her Cigarette and downs her scotch. I guess this is as good a time as any to ask.

"I was wondering if it would be alright with you if Rezz stays here for a little while. I've got some things to figure out at the office and at home?"

My father only nods knowing that there must be more going on at home because of Rezz's black eye. My mother stays motionless.

"Mom, if it's not alright with you I can always get her, her own hotel room for a little while?" I suggest.

My mother turns around with an evil looking glare in her eyes and then finally speaks, "No of course she can stay here with us." I nod knowing that her trying to control her anger is very hard for her.

I take Rezz's hand and lead her to my old bedroom. She's very nervous.

"Do you think they like me?"

"Of course love. What's not to like?" I smile and she gives me a small nod.

"Listen, you don't have to tell them anything that happened at home if you don't want to." I reassure her.

"Dad, I never tell anyone about mom. I don't know why. I guess no matter what I always want to protect her." I lower my head in shame.

"Rezz, honey. I promise that I'll make it right. I should've been home more. I'm not really sure what I'm doing…. I just… I'm so fucking sorry." I pull her hard into my chest and cry unbreakably with her.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

When Rezz finally falls asleep I tuck her in and head for my parents. I find them in the same place I left them, only this time my mother is three sheets to the wind… drunk.

"Edward," My father jumps from the couch, "Who, where how?" He starts.

"She's Bella's and mine. There was some sort of mistake with the DNA tests. After I found Bella and I saw her, I knew she was mine. We had another DNA test done in private and it turned out that the results from last time were tampered with and she's mine." I state.

"When did you find this all out?" Asked my father.

"About a year ago" I say

"And you didn't feel the need to inform us that we're grandparents!" my mother screams at me"

"No. I wanted the time to get to know my daughter." I whisper. I really don't have the right to yell back. I'd be angry too.

"No because like always you're fucking selfish!" she yells.

That did it.

"I'm selfish? I had to keep her from the two of you because of the way I knew you's would've reacted. If you don't want her to stay here that's fine I'll take her somewhere else!" I holler.

"Now everyone just calm down… you have to understand Edward that this is a bit of a shock to your mother and I. Of course Rezz can stay here. Is she in some sort of trouble?" My father asks obviously taking in the black eye.

"No. She's a smart and talented young woman and you won't have any trouble from her." I tell him.

"Oh so it's her mothers handy work then?" My mother speaks before taking a swing.

I walk over to her and take the glass from her, "It's this that's ruined Bella… and if my daughter is to stay here none of this will be taking place. She's been through enough." My mother looks at me, down at her glass and then with the knowledge that she's done the same thing to me and my brother rests her hand on my shoulder before heading to bed and with this small gesture I know my mother has agreed to at least try.

After my father reassures me that Rezz will be fine and I tell him that whatever she needs I'll provide it, he just smiles and asks me, "Are you going to stay tonight too?"

I think about and decide that it would probably be best if I did. I walk upstairs to find my sleeping beauty –throw my suit jacket over the back of my desk chair –tuck her hair behind her ear –pull the covers over her and then take a set on the chair beside her bed.

Where did I go wrong?

Here my daughter lies broken and barley a person. Her face shows me the same emptiness that lied behind it when I first met her and I swore that I would never allow anything to ever hurt her again.

I've been so involved with making this family work that I guess I didn't stop to think that perhaps; all my daughter needs is her mother's love. I don't even think that she feels loved by her.

What a fucking waste. Not in the sense that I've given up on Rezz, God no… It's just Bella. I've not given up on her but I can't help but feel that all my efforts were for nothing at all.

It's all a big dream that apparently I've been having all alone.

~~.~~

I stay awake all night going over and over in my head on what I'm going to do and I decided that I'm going to talk with Rezz about how she feels and go from there.

I definitely don't want to do this if she's not on board, because I'm going to need her for this.

It's time Bella got the help she needs and if she can't see that she needs it and refuses, then she leaves me no choice but to send her down the road, while I look after Rezz and Chelsea.

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**That's all guys and gals. Please let me know what you all think. **


	24. Chapter 24 Imperial crackdown

**Chapter 24**

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**Imperial crackdown**

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**A/N: Hello there all. I've posted the video for MP if you have not seen it; it's posted on my web site. You can find the link on my homepage/profile here on fanfic. **

**I hope that you're all keeping well and that you're all still writing or reading. This is one of the things that brings me happiness and somewhere along the line I've fallen off and am now back on it. **

**Again I thank you all for your patience and understanding. I'm sure most of you understand how demanding a little one can be. **

**As I always say I do NOT own anything relating to the Twilight Saga. Everything is owned by S.M -The true talent here. I just enjoy playing with her characters. **

**There is no Lemon and there will only be one more chapter and then we're calling it a rap. **

**That's it Happy reading all.**

**Beta:Dee**

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**Bella's Point Of View**

"Hi my name is Bella and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Bella," My new friends address me.

"I knew that I needed help the day that I struck my oldest daughter so hard that she ended up in the hospital. It's been four hundred and twenty days since my last drink. I'm to go home to my family… well what remains of it… tomorrow. I'm nervous because I haven't seen Edward in over a year and a half and I'm not even sure if we're still an item." I bite my lip before continuing.

"Before I relied on him for everything and now I've learned to look after myself, but I guess I'm afraid that I might fall back into my old ways. Will I go back to the drinking… will I allow Edward to shelter me from reality… will my daughters forgive me for my wrongdoings? I wish I knew the answers but I don't. I'm terrified to look my oldest daughter in the face and admit to every single thing I've done to her. I can only hope that my family can see that I've changed –that I have found a new lease on life… so that's it I'm Bella and I'm learning to put one foot in front of the other."

The claps and cheers do nothing to make me feel less anxious as to what awaits me in only a few short hours. I've not written my family or talked to them on the phone in over a year. In the beginning Chelsea found it too hard to talk to her mommy on the phone and then Edward seemed to hate talking with me… a reaction to the beating I placed on our daughter Rezz no less.

I've learned that everything that's happened is in my past now, and I have to learn to live with what I've done and understand that I _**can't**_ change it. It's my family that have to see that I've changed now… it's them that have to either learn to forgive me or not to. I can't force their decision on them, but if they refuse to accept that I'm moving forward my counselors say that I need to move on and heal myself.

I understand that they want me to heal, but I can't heal if I know my daughter is in pain. I'm ashamed of myself and what I've done. I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for all the pain and neglect that I've caused, but is it too late… are they tired of my saying sorry?

For these very reasons I went to tell the counselors that I didn't feel like I was ready to face to outside world. I was afraid of relapse, yet they tell me that everyone goes through this when it's their time to leave. That no matter what… family is family and they will love me for the rest of my life.

I'm not so sure about that.

~~~.~~~

Uncertainty and doubt wash over me as I'm escorted to the front lobby where Edward sits quietly in a corner of the room looking lost out the window. I stare at him for what feels like forever –taking in how much he's aged in the time I've been gone. He looks so sad and hurt and I know that I've placed that anguish upon him. His hair has now received a salt and pepper look –no doubt do to the stress that I've put him under. There beside him sits a young lady, who I'm sure I've seen before but I can't quite place her. Her hair is dark brown –short she has a sporty build and then my eyes land on the two of them holding hands.

I've lost him… I know I have.

They both look up as I walk closer to them. Edward stands first and tightens his hold on the young lady's hand.

"Edward," I start ready for the blow.

"Bella, you look well. How are you feeling?" He asks,

"I feel better. A new lease on life…. Who's your friend?" I nod to the young girl standing beside him. He looks at me strangely and then says the unthinkable.

"Bella, this is Emily. She's been living with us for about a year now."

I stand there totally overwhelmed. It's been so long that I didn't even recognize my own damn daughter?

"Emily, you've grown. You're so beautiful and such a young woman now." I can't help myself I start to cry and pull her into me.

Emily starts to cry along with me, "I'm so sorry baby… I'm so sorry" I whisper while I stroke her hair.

"It's alright mom. I'm glad that we all get a second chance."

Her words give me hope… a second chance. This would be my third… do people get third chances? I don't know but damn it I'm going to do whatever it takes to prove that I'm going to give it my all. I will never go down that road again.

I look to Edward not sure if it's only Emily who's giving me a second chance. He smiles and takes me into his arms. I cry immediately. His strong arms are always so comforting.

"It's nice to see you too Edward." I smile as he puts his hands in his pockets uneasily. I pat him on the shoulder and give him a shy smile letting him know that I'm alright. He smiles back and grabs my bag while Emily and I stay locked together.

When we leave the facility I take in a deep breath and know that I'm lucky to have the family that I have and that this is a start to a new life for us.

This crisp autumn air filling my lungs is like taking my last breath before I drown. I will hold it in my lungs until I have no fight left in me. I will make everything right again.

I will.

**Edward's point of view. **

It's been the hardest year that we've all faced. Rezz still refuses to come home and the unthinkable has happened… she's dropped out of high school… lost her scholarship and has started to do drugs and drink like her mother. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I find her and try to bring her home she runs away. Tomorrow is her eighteenth birthday and I'll have no rights to her at all. She'll be an adult and she'll get to make all the decisions.

Rezz has made it nearly impossible for me to be in her life. She left my parents' house about a month after she moved in with them and then she moved in with her Aunt. She stayed there for six months and re enrolled into school. I had hopes that she would continue her studies, but then she fell for a boy who was into drugs and then all she cared about was drugs, alcohol and her deadbeat boyfriend.

When they separated, she fell into a downward spiral and her aunt called not sure how to help her. I went right away and all that happened was her and I getting into an enormous blow up and me dragging her ass home, only for her to turn around and run off again.

I thought maybe tough love was the answer, but I guess she'd had enough of that in her life and she told me to fuck off, that I'd never been a part of her life and that I can stop pretending that I gave a damn. She continued to tell me that when her mother did get out that I'd leave and she'd be better off on her own crashing wherever her head could find a pillow.

I feared that she was doing all kinds of things but no matter what I did I only made things worse. I'd called the cops on her to bring her home… she just ran again. I drug her ass home only to be told I'd fucked up and my little girl was never coming back to me again. And the worst part was she was right. I should've done more when I had the chance. Instead I was like every other man that had come into her mother's life the only difference was I'd hurt her too and I couldn't take it back.

I fought to get Emily home and finally I was successful. It was hard to explain to her why her mother wouldn't be living with us for a while, but I shouldn't have been shocked to find that she wasn't the least bit unraveled by the news. She actually welcomed it with open arms.

Chelsea was the hardest one to deal with because she was so young and didn't understand why her mommy didn't want her anymore. I cried myself to sleep most nights lying to her and telling her that her mommy wanted her so badly, but that she was sick and needed help and she couldn't get better at home so I suppose I didn't lie in the end, but it was still breaking my heart to watch this little girl understand more then she should.

I couldn't talk to Bella.

In the beginning it was so hard to hear her beg to come home… how much she hated it there and then to hear her cry out in pain for some sort of alcohol. Then the hallucinations started and she started telling us that the devil was coming after her. It hurt me when the councilors told me that it would be better for the children and myself not to call anymore… that she needed time to get passed the detoxify process.

I understood, but by than the damage was already done. Chelsea was so afraid of her mother that she didn't want to talk on the phone at all to anyone. Emily wanted to wait until Bella came home before we announced that she was home and Rezz… well she wouldn't even talk to me so there was no point in trying to get her to talk to her mother. And me… I just honestly couldn't look after Bella anymore. I was physically drained and emotionally I had no more in me. I felt like a complete and utter failure

What more could I do?

Here I am still an unwed man raising two kids that aren't even my own and the one child that is mine I can't help her at all… I feel… rundown… beat down… helpless.

Some would say that my life turned for the worse and other's would ask me if I could pin point the exact moment where my life went to shit, but my answer would be simple, I've done what I've done because I love these kids and their mother. I wouldn't change a damn thing that I've done, because they needed saving.

Have I saved them though? That's the tough question that I just can't find the answer to. How in the hell are we to be this "Brady Bunch" family if I can't figure it out?

Damn!

~~~.~~~

Today is the big day. I'm not sure how Bella will react to Emily or for that matter Emily to her mother. I wonder if Bella will be upset that Chelsea and Rezz aren't with me today. I figured it would be best if I didn't overwhelm Bella on her first day home.

The anticipation running through my body as I sat in that chair waiting on her was overwhelming to say the least. It'd been a little over a year since we'd seen each other and there wasn't a day that I didn't think about her –worried about her –as I worry now.

I'm scared that she won't be happy about the shitty job I've done as Rezz's father –that I can't even find her to bring her ass home. I worry that she'll be too weighed down with Emily being home now and that I've kept that from her as well for the past year.

I'm simply just plagued with worry.

I don't know what to do with myself and then Emily places her hand into mine and smiles. Her tight grip is for my benefit… I know this but I can't turn my head from the window because I can hear the familiar footsteps approaching.

I wonder if she'll notice my gray hair… will she think that I'm too old looking now?

As Emily tugs at my hand I have no choice but to look up.

Bella is as stunning as ever. Her cheeks are finally full of color. Her hair has gotten longer and is starting to show signs of ageing as well –not much just one streak of gray down the sides. Her lips the last time I'd seen them were as pale as porcelain –now are pink as a rose. She looks healthy… she's even put on some weight.

Hearing her voice was wonderful and watching her shocked face when she learned that Emily was standing before her was without words. I was relived that she wasn't angry and for now hadn't asked about Rezz or Chelsea.

~~~.~~~

The ride home was one of silence. I'm not sure if Bella was nervous or if we were… hell I think we all were. It's strange this feeling I had at this very moment. I felt like I'd just met her for the very first time –yet I've known her for all these years. I guess I was seeing her in a new light… a light in which I'd always wanted to see her in… how I knew she could be… what was this light… happiness maybe?

When we arrived at the door Chelsea was waiting. Bella sprung up in her seat –her hands covering her mouth as her pure and genuine smile reached her eyes. I smiled in return it was hard not too.

When the car came to a stop Bella busted out the door and ran right to Chelsea –swinging her tiny frame all around. Bella couldn't get over that she had small breasts, which she'd, missed her turning into a young lady –Bella started to get a little overwhelmed. I put my arm around her shoulders as she clutched to her children's hands and escorted them all into the house.

Once we entered into the main lobby I brought Bella's things up to our room. I'd got the guest room ready for my stay. I wasn't exactly sure if she'd be ready to share a bed with me so soon.

As I was coming down the stairs I heard Bella asking Chelsea where Rezz was. I entered the living room just in time to stop Chelsea from answering her mother's question. It wasn't because I didn't want to ruin the moment it was simply because I felt it my responsibility to break the news to her myself… not that of our daughters.

After asking the girls to go outside and look after the horses I asked Bella if she'd mind taking a walk with me. She took my hand without question and followed along. I knew that this would be hard for her to hear as it would be for me to tell her. I knew that it would ruin her first day back home, but I knew that if we were to start of on a new note that I'd have to be completely honest with her.

"Bella, there is something that I need to tell you." I started as she took my hand into hers. I stared into the trees before me afraid to look her in the face,

"Since you've been away… getting better, there's been a lot that's happened." I could feel the tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.

"Edward, whatever this is just tell me" I could hear her pleading with me but I still couldn't find the words.

"It's Rezz…. I um…. She's…. Oh hell why can't I just say it?" I shouted in frustration.

"Edward, you're scaring me here. Is she alright? Is she hurt? Where is my daughter?" She demands from me… tears falling down her cheeks. I wipe them away only to swipe at my own before answering her,

"I don't know if she's alright. Every time I get close to finding her she runs again. She got mixed up with the wrong crowed and got into drugs… dropped out of school and no matter what I've done nothing seems to work. If I could just find her… I'd… I'd…"

"You'd what Edward? Lock her up… Tell her she can't go out… send her to an all girl's school? No… by the sounds of it you've tried everything you can… now let me try. It's because of me that she's run off… not you. You are everything to her. She's just confused. I'm back now and I'll get her myself." Bella states calmly… so calmly that I'm impressed.

"How will you find her?" I ask

"I know my daughter and I bet she's staying with a friend. Her friends are a little afraid of me… well the old me… so I figure I can use that to my advantage… one of her little friends will snitch you can be sure of that." She smiles at me and I can't help myself, I wrap my arms around her for once happy as a pig in shit that she's back… that she's ready to take care of us all and that I can soon take a big breath of relief.

On our way back to the house Bella grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop,

"Edward, I don't deserve to have you in my life, but my kids do… and well they're damn lucky to have you. Rezz is a teenager and her hormones are out of whack not to mention what I've done to her, so please don't take this personal. You did nothing wrong and someday they will grow up and appreciate everything you've done. I wish that I was better to you… to my kids… to my family. I wish that I'd only seen what I was doing and that I'd had a wake up call a lot sooner. I'm not naive to think that we'll never find ourselves between a rock and a hard place, but I have hope that we'll figure it out and that things will be better from now on. I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything I've done and I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have someone like you in my corner. You've never given up on me… on us or our family. You Edward a truly one of a kind and I love you from the bottom of my heart."

Bella's whole body was shaking and I knew she was fearing rejection, but I had to look at her like this… so broken –yet so ready to start the life we should've had in the beginning. Her eyes full in fear –glazed over in tears as her mouth and body trembled.

My lips parted for a second and then before I said anything I pulled her into my chest and held her tightly to me –resting my chin on the top of her head,

"Bella," I pull her from me so she call look at me, but never take my hands off of her arms, "You own me heart, body and soul. There will never be another woman out there for me and I will never give up on you… us or our family. How can I show you that I love you … that I'll never leave you and that I'll always be here for you? How can I prove that to you?" I ask her only for her to reach up –place both her hands onto either side of my face and kiss me.

I'm not going to make this into some fairytale sort of kiss, but it was long awaited and very much required. In that moment I felt like things were finally going to be alright and that we were finally going to have the life together that we'd always wanted.

I was positive that Bella would bring our Rezzy home and that we'd all finally live in peace.

**Renesmee's Point of View**

So what do you all think of me now… spoiled little rich girl trying to prove that she's bad ass? That she's looking for some sort of attention? Well you'd be completely wrong. My father thinks because I smoke a little pot that I'm some drug addict. Well I'm fucking not.

Yeah I know… what the fuck is wrong with me? Why'd you throw away your education?

What's the fucking point? I mean my parents had it all figured out and it went to shit so why not start out with shit and see where I end up?

Yeah I'm down on life… hating mine to be exact. I'm not seeking attention because of my mommy… I just want to be left alone to figure shit out… is that really too damn much to ask? I 'm not ungrateful…I love my parents I just need some damn room to breath.

"Rezz, you're going to grow up and take over the family business." "Rezz you're going to grow up and go to University for graphic design….REZZ REZZ" Errr I've just had it.

They've had my whole life mapped out for me… what about what I want?

Oh and I dropped out of school because it's no fun going to school with black eyes and then everyone whispering "Oh that poor little girl… her mommy beat the shit out of her." Hey I'm not looking for fucking sympathy… I just want to be left the fuck alone.

Do I feel lonely…home sick? Sometimes… but then I remember everything that home consists of and I move on.

When do I get to say enough is enough? I was tired of being the fucking punching bag, being a built in babysitter and mothering my own damn mother. When do I get to live it up –make the most out of my youth?

I know that my nanny would be pissed to learn about my smoking pot and dropping out of school, but hell I don't have it in me to tell her what's been going on behind closed doors. I just don't have it in me to break her heart like that. I know that she'll hate her daughter for what she's done and as much as my mother deserves it… I just can't find it in me to hurt my mother like that either.

I'm fucked. I know it.

This is my life. I'll figure it out, but for right now this is where I want to be… downing Jack and smoking up… like mother like daughter.

My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago and I haven't found it in me to really want to do anything. I feel heart broken, yet I'm not even sure that I was in love. I've been seeing a few guys and well they're fun and all but really they're not going to far. Oh and before you even go there yes I'm still a damn virgin and I'm tired of being ridiculed for it. The teasing can stop anytime now.

A part of me just wants to go out and have sex with some random guy and be done with it all. What the fuck is the big deal anyways? I mean 99% of the damn time people regret their first times so why should mine be any different?

Fuck my life.

I walk out to say goodbye to my friend and her mother. I'm just going to walk the streets for a few hours –collect my thoughts for a while. No I'm not a prostitute I just wonder the streets because the cold crisp air makes me feel alive. I can feel it at least –most of the time I'm just numb.

When I get back home I can hear my friend Niki fighting with her mother over the damn computer again.

Really fuck!

I head to the little sun porch in which I currently occupy –close the door and crawl into bed.

~~~.~~~

About a week later I find out that Niki is pissed off at her mother because she's met a man on line and he's coming to town to meet up with her mom. I laugh it off as I put my eyeliner on and head out the back door.

Why the fuck does she care who her mother dates? Whippy do da day

The following week comes and I get introduced to this man and he's fucking awesome. He takes a shin to me… not in the way you might think, but in the way of a father figure. I don't know I guess he felt sorry for me or whatever. But he was defiantly something I needed at that moment… I guess an outsider looking in. No advice, just someone to listen.

After talking with Chris –his name by the way –he made me feel homesick when he talked about his son and daughter and how much he loved them. He made me feel sad that he and his kids had what seemed like –it all together. I envied them. He showed me a picture of his kids his son Jacob looked to be about eleven years old and his daughter Jane looked to be around eight or nine. They looked happy –oh how I wanted to be them.

Chris told me that he'd gone through a divorce with their mother and how it had ruined his life. I felt bad for him and I disliked her in that moment, even though I didn't know her I could see the pain in his eyes. I was glad that we'd become friends and that he was there for me.

A few more weeks had gone by and Niki and her mother were having their family over for Easter dinner and I felt like a third wheel. I was getting ready for a date that I had that afternoon when Chris walked in to the living room asking me what my plans were. I told him that I was going out on a date and he told me like hell I was. I looked at him funny and said, "Oh and why is that?"

"Because I didn't just drive my son two damn hours to come and meet you for you to go out with some other guy"

I laughed, "Well, we're just going to play pool I could bring little Jacob along if that will make you feel better."

"What do you mean little Jacob?" He asked

"Well, what is he like eleven? Do you think he'll have a good time hanging around us?"

"My son is seventeen years old. He's just gotten out of a bad relationship and I thought it would be good for him to get out and meet some new people." He smiled

My mouth dropped, "But the picture… he was eleven-ish." I stammered.

"Well, I need to update my pictures."

I ran for the door and Chris pulled me along the wall, while I held onto the door frame. I was so ashamed. What did this boy think of me? Was his father trying to set us up?

Oh my fucking god I'm a loser. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

After a few minutes I collected myself and found the courage to walk out into the kitchen and there before me was this shy boy. His black baseball cap covered his eyes at first, but while his father made the introduction and he looked up at me I couldn't help but smile. His eyes were the bluest I'd ever seen. He then took his hat off and his blond locks fell loosely around his face. His friendly smile warmed my heart and I had that sensation that everyone always talks about… what was it? Oh yes butterflies. Only I'd explain it as I felt so nervous that I was going to be sick.

We drove around in his father's Camero most of the afternoon and I think all I said to him was turn here. My friend Niki was in the car with us and insisted that we pick up this boy who happened to have a rather large crush on me at the time.

When the day was over I was sad to see Jacob go. I wanted to find out more about him and apologize for not talking with him more, but he left and I went back to my everyday life. The only difference was that now I had this urge to go back to school.

I re-applied and moved on.

A few weeks later Chris came down and gave me Jacobs email address and told me that his son had been driving him crazy, that Jacob had wanted me to email him. Little did I know that Chris had been telling his son that I was hounding him for Jacob's email address… sneaky bugger I know.

I emailed Jacob and the emails just didn't stop. Before long Jacob had made plans to come down and see me. He stayed a week and when that week ended he told me that he didn't want to leave me and that he loved me. I thought he was crazy as bat shit but I liked him and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I told him I loved him too. I wasn't sure if I actually did love him but I knew that he was special.

We talked long distance for a while –running up his mother's phone bill and then Chris and my friend's mother broke up and then she didn't want Jacob to come down anymore. She'd told me that Jacob reminded her too much of Chris and she just couldn't bare it. I had found ways around her demands. Jacob and I would just crash at friends houses or I'd go to the City where he lived.

It wasn't until Jacob's mother was getting married and she asked me if I'd like to come to her wedding that things went sour. Niki had gotten mad at me –telling me that I'd been spending too much time with Jacob and not her or our friends –which I never understood because I lived with her –had classes with her and we hung out all the time, not to mention that I only seen Jacob once a month. Then Niki's mom told me that I wasn't allowed to got to the City for Jacob's mom's wedding. I was pissed. I paid her rent to live there I was eighteen years old and she had no damn right to tell me what I could and couldn't do… so there was only one damn option that I had left and that was to go home.

I contemplated on whether or not this was what I really wanted and the answer was yes, I wanted Jacob and I was willing to do just about anything to have him.

When I called and my mother answered I was a little taken back,

"Hello… hello?" She called and I was too scared to say anything.

"Hello…" she hollered out again and then finally I answered her.

"Mom, its Rezz" There was an awkward silence on the phone and then I could hear her telling my father that it was me on the line.

No one hung up so that was a good sign.

"Can I come out to the house, there's something I have to tell you both?" I asked

_Silence_

"Yes of course. Would you like us to send a car?" I knew this was her sneaky way of finding out where I was staying.

"No, I'll come to you." I answered

"Okay, we'll see you soon then?"

"Yep see you soon."

I hung up again with knots in my stomach, but I felt more strength now then I had before.

I knew that my mother had been doing some digging, but little did she know the friends that I'd made recently were nothing like my old ones. They all hated their parents as well and hell they were too worried about their dope to worry about my drama or where I was living… so I knew she'd only get so far.

~~.~~

When I made it to the house I felt like I was going back in time. The anxiety that I'd left at this house was still waiting for me here as I returned. I guess it's true what they say about not being able to run from your past that it will come back to haunt you.

My father was standing there waiting in the doorway… no doubt he'd been watching the whole time for my taxi to show up.

My feet felt like cement blocks as I walked towards him, but when I stood before him he just held me tight.

He held me at arms length to get a good look at me and I guess he liked what he saw, because I wasn't looking so good the last time he'd seen me, but I felt different now. When we walked into the house I immediately felt the tension but it all went away the moment I saw Chelsea. I'd felt so guilty leaving her behind. I thought about her all the damn time. She looked great and I was happy that she was so happy. Then I saw her… I saw Emily. I looked up to my dad as he smiled and nodded. Emily and I ran to each other and I was so thrilled to see her. Then there was mom standing in the doorway of the living room. I walked over to her and gave her a hug. She looked good and I was happy to see her looking so well.

When we all made our way into the living room I stood before my family –nervous and scared but I knew that I was wrong too and I wanted to tell my parents my father mostly that I was sorry for making them worry.

"You're not pregnant are you?" My mother jumped right into it.

"No, but I am in love." I reported, quite frankly realizing it for the first time for myself.

My father smiled and asked me who the lucky man was and I told them the hardest part of all,

"His name is Jacob." I looked at my mother

Her eyebrows shot up like a bullet.

"I know it's not the best of names for you guys but please remember he's a different person and he means the world to me." I stumble out quickly.

"OK" my father eyes me

"I'm in a little bit of a situation and I was hoping that I might be able to come home. It'll just be a little while and then I'll find a place of my own." I state.

I went off telling them about the wedding and about Niki and her mother and they told me that I was always welcome to come home.

The hardest part was telling them that I had to leave the very next morning for the wedding.

I was young and I was in love and all that matter was Jacob.

I look back now and I realize that my parents incredibly understood and I was too in love to care about their feelings. I think about that day often and I know that they were just as happy to know I was safe and that I was coming home, that I was to be spending the summer with the guy I loved.

This is where my life began to change.

* * *

**Alright so it's a little bit shorter then you're all used to, but I had to end it somewhere. The last chapter will be in Rezz's point of view and you'll all figure out why by the end of the chapter. **

**I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and please I always like your feed back… so click that little review button down there. :)**

**Until next time Fanfic world… **

**Truly yours **

**April**


	25. Chapter 25 Catastrophic Honesty

**Chapter 25**

**~~.~~**

**Catastrophic Honesty**

* * *

**A/N: Alright readers we're at the End of MP. **

**This is bitter sweet for me. As much as I loved writing this story it truly brought back some very tough memories and I can say that I struggled with writing the last few chapters. Not just because of life but simply because it was the most honest I've ever been with myself. I'm thrilled to have had all of your input and thoughts. I will be posting my new story very soon however I haven't given it a title just yet. I hope that you will all continue to support me and my writing. **

**Until then.**

**Happy reading**

* * *

**Renesmee's Point of View**

I left the next morning on a bus heading for the city. I felt a little sad leaving them after I'd only just come home. However my parents were great about the whole situation. They saw me off and sent for my things from Niki's.

Niki on the other hand had not been as happy about my moving out as my parents' were.

I spent the summer with Jacob and yes within those months we'd slept together. All I could think of was that I was glad I was the 1% who'd never regret their first. I loved this man with my whole heart and I knew that we were destined to be together. He not only brought me happiness when I was lost, but he also helped bring my mother and I back together –even though he didn't do anything. Mom and I now had something to giggle and chew about and it was nice to talk about boys, something my mother knew a great deal about.

For the most part she was happy for me, but she was scared that I'd make the same mistakes that she had and that I'd get hurt. I told her that although she'd had her experiences with men that she wasn't me and she didn't understand love the way I did. I hadn't had much love in my life and now I knew that it was to be cherished. I knew that Jacob and I were _not_ a mistake. Perhaps if she and Dad had been given a different road to follow they might have been as happy as Jacob and I were.

My parents were happy now, but I sometimes wonder what their lives would have been had they taken different roads –would they still have found one another anyways?

When the summer ended I moved back home for a month and then changed schools. I decided it was time to move to an adult alternative school. I got a job at my father's bar/hotel which he re-named Rezzy's instead of Izzy's and worked my way up while I was finishing my high school education. It wasn't long after that, that Jacob moved down here to be with me. We lived above the bar, just like my mom and Jacob Black did so many years ago.

Yes it freaked me out slightly too but my Jacob wasn't like Jacob Black he was kind and caring and he loved me completely. A year later Jacob proposed to me on Christmas morning. I told him that if we lasted five years that I'd marry him.

Seven years later we got married on the same exact day we'd officially started our relationship right down to driving away in his daddy's car. It was one of the best days of my life.

Yes I made him wait seven.

~~~.~~~

So here I am about to turn thirty and now what's started out to be my mother's story has somehow turned in to one of my own. This will probably be the most truthful that I'll ever be in my life –In fact writing this story has been the most truthful, painful, raw and honest adventure that my life journey has taken me on.

I can sincerely tell you that I've lived a –struggled –yet happy and fulfilled life. It is only now that I look back and realize what I truly had and what I've lost or given away –more thrown away. It is through our mistakes and misfortunes that we truly grow as a person. It _is_ the struggles that test us and make us who we are.

It's because of my parents' mistakes that I'm who I am. I've learned through them what not to do with my life. It's because of them that I learned to be a better person a better mother.

Yes I'm FINALLY a mother.

Jacob and I tried for three and a half years to start a family of our own. Within those three and a half years we saw so many doctors. They told me that due to my poor kidneys -I was born with one smaller than the other -and that past kidney and bladder infections had created a blockage to my cervix. These infections were due to neglect on my mother's part, when I was a kid. I'd gotten so many infections and wasn't taken to the doctor. So I had a day surgery almost like an abortion to remove the blockage. Then I was put on fertility drugs for three months and when they didn't work we yet again saw another doctor.

This fertility doctor found out that I also had a blocked left tube. The ovary was still workable and that it wasn't impossible to get pregnant, but that it was damn near close to impossible. The doctor also found out that I had a thyroid condition and because my hormones were not in the "right range" I would most definitely not get pregnant.

_We never gave up._

On Jacob's twenty seventh birthday I took a pregnancy test and I was indeed pregnant. I can't tell you how thrilled I was that I got to tell him on his birthday that he was going to be a daddy.

A week later happened to be my birthday and I woke up with a lot of blood around me. I was terrified and after a hospital visit I was told that I'd lost my baby. I felt like I'd not only lost my unborn child, but that I'd lost myself. I curled into a ball on our couch and just prayed for god not to take my baby –to give us a chance to be parents -until I could mumble no more.

Of course the birthday calls, cards and wishes all came in, but I just didn't want to be bothered. I felt like a complete failure to my husband. I didn't feel like a woman at all. And I couldn't understand what I did to deserve all this heartache in my life.

The doctor's had explained it as there was a "sac" but there was no "yolk" They had scheduled me for a DNC to remove the Sac.

I'd asked our doctor to give me another ultrasound to be sure -call it intuition.

A week later as we were walking up to the hospital for our ultrasound I placed my hand on my tummy and out loud said, "Well baby if you're in there now is the time to show yourself."

_And the baby did just that._

I was so thrilled to hear his heart beat… It was like winning the lotto, only to have it taken away and then given back to you –such a mind fuck. Jacob jumped off of the little stool from where he sat beside me. The stool went flying across the room and we just held each other until there were no more tears to be shed.

The doctor then explained that I was most likely pregnant with twins and that I'd lost one. People ask me all the time if I think about that baby and I guess my answer would be yes most definitely.

I think about the baby I lost every year since that day on my birthday –which does not ruin my birthday it's the opposite really. I feel close to her. I imagine that the baby was a she. I think about her on Christmas, Easter –Holiday's and I thought about her when her brother turned one. They would've celebrated together.

But life goes on. This is a lesson that I've learned. No matter what tragedies come and go… our lives continue on… we continue on –just as we should. The doctors are still amazed that I was able to even carry a baby to full term, but this is not where the pregnancy tragedies end.

While I was delivering our son his shoulder got stuck behind my pelvis bone and there was no time for a cesarean. Our baby was losing oxygen and I was dying –I didn't know this at the time. Our doctor had three choices –let the baby or myself die or both –continue the way we were going and let the baby end up with mental retardation due to a lack of oxygen or break his arm. Our doctor took door number three and broke his left arm.

At the time we'd had no idea that his arm was broke. It wasn't until the next day that they sent for him to have an x-ray. Again we cried. We didn't understand and I was heartbroken that my new born had a broken arm.

We were angry with the hospital –with the doctors, because I'd told them about my mother having cesareans for all of her kids and my two sisters who had children before me had cesareans for all their kids.

It wasn't until after we'd seen the bone specialist that we were told what an awesome job our doctor did and that our boy had a fractured arm –different from a break. Afterwards we walked to our doctor's office and thanked her for saving our baby's life.

We then had to see a neurologist to make sure that there was no nerve damage done to his arm, that no growth plates were damaged. We saw eleven doctors in total.

I can't tell you how hard the first three months of his life were. We were unable to hold him –only to bath, dress and feed. He was to be laid down on his back and left alone. No visitors could hold him –all because if he was moved the wrong way the bone could break further. They never put him in a cast because they said he was so tiny and his bones were not as solid as ours.

They showed us three different x-rays –one each month that showed the calcium filling the fracture in the bone. It looked like a golf ball –larger than the actual bone at first and then it was as if nothing had even happened.

Then came the months of therapy and neurologists –the last appointment we had that we were told he was fine, healthy and that his arm would be perfectly normal was added to one of the best days of my life list.

Our son is now just about fifteen months old and is running all over the place. He's growing like a bad weed and soaking up everything. He's a bright young boy and I can honestly tell you that God has blessed my life with so much happiness. I will forever feel what it's like to be loved because I have the two loves of my life right beside me –my husband Jacob and our son.

We don't live a "well off life." Despite my daddy's money I choose to live a life within my needs. Now that means we struggle, we work hard and some days are better than others. I know you think I'm crazy but I don't believe that money brings you happiness and it most definitely doesn't build character and most often creates more drama than I care to dwell on.

Sure I've not had the greatest out of life but I can tell you that I've lived with two aunts, my grandfather, grandmother and friends and I am so very lucky to have these people in my life to teach and guide me. I've taken knowledge from each and every one of them.

I've always been told that I'm wiser than my age and yes _no body_ should have to go through what I've gone through but I'm who I am because of it.

So now I've cleaned up my friends and I'm only in touch with very few because I don't care to be involved with the life style choices that they've made.

I've never truly shared my story with anyone and I can tell you that there was a lot more going on then, then I've even written in here. Like for instance when my mother married husband number two with his three daughters and my mother's three girls there wasn't a whole lot of money and most of the money went to booze so we ate one small can of no name vegetable soup with eight cans of water for dinner.

_Shit_ I look back and see how damn crazy all this was, but I know that our son will never go hungry. He'll never know what it feels like to be abused and he'll always know just how much he is loved. I think in my thirty years my mother has told me she's loved me –sober- three times.

I've gotten my high school diploma followed by a great job working at the Hersey factory until it closed and then I made one of my dreams come true, I went to Collage at the age of twenty seven. I walked across the stage with our little boy in my belly a year later graduating with high honors in business administrative.

My sister Emily moved about an hour's drive from us. She has seventeen disorders A.D.D and A.D.H.D among them. She had three little boys, however due to her disorders they went into care just as she had. I've done everything I can think of to help her but this is the life that she is most happy with and those boys were adopted into wonderful homes.

My sister Chelsea has three kids as well. One little girl that she had at the age of fifteen, I named her Janelle. We call her Jen. Then Chelsea met another guy and had another little girl who she named Danielle. The father was very abusive and Chelsea gave Danielle up for adoption to protect her from her father. It was probably the hardest thing my sister ever did in her life. We still see Danielle and she's such a bright young girl. Then Chelsea moved on and met another man and got pregnant once again. She didn't want the baby and they decided to have an abortion. I was so angry. The abortion happened at the time that Jacob and I were trying to have a baby of our own and I couldn't understand why when I would give anything to have a baby that my sister would do anything to get rid of one. At any rate Chelsea stayed with this man and has been with him for around six years give or take and they now have a little boy named Marcus who is about to turn one in a few days.

_Like mother like daughter._

I can't understand for the life of me how Chelsea and I can look at our upbringing and see things very differently. She always manages to find the wrong type of guy and get herself into the wrong type of situation.

When Chelsea was thirteen, we sent her to a detention center because she was so involved in drugs. I've always been there for my sisters whenever they should need me and I will always put their best interests first. However I still need to think of my own family and now more than ever do I need to let them stand on their own two feet.

They're all grown now and are both living a _clean life_. I can't always drag them out of trouble. I need to learn to be their big sister not their mother. .

~~.~~

One of the friends that I stayed with told me recently that if she'd known that what I was going through at the time she would've tried to help me more… done something. My own nanny told me that had she known what was taking place, she would have dragged my ass back home with her, but that was just the thing –I felt alone, welcomed it as wired as it sounds. I hated –still do hate involving people into my problems. I hate being the poor girl who needs help. There wasn't a thing that anyone could do because I never shared my story until now.

It's hard to admit our wrong doings and I can tell you it's hard to face the dark truth of our lives, but I've only just now not felt ashamed of what I've gone through, but proud to have been strong enough to survive it.

~~~.~~~

My parents never stayed together. Let's be honest we all knew that this would happen. My father I guess got tired of trying to save my mother from herself. My dad is happy living in the middle of nowhere, left alone and happy with his lady.

I will always be a daddy's little girl and he is just tickled that he gets to be a grandfather. He has always been a major role in my life and every day that I have him I'm grateful. I'd never had that father/daughter love until Edward came into my life and it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong and a bigger one to try and change it. I missed out on a whole lot of time with my dad and I intend to make up for it until the day he takes his last breath. He's never walked out on me and no matter what it is that I need help with he's always the first one to help me. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but whatever it is I can never repay the debt.

My mother has remarried once again, but I have to say that she's finally settled down. He has two sons and well they don't really have much to do with their father. My mother doesn't go to bars anymore and she too has moved out into the country. She still drinks –not like she use to –it's more a social able thing. We still have our issues mom and me. Whenever the topic of abuse comes up she never admits what she did to us –which is okay, because I know she knows -and she knows that I know.

My husband can't understand why I want anything to do with her at all. The only time she calls is when she wants something, but I can tell you that no matter what my momma has done I've always been right there for her and I always will be. I will always try to save her from herself –a burden I guess I will always have to endure. The only difference now is that I'm grown and she can't hurt me the way she did when I was little.

I think she's seen our son all of five times in fourteen months. It bothers me sure, but I look at it as it's not our son who misses out it's his grandma. The issue is that I don't want her to drink or smoke around my son and she can't give it up to visit with him. Therefore as always she's chosen her alcohol and cigarettes over her family.

I've learned to accept that mom is mom and she will never really truly change. However it's great to see her happy –when I see her -and it makes me happy that she's not running around bar hoping.

I know –what's the difference if she's still drinking? Well… a lot. She's not drinking much and although she is still choosing it she's different emotionally. I know that she's proud of me and that she loves me and I don't need to ask. I know that she regrets her mistakes, but can't find it in herself to say it out loud.

I won't make excuses for my mother, but I truly believe it was Jacob Black that ruined my mother –that broke her spirit. After Jacob my mother was never the same. I hate that man and if I ever saw him again I would have a great deal to say to him. Last I heard he got remarried to wife number three who happens to be my baby sister's age twenty three or something like that. He had a son and beats the shit out of his wife.

If I've learned anything in this life it's how to sniff out an asshole when I see one and by asshole I mean an abuser or a user. I _can't_ tell you how frustrated I get when a friend tells me what their husbands or boyfriends are doing to them. It happens more often than I'd care to admit, but it happens.

My question to all the women out there is why the hell do we put up with it?

There's the old saying that "Shit happens"** Well that shit shouldn't happen.**

You know I thought about what I wanted you all to get out of this story and where the hell I was going with it. I'm not sure to be honest. I don't know if it was my own type of therapy or if it was some sort of life lesson that I wanted to help others, but I can tell you that against all odds I survived a life on welfare doing drugs, drinking, physical and mental abuse and fighting infertility.

I've pushed forward mostly because I was always told that I was going to be just like my momma and I wouldn't amount to much. I wanted to spit in every face that looked down on me and laughed at my family. I wanted to show them that even though my last name was Swan that I would beat the odds and they'd be the damn fools.

**And so I have!**

I can say that no matter how alone you may feel. How down and beat up you may be or perhaps scared of a particular situation. How old, young, fat, thin, blond, brunette… you are a woman/Man and you can do anything that you set your mind to. This isn't about how you've lost all hope. It's about telling yourself it's time to start a new day –new life –to find the strength to move forward.

Nothing in this world comes easy and I've learned that first hand. The world is hard ass and if you work hard, hard work brings rewards.

Life is what we make it. As a young child it's what are parents make it. And as parents we'll always make mistakes _**but it's up to us to make our children feel safe.**_

So I guess the final thing I wanted to say is I'm happy, I'm deeply truly in love and I can't thank those who've supported and guided me enough.

I know that I'll be a better mother because of what life lessons I've endured and I'm grateful to have went through all the tragedies because I'm going to be the best damn mother that ever was!

~~.~~

The End

* * *

_**Hello all you readers of MP.**_

_**While you don't know who I am, I've had the great pleasure of knowing and working with April for the past two years or so. This woman has without a doubt blown me away with how she has grown as a writer and woman. I've watched as she's struggled to feel not only comfortable in sharing this story with me, but you also.**_

_**From our first little meeting with The rise of a new beginning and Shawn Fusion I have come to know our dear author here and have enjoyed every up and wanted to help in every down she has had in the past few years. April has shown me not only what she is made of but how she is truly a selfless person with the biggest heart.**_

_**As she has said countless times in her story Domestic Abuse, Physical abuse and Emotional abuse has a hard bite to not only those who have faced this personally but those who have watched it destroy others. If you have been a victim or know of anyone who has please seek help. I have studied psychology and know that even one person's help is more than enough to get your life back on track.**_

_**For you April, I can't believe that you have not only the courage but the self-awareness to bring this story to life. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I look forward to working with you on your next story and every story you have coming. If I get the chance one day to visit your lovely country, expect a knock on the door and a stranger to hug the hell out of you.**_

_**Deonne (Dee)**_

* * *

What to say here?

I know that you're all a little shocked but don't be. I feel fantastic. I've done something here that was very difficult and I have to say I'm very proud of myself to have gotten it all out in my own way.

If I can help even one person then I've succeeded. If any of you should need some advice please feel free to in-box me. I'm no expert but I can help point you in the right direction of someone who is.

A few things that I would like to clear up here:

All of you readers wanted Edward to be Rezz's father and so that's what I did. But in reality he is not my_ blood_ father, but what is blood anyways? He's more of a father than my own.

To be honest "Jacob" was my two sister's father I was already born before that marriage. My parents were 15 years old and my biological father has only recently gotten involved in my life. We're taking things slow, but he's not truly my dad. However it's nice to know my biological father.

I have a daddy and there is no one in this world who can replace him. I've been very blessed to have a man take this title and even when my mom and he separated he still remained that constant in my life. I love him so very much.

And we do not own a bar. I did however live above and manage one in which I was my mother's boss -which wasn't the easiest thing in the world. Our boss was no relation, but it was a very "rough" bar without bouncers.

With that said I want you all to know that my life my not be perfect and it may have its issues from time to time but it's mine and I'm happy. So please don't feel sorry for me. Instead smile in knowing that I was able to turn it all around.

I would like to say from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU for always supporting me.

To my wonderful husband... You are simply amazing you bless my life everyday for just being apart of it. I love you more then words will ever say.

Final words

Stay strong.

April


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